JennaZ

My first few Clay parties were awkward, at first. I'd go in and feel shy and uncomfortable, 1) because I didn't know anyone and 2) because so many seemed so much older than I was. People were laughing and hugging each other; there is that sense that so many have already formed tight bonds. To me, the loneliest feeling in the world is not to be alone in an empty room, but to be alone in a room full of people who know each other but don't know you. Whenever I go to these gatherings, I notice that there are typically others like me, people hanging by themselves along the edges, longing to belong, but unsure how to penetrate. Now, I'm actually a very shy, introverted person, but I've found that when I make the effort to introduce myself to the other "wallflowers," I get rewarded by a big smile and a sense of genuine gratitude. We'll chat pleasantly, and even if they don't become my best friend, they make the event pass much more enjoyably. I believe that there really are a lot of fans who crave the kind of friendships they read about on the boards, or at least, the kind of easy camraderie that is typically part of board culture. However, it's not always easy to make those connections in a party situation. It takes a little more effort, but it's worth it. (I will say, that when I went to my first full CH party before the Kimmel show, I was floored by the warmth I found. That was a party where there didn't seem to be any wallflowers [they all seemed really close], but Artquest, the hostess, was so kind about introducing me, and the others were incredibly welcoming. They were so nice, which kind of makes me feel a little guilty about staying off their main boards for so long.) I have made my closest Clay friends on Clay boards. After PM'ing, we'd agree to meet for lunch and dinner. It's kind of odd, in a way, to meet someone you met off the internet. I realize that to an outsider, it would seem strange and maybe even dangerous. But when you've gotten to know people through their posts, it doesn't seem that bizarre. There is that initial thought, "Oh, so that's what you look like..." (not in a bad way), just in the sense that you're finally putting a face to a screen name. However, if you've had a rapport online, it's not that tough to continue it in person. RE: Lost. I've actually enjoyed Lost this season, primarily because they seem to have stopped following the tailies and started focusing more on the characters I prefer. Sawyer has always been a bit "meh" for me. I find him more interesting than Jack, but I'm more drawn to Sayid and Jin on a physical level.

This fandom is funny thing. On one hand, what I read on the boards sometimes irritates, incenses, and annoys me. There are posters who can be overzealous in their support, even a little frightening. Some seem to take everything so seriously and so emotionally. Though Clay likes to use the term "enthusiastic," I don't think "crazy" is really out of line. Quite frankly, as much as I can appreciate the power of the Clorilla, I also don't really trust it. On the other hand, I must say, I've met some truly great people in this fandom. There are people I met on the boards who have been really fun to get to know in person. We've chatted about Clay for up to six hours on the phone, had three hour lunches and four hour dinners. I've had good experiences at Clay parties, talking happily with strangers. It's strange, because many of these friends are actually a bit older than I am, but when we talk about Clay, age is completely irrelevant.

Yes, I have always believed that Clay's uniqueness and flexibility are both strengths and liabilities. They are strengths, because they set him apart and make him memorable. They are liabilities, though, because they make him much harder to pigeonhole and market. You can't just plug him into the existing frameworks set up for your standard country/rock/pop/R&P act. You have to be a little more creative, and though I'm not one of the "Clive is the devil" torch bearers, I sometimes wonder whether enough people at his label truly understand his appeal. I was impressed by Clay's country sound in "I'm Not Supposed To Love You Anymore," and I sometimes think that if he released a country song under an assumed name, a lot of people wouldn't be able to guess it was him. I'd bet most non-fans don't really remember "deep voiced" Clay because so much of his more recent work focuses on his upper register. However, I do believe he could capture that typical "country" sound without much difficulty. The fact that he includes so little country music in his concerts, however, makes me think that for whatever reason, he's not interested in pursuing that genre at this time. I, too, am intrigued and excited by this upcoming Christmas EP. I think it will be amazing.

Thanks to this board, I can never look at candy corn the same way again. Loved the photos, Claygasm. Nice find, KAndre. Interesting that Guns n' Roses is tracking how the venue treated Clay!

Yes, it's all about the angst, isn't it Claygasm? I swear, sometimes it's almost as if people are looking for things to be miserable about. I hear ya, musik! I get that people aren't enthusiastic about everything. What I don't get is why people have to repeat the same old rants a thousand times. It's getting so the boards are becoming totally predictable. It's an endless round of: I hate Clive Davis. Screw RCA. Look at all the promo [insert alternate idol here] is getting! It's not fair! HDD reporting at .000000000000001% No Clay yet. Did you see this terrible review from [insert obscure internet blog here]? Did I mention I hate Clive Davis? Did you see that [insert legendary musical artist here] is doing [insert TV Show/movie/concert venue here]? RCA must have kept him from doing it so he wouldn't outshine Ruben/Justin/Il Divo. Clay's hair is so ugly I can't be his fan. Why hasn't Clay blogged? Why hasn't he blogged? Why hasn't he blogged? He hasn't blogged because the label doesn't want him to talk. He blogged! But he used quotation marks! See...that's proof that he's really pissed off at promotion. HDD reporting at .0000000000000002% Look at all those artists above him. That's it. His career is over. And it's all because Clive Davis is evil. RCA makes me want to puke. RCA is part of a vast worldwide conspiracy that is out to crush Clay because they are jealous of his obvious talent and goodness. Did you hear what [insert random comedian/DJ/talk show host] said about Clay? Is this a diss? Of course, it's a diss. They all hate him. Clay seems happy. Maybe things are not so bad. What! You believe that you stupid deluded fool? Let me tell you in lengthy and excrutiating detail why you are completely and horrifically wrong. Did I miss anything?

I'm with you Ansamcw. So true, bottlecap. The lists of those who deserve enmity and those who deserve adulation seems to switch with ridiculous frequency. Love Diane Sawyer...Hate Diane Sawyer. Love Leno... Hate Leno... Love Leno... Megan's on Clay's Special...Love her! Megan bought Ruben's CD... Evil witch! Megan was nice to Clay on her show! Go Megan! Now it's time to hate Jimmy Kimmel. No, we love Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, no, Jimmy made a bad joke...down with Jimmy! Clay is on his show, Yay for Kimmel! Sometimes, it makes my head spin!

I agree that OFC content should be protected. It's sad that some are IM'ing or e-mailing things they shouldn't. To some extent, I understand that each person must evaluate whether the money spent is worth it to them. However, some seem extraordinarily demanding in their fan club expectations. The OFC isn't perfect, but for less than $3 a month, the occasional blogs, photos, video, contests, ticket passwords, blogs and message boards are not a bad bargain. I spend more than $3 on a cup of coffee. I love Clay's blogs, too. There's something very personal and spontaneous about them. They don't come across like carefully crafted pieces of PR. Maybe I'm naive, but all the adorable little imperfections tell me they come from him, rather than from publicist or low level staffer. Personally, I'd rather have him blog when he feels like blogging, than have him blog out of obligation. I have a feeling that if these blogs were like homework for him--a writing requirement he needed to fulfill the terms of a legal contract--they'd be far less charming and fun.

Yup, great blog! Of course, it was inevitable that people would try and read into his words only what they want to believe. I found it interesting that he said that Tyra turned what was to be two segments into a whole show. I've noticed that they're already showing him in promos, so they must be excited about what they have. Totally! Especially after reading all those posts about how the fact that Clay hasn't blogged is clear evidence that Something Is Wrong. That he hasn't blogged because RCA won't let him, or because there was nothing positive he could say about his obviously dire situation. Yeah, right! The guy just wasn't in the mood! Believe me, I can totally relate. It's been over a year since I last blogged. I hope people are giving him some slack over this. Too many have been bitching and moaning about how his failure to blog was a serious breach of the OFC contract. Personally, while I love his blogs, I didn't join the fan club primarily for the blogs. I did it because he gets a Direct Deposit from my checking account, which is to say, I did it simply to support him. The bracelet and nifty membership card are just cute little extras I'll throw in some drawer.

These clips bring back such fond memories. I hadn't thought about the AI tour in ages.

Aww... you all already mentioned all my favorite flubs! I do find his little imperfections endearing. I sometimes wonder if his mind wanders a bit when he sings a too familiar song. You notice, it's usually the songs he's sung a thousand times that he flubs. WYSYLM, Solitaire, TITN...

Great points, Ansamcw. Actually, it seems like a lot of artists have been complaining about promotion lately. Janet Jackson's boyfriend has, and more recently, Elton John. I do suspect there's a lot less money to spread around and that many have been feeling the pinch. To me, anecdotal reports of shortages may be an indication that Clay has exceeded retail expectations. (The idea that the label would deliberately depress sales so Justin could remain #1 always seemed ridiculously spurious.)

Heh, heh... I remember the days when I read two books a week, and went to the gym, baked cakes, rented videos, scrapbooked, made cards, etc.... Now my free time is sucked up by these message boards! Actually, the mood of the bigger boards has been good for me, in a way. I started reading more, cooking more, watching more movies, and putting a little more concentration into my work. Uh... then I found this board... :o Good luck with the interview, Couchie!

Hey, you are not alone. I watch Standoff and Bones, too. I love this board!

Yeah, me, too. The great thing about this fandom is that someone always seems to catch it, often before it even airs on the West Coast. So true. Life is short. Tomorrow, you could find a lump in your breast. Or a loved one could get hit by a car. Or a terrorist attack could change the way we live. I'd hate to look back at this time and think, "And I made myself miserable worrying about a rich, young pop star's career?" I love Clay. I think about him way more than I should. But I can't help but think that, in the grand scheme of things, his sales and promotion are not worth the angst, especially when many artists would kill for what he has. Maybe it's because I've experienced some of this before as the fan of an actor. OK. It was Matt Damon. In 1997, I was smitten and saw Good Will Hunting in the theatre five times. I got involved in an online community that was equally obsessed, and we'd spend our days discussing film promotion and box office numbers. We'd rage over negative reviews and speculate about future projects, scowling when choice projects went to perceived rivals such as Leonardo Dicaprio, Jude Law, or Colin Farrell. There was angst over gay rumors and jealousy over Ben Affleck, who at one time, seemed to be regarded as the "Movie Star" (He got the title, "Sexiest Man Alive"--yuck!) despite what we felt to be a smarmy personality and far inferior acting skills. We pored over every random and obscure media reference to Matt, and ranted against anything remotely negative. Then Rounders and All the Pretty Horses (ATPH) tanked, and Jude Law got the Oscar nomination and attention for The Talented Mr. Ripley (TTMR--we had our acronyms, too), and Matt didn't work for over a year. Very disheartening. Very depressing. We were at wit's end. Then, we heard he got a role that Brad Pitt had turned down, an action movie that was very different from the artier films he'd been doing. We followed the on-set rumors and heard stories about re-shoots and production difficulties. We were all expecting the worst, but when The Bourne Identity opened to huge numbers, it suddenly vaulted him to the top. When Clay came around, I started following Matt more casually. However, so much of what I've seen in the Clay fandom (even though it's considerably larger than the Matt fandom), feels familiar. Because of that, I have to look at Clay's trajectory with some sense of perspective. It really isn't as dire as many believe. I hate to say it, but I haven't opened ACAC either. But like you, I support him in everything he does because I do believe he is worth it. I think the potential is there is we give him the room to take risks. Absolutely. And look at all the other multi-platinum well-established artists (Janet Jackson, Elton John) who have recently complained about promotion. This notion that because Clay so obviously deserves the highest level of promotion, anything less is proof of conspiracy, seems unrealistic to me.

I know what you mean. Sometimes, it's almost as if people WANT to be angry, and that they need other people to be angry, too. In fact, if you're NOT angry, you can get treated as if you're supporting RCA and are therefore, the enemy. Personally, I can't live an angry life. Things may not always go as I'd wish, but hatred is too exhausting and unpleasant. It amazes me that many, however, seem to need to keep the flame burning brightly.

So true. In fact, it's amazing the enmity between fans of Ruben, Kelly and Clay when one considers that the three actually seem to like each other. Hello, FearofH2O! Now that is a terrific question. He does look happy, but I guess many fans can't imagine why he wouldn't be as angry and depressed as they are. My answers to the questionnaire (sorry they're not as clever as bottlecap's): What's your name? : JennaZ... (but don't Google my name... I'm not THAT JennaZ) What's in your iPod (or CD player)? : When it comes to Clay, what isn't? Oh, but there is a little room left in there for artists such as Janis Joplin, Eminem, Erasure, Aerosmith, Outkast, Gwen Stefani, The Pet Shop Boys, K.D. Lang, Prince, Garth Brooks, ABBA, Melissa Etheridge, The Carpenters, The Black-Eyed Peas, Alannis Morisette, Weezer and others, just to name a few. What is "your song" at karaoke? : I am shamefully bad at karoke. Trust me, you wouldn't want to hear me. But with enough alcohol, maybe...Delta Dawn! What's your favorite time of day? : Between 7:00-9:00 am, before I leave for work. What book are you reading right now? : Tender at the Bone: Growing Up at the Table by Ruth Reichl Lovely memoir by a former NY Times food critic. What's your favorite website? : Bottlecap, can I borrow your answer? Right now, findingclayaiken.com. What's your favorite old movie (DVD)? : The Sound of Music What's your favorite current movie? : Queen. What is set on your television DVR? :?Amazing Race, Heroes, America's Top Model, Top Chef, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Lost. If you weren't in show business, what other career would you consider? : Hmmm.... Tough one. Journalist, maybe. What is the strangest job you've ever held? : I'd say, working as an assistant for some production accountants on an MTV made-for-TV movie. Husband and wife team... kinda hippie, kinda loud, kinda old (especially for MTV), but kinda nice if you ignored all the profanities. What was the exact moment you became an adult? : Still waiting for that one Ditto times two. If you could trade places with one person for just ten minutes, who would it be? : Whoever's putting that grin on Clay Aiken's face, lately. What was your last purchase? : Actual purchase? Chinese food for lunch. Non-food item? A witch's hat that I was going to wear on Halloween, but accidentally lost in some parking lot. What's in your carry-on bag? : Books, iPod, chocolate. What's under your bed? : Winter clothing, which I'm sad to say, I can't yet wear. It's supposed to be in the 80's tomorrow! What's your guilty pleasure? : Clay Aiken message boards. Shh....

I'm a little confused... So Bo fans are spreading the angst on the Clay boards? musikfest, congratulations on getting through the day! I hope tomorrow goes better. Loved your responses ot the questionnaire, bottleneck!

Exactly. The similar notion that the success of the show depends on the winner outselling the loser really only exists in the minds of Clay Aiken message board fans. Clay's success has never been shown to affect the ratings of the show (ratings have only gone up). And in fact, one could argue that Clay has actually received far more favorable treatment on AI than Ruben. When Ruben first returned, it was on an early round without the bigger audience. Clay returned on a show with the finalists. Moreover, Clay actually had "couch time" on his second return, and even when he sits in the audience, he gets an on-air interview. When Ruben or even Fantasia stop by, they just get captions showing they were there. And then, more recently, he (not Ruben or Fantasia), appeared in the finale. But that's not what people see. They only remember Simon's stupid comments and conclude that American Idol hates Clay. So true. Clay could be ten times platinum and there would be many who would be convinced that with better promotion, he could have been twenty times. The fact that he's still outselling many more established artists is completely irrelevant. So true. The theory seems to be that as Clay is so obviously a superstar at the level of Justin Timberlake, Usher, or God, that anything less than the highest level of exposure can only be explained by a deliberate and malicious plan to destroy him. Uh, OK. And this idea that no other idol deserves what Clay got is just pathetic. Now this one is really unfathomable. So, Clive is so irrational that he'll deliberately try to ruin an artist because he dared to disagree? As if no other artists had ever offered any resistance? (And it's a pure assumption that Clay even "fought Clive.") It's as if people think that because they act emotionally, a record label must, as well. Crazy, isn't it? Especially this idea that because WE don't know what he's doing, that therefore, he's doing NOTHING. Because, of course, we fans have a complete and thorough knowledge of his entire life. Agreed. People forget the good things. The glass is not just half empty, it's full of liquid nitrogen and we're all going to die. Oh, and Clay's hair looks atrocious.

Yeah, I saw discussions on that on CV. Several people eventually opined that it was merely a coincidence and not part of some elaborate conspiracy against Clay. However, some still remain convinced (on CV and elsewhere) that there's something evil going on. The paranoia is getting ridiculous, quite frankly. And it is sad, too, to see how many formerly reasonable people are getting seduced into this cycle of anger and suspicion.

That's hilarious. Too, too funny!

Thanks for the updates, Ansa. I still have 2 hours and 45 minutes before it comes on here! I have a TV in my office, but something annoyingly work related always seems to happen whenever Clay comes on. Sounds like Clay and company had a grand time at the show. I love the impact he and his fans have on shows like MM, Tyra, and Kimmel. I really hope people in the industry are watching. His answers on that questionnaire are fascinating. Interesting that Whale Rider is his favorite "old" movie. And that "Shut Up and Sing" is his favorite current flick. Ever wonder whether he's had a chance to talk with the Chicks, or at least, to talk with Renshaw about the whole situation? Now, of course, I find myself thinking about hunting down that documentary. And YAY for the gold certification!

Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes, fans can be a bit overzealous when it comes to hunting down information. We don't always need to know things before Team Clay is ready to reveal them. In fact, sometimes, I think it's dangerous.

Absolutely. I'll bet they're manuevering to unleash Il Divo as we speak... Verrry interesting... I certainly hope it's true! What a sweetie, playbiller!

Yes, thanks Claygasm. Sounds like Clay was adorable, as usual. Interesting that MM's show, like Tyra's, also taped a Christmas song. Was one taped for GMA? Add in DOOL and the Wal-Mart CD and it certainly sounds like he plans to be visible around the holidays.

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