dreamlarge

I completely understand how you feel. My children are younger, but my youngest tends to have that very “private” independent temperament. It seems the situation with your daughter is a pattern that developed early....one that should have been nipped in the bud. But it wasn’t. So now what? The present situation has been brewing for basically six years or just about a quarter of her lifetime. I think the problem stems from a combination of immaturity on her part (independent is not synonymous with mature) and overindulgence on your part (in an effort to give her space and let “her be her”.) I’m projecting....but I would be angry with myself for letting the situation get so inequitable. And I’d be angry with my daughter for acting like a brat. (even great kids can act like a brat sometimes) To me the situation is like an aircraft carrier that needs to come to port. You and your husband are the tugboats that have to get it there. As you know, tugboats are small but strong and highly maneuverable.....especially compared to the aircraft carrier. I sense timidity in the tone of your original post. I think you might need an attitude adjustment. I am of the opinion that what you are requesting from your daughter is completely reasonable. COMPLETELY. REASONABLE. The bond a daughter has for her mother is very different from the bond a mother has for her daughter. It’s just biology. She doesn’t get that. The fact that you need to physically see and touch her every once in a blue moon is normal and natural. I don’t care how demanding someone’s job is, nobody is so busy they can’t find two hours to spare once in a blue moon. In a situation like this the hardest thing for me would be to choke back my anger...even though I know that unleashing that anger will only bring a giant guilt trip. I would have to pray REALLY hard because that’s my Achilles heal. Once I can proceed from love I would tell her the truth about what I feel and what I need. You know she likes to receive mail so write her a letter. Then maneuver her like you’re a tugboat. I do not mean manipulate her. I mean be honest and flexible but firm. You need X and you’re willing to accommodate her...but you expect her to give you X (because X is completely reasonable). That’s how mature relationships work. We each set a price on ourselves. You’re in love with each other...right? Tell her how you feel. Let her be a grown up. Let her be accountable to maintain a healthy relationship with her parents. If she is uncomfortable with the concept of you driving specifically to see her then make her part of some bigger plan (or make her think she’s part of some bigger plan)... a weekend in NY or visiting friends in Chester County. Worse comes to worse....I live in the Philadelphia suburbs. If you want me to, I will go kick her ass for you. Just kidding. Good luck. And keep in mind I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about most of the time.

I think that's a crop of the one I posted early this morning. I didn't think those pictures were to be cropped? eta: because it helps to add the part that refers to what the hell I'm talking about. I am doing a high speed scroll through this thread and I saw your post. I don’t know where I got the picture...I have right click and saved so much stuff I just don't remember. But this is the way I saved the picture. By that I mean this is how I found it. I did not crop the picture. I just wanted you to know that. I take requests made by clack gatherers very seriously. I would never deliberately ignore a specific request. muskifest, I must admit, when he put my eye out Friday night I was pretty surprised that someone hadn't noticed the package situation in rehearsal. I mean it was really on display. heh Alas.

Merry Christmas FCA. I hope everyone here finds a little slice a peace at some point this season. Round one is over. I need to crash because round two starts in about eight hours. All we do it EAT! I would have posted this sooner but the banner is....eh...distracting.

Holy God!

The moustache is a reference to a skit Clay did on his last Kimmel appearance.

That is definitely Mary. S’all I got.

I came to ldyjocelyn’s question about twenty minutes ago. It literally took me that long to drool all over scroll down through all these pictures. You guys are killing me. It wasn’t a blog. It was a detailed feature of an upcoming event in an online newspaper for the Dallas area. The guy saw an easy shot and he took it. Despite what he said…that the paper always snarks on upcoming acts, I looked through past entries and didn’t see any smart ass comments under any other artists pictures. I agree with bottlecap that trying to argue with the people who print such stuff is a waste of time. I read through most of the comments and didn’t see any crap or hate…so I’m not sure what Mike is talking about. The paper took a fun upcoming event and spit out the side of their mouth at it. People just voiced displeasure at seeing yet another ‘prerequisite’ slam on Clay Aiken. At least that’s all I saw. Mike Orren the guy who runs the site closed the comments after only about thirty or so entries…six of which were from the staff. What a wimp….and very typical. They can dish it out but can’t any criticism for it.

I'm glad you did that Bottlecap. I was just coming in here to tell you that this message board is being linked directly from that Pegasus website...by the guy who runs that website.

I swear to god I can.not. keep up with this board. I’m like 18 pages behind in this thread alone. I scored two truly crappy Philadelphia tickets this morning…like in row yyy … behind a pole. I am very Zen about it. I’m in the house and I have ears... (and binoculars). *ommmm* Clay can be exhausting.

So will the remaining hours be spent rescuing Audrey? I hatessssss her.

I lost my mind and got a ticket for Houston thinking it would be the first show, but I didn’t buy a plane ticket yet. I’m not schlepping to Houston from Philadelphia if it’s not the first show. I’m in wait and see mode. I loved your post YSRN. I want to be as reasonable as you when I grow up. I often wish I was more even keeled in my fandom....more casual. I have to admit that Clay Aiken and I have a tumultuous relationship sometimes. I have to give muski’s questions more thought and get back. I was away and offline for about five days following the gala and I swear I am still not caught up. I feel completely out of the loop or something. It’s not good for me to be offline when Clay is afoot. Last night after we returned from dinner at my in-laws I got busted with a picture of Clay as my wallpaper. First let me say...there is no evidence of Clay in my every day life at home. (other than me sitting at the computer) Sometimes when the kids are away, I'll put a picture of Clay as my background on the computer…but that it as radical as I get. When we got home last night my 18YO was the first on the computer to do her AIM thing. The rest of us were in the family room when she calls out... 18YO: Who’s that with Clay? He’s cute. And Clay looks different. ME: blank stare…(I suddenly realize that I must have saved the pix of Clay and Jesse to my desktop instead of my external hard drive. ACK!) 21YO daughter: Who’s cute? We scramble to the computer where the ….ACK!!!!! wallpaper is Clay and Jesse…and ACK!!!! I pounce on the keyboard to make the …..ACK!!!! Clay/Jesse picture GO AWAY!!!! 21YO: WAIT! *beat* 21YO: That’s Clay???? A team of horses couldn’t hold back her amazement. Later she told me that she always thought Clay was …and I quote… “sweaty, greasy, oily, and orangey”. I have no idea where she got all that…other than … *cough* maybe at some point I saved a photo to my desktop of the one time he actually sweated… jeez. I made a little speed montage the other night for Sherrygirl’s birthday. It’s up at You Tube. . It's got gala clack in it....like when he looked directly into ClayIzzaQT's camera as he put that ring in his mouth. The little shit. OMG. Like a hundred people have posted since I started typing this.

OH I so agree. The bucket hat is hideous, the sweater’s too small but there’s something about that broad shouldered, dog totin’, two strappin’ guy that smolders to me. I put my name on the group list for Philadelphia because I’m a lemming…and I always panic. For Wolf Trap JBT I was not part of the group tix. I got my ticket through the fanclub presale and had much better seats than the group ticket people had. I don’t think I’ve ever just bought one ticket to a Clay concert. It’s a sickness. I don’t think I’ll be that bad this time around. (that’s if you don’t count my Pavlov response to the Philly group list). Anyway, Diva, I’ve got you covered.

Sorry to hit and run...but I see bottlecap sets this up. I just have to share. This is a preview of something that Spotlightlover is working on. It's the happiest montage ever. Sleigh Ride I will pay ten bucks to any FCA person who doesn't crack a smile. It's pure fun. Enjoy. All possible lauds go to Spotlightlover. (hope it's ok that I shared. I'm too excited. heh)

Bwah. It'll be a blood bath. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!1!!!!! Clay on tour. It is frustrating the way his tour dates dribble out. I should be use to it by now. But still. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :party038: :04: :04:

When I saw the Singapore picture last night, I wondered if this was the shot that finally made Clay decide to fix his teeth. I knew his front teeth pushed in a little and there were some imperfections but they NEVER jumped out at me in photographs. The only imperfection that waved to me from pictures was the gumminess. But looking at this smile, the front teeth are so obviously misaligned. It seems almost exaggerated (I guess now because I’m looking for it). People often do tend to amplify their own imperfections. ACK! Maybe he thought his smile was hideous. *sniff* I sincerely hope he loves his new teeth, even if I don’t. I’m pathetic like that. I want him to be happy. If Clay ever sang One on One, I would explode. I'm aquiver just thinking about it. Time for a cigarette. Hope you're ok Playbiller. My goal in life is to post without editing.

BWAH! If I may interrupt the sox scarf retirement talk for a moment (BTW…I hatessssss AARP who descended on me the minute I turned fifty and inundates me with mail every month lest I forget my accelerated demise due to old age ---hmmm…where’d THAT rant come from?) Anywazzzzzzzzz I have a question about the teeth. *moment of silence* The way Cookie described them…that they “seemed to stand out a little from the gums… concerns me a little. I don’t know enough about dental work. So what does her comment mean? Why would the new teeth protrude from the gums? What did he have done? And who did it? And where? I think I need to find a cherished chicklet teeth support group. Happy Birthday rcknrllmom :04: Here’s a little bit of funny for you. Happy Birthday eta: Maybe I'm misunderstanding what Cookie means. I got the impression that there was a gap between the top edge of his teeth and the gums.

I have a 21 yo and 18yo. It’s all real time stuff: chat, IM or MySpace. They don’t even talk on the phone. Just Text messages. Like they can only talk with their fingers. (I finally learned how to text a couple months ago....but I am eye-rollingly lame. I actually spell words out and use punctuation.) *waves to Playbiller* thanks for explaining that. Muski’s mini litany at CH that illustrated how ‘scheming’ can be a relative term was quoted by someone at CH who said that “none of ‘us’ is innocent” of engaging in the behavior Muski listed, and that’s why ‘we’ are uncomfortable...because ‘we’ see ‘ourselves’ in Cookie. (or something like that. The post has since been edited). My contention was that the poster’s conclusion is incorrect...in the specifics. (I use myself as proof) When Playbiller quoted my post to use as a counterpoint, well I was confused. *g* Yeah, I know. It’s easy to do. I do see what you mean in a broader sense, though.... that no matter how one behaves as a fan, there is likely to be somebody who disapproves. I make montages. That probably squicks some people out. Cookie drives her Claymobile. Personally I find that appalling. Heh. But as I said on CH, she’s not hurting anyone. Cookie is a fan. She wanted to meet Clay. She did what she had to do to get what she wanted. It’s not Cookie’s responsibility to manage how the public perceives Clay’s fan base. It’s not the fans’ job to manage Clay’s image and career. If Clay wants kids and PYTs in the front row at his concerts, he can hire professionals to manage his image and career in a way to get that result. That leads me to believe there is a reason that hasn't happened. Clay use to be the ‘thinking woman’s’ sex symbol. What happened to that? I prefer to keep the fans out of the story entirely, but I’m convinced it will take an act of God or congress to sever the Clay story from the Claymates story in the media’s eyes. I have to accept that. Back to Cookie...I think singling out a fan can engender jealousy among the ranks. Clay does it all the time. And like clock work, the ‘chosen one’ inevitably gets skewered on some boards. I’m thankful to hear that Cookie doesn’t read the boards. Although that didn’t come as a surprise to me since she missed all the questions in the trivia contest. heh Still she won a trip to the Bahamas and an invitation to meet Clay again. It’s no wonder she’s been crucified. This is sooooo true. My computer is in a separate area from my TV which allows me a built in buffer. Sorry I haven’t posted much. It’s hard to keep up sometimes. I did bring a little present though. The Dream’s on Me The Dream’s on Me -Dial up I still have issues with the teeth, but I’m learning to adapt and trying to keep my mouth shut about how I secretly pine for the little pushed in chicklet teeth. *sniff*

I’m sneaking in here under the wire to wish y’all a Happy New Year. My guests haven’t a clue. And here’s a look back at the past year. . It’s a chronogolgy...pretty much like what I did last year. . I’m so A type. *g* Anyway.....I can’t wait until these people get outta my house so I can come back and read all the stuff you guys wrote and jemock’s blog. Gotta go kiss people.

EEEEE. *waves to Claygasm and Muskifest...two people I met on this tour*This is just a drive by also... to drop off a montage that’s at you tube. (Surprisingly I still have an account. Two of my things were pulled the other night.) I hope this is the right place to drop this. My concerts are over and I’m feeling very lonely. I'm still exhausted from the intensity of Long Island. I'm not sure how he pulls it together every night feeling the way he does (did). I’m off to celebrate xmas with my inlaws. I can’t wait to get back tonight and catch up.

Bwah! That hair! Make it stop.

I’m on the run here. Have to go to a stoooopid cocktail party. *waves to Claygasm* eeeeee. If was so FUN to meet you. that ending to DSIAFCD? Unbelievable. I got like big ploppy tears in my eyes. It was so unexpected and dramatic, sensual and intensely intimate. When I use the word intimate I don’t mean close-intimate. I mean like carnal-intimate. The entire house could hear him very clearly…a beautiful unembellished voice. It was like he made love to the whole house in ten seconds. I sat in astonishment. I have two more shows, but I miss him already. I’ll try to recap later.

Speaking of Hometown Connection, I’ve heard the mp3 but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this video before. He is freaking adorable. I’m still catching up on the boards and watching clack from last night. I’m very happy for him. He makes it look so easy that sometimes I forget that it isn't. I’m not crazy about the hair but I noticed the package was on display last night. I put a couple little snips together. I’ll leave it up for a little while on (It’s not at my dreamlarge account. It’s at another account I have.)

EEEE. I love the geekette story. *sigh* I can just imagine the turmoil in her stomach for the entire trip. *sigh* and then panic sweat when she finally asked for the autograph. *sigh* I'm so happy for her. *sigh* I love that Clay is wearing sandals in a snowstorm. *sigh* And a bucket hat. *sigh* MrsLoki is a most excellent meerkat flusher. Good job. *sigh* I just feel all warm and right inside. *sigh* He’s got the power y’all. *sigh* ldyjocelyn I hurt for you. For any other entertainer it would be a no brainer. But see above ^^^ there's just something about him. Good luck with whatever you decide. I wonder who all was in the entourage. eta: I see you've made your decision, Idyjocelyn. Hope you get your wish.

Still behind on the board but wanted to check in and say great montage rcknrllmom. I’m a little excited about tomorrow night. I was in Reading last Nov. 30 (gave the worst cell cert ever). I feel like I haven’t seen him in forever. My first concert is Baltimore, but I will be listening and squeeeing tomorrow night. Love this emoticon. Bring it. :club0:

BWAH. I'm not a fan, so my teeth pretty much fell out when I saw those numbers. As for promotion, I saw one link posted online that had a portion of a couple Daughtry songs. Sounded very generic to me….not bad…just generic. But that is the only promotion I saw. I'm glad for him. He must be tharilled with 301K. I hope he and Clive live happily ever after. Thanks Couchie for solving the virus problem I was having yesterday. I was skeered to come back today to tell you the truth. Losing one hard drive a month is my limit. I switched my browser to Firefox. And this is definitely my last PC.