JennaZ

I agree. You know, I have to say, I'm actually impressed with the majority of Clay Nation. I always thought that if Clay came out, the reaction would be much more negative. In fact, a lot of people I thought would really struggle with this have actually been surprisingly supportive. Sure, some of the Christian fundamentalists have abandoned him. And there are all those obsessed with this "He lied, and lied about not lying." But it seems to me that the vast majority have either embraced him, or are struggling but still trying to come to terms with it. Even at the OFC, I think if you really look at it, I think it's actually just a small number of bitter people who just keep posting over and over again. I think the majority support Clay, but so many can't bear the tone that the trolls and haters seem over represented.

I think that posts like Marge's are part of the reason it took so long for Clay to come out of the closet. He had to know that revealing his sexuality would result in this type of massive rejection, and for someone who had been ostracized and rejected all his life (even by his own father), it can't have been easy to set himself up for more. He did lie. He did make a statement that was not accurate. But what saddens me is that some cannot find the compassion to try and understand how hard it must have been in his situation. They aren't even trying to see things from his point of view. I do think that some fans have been over invested in Clay, and that a few, have been particularly invested the idea of him as straight. A few have spent so much time and energy defending him that they suddenly feel foolish for doing so, and so have apparently decided to blame him. They ignore the fact that he never asked them to defend his sexuality. They don't want to admit it, but this is about them than about Clay. It's about their image of who they wanted Clay to be. The OFC is tough to take. I do think that the majority of fans are supportive. However, because Clay has allowed that message board to become a dumping ground of negative emotion, it's become increasingly unpleasant to endure. I understand why he feels that it might be therapeutic for fans to be able to vent. However, as I posted there (before I couldn't take it anymore), I just hope that he realizes that the message board is not representative of the fandom as a whole. But it is good to see that he's back at the stage door.

I suspect this story is already old news to the rest of the world. I would be surprised if any major news organization continues to dig through fan message boards for quotes. Bravo, Ansa! I wish more people got that message.

:thbighug-1: Aww, CG, we'll eventually get back to the fun and frolic. All it'll take is one new juicy piece of Clack. Transitional times are always a little awkward and difficult. This is no exception. Fans are in different places with this news. However, I do think that once we have something that we can all cheer for together, things will be closer to normal. I think this fandom will change a bit. Some will leave. I've no doubt of that. People will have to adjust their dreams for him, alter their fantasies a bit. Perhaps look at him in a different way. However, I also believe it's possible to still swoon when he sings, to still laugh at his jokes and melt when he does something gentle and kind. And though this may be more difficult for some, I really think it's still even possible to continue to lust after him. He's still attractive. Gay people crush on straight celebrities all the time. There's no reason why straight people can't crush on a gay man. It's not as if any of us were likely to romantically involved with him even if he were straight. It may take a while for us to get there, collectively. But I think most of us will get there in the end.

Yes, Clay lied in the Rolling Stone article. But personally, it's not a lie I'm willing to abandon him for, not when the circumstances are such that it would have been very difficult to tell the truth. And I think all the subsequent attempts to avoid the question were really attempts not to have to lie about it again. To me, that counts for something. I don't feel we were owed the truth. That isn't our truth to have. Sexuality is a deeply personal thing, and it was his right to keep it to himself. I realize people feel deceived. However, I believe him when he says he never intended to deceive anyone. I think he just let people believe what they wanted to believe. He allowed people to make assumptions. It's a subtle distinction, but I think it's a relevant one.

I liked Jaymes' post. I do understand how it can feel like she painted with a very broad brush, but I don't think she was aiming it at anyone who was struggling with the news. To me, her primary issues were: 1) condemnation over the fact that Clay had lied in the past and 2) fans feelings of entitlement. I think it's hard for her to understand why the Rolling Stone lie is such a big deal to some people, why some accuse him of being deliberately deceptive, not just then, but afterward. Many don't seem to fully realize how frightening it must be for a gay man to come out, especially in the public spotlight. I suspect she can't fathom why some cannot sympathize with his reasons for staying in the closet, and so she jumped, perhaps too quickly, to homophobia. I understand that not everyone who is struggling is homophobic, and I'd bet she understands that too. I think at heart, it just hurt her to hear her best friend being denounced as a liar. And I think what really got to her, however, was the entitlement. He should have told US. He OWES us. He needs to weep and wail for us, to show us how sorry he is for allowing us to believe he was straight. I think the entitlement burns her more than anything because she knows, first hand, how much he cares about the fans. And so she lashed out. And I'm glad she did. Perhaps her language was a little strong, but so was some of the language used against her. I do feel for those who feel hurt by her comments. However, they were not directed to everyone struggling. She qualified her comments, many times, and stated that 98% of the fans were great. Clay is someone she obviously cares very deeply for. I think it was just hard for her to see fans portraying him as a callous, uncaring liar, when she knew otherwise.

Makes total sense. Me, too. Personally, I don't feel I need to try and re-evaluate his history, either. This is a new beginning for him. I prefer to look forward, not back. ((Scarlett))

Thank you for posting, lajeterfan. I can see how this has been hard for you. I'm glad you were able to work through your feelings. And that you're still going to see him in Spamalot. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Jaymes' post was fantastic. Of course, the people who most need to heed it are the ones who just don't get it. People are so hung up on that Rolling Stone statement he made FIVE YEARS ago. And as I said at the OFC, these assertions that he deliberately misled fans through his words and actions are ridiculous. I don't think he ever tried to deceive people. I think he merely let people believe what they wanted to believe. Fans are the ones who interpreted his behavior as evidence that he was straight. I think his sexuality was always a very big deal to some people, more than they care to admit. I believe Jaymes when she says that Clay is very concerned about his fans, perhaps even more than he should be. It irks me that some insist that they should have been informed before the broader media, or that he somehow owes fans some level of contrition or remorse. The entitlement! People have a right to their shock, grief, or confusion. I do feel for those who are struggling with all of this. But this is his life, with bigger implications for him than for any of us. He should get to set the timetable. Not us.

I loved the whole post, but that encapsulated it all.

Yeah, I've gain a whole new world of respect for Jaymes. I can totally see why she and Clay have become such close friends. The drama at the OFC is kind of getting addicting... How am I going to get any work done?

"Even I don't feel that entitled." HA! Love that. It's the entitlement that gets me, the idea that he OWES us. Jaymes knows this fandom all too well.

Lying about one's sexuality, IMHO, is very different than lying about other things. In this country (and many others), gay people are often hated, ridiculed, and discriminated against. There's a lot of prejudice, a lot of homophobia. Many men are so threatened by homosexuality that they reject anything that might be considered "gay." I really cannot blame Clay for saying he was straight in that Rolling Stone article, especially as it was very early in his career when he was just getting started. Coming from North Carolina, he must have feared the kind of ugly, self-righteous rejection that he knew some people were capable of. But after Rolling Stone, he has been more evasive. He could have continued to lie. Time after time, interviewers demanded an answer, and the easy thing would have been flat out say, "No, I'm straight." Fans have wondered why he never did that. Now we know. I don't think he ever meant to deceive people. I think he merely let fans believe what they wanted to believe. And I think that most of us, even those of us who are OK with his sexuality, really wanted to believe he was straight. But I think that deep in our hearts, a lot of us kind of knew he was probably gay. That may be why the fan reaction, for the most part, is surprisingly supportive. However, I do think there are fans who, for whatever reason, were very invested in the idea of him being straight. Maybe it's because they defended him as straight to other people. Maybe it's because they do have deep-seated feelings about homosexuality that are difficult to dislodge. Maybe it's because they did harbor romantic fantasies that have suddenly become impossible. Perhaps there are reasons which are difficult to articulate or process. Whatever the reason, I do feel for those who are struggling. However, I hope that it isn't the lie that ultimately kills their fandom. Because I don't think that lie was a malicious one. I think it was a defensive one. And now he's told the truth.

It's sad that there are fans who can no longer accept him. I suspect that it was precisely that type of rejection that Clay feared, the type of reaction that many expected most fans to have. However, it seems to me that it is more the exception than the rule. Clay does seem to have much more positive support, not just from fans, but from the media. I would not be surprised if this revelation will bring him far more fans than it loses him.

For me, one of the most gratifying things about this is that I'll bet that certain scumbags (i.e., PH) were eager to watch the fandom explode over this. And I'll bet that the outpouring of support has not been what they expected. Poking the "gay" stick at the fans won't be as fun anymore.

Personally, I think the timing feels organic. It makes sense to me that the birth of his son would give him new perspective. And in a way, I'm glad he didn't use this and his son's birth to publicize his album. Honestly, it might have helped give the album more context, and possibly, more exposure. However, it would have also felt a little...commercial.

With celebrities, I tend to think it's better that they make arrangements with a magazine to display pictures of their children. Keeping them completely from view only encourages the paparazzi to become more aggressive in trying to get the first "exclusive" photos. With this article, Clay can control the environment in which the photos are taken. True, it would be best if the press would leave all celebrity children alone. However, the reality is that people are interested. This way seems less dangerous to me. JMO. Agreed. And this cannot have been easy for her. I would not be surprised if people in her circle or in the industry have judged her for having a child with Clay. But she did it, for herself, I think, as much as for Clay. Their relationship must be very unique, and very special. If Clay's friends said he was straight, I can't blame them, even if they knew he wasn't. They probably felt they were protecting him. I think a lot of us have told lies to protect other people. I would have had less respect for them if they hadn't.

I know what you mean, ausdon. It is a good piece, but it does still feel strange to hear it directly from him. Apparently, he has known for some time. I suspect that will hurt some fans, but I can understand how difficult it must have been for him to declare his sexuality publicly, especially when he was just starting his career. That Rolling Stone article, which was really his primary statement that he was straight, was done right after the finale of American Idol, when he seemed headed for teen idol status. (Remember all those teen magazines? TRL? Seems so long ago.) It must have been very scary to risk losing so much just when things were coming together. However, after that interview, he was never quite so definitive, and in recent years, he's just tried to take the question off the table. If he really wanted to lie, he could have continued to tell the many interviewers who asked, "No, I'm straight." I really believe that he never really meant to deceive anyone. If anything, he mainly let people believe what they wanted to believe. And so many of us, I think, really did want to believe he was straight, even if we knew we'd love him if he weren't. I realize it may take a while, but I hope most fans will be able to come through this on his side. He's a good man, but a human one.

I am happy for him, too. I'm sure there will be some tough times ahead. Some fans will abandon him, and there may be a bit of ridicule. But may also mean that he'll be free to pursue real love, and I hope he does. "Lonely No More" and "Lover All Alone" are achingly lonely songs. I can see him feeling isolated, afraid to engage in relationships which might be exposed. Coming out may allow him to finally find someone right for him. Awww.... What a lovely post from Clay.

Thanks, CG! Hi Couchie! If he's going to be on the cover of People and all over the news, I'm glad he's looking so good! I must confess, I haven't been a huge fan of the long, straight hair. This shorter cut is much more appealing to me, and I'm happy that this is the image that will be going out. And boy, is this story everywhere! Just goes to show that he continues to be newsworthy.

Posted by dancermom at CV: Can't say I blame him. No doubt TMZ and the other paparazzi would have been all over him. I trust he's getting support from the cast of Spamalot. And no doubt, Jerome will let him know that there are still fans there for him. ETA (also via dancermom):

Great post, Claygasm. I do think there will be a certain amount of smirks and "I-told-you-so's" in response to the news. For me, that will be the most annoying thing about it all. But that will pass. Like others, I had always thought there was a possibility Clay might be gay. His statements that he wasn't gay were years ago, when he was younger, just beginning his career, and perhaps unsure or resistant to the idea that he might be gay. In this day and age, and with his background and fandom, it can't have been an easy thing to admit. I am heartened that, on the whole, fan support is stronger than I expected it to be. There have been so many who have seemed almost paranoid about the possibility that he might be gay. I'm sure many are still struggling with the news. I would not be surprised if some fans left. But I am impressed with how many have not.

Great post, Ansa! I so agree. I can completely understand why he may not have been open about this. It's not an easy thing for anyone, let alone a celebrity, to do. I know this is going to be very hard for some fans to accept, and I do feel for them. I would not be surprised to see some feeling anger or even betrayal. It's natural. I only hope that they can get past this and hold on to the fact that he's a good, decent man and an exceptional, generous performer. This is not about the fans. This is about him. And perhaps, things will get easier. For some reason, there seems to be more acceptance of openly gay men than of those who are merely suspected of being gay. Many, from Lance Bass to Neil Patrick Harris to T.R. Knight have flourished, the latter two in highly heterosexual roles. Coming out didn't ruin their careers. Anyway, I expect the next few days will be very interesting in the fandom. I can't wait to hear Clay's side of things. I think it could make all the difference.

FWIW, I'm thrilled for him. He's clearly happy about the child, and everything I've seen of him suggests that he will be a very good father. True, he has not followed the traditional path to parenthood, but he's always been one to forge his own way. I realize this situation has lead to all sorts of speculation, and with many different assumptions. There are concerns about what this means for his personal life, for his career. I understand why some worry. Personally, I'd rather just share his joy. It seems a whole lot easier.

Happy Birthday Claygasm! RE: Boobgate. I believe he was just having fun, and that he never thought the photo would ever be seen by his fans or the general public. It never bothered me that he did it. It did bother me that the photo was so widely distributed, because it was most likely against the wishes of both Clay and Mezghan. It appeared on many radio station web sites and on some VH1 show, where it was used to mock him. As for Ryan and Ruben, I really don't feel I'm in a position to judge Clay's relationships with other people. I'm not privy to their private conversations together. I don't see how they interract when the cameras or recorders are off. Public statements are really only a very small part of the equation.