#52: "He doesn't need the spotlight. He just glows."

[preden]

Had to work a double shift at hospital last night, went well, some extra money for the gala, lol!!!

[preden]

Great pics bottlecap. I like the little guy's attitude!

memyb Getting excited about Gala?

:thbighug-1:

Yes I am getting excited about the Gala! Actually, nervous about grabbing a ticket!

Will probably be harder to come by this time, but we will see!

If I do not get a gala ticket, I will go grab a new monitor for sure as if I am stuck home I will need to see Clay clearly. .

And you are right, draging this prehistoric huge one I have here to the techno dump will be a pain.

You people would laugh out loud if you saw the monitor I am using now.

Of course the darn thing does work so it is hard to justify buying another one!

(besides, I am too cheap)

I totally understand about getting excited about gala! Can't wait to have my flight booked. That double shift money will come in handy for expenses. can't wait to see you there and others!

[FromClaygary]

I totally understand about getting excited about gala! Can't wait to have my flight booked. That double shift money will come in handy for expenses. can't wait to see you there and others!

Ahhhh.....getting PAID for overtime! What a cool and unique concept! Must be a union thing?

[bottlecap]

I was going to grump about only hearing Daughtry over the casino muzak since we've been here. But lo and behold, while sitting down to breakfast and chatting to the waitress about how the Windsor city workers are on strike, some familiar notes start to play. "Whatcha doing tonight?...." Quiet EEEE's and a few subtle shirt tugs ensued. Hearing "Invisible" almost makes up for losing a few bucks in the slots.

Now if we could only get Clay here (or anywhere) for an actual concert, all would be really well.

[Desertrose]

I'd love to "chill" but I am having my bathrooms remodeled next week and I have to do stuff. I think i'm nuts! I have three bathrooms that I am having new countertops and repainted all at the same time!!! DH comes home says get this done and leaves! So who is left to do all the scheduling, phoning and waiting around for contractors........yep me! oh well at least he is paying *g*

99 days! eeeee

I am going through the same thing. I am having two bathrooms completely remodeled. One is half done, and I dread when they start on the other one. I had the material, tile and all the stuff in my garage for a month and kept putting it off. I finally let them start, and I am not too happy with some of the tile work. The remodeling had to be done because I had a water leak, in one and in the other one, the tile was in dire straits. I have no DH so I have to deal with contractors who roll their eyes and think that I do not know what I am talking about, and I also have to pay for everything myself. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that home ownership is highly overrated! Like Cindy Lauper sings, "I just want to have fun." Before I became a widow, home ownership was so much simpler for me. DH took care of all this junk.

[Scarlett]

Ahhhh.....getting PAID for overtime! What a cool and unique concept! Must be a union thing?

There's some good and and some not so good things about overtime pay and vacation days and healthcare and everything.

*wants to view the TV Medley 'Facts of Life' but computer's still rendering the Classics*

[preden]

I totally understand about getting excited about gala! Can't wait to have my flight booked. That double shift money will come in handy for expenses. can't wait to see you there and others!

Ahhhh.....getting PAID for overtime! What a cool and unique concept! Must be a union thing?

Yes overtime plus an incentive bonus, frankly I wouldn't have done it if it weren't that I was forced to do it, we can't leave patients without a nurse. But it will be worth the effort to see clay. Just back from soccer game, going for a nap before next game at 3:30hrs. What we don't do for our children.

[jmh123]

I was at Smokey Robinson concert tonight. It was fabulous!! When he introduced the band Savon (sp) was playing the keyboards. Was kind of cool to see him again.

YAY--how very cool!!

Good thoughts going to all of you caretakers of elderly parents and othe relatives. I remember Clay speaking at the Caretakers meeting and how much he admired what all of you do on a regular basis.

And when I heard it I never for one second thought that ever would be me. One more good thing Clay has done for me--prepare me for this.

[treenuts]

Good thoughts going to all of you caretakers of elderly parents and othe relatives. I remember Clay speaking at the Caretakers meeting and how much he admired what all of you do on a regular basis.

And when I heard it I never for one second thought that ever would be me. One more good thing Clay has done for me--prepare me for this.

So very true! One never imagines this will be a part of your adult repsonsibilities when you're young. At least I didn't. I'm grateful though that I at least still have one of my parents to care fore for!!

OT - I just get a feeling (nothing specific to base it on) that Clay may be in a funk right now both professionaly and personally and I want to send him a hug! Well, I'd love to hug him even if he's not in a funk, but just in case he really needs one too right now....

[Scarlett]

Good thoughts going to all of you caretakers of elderly parents and othe relatives. I remember Clay speaking at the Caretakers meeting and how much he admired what all of you do on a regular basis.

And when I heard it I never for one second thought that ever would be me. One more good thing Clay has done for me--prepare me for this.

So very true! One never imagines this will be a part of your adult repsonsibilities when you're young. At least I didn't. I'm grateful though that I at least still have one of my parents to care fore for!!

OT - I just get a feeling (nothing specific to base it on) that Clay may be in a funk right now both professionaly and personally and I want to send him a hug! Well, I'd love to hug him even if he's not in a funk, but just in case he really needs one too right now....

People tell me that I'm fortunate because my parents were able to live life to the fullest up until just a few months before passing on but I'm feeling strangely useless right now because I have no one to take care of and can just offer support to family and friends. I need to adopt a parent. It's a good thing my new church has plenty of seniors.

Here are a few more hug icons:

:thbighug-1:

This is surely the least important of any issues anyone has here but my rice cooker broke down and stupid me automatically put a batch of bread in the breadmaker without thinking. I *really* want some rice today but now I have to wait for the bread to get done, think of something to use it for and only then head out across town (Houston is 50 miles wide = the width of the state of Israel) to Chinatown and hope to find a rice cooker that's both the right kind and is NOT big enough to feed a family of 10. Do Asian stores ever carry anything just right for 1 person?!!

[jmh123]

People tell me that I'm fortunate because my parents were able to live life to the fullest up until just a few months before passing on but I'm feeling strangely useless right now because I have no one to take care of and can just offer support to family and friends. I need to adopt a parent. It's a good thing my new church has plenty of seniors.

Here are a few more hug icons:

:thbighug-1:

I've heard the same from my BFF. As for adopting a parent, believe me it would be much appreciated!

This is surely the least important of any issues anyone has here but my rice cooker broke down and stupid me automatically put a batch of bread in the breadmaker without thinking. I *really* want some rice today but now I have to wait for the bread to get done, think of something to use it for and only then head out across town (Houston is 50 miles wide = the width of the state of Israel) to Chinatown and hope to find a rice cooker that's both the right kind and is NOT big enough to feed a family of 10. Do Asian stores ever carry anything just right for 1 person?!!

I've been able to find the smaller ones in a specialty grocery store, one of the big ones that has food plus plus--like dishes and silverware and tray tables, etc.--someplace like Wegmans in the NY/PA area. And once awhile, even in an oriental store. I was kicking myself for leaving mine in Japan for the next person to occupy my apt., until I found one in Wegmans.

[treenuts]

Scarlett, I won't let you adopt her but I'd be more than happy to "share" my mommy with you! I know she'd LOVE the company and attention, not to mention she's a h00t to hang with... even at 87!! Ya just have to remember to plan for plenty of additional space when traveling for her 1,001 assorted pills/medication.

[Claysmelody]

Hi!! After a few days of frustration, finally got my blog fixed--mostly.

The blog 'Love from Around the World' totally disappeared, so redid it and added a bunch of new things.

Also added a new blog yesterday of Clay's X-Factor, and updated my header. I do get into messing around modes!

Stop over for a visit, would be great to see you

Ashes-Clay the Man

[Desertrose]

Scarlett, if you can not adopt her, you can have me. I am in Houston, so that should make it easy for you. Have suitcase, will travel.

[Scarlett]

treenuts and desertrose, you probably don't mean any harm but I don't particularly find elderly care and jokes about people's needs as they age to be any laughing matter. I know I am very fortunate to have grown children, good friends, a company that still provides medical care to its retirees and a very active church group that supports its members.

the care team at our church is so efficient that even while I was still an occasional visitor and I just casually mentioned I had been in a hospital, they immediately offered to send people to help me with transportation, food delivery and other needs. Not everyone is that lucky and there are real people out there who need help, don't have the means to pay for special care and have no one to depend on.

this board serves a fandom whose members are at or close to the time when parent care is a critical need. then in a few years, they themselves will need this type of care. who will help provide for them? these are people who have been and continue to be generous with various causes, from mosquito nets to actors' retirement funds to youth camps to safe drinking water.

at some point in our lives we will all find ourselves at the receiving end of this deal, and not necessarily because of age alone. the way the world works is that the strong and independent one day could easily be the weak and the helpless the next.

just mho

ETA: desertrose, :thbighug-1:

[Desertrose]

treenuts and desertrose, you probably don't mean any harm but I don't particularly find elderly care and jokes about people's needs as they age to be any laughing matter. I know I am very fortunate to have grown children, good friends, a company that still provides medical care to its retirees and a very active church group that supports its members.

the care team at our church is so efficient that even while I was still an occasional visitor and I just casually mentioned I had been in a hospital, they immediately offered to send people to help me with transportation, food delivery and other needs. Not everyone is that lucky and there are real people out there who need help, don't have the means to pay for special care and have no one to depend on.

this board serves a fandom whose members are at or close to the time when parent care is a critical need. then in a few years, they themselves will need this type of care. who will help provide for them? these are people who have been and continue to be generous with various causes, from mosquito nets to actors' retirement funds to youth camps to safe drinking water.

at some point in our lives we will all find ourselves at the receiving end of this deal, and not necessarily because of age alone. the way the world works is that the strong and independent one day could easily be the weak and the helpless the next.

just mho

Sorry, I did not mean to be flip. I do have elderly parents, father 93, mother 90. Father is healthy, but mother is in a foster home with Alzheimer disease. We tried to take care of her at home, but it was stressing my father too much. She was very difficult and kept kicking my father out of the house. She also was afraid of water, so she would not let us bathe her. We found out that home health nurses do not force patients to do anything they do not want to do. She also has osteoporosis and her bones break easily, so we had to treat her with kid gloves and could only do what she allowed us to do. We could only give her sponge baths for three years. Where she is now, they know how to handle her and she gets a bath every day. The home she is in is really good, and the caregivers are angels. I totally understand what you are saying since I cared for my husband at home until the day he died. He was not elderly, but had ALS Lou Gehrig's disease. He was easier to care for because even though he was completely paralyzed and could not talk, his mind worked perfectly and he allowed us to do anything that we could to help him.

Again, sorry if I offended you. I should have not been so thoughtless because I have gone through this more than once. I can tell you that what you say that one day we could easily be the weak and helpless is so true. My husband was the strongest person I knew before he got ALS.. At least he had me. I am so glad that your church was able to help you when you needed help. I had a bad experience when I had extensive foot surgery and could not get out of bed. I did not have real food, but lived on Ensure that I kept in a cooler by my bed for four days, because I had no one to help me. The only time I made it out of bed was to go to bathroom, which was not a lot since I was not eating. The worst part is that the Ensure was chocolate and I spilled a can all over me and all over my bed. I managed to change my night gown, but could not change the bed sheets so I felt like I was lying in poop. I can tell you that I had a real pity party. That was my rude awakening that I was really all by myself now.

[Scarlett]

desertrose, :thbighug-1: We're all in there/have been/will be.

(moved my ETA here because I didn't realize we'd gone to another page)

[Couch Tomato]

I've been a caregiver since 2001. I remember that because it was my first taste of it - my mom had one of the worst case of shingles ever. She literally was too ill to get out of bed through 9/11 and for at least the next 3 months after. Since then there have been a nonstop stream of illness - one after the other. And honestly, sometimes to get through it all -- you have to find some levity - you have to scream and shout - you have to let off steam. I still giggle thinking of that knife sticking in my mom's butt when she fell in the kitchen. LOL. And tonight I IM'd Cindilu that I wanted to throttle my mom. She so knows how to manipulate me and get away with it. My sister doesn't let her get away with such things. It gets frustrating sometimes. It's also burdensome and all those other emotions that you're not supposed to feel for the people that you love. But yeah I also need an angel of mercy to come help me sometimes. Like...tomorrow?

I really have such respect for people who are professional caregivers. It's the always having to be there aspect -- and really it's the same respect I have for parents. I still don't know how people do it - and can honestly say I am so happy to be an auntie. Kudos to all the parents out there. I think these two "jobs" are the toughest in the world.

[Scarlett]

Hee, couchie! I could use a free trip to the Bay Area!!!

But really, if you should need some in-house care, try the local community particularly in Daly City. Maybe emmasage (is she still around?) can make some inquiries.

OTOH, if you're able to sit more than 2 people, it may be a good way to get something extra. I think the going rate in NYC is $120 for 12 hours of care, though my cousin's friend in Chicago who got paralyzed on her entire left side was able to find an negotiate a good price -- $150/a day for 24-hour help (the person stays with them).

Does anyone else know of the current rates in various cities?

[Desertrose]

I've been a caregiver since 2001. I remember that because it was my first taste of it - my mom had one of the worst case of shingles ever. She literally was too ill to get out of bed through 9/11 and for at least the next 3 months after. Since then there have been a nonstop stream of illness - one after the other. And honestly, sometimes to get through it all -- you have to find some levity - you have to scream and shout - you have to let off steam. I still giggle thinking of that knife sticking in my mom's butt when she fell in the kitchen. LOL. And tonight I IM'd Cindilu that I wanted to throttle my mom. She so knows how to manipulate me and get away with it. My sister doesn't let her get away with such things. It gets frustrating sometimes. It's also burdensome and all those other emotions that you're not supposed to feel for the people that you love. But yeah I also need an angel of mercy to come help me sometimes. Like...tomorrow?

I really have such respect for people who are professional caregivers. It's the always having to be there aspect -- and really it's the same respect I have for parents. I still don't know how people do it - and can honestly say I am so happy to be an auntie. Kudos to all the parents out there. I think these two "jobs" are the toughest in the world.

Couchie,

You made me laugh out loud with the knife story. I know it should not be funny, and it surely was not funny for your mom, but sometimes levity is the only thing that can help us through the tough times. Once when hubby and I were at the Baylor College of Medicine in a room with several ALS patients who were waiting to see if they were going to get on the experimental drug trial, one of the other patients wives was coaxing him to tell us a joke. He would not because he said it was racy. Then my husband said OK, I will tell a joke. Then all of these men who were terminally ill started telling dirty jokes, and we were laughing so hard that an orderly came out and said that we were too noisy and this was a school, and that we were disturbing the classroom. That made the men laugh even harder because they were dying, and they could still manage to get thrown out of places.

Being a caregiver is exactly the way you say. Most of us are just human and not angels, and the feelings and emotions that you experience are what most of us have experienced when we were where you are.

I hope that you find an angel to help you soon. We found one in the case of my mother. My father would probably not be alive if we had not found our angel.

[ncgurrl]

I just love the way the University of California (campus and system) waits until Friday afternoon to make big announcements. The furlough/salary reduction plan Came out late yesterday. It still has to be approved by the Regents. Right now it looks like I will be getting a 5% pay cut which equals 13 furlough days for the year. It is a tiered plan so those making more money will get up to 10% cut. My son works for the state and is being hit with a 15% cut. The whole thing is a bit of a slight of hand as we are have not been getting any merit or cost of living raises. Some senior admins have gotten raises so their cuts will just be a wash.

[cha cha trusty]

Sorry, I haven't been here for a few days and am hopelessly behind...

to all who need them and

to all I've missed!

[FearofH2O]

It's been interesting reading your caretaker stories. My only experience was with my MIL who would spend half the year with us and half the year with her dayghter in DC. She was able to afford a private nurse during the day while we worked. She would only let my husband help her in the evenings so all the stress was on him.

Last night on P.O.V. on one of our PBS stations they had a documentary about a young musician who suffered a brain hemorrhage while on a gig. He ended in a totally unresponsive state. After a while the doctors suggested he be put in a nursing home. His extended family, wife, sister, parents and others, decided to bring him home. Amazing story of how much they gave of themselves because they saw something of his personality in his shell of a body.

Here is a trailer: p.o.v.- Life,Support, Music

It looks like you can watch it on line at that website. It kept me up last night watching, as it came on just as I was heading off to bed.

[aikim]

Beautiful day here; sunshine, blue sky without a cloud...haven't had one of these for a while. Going to do some shopping today.

97 Days until The BAF Gala!

Everyone have a great day!

Kim

[jmh123]

My mom's back to her usual grouchy self. I guess this a good thing??