jemock

jemock talked her way into the family suite, where Clay went after all the picture taking, to present a scrapbook from CH and chat with Clay, and posted about it at length. She basically capitalized on the situation in that room to get her own personal meet-and-greet. I wasn't happy about that.

You need a new fact checker.

I'm so sorry. I did some fact checking just now, belatedly, and I have an e-mail from back then in which this account was related, and it was attributed to you in that e-mail. The e-mail says it's from a post on the CH, but no such post exists. I do see from spotlightlover's recap that I was wrong about the scrapbook part--that was taken to Clay by "a blonde woman" earlier in the evening. I apologize for believing the e-mail--nice to know that wasn't you.

No prob. The rest of the post was not true either, but the scrapbook in particular was putting a real crimp in my style.

jemock talked her way into the family suite, where Clay went after all the picture taking, to present a scrapbook from CH and chat with Clay, and posted about it at length. She basically capitalized on the situation in that room to get her own personal meet-and-greet. I wasn't happy about that.

You need a new fact checker.

Thanks for all the nice words, y'all! Gosh. Well, the ones who said nice words, I mean. I know a lot of people don't share my sense of humor, and that's oh-kay. I probably don't think they're very funny either. Haha! Just kidding!

I gave myself written permission to make fun of my own Christmas stories. Those are the only ones I've talked about. Endlessly. Relentlessly. But generally not in a good way, so the famewhoriness and self-criticism all balances out, I think.

Personally, I liked all the Christmas stories, the ones I could hear through the garbled cellcerts, anyway. And I liked a bunch that were posted but not read.

According to the rules, it looks like I'm going to have to edit out "peepee". Shoot.

couchie, I thought about that too, since it was allowed for the Christmas thing, but the rules say this one is non-transferrable.

Oh good grief. If anybody thinks my stupid post was a swipe at Clay, that's ridiculous. If anything, it's a parody of MY fangirliness, which is at times over the top.

I'll post it myself:

Maybe his bio should read like a CH recap:

OMG! Raleigh! Grape Dimatapp! Auto theft! Goat stuff! American Idol! PANTS!! He was ROBBED!!! Tour! OMG what was that MOVE!?!? Panties! Bubel-Aiken! Swoon! Release parties! Miss America! WTF Dick Capri?!? American Music Award YAY! Another tour! Grindage side seats OMG!! NYT Bestseller, that copy is MINE back off bitch!!! UNICEF! Holy crap his hair looks GOOOD!! Take my money, Clay!!!Take my check, but don't cash it until the 15th!!! The WORK!!! OMG!! He sings like an angel, get those damn dancers outta my sightline, GAWD!!! Aww, Clay and the chirren!!! Where's my thudmat?!?! Where are my ovaries?!?! He eyefucked multitudes!!! Another album?!?! Are we made of, money?!? holy shit I need 22 copies STAT!! What the fuck is wrong with amazon?!?! HDD is WHACK UGLY AND STUOOPID! AW, a new Christmas cd!!! He's like God's littlest angel, except with nice cheekbones and a really big peepee! that I want to seesee! ACK! His hair looks like POOO!!! My brain had a Clayfart! Eat some playdough! Go to the Gala with a nice dress and $80000 in pocket money!!! GAWD I HATE BEING POOR!!!!OOOh, look free Chrirstmas stories! YAY! Christmas + death +whimsical dead leeaches = paydirt!!!Farouche, get over here NOW and read this story!! Jaimie was all "OMG go-go-beewts, I laughed at that one, don't hold the book up too high and I was all "you talk to him like a normal person, and she was all Well, we try to, can you move your hand from between your legs to on your hip maybe, and we asked for black clothes but I'm sure irridescent pink will be fine too!!! Just read this story about the plight of the orphaned wingless pigeon colony at the North Pole and how they all died and Santa didn't get any of his catalog orders on time, so they were substituting FRUIT BASKETS!! OH THE HUMANITY!!! And OH the chirren were crying and saying "Dear Santa, bring me back my ez-bake you STUPID ASSHAT unless that GI Joe comes with a cute prom dress because I'm all out of Christmas cheer, if you know what I mean and I think that you do..and then OMG!!!Brett gave you something that beeped for lost car keys, and Faye gave you the space shuttle again -HA HA HA that never gets old, not even after 10 freakin years!!! BWAH!! Woohoo! *High five*Fast -Forward 2008--SPAMALOT!!! OMG! SWOON! THUD! LIMP! CHECK CREDIT CARD BALANCE!!l LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO HOCK!! omg! YODELING!!! Nice sweatshirt, Clay!! Oh, but wait! Makes lots of money, YAY!!! Fans AND NJUs love him, YAY!!! *Waves from the roof--GOODBYE CLAY!!!OMG WE LOVE YOU!!! Present Day: Oh lookie!!!! Little bittie baby!! Yay!! This poop doesn't look right?!?! Oh noes!!!Oh look! Some of that Brazilian bat poop drink! YUMM!!! Clay takes a break, hatches a baby Robin, rests a bit in the comfy home nest, and then BACK TO Nooo Yark Citie!! for even More a Lot of Spam! And in summation, Clay was cut from his high school musical, but he's not bitter. Not anymore. Amen.