Caregiver Issues

[Guest Toots]

.

Unfortunately, my family live in another state. For a few years, my sisters would come and stay while I went away (when things were better), and they DID come to help last year because I was sick a lot, but I had to hire others to do the care. They won't come and stay if I'm gone anymore. I think they're really afraid and don't know what to do.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: to you wandacleo. What a heartache for you...it's unfortunate that the burdens of work and worry usually fall on one family member.

[merrieeee]

I really have to give all of you a standing O! I don't think I could do what you are doing and have done. My Mother was an extremely private person and she would have hated me giving her a bath etc.

When she died last year I was devastated but looking back it really was for the best. She could still take care of herself although it was getting difficult and how I would have manged with her in England I me here I dread to think.

I don't do well in any sort of caregiver situation...I guess I'm not wired that way.

{{{{{to all who need them}}}}

[jmh123]

Oh Merrieeee, I hear you. I would describe myself and this situation exactly the same way. The best thing for me so far, the thing I keep coming back to, is the limbo, that I have to learn to accept an ever changing situation and roll with it. I tend to worry a lot, try to figure out how to deal. Seems like there's always something new happening to adjust to and work through. At some point I guess one arrives at a never changing situation, and that's what wandacleo's world sounds like to me.

So wandacleo, you may be so into the routine that you don't realize how amazing you are, but you are. And I hope you're getting all the help you can, because you should have lots of help.

I cannot imagine myself bathing my mother and tending to her personal needs either, but I expect I will end up doing some of that. I have no experience, no training, which is why I think we need an aide. Still a little scared that my sister will object.

I was able to realize this week that I have had already a positive effect on several routines that have improved her situation: medication (just by buying one of those little box sets with the days of the week, which my sister fills and my mother does great with), and eating--we've just done a lot of things, tried a lot of different things, until we've found a routine that keeps her with a decent diet. So now, incontinence & bathing--that's next. And routines of house upkeep. I need to give myself some credit instead of being overwhelmed by how much more there is to do. My sister and her husband do a lot too--we all do. It's just there's a lot to be done. My sister was all on her own with this for two years, when things weren't quite as bad, but she did all my mother's shopping and took her on all her errands, helped with getting the bed made, dealt with all her doctors.

I had a dream, really too long to relate. Cliff's Notes version: my mother was driving and we were in the car, and she tried to drive into the door of the store we were going into, and we were yelling, "stop, stop, stop". (trans. - we just can't let her drive her life anymore.) The other part caused me to feel what her world was alike, in a repetitive scene that just keep looping and looping, and the emotion of it was horrible. Cliff's Notes: I'm looking for my family and keep going from room to room in this store, passing a service area where people who work there say, "Can I help you?" And I would just keep going, but every now and then I'd accept the help and they'd take me out of the loop, but then off I'd go back into it. The rest of the time I was in this deep fog that I just couldn't find my way out of. Once I did, the sensation was amazing, such a relief. Just to be clear-minded. I think I need to give her simple encouragement, holding her, talking to her, so she knows she is safe and connected to her home and family. And keep beating her in Scrabble. And yes, she really is more docile than she's ever been in her life for the time being anyway. It's odd. She was always fiery and bossy and dominating.

[Desertrose]

JMH and Wandacleo,

I fully understand what you are going through. My mother is 87 years old and has Alzheimer's in the final stage. She does not even know who I am. When I went to see her, she was afraid of me and would run me off. She would get violent. I learned that this is common because they are confused, scared and are trying to defend themselves. My father, who is 91 years old and I could not get her to take a bath. This is a woman who was very vain and took a bath twice a day. She was a very controlling person, always in charge, and even in the advanced stages of dementia she was in control. We could not force her to bathe because she has osteoporosis, and she would hang on to the walls, doorways or whatever she could grab, and we were afraid to break one of her bones. She would not let us brush her teeth. We got home health. It was a big German lady, who could not force my mother to bathe either because she said that they do not force patients to do anything they do not want to do. We hired a neighbor who used to be a nurses aide and my mother trusted. The only thing she could do was sponge bathe her. I found out later that some Alzheimer's patients for an unknown reason fear water. My mother did not have a bath for three years, only sponge baths. Those were forced on her when she woke up in the morning, and was still in bed where she could not hurt herself.

She also would become belligerent and run my father out of their house because she did not know who he was and would accuse him of being her "good for nothing cousin" who was trying to sponge off of her. Sometimes in the middle of the night she would wake up and kick him out of bed and out of the house before her husband came home and caught him in her bed. His next door neighbor would tell me that my dad would ring their doorbell crying in frustration. He could not sleep in another bedroom because he had to keep an eye on her. She too did better with male nurses. She was very pretty in her youth, and I think she was still flirty. Once she told me that the doctor who was taking care of her asked her for a date. This went on for five years.

We were lucky to find a foster home run by a very loving woman, who my mother adores. She is always kissing her hand. This woman can handle my mother. My mother now has a bath every day. It was very hard for my father to take this step, but he would have not survived if my mother was still at home. He was a hard worker, and has a pension that goes to pay for this foster home, which leaves him very little money. It is a private home. They do not qualify for any help because both of them worked all their lives and managed to save a little money, plus they own their home. Fortunately I can help, and my adult children help pay my mothers expenses every month. She has been there five years. My father would not have been able to handle putting her in a nursing home. He goes to visit her every other day and actually enjoys the foster home. She is thriving there, and is now the patient who has been there the longest. She cannot even feed herself because she doesn't know how to use spoon, but miraculously, she is the only patient there who is not in a wheelchair. She can still walk with help. The lady who takes care of my mother told me that in the stage my mother was in when she came to live there, they only lasted about 2 years. My mother weighs less than 60 pounds. She has had hospice for the last year, and they measure her to figure out how much she weighs. I call her Wonder Woman. Who knew how strong this woman was?

I took care of my late husband, who was completely paralyzed with Lou Gehrig's disease, at home until he died. He was never hospitalized, and he died at home. I can honestly say that he was easier to take care of than my mother, because even though he had to be taken care of like a baby, his mind worked perfectly and he understood that I was trying my best to care for him. That was also the hardest part because the only thing he could move was his eyes, and he could not speak, but he was aware of everything that was happening to him because his mind was still very sharp. I don't know how aware my mother is. Just once she asked me, a few years ago, if she was insane, and then she said that she did not think that there were any crazy people in her family. So I guess at some level she realized that her behavior was not normal.

I can totally empathize with your situation. Your mother is very fortunate to have you.

Edited September 18, 2007 by Desertrose

[Guest Toots]

:F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss:

You are all angels! :28:

[jmh123]

Desertrose, thanks for your stories about your mother--must have been quite frustrating for you and your father dealing with that. I'm so glad you were finally able to find a place for your her where she is happy and well taken care of. Lou Gehrig's is such a tragic and heartbreaking disease. My heart goes out to you. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[wandacleo]

Desertrose I can certainly relate to all you have been through, and I'm so glad that you were able to find a placement that is working out well. Your poor father must have gone through hell. It's just so difficult with Alzheimer's. I go to a support group, and we're all able to laugh at each other's horror stories, and that does hellp--at least we know we're not alone. I think until people live with this problem, they really have no idea what it's like and how unpredictable things can be. It sounds as though you have had way more than your share of heartache in your life.

Sponge baths, by the way, work just fine. It's a rare patient with advanced Alzheimer's who will get into a shower or bath!

Just one little note (since I'm a nurse and can't resist), I hope those of you with a parent with dementia have talked to the doctors about medications. There are a number of different medications for Alzheimers. Sometimes it can be a trial to find the right one, but they can slow the progression of the disease, and in some cases, make improvements. Mom tried Aricept and Exelon, but they both may her very paranoid and delusional. Scary. However, I waited a while and tried Namenda, and it really made a big difference. She improved back to the point she had been about 1 year earlier and has never gotten as bad as she was before we started the medication, and that was 3 years ago. It's so important to have someone who is familiar with Alzheimer's treatment evaluate people with dementia because sometimes doctors just write it off as "old age," but old age doesn't cause dementia--disease does.

Jmh You will be surprised at what you're able to do when the need arises. You do what you need to do. You've already really done a lot to make things better and safer for your mother. It's almost impossible to solve all problems at one time. Sometimes the best you can do is tackle one at a time. And BELIEVE me, it's not at all unusual for one or two siblings to bear the brunt of it while others are in denial. Not seeing is way easier than dealing.

Edited September 18, 2007 by wandacleo

[jazzgirl]

jmh, I've been reading here and may have some ideas you could use. I don't know if any of these hints will work for you, but they have worked for me:

Bathing - Get a bath bench and shower massage with hose. I hose down mom, she soaps up with a washcloth and liquid soap and then I hose her down again for a rinse. It takes about 10 minutes. I have a full size mat for inside the tub and I also use a tub mat right outside the tub to hopefully limit falls. I've also washed hair by bending her over the sink and using the kitchen sprayer. A NoRinse shampoo product is available too.

Feeding - Buy large adult washable bibs. I ususally clip a paper towel to them so I have to wash the bibs less frequently. Silicone pot holders underneath dishes are good at keeping dishes steady. Mom has a can of a liquid nutrition drink every day that serves as a meal replacement; we use Boost or Glucerna as mom is a diabetic. She has the same breakfast every morning along with the same two snacks during the day, and we have a few revolving dinner menus. Routine is good.

Bathroom accidents - I keep a rolling plastic set of drawers in the bathroom with plastic grocery bags inside. Soiled diapers and clothing go into individual grocery bags which mom is to leave in a bathroom corner until I can take care of them. I have kept extra diapers and clothing in the car in case an accident happens at the doctor's office. We use the belted Depends and like them because if you have an accident, you can do an easy change without having to take clothing off as with regular pull-ons. We also have a bedside commode (which Medicare will cover) and I have quilted leakage control pads over the bed and on chairs.

Healthcare catalogs are very good for purchasing products you can use. I found a bedcane that is great for mom to use to balance herself for getting into and out of bed and also a lever that works for exiting the car. We also bought a motorized chair for the staircase as the only tub is upstairs and I have installed grab bars everywhere; I've counted 10 throughout the house (some horizontally in hallways) and we have a detachable grab-handle over the tub rim.

wandacleo is right. You do what you need to do, especially if no one else is willing to do them. I have found myself doing things I never knew I would tackle.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: to all the caregivers here. It is a tough job!

[wandacleo]

Jazzgirl I can tell you have been through what the rest of us are tackling and have found some good solutions. I LOVE the bibs. I have both the terry ones and the disposable ones, but I prefer the terry. I used to go crazy washing Mom's clothes because she always had food down the front. This is so much better. When I used to take her out to eat, I just put a kitchen towel in my bag and tucked it the neck of her clothes.

[jmh123]

Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone. Mom's still in the early stages of whatever, so some of those things we don't need yet--but others we definitely do. I bought some of those pads to protect the chair she sits in, a couple of kinds of diapers, and a few other things. I had a talk with her a couple of weeks ago, told her it was like when I started my period and she helped me, and it was just part of life. She was pretty receptive, so we'll see how it goes. I didn't see any evidence of more accidents last week, but until the whole house is cleaned it'll be hard to tell for sure (there's a lingering smell). Should look into the bibs as well, and some of that stuff that cancels out smells on upholstery and carpet. I bought her a bath bench already, and we installed a bar, but I'll also get some of those dry-wash cloth thingies--maybe she'll use them herself to sponge off.

I got an agreement from my brother (although he was a bit of a jerk about some things) and mother on the aide, but then my mother backed out again before I could do anything. My sister has some problems in her own life right now, so can't deal--so things are on hold for the moment. My emotional state is better though, now that I have some information, and have some ideas of things we can do now and in the future as they are needed. I think everyone but me is still in denial, but I just have to be patient.

I have been looking for clothes for my mother for a long time without success (she's very picky about what she will wear as a lot of things irritate her skin) and finally found a dress that I knew she'd like last week. She took a bath voluntarily, put the dress on, added some jewelry, and we went out to dinner. She also wanted to get her nails done first, so I took her to the nail salon. You could tell as she looked at herself in the mirror and the way she carried herself that she had pride in her appearance that she hasn't had for a long time. Apparently she's been wearing the dress every day since, which wasn't exactly the plan, but I'll try to wrest it away from her and wash and dry it tomorrow.

I also did some mending of some of her favorite clothes to go out in, because she didn't have a single thing that wasn't torn or the hem half out or something. She doesn't go out often, and she usually wears a robe or nightgown all day, and I've realized that I need to get dark colors from now on because of staining. I've bought her a few, but only the dark housedress still looks decent now. She's always insisting that these things don't matter to her, but it's obvious that they do, so I'm just going to ignore her protests from now on and keep working on this. Also am going to urge again that she get a professional cleaning service in again, because I don't think it'll get done otherwise.

Getting her to the doctor is the next plan, without upsetting my sister. That's been her contribution to mom's care, keeping up with prescriptions, appointments, and so forth, and I don't want her to get mad and dump all that on me--LOL. But someone needs to go into the consultation with her and explain her issues, and see if there's medication that will help. She does go to a geriatric specialist, so I would hope he's informed about these things.

[wandacleo]

Jmh I think that people use denial because it's so much easier. It's really hard to admit that a parent needs a parent (and that you're on the list to be the parent). If you have found a way to help avoid accidents around the house--that's great. Some of the adult diapers are pretty much like panties, so they aren't so hard for people to adjust to.

Stains are a way of life. I have found a product that gets stains out of damn near everything--Nature Bright by Shaklee.

Here is the link to where you can order Comfort Bath wipes if anyone is interested. I couldn't find them in the stores locally, but these are the ones that the hospital uses and they work really well.

Drugstore.com Comfort baths

It's so nice that your mother was able to dress up and go out with you! I'm sure she really enjoyed it.

I know how hard it is for us to see someone declining, and I can't even imagine how hard it must be for him or her. Mom used to make quilts--the kind with 4 inch squares, and I really noticed something was wrong when the quilts she was working on would disappear and I'd find them hidden away somewhere with the sewing all messed up. I know she knew she was doing stuff wrong and was upset by it. I started laying out the quilts for her and pinning the squares in strips and then sat by her while she sewed and helped her put them together. When she was done, she was so proud because she thought she'd done them. It's really important for people to feel as though they're doing something of value, but it can be a real challenge to find ways to help them.

I think it's a really good idea for you to go to the doctor with your mother because he needs to know what's going on. Sometimes, people can hide dementia really well at a visit. Also, if people are incontinent or forgetful, they are sometimes ashamed to tell the doctor. When I take Mom to the doctor, I always type up a report and give it to the doctor. That way, he can read it and I don't have to say it in front of Mom. (Well, right now it wouldn't matter, but it would have in the beginning.) I used to tell Mom I was listing her medications and stuff to make it easier for the doctor. She never asked to read what I'd written.

[jmh123]

Thanks wandacleo. I expect that the accident situation isn't totally resolved yet, but at least we've made a start. That's a great idea about typing stuff out for the doctor. I've said some stuff in front of her when she asks me to straighten out a mess for her when she's forgotten something and I can tell she doesn't like it. But how do you explain to the young man she agreed to let move in upstairs (which she never should've done) that she said he could have a cable modem but when the people came to install it she told them to go away? I'll get some of the Comfort Bath cloths--maybe she can use them herself for freshening up when she needs it. And I'm definitely going to look for some of that Nature Bright. By the time I get ahold of stuff, stains have been set in and spray and wash isn't cutting it.

Edited September 27, 2007 by jmh123

[Couch Tomato]

So couchie, what is your mom up to? Overnight with a friend? Woah!! Couchie is not the whiner I am. Her mom lives with her and has had lots of health problems and couchie has been through a lot.

Hey guys, just catching up in this thread. Uh, I do plenty of whining and really I don't have near the issues that you all have. My mom just has health problems. This year she is having way more good days than bad. She just spent a week in San Diego - she babysat her grandkids while my brother and his wife went to Hawaii for a week. Everything went fine. In November, she's off to South Carolina for about 10 days..that's her home. It gets overwhelming for me only when she's really really sick and I have to take care of most things while working full time. But when she's healthy I come home to a cooked dinner, clean house, etc.

Right now, things seem to be going well. I think getting out and about more has been good for her. She's always been a traveler. But she hasn't done much of it over the past 3 or 4 years because of health issues. On top of that, her little run around local boyfriend moved back to Virginia after his dad died. What people won't do when they think theyll get a bit of money. Well a lot of money..but is it worth wasting years of your life when you're already getting up in age when you already have it pretty good? Lately she's been keeping company with an old friend of hers from her old company. They worked at the same place for over 20 years. So sometimes when I come home for lunch unexpectantly, he's here heee. And she just did her first little "overnight" trip. And then this old old friend from back home is calling her a lot..and she'll see him when she goes to South Carolina. Yep, she's having fun. I noticed when she came home from her little casino trip she was just really happy and bubbly. So she's enjoying the fun and company.

My mom is just in her late 60s but she looks good and still wont' leave the house without her makeup and her jewelry. Don't know where she got me from.

JMH, wandacleo and desertrose, thank you for sharing your stories. I can't even begin to understand the mental element. I've not had to deal with that. We have a good relationship and we live together already. and when necessary I hope to hire a person to come in and help take care of her. I think she'll be open to it. The hard part for me is making sure my siblings do their part. You guys are an inspiration.

[YSRN]

When I take Mom to the doctor, I always type up a report and give it to the doctor. That way, he can read it and I don't have to say it in front of Mom. (Well, right now it wouldn't matter, but it would have in the beginning.) I used to tell Mom I was listing her medications and stuff to make it easier for the doctor. She never asked to read what I'd written.

What an excellent and practical piece of advice, wandacleo. Thank you so much for that idea.

And thanks to all of you for sharing your experience. You're all amazing and very inspirational. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

I guess it's not exactly caregiving if my divorcing sister and her teenage daughter are living in an RV in my yard, is it? It's an emotional rollercoaster though, that's for sure. Holy crap, that girl can CRY!

[jmh123]

I guess it's not exactly caregiving if my divorcing sister and her teenage daughter are living in an RV in my yard, is it? It's an emotional rollercoaster though, that's for sure. Holy crap, that girl can CRY!

Damn right it's caregiving! I can't believe they're still there.

[jmh123]

Today's lesson learned: Do not assume, when doing Diapers 101 with your mom, that she knows better than to try to flush them down the toilet.

[wandacleo]

Today's lesson learned: Do not assume, when doing Diapers 101 with your mom, that she knows better than to try to flush them down the toilet.

And don't assume she'll remember next week either!

I used to put big labels on things (Put panties here!!!) and that helped for awhile. A couple years ago, when Mom, could read a little, if I had to run in the store and leave her in the car, I would make a big sign "Stay in the car!!" and give it to her and have her read it a couple of times. That worked until the time I came out and she was hanging out the window, waving it like a flag and screaming, "HELP!! HELP!" So much for that idea. LOL.

I've had one of THOSE weeks. Mom hasn't been able to go to daycare because she won't cooperate enough for me to get her there. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow because I'm SO tired.

[jazzgirl]

Today's lesson learned: Do not assume, when doing Diapers 101 with your mom, that she knows better than to try to flush them down the toilet.

My mom was flushing her used and hardened denture adhesive down the toilet. Only found that out after it clogged.

I used to put big labels on things (Put panties here!!!) and that helped for awhile. A couple years ago, when Mom, could read a little, if I had to run in the store and leave her in the car, I would make a big sign "Stay in the car!!" and give it to her and have her read it a couple of times. That worked until the time I came out and she was hanging out the window, waving it like a flag and screaming, "HELP!! HELP!" So much for that idea. LOL.

I've had one of THOSE weeks. Mom hasn't been able to go to daycare because she won't cooperate enough for me to get her there. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow because I'm SO tired.

wandacleo, hugs to you!

Thanks for your label suggestion. I'm thinking about putting a sign in the bathroom reminding mom to take her morning pills. She remembers most mornings, but "forgets" a few times a month. She also seems to need periodic reminders to brush her teeth every night. I have found with my mom that even if I tell her something one week, a few weeks later I need to tell her the same thing because she has forgotten it.

jmh123, if your mom likes one dress and wears it everyday, can you buy her a few identical dresses? I haven't tried this with my mom yet, but my dad had eight identical pairs of pants and a few identical tops. His clothes were clean, they just always looked the same! If I found something that worked, I bought it in bulk.

Have others here found this magazine? I think it is very helpful. I have been able to find complimentary copies at my CVS pharmacy if any of you have those in your area.

http://www.caringtoday.com/subscribe-now?#

[jmh123]

Belated hugs to wandacleo. Even if the hugs don't come right away, I hope you know they're being sent as soon as your post is read. Please do take advantage of this forum to vent whenever you need to. I've found that taking about these things isn't particularly desirable social conversation, so at least here you can talk with those who understand.

Jazzgirl, that's a great idea about the dress. I bought the only one just like it, but there were similar ones (same design, different fabric), so I'll go back to the store and see what's left and get at least one more. Thanks for the link to the magazine as well--I enjoyed several of the articles, so I'll be on the lookout for it in the future.

[wandacleo]

Jazzgirl Thanks for the link to the magazine. There were some really interesting articles.

Mom has been up and down. Yesterday, I was even able to take her outside for a walk in the street, but today she's back staring into space and wouldn't feed herself so I couldn't take her to daycare. Fortunately, I'm busy with a writing project so I just sit here at the table with her. There was an interesting small article in the Caregiver magazine about how important it is to learn patience, and boy is that the truth. The more patient I am, the less stress I have (especially since impatience is pretty much a wasted emotion with Alzheimer's!)

I have to admit to feeling a wee bit sad that a St. Louis concert is posted and I won't be able to go--although I'll buy tickets for my daughter. Since it's in the middle of the week, I can't really justify going for a day because I couldn't see my grandkids. I doubt they'd appreciate a trip for Clay that omitted them!! LOL. Anyhow, my caregiver is staying while I got to LV, so I don't think she'd want to do it again so soon--she finds it exhausting. (No kidding!)

(Moan, piss, groan.)

[YSRN]

Yay, my sister moved back to her home. The ex-husband to be got a place of his own so she took her daughter and went home until the house sells. Phew, what a summer that was. I will admit though, I was getting kinda attached to being called "Father" by my teenage niece, even if it wasn't always meant endearingly. LOL!

to all of you!

[jmh123]

YAY!! So glad to hear that you have your driveway (and your peaceful home life) back, and that your sister and niece have their home back too.

[wandacleo]

I've just come to whine, so feel free to ignore me. I've had the most hellish two weeks. Mom's condition has worsened, so I got a referral to the home Hospice program and the nurses turned her down!!! One of them actually said that she "could live for years!" (She's NINETY-EIGHT!!). Apparently, if you have Alzheimer's disease, you have to be completely incontient, bed ridden, and unable to speak (I guess gibberish counts) for Hospice services. I tried to explain that she has heart failure, among other things, but since the doctor hadn't written it on the form, tought luck.

Since then, I've had to call the fire department twice to pick her up off the floor, she's been incontinent most of the time (but not ALL) and changing the bed is hell because she kicks and fights and thinks I'm trying to molest her when I wash her. I'm so exhausted. In addition, a lesion on her arm ulcerated, and she developed a MRSA infection and is on antibiotics.

I somehow strained the muscles in my arm, and I'm covered with bruises from being hit.

Let's see, is there anything else I can whine about?? SHIT!!!!

Oh, yes, my diet is totally screwd because of stress eating. I made carrot cake cupcakes and pretended they were a vegetable.

Two little bright notes:

The person who takes care of her a few hours a week insists that I'm to go to LV and she will manage. Her husband is an RN and works evenings, so she said if she has a problem, she'll call him and make him come to help and one of my other friends volunteered to be on call to help as well. Thank God for friends.

My friend Carol's friend works for a DIFFERENT Hospice and called and said she'll come out and do a free evaluation to see if she can get Mom on Hospice so I can get some help.

[Guest Toots]

Well shit damn and fuck wandacleo I don't think that qualifies for whining, whining is petty shit for beginners and you are way past that stage. I honestly don't know how you can stay sane and handle all of that. Be careful you don't contract that MRSA infection, you sure don't need anymore problems.

Heart failure and age 98 are a lethal combination...hopefully she and you won't have to suffer much longer. GAWD that must be hard for you!! I'd be smoking the cupcakes.

Hope you do get to go the Las Vegas because if anyone needs it you are that one.... :F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Gibby]

Oh, geez, Wanda, what a shame that the hospice agency wouldn't take your mother! I have a few ideas, since I've set up a number of patients with hospice from our hospital. You may have already contacted the Dr. to ask that all of your mother's conditions be listed on the referral form. If not, have the Dr. document everything to give the best chance at being accepted. Once you have more documentation, try another hospice agency. My experience is that hospice agencies vary in their interpretations of what's appropriate for hospice.

I'm soooooo glad you're coming to Vegas! You deserve a break, girl. :F_05BL17blowkiss: