Friends in trouble

[Couch Tomato]

Thank you all for the kind words. My grandson went back into rehab today so hopefully it will work this time. He's been in and out but it has to kick in soon. He's young so time is on his side.

Everybody has a story and it's nice to hear them even tho it's sometimes hard to tell them.

Good luck! I hope this one is the charm.

Hey Atinal - thanks for the inspirational story. As for the Clay fan board thing..I think I'll hold that off to date number 2. Heee. I do plan to go to a neutral location like a restaurant. One thing I remember my old friend saying to me is that she is about to go on her first vacation ever. That is just so incomprehensible to me. I was a travel person BEFORE Clay - it just adds so much to life. I'm really glad she appears to be on the right road.

[playbiller]

Well, I saw my friend that I started this with finally today and we have a date for next week, we will see how that goes. Apparently she and her husband have come to some kind of understanding about money and her right to the earnings, which I won't post because it is not interesting or neccessary but her support requires her to be there for weekends and will be family oriented things with their kids and grandkids. She knows there is a spare bedroom in my house and our dogs get along, so that is covered.

As to addictive behavior, my only deep experience is with a valium/alcohol adict. I did learn that while you can't make people get help, sometimes there is a tipping point where you can have an effect to just give a little push - maybe like renting Lost Weekend and playing that along with a video of My Friend Bill. ANd you can say, that AA is interesting and say Let's go and see what it is about, I will tell them I am the alcoholic and you can see what they do to me'. I am not the only fool who used that ploy. The big thing here is they have to be ready, if they are ready, you can give a little shove. Even when they are ready, there will probably be slips. You just have to not give up when they are slips, just accept them. I remember that AlAnon pushed the idea that you can't save anyone if you drown first, so you must save yourself first. It is hard sometimes, it's not tough love, it is love with a certain distance.

[Guest Toots]

Play....glad you and your friend have re-connected.

Good sage advice! Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves.

[Couch Tomato]

Play....glad you and your friend have re-connected.

Good sage advice! Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves.

Me too Play. Let us know how it goes.

Well tomorrow is the day. I meet up my child hood friend. I'm going to pick her up at her house and then take her to lunch. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Weird feeling. I'll let you know how it goes.

[Couch Tomato]

Well, I went and picked up my old high school friend. I was nervous but the moment I saw her all nerves left. We had a good time. She wanted to go shopping - sign right there that we're different. I told her I don't even go to the malls for my mama heh. Anyway, we ate lunch, talked a lot, caught up on a lot of our lives..went shopping. It was funny to be walking along and then she'd suddenly say..well when I was in jail.. heee. But we decided to stay in touch..in fact we'll be walking the lake once a week. We'll see how that goes.

[Guest Toots]

Well, I went and picked up my old high school friend. I was nervous but the moment I saw her all nerves left. We had a good time. She wanted to go shopping - sign right there that we're different. I told her I don't even go to the malls for my mama heh. Anyway, we ate lunch, talked a lot, caught up on a lot of our lives..went shopping. It was funny to be walking along and then she'd suddenly say..well when I was in jail.. heee. But we decided to stay in touch..in fact we'll be walking the lake once a week. We'll see how that goes.

Glad you had a good time!

[atinal]

Couchie, glad you had a good time with your old friend.

Play, you sound like a good and suportive friend, your friend is lucky to have you.

[playbiller]

Thanks, I could be a better friend, I do go periods of time without calling people. - referring to a long post, deleted before posting so no one knows - heh.

With children, parents often think they have gone wrong but after a certain age, peer pressure is more influential that any adult. I had tried to explain this to another friend to no avail. I am not sure but I do believe may her son had a hrrifying accident and killed his girlfriend driving drunk and without a license. I say think because he came and told me a story about an accident and how horrible the guy was who was driving and now 10 years later, he still does not drive or indicate he will ever have a license, he just has to ask people to drive him where he can't get a bus or afford a cab. I don't know why he knocked on my door and told me the story, I had not seen him for years. His mother always changes the subject and I do not want to pry in something that cannot be changed.

I read a while ago the most important thing you can do for a child is influence who they choose for friends, but that is not always possible in the rebelious age. You do the best you can and try and not blame yourself. Some of the nicest kids fall hard, you can only do the best you can and hope.