kc01

my poem- Beautiful GoodBye

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hey guys! this is a little poem I wrote for a little contest I'm entering. I thought I would share it with you. please let me know what you think :D

I saw you today. You didn't see me. But then you never see me. Not since that day we said said goodbye and went our separte ways. We were so polite that day. Trying not to let the other know what we were really feeling. We both agreed that it was not working. We hugged briefly, promised to stay friends, then you turned and walked out of my life forever. I knew it was for the best. I knew that life would be better now that we were apart. But even now I can't seem to forget. You meant the world to me, even though I never told you. The words I couldn't bring myself to say to you I can say to someone else. Someone who doesn't deserve to hear them, not like you did. Seeing you now, I wonder how I could have just stood there and watched you walk away. I guess I am stronger than I thought. Do I regret it? I guess we'll never know because I keep my feelings to myself. Am I destined to always wonder if I made a mistake letting you go? Did I let you down? I know I did. I always do. That's my specialty in life. Letting people down. Is there anything I can do to get through to you? Or am I just a fool? Sometimes I cry, thinking of you and all that you were to me. I feel like dying inside. Please forgive me for all that I did and do now. But I can't help but wonder if you think of me and our beautiful goodbye...

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The only thing I can say is emotional roller coaster. It brought tears to my eyes and made me think of my brother who is deceased and living with survivors guilt about not doing enough for him. I am working through all that grief. Good gracious it has been almost 9 years since he past, and I still miss him. Think about him everyday. At least every other day for sure. It is very beautiful. Good going. I really like it.

G

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hey guys! this is a little poem I wrote for a little contest I'm entering. I thought I would share it with you. please let me know what you think :D

I saw you today. You didn't see me. But then you never see me. Not since that day we said said goodbye and went our separte ways. We were so polite that day. Trying not to let the other know what we were really feeling. We both agreed that it was not working. We hugged briefly, promised to stay friends, then you turned and walked out of my life forever. I knew it was for the best. I knew that life would be better now that we were apart. But even now I can't seem to forget. You meant the world to me, even though I never told you. The words I couldn't bring myself to say to you I can say to someone else. Someone who doesn't deserve to hear them, not like you did. Seeing you now, I wonder how I could have just stood there and watched you walk away. I guess I am stronger than I thought. Do I regret it? I guess we'll never know because I keep my feelings to myself. Am I destined to always wonder if I made a mistake letting you go? Did I let you down? I know I did. I always do. That's my specialty in life. Letting people down. Is there anything I can do to get through to you? Or am I just a fool? Sometimes I cry, thinking of you and all that you were to me. I feel like dying inside. Please forgive me for all that I did and do now. But I can't help but wonder if you think of me and our beautiful goodbye...

Hi kc91, thanks for letting us read your poem. It is very sad, remorseful and complicated. Do I understand that the subject parted with her (could be his) love on a mutual basis. The subject is now involved with another, but not on the same level as the first relationship and regrets (?) parting. The subject then reveals what she thinks are her faults. Allow me to be a teacher. Did you put this in prose form just for this forum. I would like to see it in blank verse form. And I would cut out a few words to make it stronger, eg. You meant the world to me. I never told you. -- Take this criticism for what it is worth and it could be worthless. I am a writer, not a poet. Anyway keep on writing. You have talent.

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