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Being neighborly


playbiller
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IS it me? For years I have had close friendships with my neighbors, then the couple that lived in their house sould it to peo;e who fel free to violate my every right - but that is at home. here at the beah I get alng with everyone, loan out my tools, give people tomatoaes in the summer. When I first moved here, my neighbors shared the shower set up but then they sold it to thier niece and nephew, who proceeded to turn of my water 3 times, once when I was here and had the hot water heater on (could have been very expensive for me) - they got angry at me because when I came to see them I was a bit angry as I was going into my shower and was undresses with no water and had to get dressed while still sandy. it is one thing for people to turn off your water while you are not there, and another while you are in the trailer.

So yesterday, I didn't see anyone around thier trailer and we share a small space wth 2 clothes lines, and these still relatively new neighbors put up a big deck wall the blocked the sun from my clothes line last year and I wanted to get to the beach early, so I hung my suit on their line which I have not blocked the sun. I get up and it is still there, walk the dog, and come back and find my bathing sit in a pile on the onespot on my deck that is wet from the night and a towel where my suit was - now there are 4 lines and the towel only takes one. I think this is an act of hostlity. First they tell me I can no longer share the out door shower with them because the bought the nozzle, even though years ago I bought the brass fixture that turns water off and on for that shower. I went to talke tothenm and no one was in their trailer, I guess I will have to go tonight. I won't threaten to take the baby clothes they always put on my line when theirs is full and putit on the shower floor, I may un hook it and put it on their line though. No, I won't, I can't be as bitchy as others. In another hour my suit will be dry again. Guess I should have taken it off the line before I walked the dog. I don't want to talk to people here about it because, well, I don't want to be the bitch. Most people here are share and share alike, you go and sit on their lawn chair, you borrow garlic, etc. I really don't know what is wrong with this one family.

just blowing off steam.

Someday I will rant on my home neighbors who have now built a fence on my property as their latest selfishness because I don't make myself enough of a presence. I miss my old neighbors pretty much everywhere. Maybe they spoiled me for what to expect. I told one I thought they were close to building on my property and they moved what they were building to accommodate my wishes, no argument or threats, just pleasant discussion. Or the neighbors who "gently" told me to mow my lawn once and then sat down and braided the grass - made me laugh, they loaned me their mower, we had just moved in and didn't have much in our first house. We shopped for each other when one was sick, watered each other's plants when someone was away, picked up each other's mail, etc. I had no idea that this was not the norm.

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Ha Playbiller... A notification about this topic just popped into my email and I thought I'd reply because it's rather timely. I too, have had some wonderful neighbors, in fact more often than not.

But a couple of months ago a portion of my fence fell down (and yes it is MY fence though it was already there and pretty much on it's last legs already when I bought the house 15 years ago...) So anyway, even though I mentioned to my neighbor that it wouldn't bother me to just take the whole thing down he told me that for about $100 he'd probably be able to fix it.

Long story short, he came over the other day and told me that the materials ended up being more than he'd anticipated so it was now going to cost me $165. So I sighed and wrote him a check. Imagine my chagrin when I went out there to disover the "old and rusty" green stakes he'd used to put the fence (that benefits both of us) back up, and of course the unsightly things were on my side.

What to do? Well, I suppose I could have majorly called him on it, but I guess I figure I've paid 'a whole lot more for less' in my time and I would have paid a lot more to have had a professional do it. At least my fence is back up. Still can't help but think how most of the neighbors I've had in my lifetime would have just pitched in out of "neighborly spirit."

Anyway, hang in there. Neighbors come in all shapes and [heart] sizes. I suppose you just have to weigh it all and determine if a small fight is worth an ongoing battle.

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I had to call my neighbors on turning off my house water, that was pretty bad and could have ended up costing me 500 dollars, I am going to speak about putting my dry bathing suit in a pile of water, but I will be nice as I can be about it.

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So, I went next door and knocked on the gate - did the owner come out to to talk to me no she sends an old guy out there who basically alls me a liar about the height of the locker that was constructed and i don't get to talk to anyone occupying the trailer, she just yelled to him to yell to e - that really makes me feel great - she denied she put my suit ina wet spot and didn't see hwat the big deal was, of course since she didn't have to wait another 2 hours for the suit to get dry enough to get into, of course it did not bother her. I feel very disrespected by how it was handled. Granted she was giving a party, well, she could have invited me to the pary, she could have done a lot of things besides shouting to the guy and lying. And of course my statements were not repeated to her and the idiot tried to lie about when the shed was built that blocks my sun and claimed it was the same height - well it is the same height, except they put a deck under it and raised it about a foot higher. I may just go and complain to the office tomorrow. I am totally angry again. time to take a good long walk with the dog.

Actually, I suspect that more than one family is using that trailer against the rules, there are the bay people, the dog girl, the older woman all at different times.

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Oh I have a few stories as well. But the one that angers me the most is when someone borrows something without asking, and invades my privacy in the process.

I found out that a neighbor had been frequently entering my property and borrowing my things, using them and then returning them before I got home from work. Other neighbors who saw him assumed he had my permission, since he did it so often. Finally, another neighbor mentioned it to me as this neighbor saw it for the first time and as she knew I was not fond of that person, she was surprised he simply walked in and out at will. I won't repeat what I had to say to him when I took him to task on it. Everyone who knows me knows I am happy to share anything I have with anyone because I really am not attached to material possession, but I want to be asked first. He could have called me at work, or he could have left a note in my mail box asking permission. He never even informed me that he had been to my place, borrowed an item. It was all sneakily done and his excuse when I finally confronted him was that I said I didn't mind lending my things. He seemed totally oblivious to the fact that I considered it an invasion of privacy.

I now lock everything. Wanna borrow something? ASK FIRST.

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I've been having issues with one set of my neighbors as well. My biggest comlaint is with music and television BLASTING at all hours, so loud that I can hear it (and feel it) over my own, even with the heat or ac running, the dishwasher and/ or washer/dryer going. I can't even open my windows because the noise is even worse, especially when they're partying out on the balcony, which is often. They are completely oblivious to anyone but themselves.

More recently, one of their cars now has something wrong with the sun roof so they decided to start parking in the carports - both of their cars. Granted, most of the spots in the section across from our building are empty, but it is an option that you're supposed to pay for. I do and do not appreciate others taking advantage of it for free. Several times in the past few months when I've run home at lunch, I've found them parked in MY ASSIGNED space! I went to the management and a few days later they moved one car. I can only hope that they're now being charged to keep parking the other one over there. Their friends even park in the carports!

So, being nice and confronting in person has done no good. Going to the management has done no good. Even getting the police involved multiple times (when music/partying goes into the middle of the night) has done no good. I feel like my only option is to move when my lease is up to get away from these people. I've been a good tenant for 5 years and that evidently means zilch.

IMO, it all comes down to respect and common courtesy - two things that too many people seem to have forgotten in this day & age.

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I guess I'm pretty lucky. I only know my immediate neighbours (on either side) but I haven't had much trouble with them. On the right we used to have a single guy who was pretty private, but friendly. He moved after his house was broken into while we were all at work/school. Now it is inhabited by a retired couple who are quite friendly. I can count on them to keep an eye on my house when I am away, etc. On the other side are a family with teenagers...sometimes they play loud music late at night, and my son is convinced that the oldest son is selling drugs out of the house (and that the parents know but don't do anything about it) but so far, no major problems with them, and it's been 7 years. Sometimes, they even cut the joint front lawn for us (and we reciprocate)! :)

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Yeah, I used to have that I have that at the beach with the people next to me, but they can''t see the other side of my trailer. I keep them on alert when I get work done, as they saw the guy break into my trailer last year, but he had a plumber truck and they thought I was having repairs. In exchange, I let them use my parking spot when I am not there. I really do have a good relation with all the beach neighbors except the one behind me. I used to throw Easter egg hunts for the neighbor kids, but they all grew up and moved away. Everyone took care of everyone else's property when they were on vacation. I used to have people park in my driveway, but now everyone seems so busy with their own lives, it is not the same. The neighbors that built a fence on my yard (I am waiting for the surveyors for 2 more months for $600 worth of proof) have two young kids, but those kids like to stand in their yard and tease my dog until she barks so I have to bring her indoors. They are not only bad neighbors (all their neighbors hate them, I have talked to them) but they are bad parents -too much money too young.

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They got a new basketball :bigemo_harabe_net-24:

But you know I can live with that... but I just can't stand inconsiderate folks. The upstairs neighbors were always cool..but they have a bunch of people liviing with them now. And somebody up there smokes and just drops their cigarette butts on our patio. Sweeping out there this weekend..found 20 butts. This is a new phenomenom so it has to be them. And the day of the last basketball incident was the last time I swept out there and yep... lots of cigarette butts. I guess I'll be taking a walk upstairs and ask them to kindly KNOCK IT OFF.

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I like Huey Lewis & the News. Really, I do. But NOT when the drunken neigbors are out on their balcony, blasting the same song over and over and over and over, while singing along off key at the top of their lungs, which also gets their nasty little dog barking his fool head off.... :98:

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I must have missed the apartment complex memo that said a 12 pack and a radio automatically turn your balcony into a karaoke bar every night. :angry22: Just 2 more months... just 2 more months...

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After more than a year of trying, unsuccessfully, to get the next door neighbors to turn down the noise, which they've NEVER apologized for....

This morning, as I'm leaving for work, I find a note taped to my door apologizing for the noise Friday night, but it was her daughter's birthday, she would have been 30, blah, blah, blah, and her friends came over to console her.

:huh:

Really? Then which other dead relative's birthday has it been every other freaking time they've been partying like a bunch of loons?!

:fssign:

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After more than a year of trying, unsuccessfully, to get the next door neighbors to turn down the noise, which they've NEVER apologized for....

This morning, as I'm leaving for work, I find a note taped to my door apologizing for the noise Friday night, but it was her daughter's birthday, she
would have been 30
, blah, blah, blah, and her friends came over to console her.

:huh:

Really? Then which other dead relative's birthday has it been every other freaking time they've been partying like a bunch of loons?!

:fssign:

Gees and you are still sane?

I totally feel for you... when I lived in Sydney, I had neighbours who would party on a Sunday night, and the common wall I had with them was my bedroom. I didn't mind extended partying on Friday and Saturday nights, but Sunday nights for me was always quiet because of work on Monday. Whether I asked nicely or whether I snarled at them to turn down the noise, I got the same result - LOUDER noise.

I don't know if I can ever again live in a situation where I have to share a common wall with a neighbour, unless they were very elderly and never had visitors!!!

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the place we live is under new management. OMG I hate them. I do plan to move when the lease is up but that's not until January. They are now harrassing people around the pool area..making kids shut up. It's freaking summer and it's the middle of the day and it's freaking SUMMER. I see less maintenance and gardeners. They replaced our 65cents bottled sodas with $1.00 CANS. A dollar for one can of soda? Who knows what's next :cryingwlaughter:

Annabear you tell a good story. Good luck in your hunt for your condo.

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Moving was never my thing, I have a great deal of inertia. That people can drive you to move because they are rude and oblivious is bad. I was in my apartment for 12 years with mostly the same owners and fellow residents, my parents lived in the same house from when I was 6 until they died. This is my only house and I have not had many different neighbors in mumblety mump years, and so far only one I can't stand to talk to or deal with. Now, if I can only stop getting their packages and mail, so I have to bring them to them.

Good luck in your replacement hunt.

So is moving a good way to have to clean out stuff? I really should get rid of that wool jumper from Junior high and the man's polyester leisure suit (I kept it for blackmail until I forgot it was their) that are in the attic with the other clothes from my past in the attic along with too much stuff.

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That people can drive you to move because they are rude and oblivious is bad.

It really is. I've been here for 5 years and a lot of the neighbors are the same. This particular "family" moved in last spring. While I'd still be looking to buy eventually, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to get out if the community was still friendly and peaceful like it used to be. I'm just sick of coming home from work and having to listen to their tv or music over mine. Heck, I can't even take advantage of the nice weather, open my windows and turn the a/c off because the noise would be even worse.

I hear you on the management issues, Couchie. Ours is fairly new too and they're the other part of the reason I want to move. They've been completely ineffective in my neighbor situation and they've raised the rent almost 20%.

And, yes! Moving is a great way to clean out. I think the jumper and leisure suit may have seen better days, Play. :lol:

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well well well..our upstairs neighbors have MOVED OUT. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Annabear hee.

Anyway, they have always bothered the hell out of my mom with their bumpity bumpity bump...(I never hear anything heh...I honed that skill growing up..my dad could be yakking away about some such nonsense and I wouldn't hear a thing...that ability to tune out noise comes in real handy in life hee) and let's not forget that lately they actually play a nice game of hoops in the house. But they moved out of there like a shadow. How in hell can you move all your belongings out of the house and not make a sound. Hope whoever moves in next is not worse.

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Heeeee...Couchie, maybe they still owed rent!

The only time I ever lived in an apartment - because I cannot stand noise that I can't control, personal failing - I was spoiled because I lived on second floor, up above me was vacant for months. Then a mutli-family family moved in, they were okay, but due to shift work or something, someone was always up and walking heavily around. But there was a little enchanting girl who was teaching me some Spanish (i studied that in high school, but have forgotten lots) - she would bring me an orange and say

"nar-an-ha"and so forth.

Then they moved out, blessed silence, then a young couple moved in.

Bedroom right above mine. Just a mattress on the floor, they had not bought a bed yet.

First night - they got romantic, music and looooove.

But not for me - their speakers were placed such that I seriously thought Judy Collins and James Taylor might somehow be parked in my freaking closet - "I'VE LOOKED AT LOVE FROM BOTH SIDES NOW" "GOODNIGHT YOU MOOOOOOONLIGHT LADIES!!!!!" and then it sounded like the mattress was gonna get pounded through the ceiling.

And they had a large restless dog (illegally) that paced a lot. I don't think it liked the music.

So I moved out to a tiny house that cost 14,500 - I could have charged it a couple of years ago! But then it was a big deal, because I was a divorced single woman with a child, the first bank would not even speak to me. Seriously.

Anyways, enjoy the quiet!

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Heh, I was the noisy neighbor inmy apartment. I livced on a top floor of a victorian - but nothing I could do was good enough, Get a rug - got a rug, don't wear shoes, I didn't wear shoes (often) inside. For some reason, it was as if my apartment magnified the noise. I was accused of playing guitar late in the night - didn't have a guitar. Was accused of making noise at 3 AM one night, I was on vacation in Mass...I do believe there was noise, I just think they had the direction wrong some of the time. maybe it was the ghost of other tennants. I think the whole place was just noisy - so after 12 years of complaints we bought a house and moved out - the landlord cursed me out for not giving them more than 2 months notice. They were the ones who would not renew the lease though.

Noisy neighbors are not fun and I am really sorry forthe noise we made, it was not fair, and I do believe we made more than our share of noise, just not exactly the same noises as were reported. Oddly enough, I wasfriends with the people who lived on the first floor who complained about the people on the second. Heh.

Congratulations Couchie, may you win better in the next neighbor lottery.

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well well well..our upstairs neighbors have MOVED OUT. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful Annabear hee.

:nono2:

:lol:

That's good news, Couchie! I wouldn't wish crappy neighbors on anyone. Well, maybe only for other crappy neighbors. Heh.

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Heeeee...Couchie, maybe they still owed rent!

The only time I ever lived in an apartment - because I cannot stand noise that I can't control, personal failing - I was spoiled because I lived on second floor, up above me was vacant for months. Then a mutli-family family moved in, they were okay, but due to shift work or something, someone was always up and walking heavily around. But there was a little enchanting girl who was teaching me some Spanish (i studied that in high school, but have forgotten lots) - she would bring me an orange and say

"nar-an-ha"and so forth.

Then they moved out, blessed silence, then a young couple moved in.

Bedroom right above mine. Just a mattress on the floor, they had not bought a bed yet.

First night - they got romantic, music and looooove.

But not for me - their speakers were placed such that I seriously thought Judy Collins and James Taylor might somehow be parked in my freaking closet - "I'VE LOOKED AT LOVE FROM BOTH SIDES NOW" "GOODNIGHT YOU MOOOOOOONLIGHT LADIES!!!!!" and then it sounded like the mattress was gonna get pounded through the ceiling.

And they had a large restless dog (illegally) that paced a lot. I don't think it liked the music.

So I moved out to a tiny house that cost 14,500 - I could have charged it a couple of years ago! But then it was a big deal, because I was a divorced single woman with a child, the first bank would not even speak to me. Seriously.

Anyways, enjoy the quiet!

Hee djs111 This reminds me of when I was a kid one of our neighbours (teen) used to play "video killed the radio star" and "born to be alive" at full blast through his open bedroom window but only in the daytime thank goodness. I think they were the only two songs he owned! I immediately remember him if ever I hear those songs.

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I'm feeling very discouraged and down about an incident that happened recently. We live in a very small town (20 houses) in rural Ontario. On the weekend our neighbours two dogs got out of their fenced yard. They ended up in our yard where we happen to have a small chicken coop with 3 hens (the kids collect the eggs). The dogs damaged the coop, and killed one of the chickens. I chased the dogs off, called the owners and basically got no response other than ' oh yea, I heard them barking and I wondered what they were doing'.

So now it's 4 days later. I've since reported the incident to the township, and they said the dog owners will get a fine for having dogs 'running at large', but they are unable to do anything about our chicken, which I knew. Last night, hubby was outside working on the vehicle when the owner of the dogs went down the road, looking for them again, because they had escaped the yard.

I'm amazed that these people have not apologized, offered to pay for the damage, or showed any concern at all that THEIR dogs caused damage to our property. It is just beyond me that people are like this. I would be mortified if my dog did that and would be offering to replace the hen, and repair the damage to the coop! I'm not sure why, but this really upsets me.

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