#28: The man's a joy magnet!

[KAndre]

I guess I can laugh at some of those that think they have talent because I have met so many (and worse, am related to more). And the reactions that most of them display upon being told they have no talent in real life is rage, denial, accusations of jealousy - I have been forced to sit through so very many recitals (and to top off the horror, parent-inspired encores) of talentless teacher's pets and stage mothers - ones who voice coach shop until they find someone who tells them what they want to hear...

It really isn't that hard to get a recording of yourself. Hell, I though I sounded GREAT until one afternoon when some cousins and I managed to acquire the use of a casette recorder. I think I was about 8 at the time. If you're going to show your butt on national TV, "sorta good" doesn't cut it; "OK" definitely doesn't cut it; "not as bad as Ernest Borgnine" should be right out; and if your vocal stylings are such that only a mother could love them (literally) and by now since you have seen the show you're auditioning for (and if you say you haven't, you're lying as well as talentless and really need to go away) and they have sent you in front of the judges - you should know you are comedic fodder, no more, no less. At least that's my take on it.

I'll also admit, I can be a tad mean - but I make all the nice people look better!

There have been too many insanely talented people on AI for the delusional to maintain their "shock and awe" that the judges (and America) don't appreciate their talent.

[muskifest]

Kellie Pickler was NOT good last night. In fact, I was cringing at the sound of her voice AND the way she was flouncing around in her "Red High Heels"...At least she didn't wear a dress that accentuated her newfound roundness in the boobage dept. but my husband swears she's had face work, too....I think I agree...when she was talking in the interview part, there was something odd about her face around her nose and mouth....

Anyhoo....what's AI doing? Showcasing all the past not-so-winners on these results show? Will they have any real winners (first or second places or platinum sellers or Oscar winners or Grammy winners or Broadway stars or humanitarians ) the closer we get to the finale?

I read somewhere that Kim Locke is going to perform on one of the results shows...whoop.

I still hope Clay appears in May and sings the first single from the new CD. But I honestly wonder if AI WANTS him these days---he seems to steal the thunder everywhere he goes, you know?

[Claygasm]

I still hope Clay appears in May and sings the first single from the new CD. But I honestly wonder if AI WANTS him these days---he seems to steal the thunder everywhere he goes, you know?

I don't think they care if he steals thunder as long as he delivers HUGE ratings!

And we all know Clay usually does deliver HUGE....

[Couch Tomato]

I still hope Clay appears in May and sings the first single from the new CD. But I honestly wonder if AI WANTS him these days---he seems to steal the thunder everywhere he goes, you know?

I don't think they care if he steals thunder as long as he delivers HUGE ratings!

And we all know Clay usually does deliver HUGE....

I totally agree with this. The person who matters seems to enjoy the intrigue that usually surrounds Clay's visits. I expect to see him.

[playbiller]

Well, let's not forget that kellie's album sold more than Clay's last one. By historic statistics, her next one should sell not so much. Interestingly, Josh Gracin's second album has been delayed to April. I think they keep trying to find a hit and nothing is catching on, he has released several singles that have tanked. They have been delyingthis album for over a year, one month at a tiome and have tried several singles on the radio. I guess it says something that Clay's albums sell without hits.

I fully expect Clay to be on Ai this year.

[PermaSwooned]

Kellie Pickler was NOT good last night. In fact, I was cringing at the sound of her voice AND the way she was flouncing around in her "Red High Heels"...At least she didn't wear a dress that accentuated her newfound roundness in the boobage dept. but my husband swears she's had face work, too....I think I agree...when she was talking in the interview part, there was something odd about her face around her nose and mouth....

Anyhoo....what's AI doing? Showcasing all the past not-so-winners on these results show? Will they have any real winners (first or second places or platinum sellers or Oscar winners or Grammy winners or Broadway stars or humanitarians ) the closer we get to the finale?

I was whizzing through AI via Tivo last night, so I got to cut out all gratuitous AI stuff and the stupid Q&A, but stopped for Kellie. It cracked me up when Ryan said that Kellie had "grown" in SO many ways in his introduction.

She said in her bio that she hadn't changed, that she was still Kellie Pickler, and I thought....yeah, but you're not the SAME Kellie Pickler!! She did look different...I thought maybe she had her teeth worked on? Does she have a testimonial on Clay's dentist's site? She really did not.sound.good, so I fast forwarded through most of her song.

After the train wreck that was AI6 the producers said that were going to be paying less attention to big stars that had NOTHING to do with the contestants and the show. Maybe that's why they are featuring former contestants that have had some success this year. I'm REALLY hoping that a Clay appearance is part of the CD promotion plan. It isn't just that a lot of people watch...it's that a lot of people potentially predisposed to be interested in Clay and his music watch.

[muskifest]

I don't think they care if he steals thunder as long as he delivers HUGE ratings!

Yep..but the show already has HUGE ratings, so....

I hope Clay DOES go on the show...and I hope he's looking all toned and fit from his physically demanding role on Broadway...and I hope his hair isn't all plastered with product and forced into some unnatural 'do'...and I hope he...

Oh, what's the use? Clay will be Clay and I'll be glad...

[playbiller]

The ratings are dropping, and with that, off to the dog park

[ldyjocelyn]

The "Hannah Loves Clay" clip is here at Clack Unlimited. Thanks to AustenClayFan! It's cute.....

[cindilu2]

FYI, the part where Hannah says 'I love you Claaaay' is right at the end. It's exceedingly cute, but also very quick and not very loud. She's a sly one, our Lady.

PSA, fellow Canadians! I just got an email from Montana's Cookhouse (birthday club member - don't ask ) saying that they are participating in the TAP Project! Same deal as the US endeavour, just that the proceeds go to Unicef Canada. Woohoo!!!!!

Dear (me)

The TAP Project celebrates the clean and accessible tap water available as an everyday privilege to millions, and helps UNICEF provide safe drinking water to children around the world.

Visit your local Montana's Cookhouse March 22-29.

Beginning on World Water Day, we will be inviting our Guests to add $1 to their bill for the TAP water they would normally get for free.

A single glass of water can make a difference. Together we can save millions.

[cha cha trusty]

Goldarngirl and FromClaygary- have a fabulous time in NYC!!

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!

It's gonna be awesome!! You guys please send updates and pictures ASAP!

I hope the weather holds out - it's like 70 here today!!

BON VOYAGE!!!

[cha cha trusty]

Sorry if I made you feel like you stepped in it Cindilu...didn't mean to. I was kinda distracted and perhaps wrote too quickly. Just wanted to say that there is something about board talk that bothers each and everyone one of us. LaJeterfan mentioned shipping..I know that is not Play's cup of tea either. Smut, personal talk (I try to contain myself on this one), strategery heh when it comes to Clay's career, the hair- or many other topics will not set well with someone but hopefully there's enough going on for each and person to enjoy while enduring those things that bug.

Company is gone and now I get to go clean..yippee.

Couchie - you forgot........

sorry merriieeeee! scroll past!

eta: couchie - great news about your cousin!!! Does that have anything to do with having a family of four for dinner last night? Just wondering!!

[cha cha trusty]

I knew the note was from Herbert right off!

Show off!

That was one of the bits that was in the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" - which I saw years and years ago. I bought the 25th anniversary version of it on DVD just recently and watched it again. Very very silly movie! It even starts out with a bit about Sweden, which I think evolved into the "Finland, Finland, Finland" song, because it sounds more like "England" that "Sweden" does! It also has the monks walking across hitting their heads with big books! The minstrels and Sir Robin in the forest is virtually the same as well.

I highly recommend anyone to get this movie and watch it!

Another couple of good ones are the Rutles I and II. They are spoofs of the Beatles, written by Eric Idle. The man's a very silly man! And a comic genius, IMO!

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

eta: ooops! I'm glad we have no post ho rules here!! I didn't realize no one else was posting while I am catching up. I'm still a few pages behind. And now I'm going to my niece's to color Easter eggs! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[luckiest1]

Hee, after much searching, I finally found a clip of the movie on YouTube that actually shows Prince Herbert shooting the arrow out the window (at the very end). It also shows the guard scene that Clay now plays in Spamalot. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE9StK1HIos...feature=related

[merrieeee]

My cha cha aren't we funny!!!

[liney23]

I knew the note was from Herbert right off!

Show off!

That was one of the bits that was in the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" - which I saw years and years ago. I bought the 25th anniversary version of it on DVD just recently and watched it again. Very very silly movie! It even starts out with a bit about Sweden, which I think evolved into the "Finland, Finland, Finland" song, because it sounds more like "England" that "Sweden" does! It also has the monks walking across hitting their heads with big books! The minstrels and Sir Robin in the forest is virtually the same as well.

I highly recommend anyone to get this movie and watch it!

Another couple of good ones are the Rutles I and II. They are spoofs of the Beatles, written by Eric Idle. The man's a very silly man! And a comic genius, IMO!

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

eta: ooops! I'm glad we have no post ho rules here!! I didn't realize no one else was posting while I am catching up. I'm still a few pages behind. And now I'm going to my niece's to color Easter eggs! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

cha cha... I LOVE your quote signature! So true! And, I think Clay has learned that lesson well over these tumultuous (sp) years. I have too. It's just too much work to be someone you're not just to get people to like/love/approve of you.

Another story coming... tissue may be required...

My son is a fireman/paramedic. One of his fellow firemen died on the 10th of a very weird disease contracted while fighting last fall's wildfires. My son asked me to come to the memorial today. If you have never witnessed this, it is amazing. First, rigs and firemen from all over Southern California came. Some manned the firehouses so that all the city firefighters could go to the memorial. When you drove up to the church, two ladder rigs had their ladders up facing each other with a huge American flag draped between them. There were 20-30 rigs from all over parked in a row.

We went in and waited with the families of the firemen. Firemen from elsewhere formed an avenue for the limos of the family and the engines/rigs to go thru. There was a colorguard of firemen holding flags from all over and bagpipes. Once the limos had dropped off the immediate family (three teenagers and their mother), the engines paraded and 3 helicopers flew overhead as part of the parade. The colorguard and the bagpipes escorted the family to their seats.

The funeral was inspiring. All the speakers, almost to a man, reiterated that firemen take care of their own and this family would want for nothing they could provide for them. What got me to tears, tho, was a video shown. The fireman had died in a hospital in San Diego. When it was time to bring his body back, the hearse was escorted by two fire engines. On EVERY SINGLE OVERPASS between SD and home, there was a fire engine parked and its firemen crew standing on top of it saluting. OMG. That just touched me so much!

It was an experience I hope never to witness again, but what an honor to have seen it.

Live your life with gusto cause NOBODY knows how long they have on this earth! Love, live, learn!

[bottlecap]

liney, how very moving.

When you drove up to the church, two ladder rigs had their ladders up facing each other with a huge American flag draped between them.

I first saw firetrucks displaying a huge flag like this when we attended a community memorial service immediately after 9-11. Unforgettable.

[Claygasm]

Hello?

Anyone home??

Its so quiet in here tonight!

No Spam reports??

Nothing?

Nada??

**crickets....lots of crickets...**

[ldyjocelyn]

liney, thanks for the story. Amazing, and moving....

CG, I've been busy watching Lost!

merrieeee, is this better?

[Couch Tomato]

Hello?

Anyone home??

Its so quiet in here tonight!

No Spam reports??

Nothing?

Nada??

**crickets....lots of crickets...**

I'm home but I'm working. That NYC trip is breathing down my neck! But it feels good!

[Claygasm]

liney, thanks for the story. Amazing, and moving....

CG, I've been busy watching Lost!

merrieeee, is this better?

Isn't Lost amazing???????

And I ADORE that picture. That may be my all time favorite Clay look!

Couchie work hard! Only about a month to go!

[Gibby]

YUMMMMMM, I LURVE that picture. It needs to be posted again. He's gorgemous! And dweamy! And delish!

Thanks for sharing that moving story, Liney.

Another concert done tonight. I wouldn't mind doing a couple of concerts and a couple of church services all in one week if they were the same, but every single one is different. Ah, well, it will all be over soon, and I'll be in New Yawk!! I'll be there without my kids, and with a wonderful husband and a brand new camera. YAY!!!!

[Gibby]

This pic from NCClayfan at CV cracks me up:

And Jemock's recap from the CH is pretty funny, too:

Allrighty then. Here’s my recap.

I went to the special Spamathirdsary performance on Tuesday, March 18 in the Year of Our Lord Two-Thousand-Aught-Eight.

First I had to get to NYC from central Texas, which is no small feat. I think I could have gotten there quicker from Ulaanbator, but that’s ok. The important thing is that they serve $5 cocktails on the flight.

Got to LaGuardia, took limo to the W. The W is a good place to stay--very convenient to the theatres. Don’t touch the munchy bar though--there’s $8 candy bars in there fercrissake. And a Three Musketeers doesn’t go back in the package very well when you see the price list after you already ate a couple of bites, have a heart attack and try to spit the remains back inside the wrapper. It might have worked if I had had some Scotch tape, though.

Let’s see. We went to the Museum of Natural History because I wanted to see the squid and the whale. Because I saw that movie “The Squid and The Whale.” But apparently the squid and the whale resolved their differences or got tired of fighting or were playing hard to get, since they were hanging around from the ceilings of different rooms, not even looking at each other. When did that happen? Don’t tell me if it was in the mid-70s, I feel out of touch enough already.

Went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Asked the owner lady at the front desk if Clay was there. She said yeah, first floor, south side. So I looked all over for him, but didn’t see anything except a bunch of old pottery. So then I looked for a picture of Clay, because God knows, they’ve got pictures of everything else in there, including some things that need underwear. But no Clay, not even the artsy-fartsy Rolling Stone B&W. What’s the deal with that?

There was a big St. Patrick’s day parade on Monday, and let me tell you something. Good lord! I haven’t seen so many drunk, passed out, deelie-bobber-wearing people since a Clay Aiken non-dress-code-mandated concert.

Saw “Chicago” on Sunday night. It was good, but Clay wasn’t in it. Bought some honey-roasted cashews from a street vendor. Upon deep and significant reflection, I’ve decided I could, with only mild reticence, kill a man with my bare hands for a $2 bag of those nuts. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Went to “Spamalot” on Tuesday. Got a playbill with a SPECIAL THIRD ANNIVERSARY pair of 3-D glasses, which was a very nice bonus, because I’ve been needing some new glasses. I wish they were bifocals, though, because I’m having trouble reading the computer screen with them on. I keep getting vertigo and falling out of my 3-D chair onto the 2-D floor.

Actual recap of show appears HERE: This was the one and only time I’m seeing Spamalot, so I can’t do an involved compare/contrast or tell you how much funner this one was than the others or whether there was “more energy” or whether the audience was NJUs or INTJs or ASCAPs or what. What I do know is that it is a very funny show, and a very good ensemble production. All the parts were played well, IMO, including Clay. He was cute and funny, although I thought his speaking voice got kinda shrill in one part for a couple of lines which almost made me develop a mild facial tic and made the hair on my arms stand up a bit, but he lowered his voice several octaves for the lines following that and then I was good to go. I looked around to see if anybody else noticed, but the whole audience was yukking it up in a big way, so I relaxed and smoothed my arm hair back down. Other than that, I thought he was really really good. His singing was very good. His dancing was good. Everybody was real good. It was good.

Footnote: I enjoyed it tremendously, but for those of you who can’t make it to NYC (and it is a VERY expensive trip for most people), rest assured that you can and will continue to lead a meaningful existence without ever having seen it.

I wasn’t going to do the stage door because (1) I already have a butt-load of signed stuff, (2) I’ve gotten way more chances to see him up close and talk to him than most people, and (2) I was afraid Jerome would see me. But I ended up standing at the very outside perimeter of the stage door group, which looked pretty darn big to me. I counted about nine people between me and the barricades. I could see the top of Clay’s head when he came out, and I can say with 100% certainty that the top of his head looked read good and extremely talented.

But just before Clay came out is where things got a little whacked out, in a mildly-eyebrow-raising kind of way. My position on the outside of the crowd gave me a unique perspective, I believe. I’m so lucky that way. If I had been thinking, I would have called lyricAKP and gave her a blow-by-blow WTFcert of the following stage-door fan antics. That would have been way cool, in a stupid nobody-but-me-thinks-this-is-interesting kinda way.

This woman walked up to my left side and started breast-stroking her way through the large crowd like Tarzan (Johnny Weismueller, not the other one) speed-swimming through a river of crocodiles, saying “EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GET THROUGH EXCUSE ME GOTTA GET UP FRONT SORRY EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME” and I don’t know who she is or if she posts on a message board or is Clay’s newest fake girlfriend, I have no idea. But this story needs to be told, because I feel I have received an ordained commandment from God to document every Clay Aiken WTF moment I personally witness. You’re welcome.

Anywhoo, I stood there watching this woman unabashedly push and shove her way through the crowd to finally claim a spot within reach of the barricade. And I thought “Well, that’s one way to do it, I guess.” Hereinafter this fan will be called “Tarzan Rubber Chicken Lady”.

There was another woman, the Tarzan Rubber Chicken lady’s cohort, who was standing to my right, slightly behind me, holding a camera and offering sincere words of encouragement to Tarzan Rubber Chicken Lady. Cohort Lady must have heard my eyes roll out of their sockets, because she turned to me and with a look of abject pity for my obvious and egregious lack of understanding, said to me “I’m sorry about my friend pushing and shoving her way to the front.” I looked at her and blinked twice. She continued, saying “It’s IMPORTANT that she get to the FRONT because she has a RUBBER CHICKEN for CLAY to SIGN. It’s a RUB.BER CHIC.KEN and he NEEEEEDS to sign it. That’s why she pushing and shoving to the front. RUB.BER CHIC.KEN. SIGN. ”

She was waiting for a response from me, so I acted like I had a mild epiphany and then said …

drum roll…..

“Oh.”

That oughtta show her. But she seemed satisfied that I had a weak grasp on the grave and serious nature of the situation, so she stopped talking to me and starting gesticulating and mouthing stuff to the Tarzan Rubber Chicken Lady (“TRCL“). Apparently the TRCL wanted Explanation Lady (previously known as “Cohort Lady”) to come up to the barricade with her, since Explanation Lady was also Video Documentary Lady. Explanation Lady was grandly gesturing to TRCL that she shouldn’t come up there because she was too tall. “Damn her genes” I thought. I was watching the two of them carry on for a few minutes (Clay hadn’t come out yet) and then I finally turned to Explanation Lady and told her that she could have my spot if it was important to her. She got big ‘ol puppy dog eyes and said, “Oh nooooo, it’s ok” and gave me a look that rivaled dejected Prince Herbert‘s. So I said “no, it’s ok, go ahead” and she happily jumped in front of me just as Clay came out of the door. She moved a grand total of about 7 inches closer, but she seemed happy about it. Well, at least she was standing in front of SOMEBODY, I guess.

Anyway, I gazed at Clay’s glorious corn-silky hair through her armpit. I momentarily considered pathetically waving my SPECIAL THIRD ANNIVERSARY SPAMALOT 3-D COLLECTIBLE CERTIFICATE from way back there while crying out ‘CLAAAAAAY CLAAAAAAY CLAAAAAAAY PLEASE SIGN MY SPECIAL THIRD ANNIVERSARY SPAMALOT 3-D COLLECTIBLE CERTIFCATE CLAAAAAAAY” but then I realized I was hungry, so I left.

He looked real good, though. From what I could see.

I did some more stuff in NYC and then came home. I’m ready for a tour, now.

[Meesa]

Gibby - I would have done that too if the bus wasn't moving when we saw it! PuddinsJoy and I saw Clay everywhere. And when we got off the train going back to Marilyn's? Another ad was right there!

I got this video when we were leaving our hotel.

[Couch Tomato]

I absolutely adore that picture of her kissing the bus. I want to kiss the bus.

So I had the best laugh today. I called my sister at work and it seemed like a party was going on. But I guess there was a lot of laughing going on at the expense of one of their co workers who had sent out an email meant for one..well she sent it in mass to 5000 people... and it was all about how March Madness started today. You know that Southwest commercial? Wanna get away? My sister said the follow up emails all day were just hysterical...stuff like... sorry can't answer now, I'm filling out my brackets; ooh girl can't worry about that right now..am worried about my warriors but I'll catch you at the final four; ooh thanks for the reminder; and my favorite...I didn't get the attachment. heee. And of course one person sent out a scolding email that said that didn't need to go out to everyone especially the executive committee..and she's not even on the executive committee. Brown noser. I just really got a good chuckle off that one. Damn USC. That teeny bit of love I had left for that school just disappeared after their loss tonight.