Jump to content

Parenting special kids


Ansamcw

Recommended Posts

jmh is under 5 foot tall? Geez, if we ever do get a chance to meet, we'll be the Mutt & Jeff of the fandom (as a person who gets cussed out a LOT when I get close seats to Clay shows, being that I'm almost 6 foot tall!).

luckiest1, thank you for keeping us updated on your son. I'm so glad they've FINALLY were able to give you a diagnosis. If you need any help finding more information too, don't forget that I have access to some good medical databases. Just PM me if you need anything else!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would like to join the 5 foot tall club!

jmh my mum told me when I was 5 yrs old and crying because the kids were calling me names for being so small to tell them " I am not shrimpy , I am petite! and thats a good thing for a lady!" I get a laugh now about how funny I must have looked, arching my eyebrows, saying my piece, and walking off with my head held high!

{{{luckiest}}} :F_05BL17blowkiss: I hope you and your son get the results you need.

I have had a few talks with my younger son lately about the kids teasing him for being so short. Even though being short doesn't worry me I know it is different for boys. It just breaks my heart to see my happy go lucky sweet little boy realise that sometimes people are just nasty for the sake of it, or jealousy or whatever. I do feel like smacking a few of them but since that is frowned upon we have been working out comebacks for him to say. The best is "How long did it take you to think that one up? Ages ,I bet" It might not help the situation but it gives him some power. I hope there is a big growth spurt in store for him but since I am 5' and his Dad is 5'9" ( and the giant of his family) I don't think he will end up a six footer!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Edited to say......all is well, we begin treatment next week. :)

ausdon and any other parent out there who has a child of unusually short stature.....I wish I had insisted a few years back that we see an endocrinoligist and get things checked out. Looking now at his growth on the curve, he started really dropping off the chart around age 12 - 14. I used to think, too, that a growth spurt must be coming! It just never did, and now we find out that there was a medical reason behind it. They estimate that with treatment, he may grow 6 more inches, but without, he would most likely only have grown another inch or two at best. His body has just stopped producing growth hormone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Terrific Luckiest. One barrier at a time.

We received good news this weekend. My youngest son who has been job hunting for two years accepted and received an offer on Friday. He started today but I don't expect to hear from him as he is quite private. Because ADHD adults usually have self esteem issues, I was quite happy to hear that the man who hired him went over the reasons he selected my son over the other eleven qualified candidates.

He won't be finished with his graduate degree until December so I'm a little concerned that he is biting off more than he can chew but he is very bright so I'll be quiet and chew my fingernails a little.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fear, how great for your son! That is good news. Thanks for sharing.

My son managed to pass all his first sememster grade 11 courses (English just by the skin of his teeth and the graciousness of the teacher). This sememster he has 3 easy courses (Guitar Music, Auto shop and Wood shop) and Math. I found out the other day he is already failing math. I've spoken with the Resource department about it, and they recommend he get a tutor. I am not sure how well that would work, unless the tutor was familiar with ADHD kids and also LD kids. He says he doesn't understand some of the math, which is unusual - the problem we usually have is that he understands everything, he just doesn't have the focus to get it all done, and he doesn't have the self-discipline and the organizational skills to complete all homework and assignments on time. So at this point I'm trying to sit with him every night, and help. Last night was a bust - he brought the books home but did not write the homework assignment down, and said he had no idea which pages and questions he had to do. So I suggested he go in early this morning and ask the teacher and try to get as much done before class as possible. I am not sure he'll actually do it, though. *sigh*

He had to pick his grade 12 courses the other day, and he was upset to find out that grade 12 math is a recommended course if he plans to go to community college for auto mechanics.

In other news, the needles are going well. Last night, both he and I forgot all about it, and we only remembered this morning. But that's ok, he only has to take them 6 days out of 7, and while Saturday is usually the day he takes off, we'll just switch it this week. It's becoming routine! I guess that's a good thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm looking for any advice I can get regarding my son. He turned 4 in November, so he was supposed to start JK last Sept, but he wasn't completely potty trained so we kept him home for the fall ( he went to nursery school 2 mornings a week) and he mastered bathroom stuff, and started JK in January.

I've heard so many things about 'fall boys'- they have a hard time in school because they're slower to mature than girls. That sounds like my son. He has no interest in holding crayons, pencils, markers. When he does he wants to grab them with his fist, instead of holding them properly with his fingers. We're trying to use a pencil grip to show him where his fingers are supposed to go. Books, unless they're filled with dinosaurs or construction vehicles, are of no interest him.

He's has speech delays and goes to speech therapy, but his progress is very slow. People who don't know him well have a hard time understanding him. He lacks confidence in his talking because people are always asking him to say stuff over.

I feel badly for him. He seems 'young' for his age, emotionally and socially, and I can't help but worry about him sometimes. At school the he's been evaluated (as much as they can in JK) and it's been noted that he's delayed in speech and fine motor control, but at this point the plan is to 'wait and see' how he progresses over the year.

I would love any thoughts or advice people have.

thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you had his hearing checked? My quite bright grandson was regarded as stupid and slow and was supposed to repeat kindergarten - until he got hearing aids for his partial deafness and adderal for his ADHD.

he did not hear words correctly, so of course could not speak correctly.

Also, he had another birth challenge - his eyes were not "fastened" properly, the muscles and nerves were a bit jumbled up. He saw everything double - but had no way of knowing that was not right, much less the way to describe it. We only noticed when he was tired, one eye would alarmingly stay waaaaay down. Plus he looked at the TV sideways.

All surgically fixed now, but it sure seemed to others that he was slow, until we caught his problems and fixed them.

Thank goodness for the Florida children's insurance plan.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

heinz, my youngest (the bagpipes kid, LOL) was delayed in potty training and motor skills, too. I held him out of JK just like you are doing, and opted for a half day YMCA program a few times a week instead. When he started regular Kindergarten, we had difficulties with his inability to focus and his tendency to disrupt the class, as well as what turned out to be a colour deficiency (he sees yellow and red but has difficulty with other colours). It was quite a struggle with the teachers up until grade 4 when we finally got him diagnosed with ADHD and started him on medication. I remember having a one-on-one with the Kindergarten teacher, and getting her to agree that a resource teacher would remove him from class 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the kids, so he could get his snowsuit on and his bag packed before the hallway got filled with distractions. Sometimes you just have to suggest what you think he might need because the teacher may not be thinking along the same lines as you. I have been told over and over that if they think of him as a "December baby" he fits more with what they expect of a child his age, more so than the July baby that he really is.

So really, the only advice I can give you is to trust your gut and remember that you know him better than any doctor or teacher does. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone convince you that you are over reacting or anything like that. Some kids need a lot of advocacy to make sure they get the education they need and deserve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In addition to addressing the developmental issues, maybe find things that he is good at and give him lots of opportunities to do them and be rewarded for doing them well. Sometimes with school starting, all the emphasis goes on the basics--and while they are hugely important, kids do have differing abilities and different rates of development, and I'm positive there are things that he is great at and really enjoys doing, even if those things don't "count" in school. He can keep up his self-esteem by being able to succeed at the things that he is good at.

I watched my friend who has a severely autistic son do this with his boy. He takes great pride in the boy's ability to name every kind of airplane, for instance, or in whatever highly focused interest he might get, and he shares these interests with him and talks about them to others as well with great pride, even though he'll never get a better grade in 2nd grade classes for them. He advocates for him like the dickens in school too, so that he can succeed in the classroom, but he really delights in the kid's uniqueness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

{{{{ Heinz }}}}

I have a son born at the end of October. The schooling system is different here of course. He was supposed to start pre-school (non-compulsory) in the Jan. after he turned four but I had my doubts as to whether he could sit still long enough for anything and the day care teachers were saying his speech wasn't up where it should be. He was immature compared to the other kids.

We kept him out until the next year and I am so glad we did. It hasn't been all plain sailing especially socially. We had a pre school teacher suggest Aspergers.It makes me so mad today that I lost sleep for months over that stupid woman who shouldn't bandy around words like that unless she is qualified to do so. Her classroom was chaotic and over stimulating, something which I have since found out doesn't suit a lot of kids, esp. boys.

Any way he is 13 now and doing just fine. Over the years I have learned how to "read" the teachers. Like any other job, some you will like ,some not so much. In grades 4 & 5 he had a lovely, sensible teacher who seemed to actually like him and could see his good points. She told me that she had been teaching for more than 20 years and had taught a few kids just like my son. She said he was very bright and a "lateral thinker". He did not follow the same thought processes as the other kids but would get to the answer another way, or come up with ideas completely out of the scope of most kids.

She also said that primary school would not necessarily be the place for him to shine and that he would find his niche later, maybe in high school or university or even later, when people come together without that "group mentality". I sort of feel that my own best days started after school ended so I can understand that.

Well he started high school this year and so far so good. Actually the last year or so of primary school he was happy, had a couple of friends, and did OK academically.

Hope this post wasn't too long winded but I understand the worry you must be going through. Best of Luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heinz, I didn't mean to imply my grandson was now "okay" - he goes to a charter school that specializes in ADHD kids - each kid has a carrel, not just a desk, etc. He is missing out on some of the social, sports, and arts benefits of a regular school, but then again no one screams at him (yep) or labels him a troublemaker just because he generally has not got an attention span.

He just had a triple whammy - partial deaf, quite marked ADHD, and vision problems. It was easier for the school to label him dumb and disruptive.

Since a parent who is a lawyer successfully sued the school system for not giving her son teaching aid they had promised, our school system is QUITE helpful - once a parent has convinced a teacher there is a problem to be evaluated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let us know how it goes, heinz!

My son had his regularly scheduled psychiatrist appt yesterday, and it went well. I have noticed quite the change in him over the last few weeks....I'm not sure how much of it to attribute to the growth hormone, and how much to the change in the weather (more spring-like days than not), but he's got more energy lately, and he isn't holing himself up in his room as much as he has been doing for the past 6 months or so. He's been out and about lately, skateboarding with friends, going to the mall with friends, etc. So we talked about that a bit with the doctor yesterday, and we talked about the possibility of weaning him off the anti-depressants this summer, if things continue to go well. He also was weighed and measured and discovered that while he's only grown a quarter inch this time, he's lost 2 pounds! That is a big motivator, for him. So my fingers are crossed that the HGH continues to help him and he agrees to continue with the therapy for at least a year. We go for a follow up with the endocrinologist in May.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suspect this story has been circulating for a while but I have only just read it for the first time and, of course, I thought of Clay because it's basically about inclusion, and what a gift THAT is to everyone involved, not just to the child who is at the center of this heartwarming story.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been t he end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman' s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That story made me cry. I truly wish that all people reacted in the same way as those children, but unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are still very ignorant or intolerant. Currently I work with DD adults in residential settings and I take them out into the community. Thankfully, most people have been very accepting of them. But I am also currently a returning student so that I can become an elementary school teacher, so when I read this at the OFC, I had to check it out. I'll post link to one of the articles on this incident, but the gist of it is that a teacher humiliated a 5 year old boy with special needs, who is being checked for possible Aspergers, by making him stand in front of his class so all the students in his class could tell him why they disliked him, then she had them vote on whether he could stay in the classroom. By a majority, these students voted him out of the classroom. I understand why the students did it, at 5, most aren't the most generous or tolerant anyway. The person I blame is the teacher. This goes against everything that I am being taught, as well as everything that I believe in. Here's the link:

http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/may/27/st-...udent-voted-ou/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow. That just seems so wrong, on so many levels.

And this is the way to teach tolerance? Sheesh.

justclay, it sounds like you're doing a great job with your work...and good luck with your schooling....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So ds is almost completely weaned off the anti-depressants now. A week to go, and it's going well. Tomorrow we have another consultation with the endocrinologist. It's a 6 month check up, and hopefully another 6 month commitment to taking the growth hormones. Last night ds says to me, as he's taking his needle, "It's almost over, right?" Eeeep, I didn't argue with him, as it was his birthday and all, so I just said "we'll talk about it Friday". I so want him to continue with this therapy for at least another 6 months. Please cross your fingers that the doctors & nurses can get him to see the light tomorrow at the hospital. Looks like it's just going to be me taking him. Last time his dad came (under threat of death LOL) but this time he's too busy.

ETA: Wheeeeeeeeee! That was the easiest and best appointment we've had to date. The new doctor is great, very easy to talk to and personable. Ds agreed without hesitation to another 6 months, and was mightily pleased to find out he's grown another inch (total of 3 inches in 6 months so far)! All Is Well. :wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...