#54: Clay is like a box of chocolates (with a pickle on the side)

[muskifest]

I just hope no clayfans will show up at the funeral home. This is a private time for Clay and his family. It would be so disrespectful to want to be there at such a private occasion in Clay's life.

Oh, God. I hadn't thought of this but....I just KNOW there are some 'fans' who will think it's just fine to do just that. But I'll keep the faith and hope that good sense and decency will prevail.

You know, my mother is suffering from Alzheimers. I think the best gesture of compassion and sympathy someone could make when she dies is to send a donation in her honor to the Alzheimers Association. This disease has to be among the cruelest there is, and the idea that someone wanted to contribute to keeping the hope alive for a cure would mean the most to me.

[jmh123]

My mom woke up today thinking is was her birthday. Unfortunately she was sharp enough to read the date on the newspaper, and was crestfallen. "What happened to August?" she said.

I've been looking for things for her to do to keep her occupied in her diminished state. (And to stop her from scratching holes in her arms.) Last night we played a couple of games of Solitaire together. I had to help her out with a lot of really obvious moves, but she spotted some quite complex moves that I had missed. (She plays a different version than I do.) I'd love to find some kind of super simple and yet at the same time challenging puzzle that she could do with her hands--something for kids maybe. Has to work with bad eyesight and have pretty big pieces, easy to handle and to find when they inevitably fall on the floor. Hard enough to challenge her, but not so hard she gives up.

[jmh123]

You know, my mother is suffering from Alzheimers. I think the best gesture of compassion and sympathy someone could make when she dies is to send a donation in her honor to the Alzheimers Association. This disease has to be among the cruelest there is, and the idea that someone wanted to contribute to keeping the hope alive for a cure would mean the most to me.

Not to mention the amazing support they give to families. They've gotten me through some rough patches, often by just letting me know that whatever it is, however odd it seems, it's "normal." They provide information, resources, training, support groups.

[Couch Tomato]

Oh I haven't signed on since yesterday. Condolences to Clay and his family.

[Desertrose]

Oh, God. I hadn't thought of this but....I just KNOW there are some 'fans' who will think it's just fine to do just that. But I'll keep the faith and hope that good sense and decency will prevail.

You know, my mother is suffering from Alzheimers. I think the best gesture of compassion and sympathy someone could make when she dies is to send a donation in her honor to the Alzheimers Association. This disease has to be among the cruelest there is, and the idea that someone wanted to contribute to keeping the hope alive for a cure would mean the most to me.

My mother just passed away September 21. She had Alzheimer's, and the disease had reduced her to less than 50 pounds. She had not recognized me for the last 8 years. She suffered a great deal, like you say, this is a cruel disease. She lived long enough to see her 90th birthday on September 16.

I am already a contributor to the Alzheimer's Association because my aunt on my father's side also had the disease. She lived to be 99 years old. I contribute in her name, and now I will add my mother's name also.

One organization that was very helpful to my mother was Hospice. They have a special branch that handles Alzheimer's patients. It does not have the time limitations that regular Hospice has. They sent a trained person to bathe my mother three times a week. (my mother would not allow us to bathe her, and we could not force her because she also had osteoporosis and her bones broke easily). They sent a nurse on a regular basis, and all medication for infections and so forth was provided by them. So was the oxygen that my mother required for two years, and the adult diapers. Previously my father had to pay for all this on his limited income. My mother was on Hospice for over three years. They were wonderful and extremely helpful. I was worried that my mother would deplete her Medicare, but it does not work that way. It will not deplete Medicare. Only stipulation is that the patient will not seek treatment for Alzheimer's. That does not mean that they will not provide medication for fever, ear infections and stuff like that.

I am posting all this information in case someone has a parent and needs help. Hospice helped a lot. BTW, my 93 year old father did not have to pay one dime out of his pocket for the Hospice care. He is on a pension. Hospice billed Medicare, and what Medicare paid, they accepted. Hospice does send an intake worker initially to evaluate the patient to as to eligibility for the program. I am assuming that the patient has to be in the advanced stage like my mother was at the time.

[jmh123]

My mother just passed away September 21. She had Alzheimer's, and the disease had reduced her to less than 50 pounds. She had not recognized me for the last 8 years. She suffered a great deal, like you say, this is a cruel disease. She lived long enough to see her 90th birthday on September 16.

I am already a contributor to the Alzheimer's Association because my aunt on my father's side also had the disease. She lived to be 99 years old. I contribute in her name, and now I will add my mother's name also.

One organization that was very helpful to my mother was Hospice. They have a special branch that handles Alzheimer's patients. It does not have the time limitations that regular Hospice has. They sent a trained person to bathe my mother three times a week. (my mother would not allow us to bathe her, and we could not force her because she also had osteoporosis and her bones broke easily). They sent a nurse on a regular basis, and all medication for infections and so forth was provided by them. So was the oxygen that my mother required for two years, and the adult diapers. Previously my father had to pay for all this on his limited income. My mother was on Hospice for over three years. They were wonderful and extremely helpful. I was worried that my mother would deplete her Medicare, but it does not work that way. It will not deplete Medicare. Only stipulation is that the patient will not seek treatment for Alzheimer's. That does not mean that they will not provide medication for fever, ear infections and stuff like that.

I am posting all this information in case someone has a parent and needs help. Hospice helped a lot. BTW, my 93 year old father did not have to pay one dime out of his pocket for the Hospice care. He is on a pension. Hospice billed Medicare, and what Medicare paid, they accepted. Hospice does send an intake worker initially to evaluate the patient to as to eligibility for the program. I am assuming that the patient has to be in the advanced stage like my mother was at the time.

I also know what a trial the long extended illness of Alzheimer's/dementia can be. I just hope that because my mom is already 96, she won't suffer too many more years. When she has a bit of clearness of mind, and even when she doesn't, she makes it very clear that she wants to die and hates the many indignities of her life now. Every night before she goes to bed she sings "Show me the way to go home," or "tired of living but scared of dying," or last night it was an obscure hymn, something like Lord, lift me up in your arms and take me to the promised land.

50 pounds! Wow. Mom's lost a lot of weight already, but I guess she's got a ways to go. She does still recognize her family, more or less, but mom has vascular dementia rather than Alzheimer's proper. (It's a spectrum disorder like autism.) She has some cognitive functions, but she sometimes hallucinates and has episodes of, well, demented behavior.

We did just recently find a group of doctors that make house calls--that has really been a boon as my mother does not like to leave the house, and at her last doctor's visit, she caught a bad cold. Now we need to find a dentist who makes house calls. LOL.

Thanks for the Hospice tip, DesertRose. We're currently on another round of "change in condition" helpers--bathing, physical therapy, etc., but that ends next week. (Medicare will pay when the doctor states that she has had a marked decline, but they will only come for long enough to train the caregivers to deal with whatever.) We were told that she might qualify for Hospice care by now. I'll give them a call and see. For now, we're going to see how things work with a woman that sits with mom sometimes. I insisted we hire her twice a week, to bathe mom and give her the exercises the physical therapist has taught her. It's possible that if she does this regularly, mom will come to resist and resent her, but hopefully not. Mom seems to respond well to her.

I'd love to know what it is about Alzheimer's/dementia and bathing. It seems to be nearly universal, this resistance to bathing.

[Desertrose]

My mother just passed away September 21. She had Alzheimer's, and the disease had reduced her to less than 50 pounds. She had not recognized me for the last 8 years. She suffered a great deal, like you say, this is a cruel disease. She lived long enough to see her 90th birthday on September 16.

I am already a contributor to the Alzheimer's Association because my aunt on my father's side also had the disease. She lived to be 99 years old. I contribute in her name, and now I will add my mother's name also.

One organization that was very helpful to my mother was Hospice. They have a special branch that handles Alzheimer's patients. It does not have the time limitations that regular Hospice has. They sent a trained person to bathe my mother three times a week. (my mother would not allow us to bathe her, and we could not force her because she also had osteoporosis and her bones broke easily). They sent a nurse on a regular basis, and all medication for infections and so forth was provided by them. So was the oxygen that my mother required for two years, and the adult diapers. Previously my father had to pay for all this on his limited income. My mother was on Hospice for over three years. They were wonderful and extremely helpful. I was worried that my mother would deplete her Medicare, but it does not work that way. It will not deplete Medicare. Only stipulation is that the patient will not seek treatment for Alzheimer's. That does not mean that they will not provide medication for fever, ear infections and stuff like that.

I am posting all this information in case someone has a parent and needs help. Hospice helped a lot. BTW, my 93 year old father did not have to pay one dime out of his pocket for the Hospice care. He is on a pension. Hospice billed Medicare, and what Medicare paid, they accepted. Hospice does send an intake worker initially to evaluate the patient to as to eligibility for the program. I am assuming that the patient has to be in the advanced stage like my mother was at the time.

I also know what a trial the long extended illness of Alzheimer's/dementia can be. I just hope that because my mom is already 96, she won't suffer too many more years. When she has a bit of clearness of mind, and even when she doesn't, she makes it very clear that she wants to die and hates the many indignities of her life now. Every night before she goes to bed she sings "Show me the way to go home," or "tired of living but scared of dying," or last night it was an obscure hymn, something like Lord, life me up in your arms and take me to the promised land.

50 pounds! Wow. Mom's lost a lot of weight already, but I guess she's got a ways to go. She does still recognize her family, more or less, but mom has vascular dementia rather than Alzheimer's proper. (It's a spectrum disorder like autism.) She has some cognitive functions, but she sometimes hallucinates and has episodes of, well, demented behavior.

We did just recently find a group of doctors that make house calls--that has really been a boon as my mother does not like to leave the house, and at her last doctor's visit, she caught a bad cold. Now we need to find a dentist who makes house calls. LOL.

Thanks for the Hospice tip, DesertRose. We're currently on another round of "change in condition" helpers--bathing, physical therapy, etc., but that ends next week. (Medicare will pay when the doctor states that she has had a marked decline, but they will only come for long enough to train the caregivers to deal with whatever.) We were told that she might qualify for Hospice care by now. I'll give them a call and see. For now, we're going to see how things work with a woman that sits with mom sometimes. I insisted we hire her twice a week, to bathe mom and give her the exercises the physical therapist has taught her. It's possible that if she does this regularly, mom will come to resist and resent her, but hopefully not. Mom seems to respond well to her.

I'd love to know what it is about Alzheimer's/dementia and bathing. It seems to be nearly universal, this resistance to bathing.

My heart goes out to you and your mom. Amazing that she is 96 years old. My mom also had hallucinations and episodes of demented behavior. That is so very hard to handle. I am in Texas, and all we needed to get her in Hospice was her doctor's order. After Hospice accepted her, there was never a problem with Medicare. With your mother's age, I do not think she would be denied Hospice care. If your mother can still play cards, they have volunteers that go to homes and play games and keep the patients occupied. My mom would have none of that. She refused to participate. There was a Hospice nurse that went once a week to take her vitals, temperature and such. If she ran a fever, the nurse would call her doctor and get a prescription for her. This was the doctor that had placed the order for Hospice. He was her regular doctor. Once she had hospice she never had to go back to doctor's office.

We did have to take her to the dentist though, but he could not help her because she did not understand what he asked her to do and would not keep her mouth open and swallowed every thing, and that made sick to her stomach. Towards the end, a Hospice doctor did come to see her at home.

Before she was under hospice care, she went through a gall stone episode, and had laproscopic surgery to remove her gall bladder. They had to give her a stress test to see if her heart was strong enough. She was already in a wheel chair, unable to walk, weighed about 60 pounds, could not communicate, feed herself or anything and she PASSED the stress test. She went through this surgery without any problem or complication. I still do not understand how a person in her condition could pass a stress test. The way that Hospice "weighed" her was by measuring her body since she was unable to stand.

[FromClaygary]

We did just recently find a group of doctors that make house calls--that has really been a boon as my mother does not like to leave the house, and at her last doctor's visit, she caught a bad cold. Now we need to find a dentist who makes house calls. LOL.

Actually, you know....don't laugh! re the dentist making house calls. I KNOW that in the September CITGO Fan challenge on FB, which I read through every day to compile the numbers....was a charity which runs a mobile home, which is in fact a mobile dentist on wheels to provide this type of service to housebound people. I thought it was pretty neat and voted for them once or twice.

If there's one.....there's others. I would definitely do some research, if this would be beneficial for your Mom.

[luckiest1]

{{{everyone dealing with Alzheimer's}}}

I just hope no clayfans will show up at the funeral home. This is a private time for Clay and his family. It would be so disrespectful to want to be there at such a private occasion in Clay's life.

Oh, God. I hadn't thought of this but....I just KNOW there are some 'fans' who will think it's just fine to do just that. But I'll keep the faith and hope that good sense and decency will prevail.

I think I remember the same concerns when Vernon died, but I don't remember if any of it came to pass. Let's hope not.

Today has been a wonderful day....almost perfect, I'd say. I got up and baked a lemon zucchini loaf before anyone even woke up. I took my mom and daughter with me to the farmer's market, which I love. We went out for a Vietnamese/Thai lunch. We grocery shopped and then my daughter and I baked a pumpkin cheesecake and a pumpkin pie. I walked the dogs in the sunshine. I gardened (well, I pulled out all my tomato and pepper plants before they could freeze tonight). I have green tomatoes coming out of my ears. My older son finally got up the guts to introduce his new girlfriend to the family and she is v.v. nice. My younger son kept his cool today even when I could tell he was ready to lose it. In less than one week, I will be in Raleigh with friends and I will see Clay again.

Everyone here thinks I am a bit warped, but these things make me happy. Life is good and I am thankful.

[justclay12]

I was taking care of two clients with Alzheimer's, both had Downs Syndrome so they got it at an earlier age than most. The one I love didn't get it until she was in her early 60's, which is rare for people with Down's, who normally get it in their 40's. Both of them hated baths, and the one will scream and hit at you. Neither like to be moved either or to go out, which was hard for me to see because my lady used to love to go out. I even took her to a Clay Christmas concert and she was so cute. Thank God the sound from the stage went all of the way through the place because she sat there and sang at the top of her lungs. Wasn't words, cuz she only said a few words, but they made sense to her. And then she would giggle. I think I hate Alzheimer's more than any disease after watching what it did to her.

[TimetravelerPax]

Ive been listening to the whole JNT2Raleigh concert, as well as watching Hoosa/Gold'girl+Luckiest Montages of StarofBethlehem too. I feel for Clay and family, and so happy we got to get a glimpse of their mutual love {from a respectful distance}

My mom too died of Alzheimers in Oct 2002-- just before I discovered Clay. She would have loved watching his career and I miss the fact that we never shared that. We always watched TV talent shows together. I do tell her about him often though, hoping she's been enjoying him with me from afar.

QUOTE (Desertrose @ Oct 10 2009, 03:30 PM)

"My mother just passed away September 21"

My condolences to you Desertrose.

I found this pretty picture of Clay watching Papa fromDanieP80 and wanted to share.

Looking forward to Inclusion Clack, Im sure it will bring a a few tears to all who are lucky enough to attend.

Everyone enjoy your clay-experiences next week, and please dont forget us back here watching/listening through you.

Thanks in advance.

[jazzgirl]

to Desertrose on the passing of her mom and for all those dealing with Alzheimer's or caregiving.

[wandacleo]

Desertrose, my mom died of Alzheimer's 2 years ago, so I know how hard it is to care for someone with Alzheimer's. My thoughts are with you.

Hugs.

[ldyjocelyn]

{{{{{Desertrose}}}}}

I think almost everyone knows someone with Alzheimer's or related diseases -- in my case, it was my Aunt. OTOH, I'm proud of my nephew...he's running the Chicago Marathon soon, and while doing that, will be raising money for the Alzheimer's Association via pledges.

[annabear]

I just hope no clayfans will show up at the funeral home. This is a private time for Clay and his family. It would be so disrespectful to want to be there at such a private occasion in Clay's life.

Oh, God. I hadn't thought of this but....I just KNOW there are some 'fans' who will think it's just fine to do just that. But I'll keep the faith and hope that good sense and decency will prevail.

I'll hope right along with you because I can't think of anything more disrespectful, inappropriate or rude than strangers barging in on a grieving family.

Hugs & prayers to Clay and his family. And for all dealing with the horrific disease that is Alzheimer's.

[ncgurrl]

{{{everyone dealing with Alzheimer's}}}

I just hope no clayfans will show up at the funeral home. This is a private time for Clay and his family. It would be so disrespectful to want to be there at such a private occasion in Clay's life.

Oh, God. I hadn't thought of this but....I just KNOW there are some 'fans' who will think it's just fine to do just that. But I'll keep the faith and hope that good sense and decency will prevail.

I think I remember the same concerns when Vernon died, but I don't remember if any of it came to pass. Let's hope not.

Today has been a wonderful day....almost perfect, I'd say. I got up and baked a lemon zucchini loaf before anyone even woke up. I took my mom and daughter with me to the farmer's market, which I love. We went out for a Vietnamese/Thai lunch. We grocery shopped and then my daughter and I baked a pumpkin cheesecake and a pumpkin pie. I walked the dogs in the sunshine. I gardened (well, I pulled out all my tomato and pepper plants before they could freeze tonight). I have green tomatoes coming out of my ears. My older son finally got up the guts to introduce his new girlfriend to the family and she is v.v. nice. My younger son kept his cool today even when I could tell he was ready to lose it. In less than one week, I will be in Raleigh with friends and I will see Clay again.

Everyone here thinks I am a bit warped, but these things make me happy. Life is good and I am thankful.

How about tucking a loaf in your suitcase next week.

[liney23]

{{{{{{desertrose}}}}}}

{{{{{{all those with frail parents}}}}}}

{{{{{{Clay and Gramma and Faye and the rest of the Aiken family}}}}}}

Happy Thanksgiving Holidays, Claynaians!!! :04:

[muskifest]

Wow. So many of us here have experience dealing with parents or close relatives with Alzheimers! Interesting about the bathing thing. The fear or dislike of taking baths/showers seems to be a very common thing among Alzheimers victims. I wonder why.

All you going to the Gala---have a blast and be VERY afraid of us waiting here for your DETAILED reports!

[aikim]

6 Days until The National Inclusion Project's Champion's Gala!

Happy Birthday to all celebrating!

Everyone have a great day!

Kim

[cindilu2]

SIX DAYS!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!1!!!!11!!!1!!!

So, raise your hand if you've watched/listened to BSOB in the last couple days?

*raises hand*

What a wonderful treat that was, and a fantastic vocal performance as well. I could listen to him sing the words 'yonder' and 'shine on' over and over and over again. Oh, wait. I did.

[TimetravelerPax]

Wow. So many of us here have experience dealing with parents or close relatives with Alzheimers! Interesting about the bathing thing. The fear or dislike of taking baths/showers seems to be a very common thing among Alzheimers victims. I wonder why.

:nature-smiley-014:

Just to answer you from my own experience as my Mom lived with me the last 3 years of her life--(and no expert):

1. She was terribly fearful of falling{even though I had a special shower chair} and

2. She felt xtra- sensitive to hot and cold. and

3. Being all raised catholic, she way shy for me-her daughtr-- to bath her and did much beter when I had an outside lady do the bathing part. Cenovia, my moms friend was a godsend.

Happy Thanksgiving Holidays, Claynadians!!!

:09:

[treenuts]

It's only half time but I feel the need to whine!!!! My Niners are sucking butt today. BIGTIME

Whatup, boys?!

Oh yeah, "defensive line, get your asses down on the line!!! Do ya hear me"!!

carry on.....

[treenuts]

Oy. That was just too painful.

If I were Singletary I'd cancel all break time and have them review the film, practice, review the film, practice, review the film, practice.......

for the next two weeks! ugh

[FromClaygary]

SIX DAYS!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!1!!!!11!!!1!!!

So, raise your hand if you've watched/listened to BSOB in the last couple days?

*raises hand*

What a wonderful treat that was, and a fantastic vocal performance as well. I could listen to him sing the words 'yonder' and 'shine on' over and over and over again. Oh, wait. I did.

*raises hand*

[aikim]

5 Days until The National Inclusion Project's Champion's Gala!

Happy Birthday to all celebrating!

Everyone have a great day!

Kim