Totally

At least a couple of people here have accused me in not very pleasant or respectful words of "stereotyping" Clay because I believed he was gay before he came out. I said very clearly that I always respected everyone's position to take him at his word who did. I would appreciate even a little of the same respect. I never made a decision that Clay didn't deserve to self-identify. I simply believed what I believed. I absolutely couldn't see him as a straight man by sometime a couple of years ago, no matter how hard I tried to, and believe me - I had enjoyed thinking of him as straight. It wasn't a matter of making a decision to see him as heterosexual or homosexual. It was a matter of what I saw, what I believed. You can't force yourself to believe something that you simply don't believe. I wasn't on a mission to get everyone I knew to believe what I believed or to OUT Clay or to hurt Clay or to hurt anyone else. I thought Clay was gay and closeted and would never come out. I accepted that and thought that Clay had every right to live his life the way he wanted to and present himself to the world whatever way he wanted to. I also knew that I didn't for sure know anything. I just wanted for Clay to be happy and successful and sing and perform. I'm not saying I told you so to anyone. I believe I said that I completely understood and respected anyone who believed Clay was straight. I believed Clay was straight for a long time, because he had told us he was - until I just couldn't any longer. I don't go around wondering about people's sexualities and judging them for it. I have straight friends and gay friends. I've never had a reason to have to guess and it's never mattered to me. For me (and for many other people within this fandom), it was impossible not to wonder about Clay's sexuality over the past few years. I don't think anyone should be judged right now for whatever conclusion they came to about Clay's sexuality. I think that right now should be a time for compassion and for healing, both for the fans and for Clay, not accusations and judgment and harsh words.

Hey Couchie! I know lots of fans who were pissed with her who have no issues with Clay coming out at all. It was her decision to play fan police at a fan board that they had issue with. And I disagree that she has as much right to be a fan as anyone else does. She is Clay's executive producer, long-time close friend, and mother of his child. When she "speaks", many people assume she is speaking for Clay - which could cause problems for Clay. It wasn't until Clay posted today and made it clear that he doesn't condone telling someone that the way they are thinking is wrong or preaching to them, that it was clear that Jaymes was acting on her own yesterday and not with Clay's blessing. I was very relieved to read Clay's post. As for me believing that Clay was gay all of these years, I've heard many people say that wanted to respect how Clay self-identified. I can understand and respect that. I've also read some fans saying that now that he's come out, everything makes so much more sense and that they feel that they know him so much better. That's the way I felt when I decided he was gay. It was like a light-bulb moment for me - everything just made so much more sense. The puzzle pieces fit together, and a man who was a complete puzzle to me and didn't make sense suddenly did make sense. I felt I understood him finally. Ever since then, when he did something that didn't make much sense to others, it made sense from my perspective. So it wasn't that I felt a need to proclaim to the world that Clay was gay, but I absolutely couldn't pretend to myself or make myself believe that he was straight, whether I thought it was the right thing to do or not. And it wasn't about stereotypes or mannerisms or clothing choices or any of that. It was about life choices, and how he interacted with his friends and what he said in interviews and every little thing. He only made sense to me as a gay man. Also, I never thought that he seemed to be trying to hide it or appeared to be trying to live the life of a straight man. Once you accepted that he was gay, it seemed so very obvious that he was and that he wasn't even trying to hide it. Even so, I completely agree that if all you look at is the words he used in interviews those first couple of years, he did mislead us and intended to mislead us. But I understood why he needed to do that. If you're not ready to come out to your family or your family's friends, how can you come out to the world. I have the utmost compassion for him and respect for him for making the decision to come out now. Hi CG! , Yes, a little thoughtfulness and maybe counting to 10 might have been a good idea. Or maybe, just staying away and letting the fans hash it out without her.

Hey Gals! I haven't posted here in a while although I come over and read every once in a while. I've got some good friends over here and have always wanted to feel part of the FCA family, but to be honest, had a hard time being active on a board where I felt I had to pretend that Clay was straight when I believed deep down that he was gay (not that there were many places where I could be honest about that opinion, lol). So I came back over thinking that maybe now it would be easier for me to be more active here. I'm very happy that Clay has decided to be honest with his fans and lead a genuine life. And I'm very happy for Clay that he's a dad. Seeing him with Parker both yesterday and this morning pulled at my heartstrings. I think he will be a wonderful dad. As for what Jaymes did on the OFC yesterday, I'm going to have to agree with Playbiller and Claygasm, which might seem odd considering that I clearly have no issues with Clay coming out and not even any need for any processing time, since I did that back in late 2005 and 2006. I think there are many people understandably struggling with this news, who legitimately need and deserve time to process it, and who were doing just that. Then Jaymes comes in there and starts calling any fans who were struggling homophobes. Not fair. I don't care that she says she was just talking to 2% of the fandom - if she was, then why the need for the rant? Totally uncalled for. Clay DID mislead the fandom. I may have decided within myself that he was gay a long time ago, but I have to respect those that decided to "take him at his word". I think Jaymes did a lot of damage to the fandom yesterday and caused Clay to lose fans that he would not otherwise have lost (not that she cares - I truly thinks she could care less about his fans). She created rifts and sides where there was beginning to be healing and understanding. Preaching and scolding never accomplish anything, and not only did Jaymes do that, she was damn rude about it. I thought her "rant" was OTT, and I highly doubt that Clay would have approved of it. I sure hope not. I would be really disappointed if Clay would treat his fans that way. Clay talked about Patience and knowing that his fans would need time and that emotions would run the gamut. Clay asked that there be no editing for at least two weeks in the OFC so that fans could work thru their feelings. Then Jaymes comes in and starts giving gold stars to those posters whose attitudes she likes and being very condescending to those whose posts she doesn't like. It seemed very judgemental and obnoxious to me and not at all conducive to letting the fans work thru their feelings. She's known that Clay was gay probably from the time she met him or at least for a very long time. Many of his fans have known for a couple of days. Don't they deserve some time to deal with the news and the fact that they've been defending and believing in "his word" for five years? I agree with CG that she doesn't belong on the boards. She is NOT a fan. She is his closest friend and the mother of his son. And I don't believe she's coming on the board as a fan. Perhaps she was very hormonal yesterday and lonely and bored. I dunno. But what she did was not productive or helpful to Clay. She took a day when we should have been focused on Clay and the interview and turned the focus onto her. It didn't sit well with me, and I know many fans who feel the same. I think it's interesting that after years of feeling rejected by a large contingent of the fandom for believing that Clay was gay that now I am feeling protective of their right to have time and compassion in dealing with and processing this news. But I am. Perhaps I know what it's like to be told what I am supposed to think and feel, and I don't like that. ETA - Or what Clay posted. I love that man.

Hey Everyone! Sorry I haven't been here. No good excuses. Just life. But I thought I'd check in on this most important day, and saw my friends posting. I miss you all, so thought I'd post and tell you so. Claygasm, I never let principles get between me and my Clay. For instance, if I were in an elevator with Clay and he said, "Wanna come up to my room with me and play "Find Waldo"?", I wouldn't let the fact that I've been happily married (and completely faithful) for close to 25 years get in the way." LOL! Yeah, in my dreams. But I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm taking my son to his piano lesson during the concert tonight, so I'll have to check in later. Hugs to you all!

Karen Eh You crack me up. I'd love to sit around that camp fire with you and try to keep a straight face -I'd fail miserably. Hee. Your dog is beautiful - oh, the indignities! And while you and Muski suffer bruises and splinters while naked dancing, I have no such problem...at all. Cindilu You and I have the same taste in movies! Oh and Toots Please don't come after me....I'm a terrible wimp, and I promise, I really was kidding.

Ah Muski, "Tears in Heaven". One of my favorite songs of all time....that and Lover All Alone, hee. Started to come in earlier and post that anyone who wouldn't swear on a Bible that LAA was their favorite song of ALL TIME should be kicked out of the fandom - but of course, I was only kidding. Then I worried that no one else would think I was funny. Of course now I've said it anyway. We have a saying in our family - "Am I funny because I'm funny or am I funny because I think I'm funny?" I think half the time Clay's funny, it's because he thinks he's funny, because he DOES think he's funny....And that makes him somehow very, very funny....and very, very sexy too. Hi Farouche! I've read some very wise and thoughtful posts in here over the last two or three days and have come to appreciate this board all the more. I'm so impressed with the pervailing tone of inclusiveness, reason, and positiveness/kindness that I find here and appreciate the desire to stay away from old fanwars/negativity while not censuring conversation. You go girls!

Bookwhore - About Kimmel last September. Many, many fans had flown in from all over the place because there was both a CD signing at Virgin Records as well as Clay's appearance at Kimmel, where Clay did a 5 song mini-concert at the end. There was some chaos with the lines because some people were standing in the Virgin Records line, while others were holding space in line across the street at Kimmel. It didn't work very well logistically. Bottom line is that not only did a large number of people who had internet "tickets" from Kimmel and who had been standing in line much of the day not get wristbands from the Kimmel people in the mid-afternoon when they finally handed them out, but not even all of the people who were given wrist bands got into the show later on. And we all believed that a wrist band guaranteed you a spot in the show. Those of us given a wrist band were told to leave and come back at 5pm, so we did. We came back, got in another line, and then when it came down to seating us, too many VIPs showed up (DUH - don't they know that Clay fans ALWAYS show up?) and I believe 18 people, including Muski and Claygasm and many of my good friends didn't get in. It was devastating to those who didn't get in, and to some of us who got in whose friends were left standing outside. We were confused and angry and disappointed. Most of them had flown in from out of town for Kimmel and that made it all the worse. Some had flown from as far away as Toronto and Philly. Fortunately, at least everyone got to see the mini-concert, which was wonderful, because it was outdoors. Clay sang his heart out. But the sting of the disappointment of not getting into the show didn't disappear immediately and colored everything. The fact is one can never be sure of getting into TV show tapings because they always give out more tickets than they have room for, assuming that many won't show. It's like overbooking a flight.

Couchie - Wow. Guess you either didn't go to Kimmel last fall, or didn't end up irrevocably scarred by it. Hugs Muski and Claygasm and all the others who still burst into spontaneous tears over that experience. Some of us still mistakenly think that we have to spend the night at these things to get in, when clearly that is NOT the case. Oh well.

I was there ALL day, which was a little bit more than I bargained for - saw Regis also. I didn't think the hair was so bad - really didn't think about it much at all, but then I had a different perspective than some, since I was sitting behind Clay. But I was very close to him, since I was in the first row. I also could see the big screen and he turned around quite a bit. I thought he looked great. Although I'm trusting some of the reports that the bangs didn't look wonderful - too much product and seperated and stiff. Stiff is not always a bad look for Clay, if you know what I mean, but when it comes to the bangs, I prefer softer.

Couchie, I kept looking for you in line yesterday - we got there at 7:30am. But I didn't see you. I finally saw you once we were all seated. I was sitting in the first row behind Clay, staring at his fine butt the whole time, lol. You were to my left, holding that sign you loved so much. Wish I'd seen you in line so that I could have said howdy! :F_05BL17blowkiss: Wasn't he just AMAZINGLY SEXY AND ADORABLE?

Oh my Lord, those toes! Why do I find those so.....lustily sexy? Why do they make me want him bad? *like I don't always want him bad* I didn't know he was barefoot in Frisco. He should make decisions to not wear clothing on other parts of his body more frequently. Muski I did get your phone message, and very much want to talk. To say life has been crazy recently is an understatement, but I should be able to talk soon - maybe even tonight if you have time. My company is leaving within the hour. Hugs.

Oh mah goodness! No way can I keep up with this thread, LOL! I have been trying for days and days now to catch up and I just clicked on the new thread after finally finishing the last one to find 32 pages!!!!! Given that I've got company and can't spend all day reading, I'm going to just post 'cause I've been meaning to for the last few days, but keep putting it off trying to catch up. I wanted to thank all of you who sent hugs my way many days ago when I shared that my daughter and her fiancee had called off their wedding. Yesterday was the ex-wedding day and we spent the day with family at the San Diego zoo. She is doing well. They have completely broken up now, and we are all greatly relieved. He was NOT the right guy. I've been reading many of the discussions here in the bits of time each day I have found to read. Wish I were able to keep up so that I could weigh in on them. Maybe soon. I'm supposed to go to "Fifth Grader" on Tuesday, but a dear friend just lost his battle with cancer and we don't know when the funeral is going to be, so right now my plans are up in the air. But if I'm there, I'll look for you guys. I know I'll recognize Couchie!!!!!! Hugs

Thanks Cindylu! I don't have a CH key. Been getting my clack from CU, but I will look for Scruffy's montages - I know I enjoyed them early this year. Yes, Gibby, sometimes being a parent is not fun at all. It was more fun when they were younger and their problems were littler. I've been sitting at home (although the gym would be a better place than the couch!) watching Clack with my headphones on, and my kids have been laughing at me because I am giggling and laughing so much. He just cracks me up. It's been nice to have something/someone who makes me laugh at a time when real life can make me cry.

I've been enjoying looking at the gorgeous pics on here and reading the recaps, and I'm SO, SO jealous of those of you who were at the Florida concerts. It seems that Clay was at his best there. We've been going thru a family crisis here - my daughter and her fiancee called off their wedding that was supposed to take place this coming Saturday a week ago. The decision was a good one, but there's been a lot of emotional drama going on here, as you might imagine. It's been hard to focus on much else. As for my thoughts on the tour, turns out I loved the TV medley. Clay singing the Perfect Strangers theme song was one of my favorite parts of the concert. I played that for my husband and he said, "No wonder he made it thru!" I also loved his voice on so many of those songs. The "Classics" medley never really grew on me, as much as I tried to enjoy it, but I loved everything else so much that it didn't matter. My favorites (other than Perfect Strangers) were MOAM, LAA, and perhaps most of all Clay, the comedienne. He really is funny, sometimes more than others, but he had me rolling on the floor so many times. I will never forget Pala, Flat Clay in the window and Clay singing WISYS to it. I hope someone puts together another Best of the Banter CD. I enjoyed the one that was put together from last year's Christmas show very much, and he was even funnier this tour. "I think I'm kind of funny." You are, Clay. You are.

I'm so happy to hear that tonight's concert was so enjoyable! Can't wait to hear more about it! How was the attendance? It was so wonderful to meet some of you these past few days - waves toCouchie and Ansa! And it was great to see you, Claygasm and Muski! I was in no shape to go to a fourth concert in a row tonight. After a long drive home last night, I got up early this morning, took my ten year old to a church play that I had missed Friday night (Bad Mother that I become when Clay gets too close to me), and then came back home and crawled back in bed. I still haven't recovered from the past few days. I'm so thankful that I got to go to the first three Southern Cal concerts. I enjoyed the Greek, but Pala will remain one of my very favorite concerts in my memory - up there with the Charlotte NAT. And it reminded me why I love him so much (and I needed some reminding after not having been to a full concert since Novemeber of 2005. He is an amazing performer when he's ON, and boy was he ON Friday night in Pala. He was so funny - just naturally, spontaneously funny. And he was beautiful, adorable, and sang purty too. I'm in a happy place again. I'm even over the teeth.

Hey everybody! I'm looking forward to seeing some of you at the Southern Cal concerts! I'll give my cell phone number to Claygasm so hopefully we can meet up somehow down here. And if you guys are coming to the Pala Pre-party BAF fundraiser, I'll be there too. Talking about the BAF and the Pala fundraiser, I know Muski posted their website and info about it last week in here, but I was asked if I would post the following about their new "Dawg Tags". I know the people who have been working on this Party/fundraiser, and they sure have gne the extra mile to have great merchandise and food and auction items there. See you soon! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Thank you for all of the kind words, Gibby, Couchie, Ansamcw, and anyone else I missed. :F_05BL17blowkiss: I think both of these quotes are from Couchie - I know he probably will, and he can think about anything he would like to while he's singing (just like my husband can think about anything he wants to while we're having sex), but he doesn't need to tell his audience that he's not really focused on the music but more concerned about what he's having for dinner. I remember when Billy Joel told his fans that he was bored singing Piano Man and usually thought about his dinner when he was singing that song, I thought "Why would he tell us that?" And then his daughter repeated it on JK when Clay was there - maybe that was where he got the idea to start thinking about dinner during his performance, lol. I think Clay's songs come alive in concert in a way that many of them just don't in their studio recorded versions. I know that there were a number of songs on MOAM that I couldn't grab onto that after the IT and NAT, I just loved. Clay's performs live with such a passion that the songs metamorphize into something really special. For that reason I think it was a mistake for him to wait so long to tour to support this album. Clay needs to support his CDs with lots of live performances of all of the songs, not just one or two being done over and over again on TV shows. Also his TV show performances are never the same as his concerts. But I'm so glad he's doing it now! That's to say that I'm really excited about seeing them live - I think it will make the whole album come to life for me!

BWAH!!!!! Thank you. Hi Claygasm and Muski - (yes I got your PM and have replied to it)

I keep wanting to post in here, but keep trying to catch up first - the second not conducive to the first, I'm afraid. I had less than a week at home from our vacation before my GYN sent me to the ER due to a few days of particularly heavy bleeding. Somehow, I ended up in the OR the next morning getting a hysterectomy. This was last Wednesday. I had already the surgery scheduled for later this summer. My doc just decided that we needed to do it immediately. So I spent a couple of nights in the hospital and have been home recovering these past few days, and I must say - it hasn't been fun! I don't know why I thought it would be, but it has been a lot worse than I expected it to be. And it has interfered with my computer time in a big way! But all we really care about is that it doesn't interfere with my CA concerts! Right? So I just read that tonight is the last night that Clay is going to perform ATD because he has been falling asleep during it. AND that he told the audience last night that he was thinking of what he was going to have for dinner during LAA. WTF? I have been looking forward to hearing and seeing him perform LAA ever since I first heard the song, and all I can say is that he better look like and act like he is into it and not thinking about his dinner. And I think he should also learn that there are some things better left unsaid. Also, perhaps he should have a little snack before the concert so that he's not so hungry by the end of the concert. Whatever, but just don't screw around with LAA, boy! If I sound cranky, blame it on the drugs!

BWAH! Loved your recap of the show, Claygasm. Sounds like Clay better go see that one fast, cause it's not going to be around long. I've been gone on our summer trip to the east coast for the past two and a half weeks. We did a little sight seeing in DC with our ten year old, went to a family wedding in Philly and then spent the rest of our time at our place in RI. Muski visited us there once and went to the Kingston, RI NAT show with me, where we wish we had paid closer attention to Clay's thigh during You've Got a Friend, LOL. Anyway, it was filled with constant socializing and was exhausting as it always is. It ended with the airline trip home from hell - 25 hours door to door. UGH! So Muski, I'm very impressed with little Muski and her phenomenal pitching skills, but when her amazing athletic accomplishments interfere with me getting to see you and you getting to see Clay and us getting to see Clay together.....well, let's just say, I'm disappointed. I hope somehow it all works out so that she and her team have a wonderful experience at Nationals and you still are able to get your butt here for most of the concerts. Hug. And I hope that the rest of you guys who were planning on hanging with Muski still meet up with me - Claygasm knows me. I want to meet you all! I've loved seeing all the pics you have posted here, and reading what recaps I've managed to read in my limited time on line during the last couple of weeks. I must admit that I was a little concerned about the tour after Frisco, but much relieved after everyone I knew who was in Houston was so happy with the Houston concert. I myself am IN LOVE WITH Lover All Alone. I'm sure I'll enjoy the whole concert. But for me, LAA is the gem of the concert. The way he sings it reminds me of the way he sang My Grown Up Christmas List, which I loved, but the words are from his heart and are HIS! And then he is so vulnerable singing it. I can't get enough of watching and listening to the Clack of that song. I'm sorry that I haven't responded to more people's posts, but I think my post has gotten long enough for now. Hugs to everyone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUSKI!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you have a most splendiferous birthday with our boyfriend!!!!!!!! :TourExcite:

Thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes! I've been scarce this week, 'cause we've been vacationing in DC. Got to spend today in lots of traffic trying to get thru awful traffic from DC to Philly where we have a family wedding tomorrow. Then we're heading up to Rhode Island for a little over a week, while the rest of you head to Texas. Sob. Fortunately we have internet there, so I will be waiting with baited breath to hear about it all. Muski So glad you all survived your water heater disaster and are back in your home with hot water again. Hugs. Ansamcw It is so weird seeing my RHT avatar here next to your name. I keep thinking that I have posted, but it's kind of nice too. You're welcome to it. I guess you and I and Couchie will have to keep the home front warm while the rest of them go off to Texas.

Forgive me if this isn't the right place to post this, but I'm leaving in the morning for a two week vacation and don't have time to figure anything out. Eandpmommy from RHT has asked me to post this flyer for a pre-party that is being planned the afternoon of the Pala concert - they will be raising money for the BAF. I know a group of Southern Cals have been putting a great deal of energy into it, and it sounds like it will be a lot of fun!

My understanding of the Jacob "leaving/firing" was that Jacob was trying to squeeze in some gigs in support of a CD he had coming out and some of them interfered in his ability to be where he needed to be for the tour when he needed to be there. For instance, he had a gig in Boston (at some club) on an off-night that would have kept him from being at the location for the next concert that night. And that was against the "rules". So my guess was that Clay told him he couldn't do those gigs, and Jacob was a bit angry about that, thinking that Clay should make an exception about it since Jacob was doing Clay a favor doing this stupid Christmas tour when he had a CD to be promoting. There were also stories about how Jacob's managers were not very supportive of Jacob continuing to be Clay's back-up singer. Some women sat next to them in AC at the JBT and listened to them malign Clay and say that he didn't have anything on Jacob, etc. So when Clay said in his blog that Jacob had made some personal choices, or had left the tour based on personal choices or something like that, I put two and two together - knowing about the gigs that interfered with his ability to be on location when he was supposed to, his CD he was trying to promote, how important his solo career was to him, how he felt or was being told by his managers that he was just wasting his time doing this back-up singer thing for this loser pop star, etc. I imagine Clay told him that he had a choice - to back out of the gigs or to leave the tour. It may have been that many people on the tour, including Angela and Quianna may have felt Clay was being unreasonable and should have made an exception and supported Jacob's solo career. And the ego clashes/ power struggle may have been going on for a long time between them. But Clay made his choice and then Jacob made his choice. Of course, I don't know any of this for sure. I just know some of the surrounding circumstances and have drawn some conclusions that make sense to me.

Macca is Paul McCartney? HA! I've been wondering who the hell this Macca guy is everybody has been talking about! Yes, I live under a rock....with Clay Aiken.