#23: Lordy. He is one more hunkalicious dude!

[Bookwhore]

justclay, I'm sorry that your Clay obsessi.. love is causing friction between you and your sisters. My DH and DS never make wisecracks about my Clay love, they always act politely interested, albeit a bit perplexed. But my niece, sisters, nephews, etc. for some reason feel like it's open-season on Clay whenever we're together. At the Thanksgiving table my niece and nephew in particular felt it necessary to convince me that Clay was gay and I was an idiot. I didn't even bring up the subject, they just started in. I've learned to ignore, ignore, ignore, don't even participate in the conversation. I never bring him up in conversation around anyone except DH. I've realized that it's not necessary to my happiness for them to approve.

I think they really think if they ridicule me enough that I'll come to my senses and give up this ridiculous obsession. In truth, they're just cutting themselves out of one of the greatest joys of my life. I'm not going to give up the joy and wonderful friends I've made through Clay for them.

My biggest challenge is my DD. She doesn't do it often anymore, but sometimes when she's really pissed at me, she'll take a potshot at Clay, just to push my buttons. I used to take the bait, but now I've figured out that if I just tell her that Bitch doesn't become her and walk away, it lessens her satisfaction. She really isn't a bitch, she's a sweetheart, she just impersonates a Bitch very well at times. She had mentioned that she wanted to go to the JNT in Omaha with me this year, and when she found out I had tickets and was going without her she was a little disappointed. I just didn't want to spend the money on someone who really wasn't an appreciative fan.

[gbmifan]

I know how you feel about not being respected for your interest in Clay. My children also do not understand. They can not believe I would go see him in concert. My oldest on Christmas day made some smart comment about him being gay. My husband looked at him and said don't go there. My youngest child likes to tease but in a kind way. He and his fiance got me three Clay related items for Christmas. Most of the time I just ignore them if things are said. Thank God my middle child lives out of state or he to would probably be on my case.

Aikim that is a neat story. My husband several years ago was looking at a house in another city from where we lived for a job transfer. He went down the basement and saw many pictures on the wall. He realized that one looked very familiar and sure enough there he was staring at himself. The owner of the home was a old fraternity brother who also was working at the time for the same company but was just looking for another house.

[Bookwhore]

Geez, I feel like I should go back and edit my other post. It appears that we do have agendas and smackdowns. Now I'm waiting for someone to put pressure on me.

[annabear]

Thanks for the Spamalot countdown... hmmm I'm sure there's a way to localize that but..it sounds like work. Don't ask how many admins it takes to edit an archived post. Seriously, don't ask.

You're welcome! I'm sure there's a way, too, but I couldn't figure it out in 5 minutes, so a link is what we got!

As for "obsession".... well.... um....

[jumpingjacks]

Someone mentioned on CV that the family members and friends who continually make comments about Clay are actually taking swipes at us. They can't call us idiots so they take a swipe at Clay every chance they get. I think that makes a lot of sense and it hurts.

I only have one person who tries to harass me about him and I shut her down and out very quickly. She seems to think her taste in entertainment is so much more evolved than mine. Right.

I get sick of people thinking I know nothing about music or what makes me happy. I'm not stupid...I've been involved in music all my life. Do they really think I follow this guy because he CAN'T sing? WTF?

[bottlecap]

Hee! No smackdowns, just some extremely scary but seldom used stillettos...

[Couch Tomato]

Geez, I feel like I should go back and edit my other post. It appears that we do have agendas and smackdowns. Now I'm waiting for someone to put pressure on me.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: heee

OK, sometimes I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe. I have not had any issues with anybody regarding Clay..oh one guy 2 jobs ago but he was obsessed with Shakira so I had plenty of ammunition. I thought he was juvenile and I never let him upset me. I don't how I'd feel if it were a family member. I have an aunt who likes to tell my mother that Clay is gay but she has never said it to me. I also know she has issues as she also talks to my mom about her children all the time and one time was very upset to find out one of her sons was going with a white girl. Hello? This is 2008 and both my brother and sister are married to people who are not African American. To me she just doesn't think so nothing she says bothers me. My brother in law was another one who used to be on the but he didn't win kick and felt he was eclipsing Ruben. At first I just tried to tell him they are in the real world now and they are on their own...but after he went to the IT tour (only to see Kelly BWAH) he ended up respecting Clay and liking his set more. My family helps me sometimes when I want to get to Clay things or mailing pins or helping me when I help host our JNT05 party. I just don't know how I'd respond if they dissed to my face something that makes me so happy. So hugs to all that have to deal with this on any level. Do you think they are jealous of your time or affection or just being bratty?

Jumping Jacks..yeah I've also said in the past that it's a respect issue between the people involved but now I believe that may be only one of the reasons. I think maybe jealousy or crying for attention may be another as well. Hell, do we have any experts around here

[jumpingjacks]

Geez, I feel like I should go back and edit my other post. It appears that we do have agendas and smackdowns. Now I'm waiting for someone to put pressure on me.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: heee

OK, sometimes I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe. I have not had any issues with anybody regarding Clay..oh one guy 2 jobs ago but he was obsessed with Shakira so I had plenty of ammunition. I thought he was juvenile and I never let him upset me. I don't how I'd feel if it were a family member. I have an aunt who likes to tell my mother that Clay is gay but she has never said it to me. I also know she has issues as she also talks to my mom about her children all the time and one time was very upset to find out one of her sons was going with a white girl. Hello? This is 2008 and both my brother and sister are married to people who are not African American. To me she just doesn't think so nothing she says bothers me. My brother in law was another one who used to be on the but he didn't win kick and felt he was eclipsing Ruben. At first I just tried to tell him they are in the real world now and they are on their own...but after he went to the IT tour (only to see Kelly BWAH) he ended up respecting Clay and liking his set more. My family helps me sometimes when I want to get to Clay things or mailing pins or helping me when I help host our JNT05 party. I just don't know how I'd respond if they dissed to my face something that makes me so happy. So hugs to all that have to deal with this on any level. Do you think they are jealous of your time or affection or just being bratty?

Jumping Jacks..yeah I've also said in the past that it's a respect issue between the people involved but now I believe that may be only one of the reasons. I think maybe jealousy or crying for attention may be another as well. Hell, do we have any experts around here

My "Dr. Phil" hat says she thinks I'm being taken advantage of because, somehow, I'm not old enough or smart enough to make my own decisions.

I also think that the arrogance of the one is directly related to her being a "music major" and thinking she is far more qualified to determine what is and isn't good music...even though I've been involved in music since elementary school.

Third, I think the fact that he was on American Idol makes him a joke to her and I'm a fool for buying into the hype.

Lordy, how did I ever make it this far in my life without her helping me decide what is best for me.

The saddest part is she isn't even family.

[ivy]

Someone mentioned on CV that the family members and friends who continually make comments about Clay are actually taking swipes at us. They can't call us idiots so they take a swipe at Clay every chance they get. I think that makes a lot of sense and it hurts.

Look at it this way. If they were good people, they would not do this. Some are jealous so try to take away from the joy of others. It is a mean thing on their part. I don't know much about psychology but I bet there are articles on this topic. I really think it says much more about them than the person they are trying to put down. So {{{{hugs}}}} and if it happens to you, consider the source and try to ignore them.

[KAndre]

puts on her "expert" hat (it's got a feather that's only been chewed on a little by the cat)... Yes. They are all jealous, and attention whores, and have personal issues.

I'm in the same boat as Couchie - but then, unlike Bookwhore's DD, I don't play a bitch, I AM a bitch. Anything I get, everyone who knows me realizes I will declare total war. But my family likes that kind of stuff. I don't get teased over Clay any more than my other interests, like my personal library, or the fact that as one person in my apartment, I have three computers and two televisions and two cats, and my son claims I am clearly involved in some sort of criminal activity as my car windows are so darkly tinted, so all my nieces and nephews are now claiming that I'm "ghetto" and "street". Clay apparently works well with that.

[skybar22]

I'm fortunate because I have friends and family who really like Clay. They aren't intense, like me but they don't have a problem with it. My other friends, who are not fans, like him and gratefully accept his CDs when I buy them one. The only friend that isn't a fan is happy that I am passionate about him. She sees it as a good diversion (her term) from the ugliness in our world. In fact, I just loaned her the Pala DVD I made and she said she didn't like the music but that he had a great voice and he was a great entertainer so she enjoyed watching the show. Baby steps. She also said she would love to see him in Spamalot. Sadly, we are not going.

I have been trying to stay away from the dramatics of this fandom today because I want to scream at some of this. The jealousy some fans have is so blatant to me. FCA remains a breath of fresh air. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Claygasm]

Hee! No smackdowns, just some extremely scary but seldom used stillettos...

Wow - those are some scary stilettos! Hope they don't come in KAndre's size!!

No one has given me a hard time about my Clay hobby. Of course, there are still a lot of people in my real life who don't know about it. Its not that I lie to them, but if the subject doesn't come up, I don't bring it up. If it comes up, then that's one thing, but I just don't mention it out of the blue. As for those who know, well, I don't think anyone gets it, but they don't give me a hard time about it either.

Of course, I think one reason those that know don't give me a hard time about it is I don't try to foist my obsession on others. If they say they don't like Clay, I say that's cool. If they say Clay is gay, I say he may be - he says he's not and my gut tells me he's not - but who really knows and who cares. If they say they don't like his music, voice etc, I say that's cool - to each their own. I don't get defensive about him. I don't try to Clayvert anyone. Different strokes for different folks. I think when I don't react to what they say, they just accept I like someone they don't get.

Of course, I don't have a husband or a child to explain it to - or who may feel at times as if they are in competition with Clay. I do think that is why some get upset - they feel as if Clay is getting more attention than they are.

And with some people, it could be true!

[duckyvee]

Oopd. Double post. I have no idea how that happened, but once was enough....

[RIFAN]

........and the other thing I like about this board (in addition to being with folks who have all different levels of obsessions) is the fact that we all seem to have encountered folks who want to rain on our Clay parade or pee in our Cheerios.

What is with that? Why the heck can't I have a normal conversation with someone in our teachers' room without someone interrupting and telling me: he's fat, he's gay, he's trying to be cool by growing his hair, they don't like him. I just want to put my fingers in my ears and go la-la-la-la. Why do I have to put up with this shyte from people who rave about soap operas and other innane tv shows. They have no idea what a class act Clay really is and they wouldn't recognize talent if it kicked them in the ass (which is what I usually feel like doing).

God, that felt good. This board really is quite theraputic.

[gbmifan]

I actually think my boys tease not to be mean. I think that they cannot picture their mom interested in a artist especially one from AI. They have their interest so sometimes I just give it to them back. My DIL had alsways loved Christina Agulaira since she was in high school. My son for Christmas last year got her tickets to see her in concert in Ohio. They had a drive, hotel rooms, etc. I just remind them we all have our favorites. They go to several concerts a year of other artists, so it is not the money spent. I never ignore them, am available whenever they need me. I think they just enjoy the teasing.

I spent from 8am to 5pm taking down decorations. It got warm outside, around 45, so I got all the outside done to. I think my back will rebel tomorrow. I just learned they closed the ski hill for tomorrow, so now I can change my schedule. Go drive to my Moms and do her errands and shopping. I talked to my concert buddy today, she had not seen the HOI show. She is going to come over in the am and see it. Sometimes work schedules and other commitments gets into the way of fun ,we just have not been able to get together. We are almost the same age but I have three grown children and she has a 9 year old

[duckyvee]

She had mentioned that she wanted to go to the JNT in Omaha with me this year, and when she found out I had tickets and was going without her she was a little disappointed. I just didn't want to spend the money on someone who really wasn't an appreciative fan.

I can related to that, bookwhore. I don't really take any grief about Clay, but my niece rolls her eyeballs on occasion when she finds out her parents are going to yet another Clay concert with me. Them she understands, me... well she just doesn't get it, but she is always respectful because she can tell I'm serious in my fandom. She said she wants to go with us to see Spamalot, but I told her I wasn't sure it was a good idea because if she felt the inclination to be critical she might ruin my good time. If she buys a ticket, I won't protest, but I don't plan to encourage it. I love her, but I think it's better if she stays away from my Clay bubble.

[Claygasm]

I have been trying to stay away from the dramatics of this fandom today because I want to scream at some of this. The jealousy some fans have is so blatant to me. FCA remains a breath of fresh air. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

There are dramatics going on in this fandom today??

Oh say it isn't so!!!

That couldn't be!! There are never dramatics in this fandom!!

[jamar1700]

Of course, I think one reason those that know don't give me a hard time about it is I don't try to foist my obsession on others. If they say they don't like Clay, I say that's cool. If they say Clay is gay, I say he may be - he says he's not and my gut tells me he's not - but who really knows and who cares. If they say they don't like his music, voice etc, I say that's cool - to each their own. I don't get defensive about him. I don't try to Clayvert anyone. Different strokes for different folks. I think when I don't react to what they say, they just accept I like someone they don't get.

Same here. I have some people in my life (some of my former co-workers specifically) who would seriously "overshare" about their personal lives and interests and I didn't care for it so I try not to do it.

But also, anyone who knows me knows that I wouldn't take it. Period. People who say they care about me do not try to make me feel small. Period.

People often don't like what they don't understand.

---

Such a short post. So many edits.

[Gibby]

My biggest challenge is my DD. She doesn't do it often anymore, but sometimes when she's really pissed at me, she'll take a potshot at Clay, just to push my buttons. I used to take the bait, but now I've figured out that if I just tell her that Bitch doesn't become her and walk away, it lessens her satisfaction. She really isn't a bitch, she's a sweetheart, she just impersonates a Bitch very well at times. She had mentioned that she wanted to go to the JNT in Omaha with me this year, and when she found out I had tickets and was going without her she was a little disappointed. I just didn't want to spend the money on someone who really wasn't an appreciative fan.

Oooh, this is DD#1 personified. She doesn't hassle me about Clay, because I allow her to have her obsessions and I don't hassle her about them. She knows she would get it back if she hassled me. But, if I ask her to do something, even small, that's not on her agenda, she turns into a royal bitch. Or, if I merely suggest that she could think about doing something differently, it's war. Of course, if she's PMSing, it's much worse. We have a lot of common interests, and really enjoy being together when we're not disagreeing about something! :lmaosmiley-1:

puts on her "expert" hat (it's got a feather that's only been chewed on a little by the cat)... Yes. They are all jealous, and attention whores, and have personal issues.

I'm in the same boat as Couchie - but then, unlike Bookwhore's DD, I don't play a bitch, I AM a bitch. Anything I get, everyone who knows me realizes I will declare total war. But my family likes that kind of stuff. I don't get teased over Clay any more than my other interests, like my personal library, or the fact that as one person in my apartment, I have three computers and two televisions and two cats, and my son claims I am clearly involved in some sort of criminal activity as my car windows are so darkly tinted, so all my nieces and nephews are now claiming that I'm "ghetto" and "street". Clay apparently works well with that.

BWAH! This is hilarious. Clearly, you are a dangerous person with three computers, two TVs, two cats and tinted car windows! OMG, KAndre, I never knew. And to think that I sat across from you at the restaurant in Omaha!

[Clayzorback]

Well, everyone I know thinks Clay is Gay. Friends, family, co-workers. Joe blow on the street. Anytime his name comes up in conversation with anyone, I am around, it is the first thing out of their mouths. I reply that he may be, but I could care less. He doesn't sing with his pecker. I get the looks and the giggles and the teasing from everyone. I don't even bring him up in conversation anymore, but invariably someone else will and then it starts. Mainly they just don't like his style of singing. It isn't that they make fun of him. It boils down to taste in music.

My husband doesn't say it, but I know that he can't wait until the day I "get over it" and return to normal.

I think the reason people really react and tease me the way they do, is because my behavior (to them) is not considered age appropriate. Running across the country following a singer is something young groupies do. Not mature grown educated women. Talking non stop, and bringing Clay up in every conversation, swooning over someone who could be your kid, buying posters, and thongs with Clay's name on it, for Christ sake, and on and on. It's just not age appropriate. I think claygasm hit on something too. I don't try to shove my hobby or try to force others to like Clay. I know that he is a throwback to another era and not a lot of people's cup of tea. That's fine. I also try not to spend more time on my hobby than I do my spouse and real life. Hard to do that sometimes, but that is one of my new Year Resolutions. To cut down on the amount of time I spend on the computer posting.

Have a good evening everyone. AI2 Rewind comes on here at 7. So I am letting hubby have the computer.

[gbmifan]

I never try to push Clay on anybody. The girls at work know I go to concerts but thats about all. Since 2003 I kept everything close to me. My mom is a fan and went to concerts with me till it became hard for her. The person who has been going with me lately, saw Clay on AI but lost track of him. We were talking about AI in 2006 and Clay came up. She borrowned his book from me, and from then on has been a goner. Her husband teases her but in a good way, just like mine.

[justclay12]

i'll admit that i am completely obsessed, and i will talk about clay in my conversations, if he has done something that relates to what we are talking about. i don't hide my obsession because it brings me a lot of joy. however, i can talk about a lot of subjects that are meaningful to me and my sisters don't mind that, but for some reason, it seems to bother them when i talk about clay. i do think some of it is jealousy because they don't have something that brings them that much happiness. my friends and people that i have gotten friendly with thru college or work, are much more tolerant of my obsession, and most think its funny. my son and daughter pick on me but they aren't quite so mean about it. my son will abruptly change the subject after about 2 minutes of talking about clay, but then he does that even when i'm not talking about clay. he's 22, so i'm happy he talks to me at all. he actually liked clay in the beginning, until mom got too enthusiastic. it's so uncool to like someone your mom likes. my daughter likes clay too and has gone to some concerts, but she doesn't get obsessive over anything.

[Couch Tomato]

Look at it this way. If they were good people, they would not do this. Some are jealous so try to take away from the joy of others. It is a mean thing on their part. I don't know much about psychology but I bet there are articles on this topic. I really think it says much more about them than the person they are trying to put down. So {{{{hugs}}}} and if it happens to you, consider the source and try to ignore them.

I think we are talking about children, husbands, family - you can't just say consider the source and forget it on them. They are family have a real actul relationship with these people. So you have to make the effort to see what is at the root of it all and work on that. I know in 2003 I pretty much abandoned everyone and stayed glued to my computer. Didn't want to miss anything. Frankly I think if I was married and had kids I'd be in the same boat LOL.

puts on her "expert" hat (it's got a feather that's only been chewed on a little by the cat)... Yes. They are all jealous, and attention whores, and have personal issues.

I'm in the same boat as Couchie - but then, unlike Bookwhore's DD, I don't play a bitch, I AM a bitch. Anything I get, everyone who knows me realizes I will declare total war. But my family likes that kind of stuff. I don't get teased over Clay any more than my other interests, like my personal library, or the fact that as one person in my apartment, I have three computers and two televisions and two cats, and my son claims I am clearly involved in some sort of criminal activity as my car windows are so darkly tinted, so all my nieces and nephews are now claiming that I'm "ghetto" and "street". Clay apparently works well with that.

And then here comes KAndre and says the opposite LOL. You need to write a book about your family!

Skybar I feel ya!

[RIFAN]

Oh, I never bring up the subject of Clay at work. Just that when his name does come up, people know I am a fan and seem to think is is their job to let me know they don't like him. Now, if someone starts to rave about Justin Timberlake or someone else I don't care for, I wouldn't dream of raining on their parade. Wouldn't ever say anything negative--that's just me. Guess I am just a little thin skinned--can't help it. Get very hurt and take it personally when anything negative is said about Clay.

Speaking of obsessions--do you think a person is obsessed when they watch, let's say Jimmy Kimmel (when a certain cute singer guy is on) at 12:05 and tape it, then get up again and watch it at 3:05 even though they already have it on tape once. (This was when we used to have a satellite dish and got east and west coast shows.) God--I used to get soooo tired, but couldn't help it.

Do ya think I may need medical attention?

[Cotton]

Hee! No smackdowns, just some extremely scary but seldom used stillettos...

Yo! Bottle! Are these your SPAMalot shoes??!!! They will go perferctly with your Chainmail Coif !!!