jmh123

For anyone who hasn't seen it:

FCA pin -- original

bwah jinx...

Ya owe me a coke!

For anyone who hasn't seen it:

FCA pin -- original

ETA:

great minds, ansa!!

Don't know much about non-fiction funny, but since we're talking detective fiction, the Maggody series by Joan Hess is absolutely hilarious. Laugh out loud funny.

You know I don't blame Kim for being pissed and I think she replied nicer than a lot of people would. I believe her when she says that Ruben and Clay both told her they were on board with this, when she presented it to them. Then the next time she called, Clay told her to have their managers get together. No matter if that is the standard line or not, I believe she truly believed Clay was willing to do it. So I'm sure she felt confident in giving that info in her interview. I don't believe she gave the info to Billboard with any agenda to use Clay. Then when Clay's fans found out about it and raised all kinds of hell and trashed him, he responded with a "tone" towards Kim. Even though he blamed the media she could very easily think he was just passing the buck to her and making her look like a liar and user. Not to mention she has a right to inflict a tone of her own after the way his fans bashed her.

Pretty much what I think. Not sure he ever said he was "on board," but he probably did discuss it seriously with her, but didn't commit. Clay does have an issue with saying things directly when he doesn't want to hurt people (cept when he's pissed), like "Please don't flash that camera in my eyes." He jokes, he hints, he ignores, he hopes people get the message. Sure, she has some responsibility, but sheesh, it ain't that big a deal. Despite the occasional media report of the tour, it still isn't a big deal anywhere but Clay's fan boards, and hopefully it will blow over.

I don't know. I think after having been raked over the coals by Clay's fans for a couple of days and experiencing the wrath of the Aiken, I'd be pissy too. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go.

ETA: Or what KAndre said. And jello with canned fruit cocktail was a special treat for us growing up. Especially on the rare occasions that it came with whipped cream sprayed from an aerosole can. Just one dollop allowed, of course.

Exactly, luckiest, exactly. I was editing while you were typing. It's so true.

ETA: Just an update. I called the "caregiver specialist" for mom's county, who referred me to mental health "crisis & assessment" for the county, who referred me to a geriatric specialist, who wasn't there, so I left a message--but her hours are over now for today and I go to Mom's tomorrow. It's a start. I also got some terminology from the caregiver specialist, which is always helpful. We need "personal care services" and a CNA (certified nursing assistant) who is trained for this kind of thing. I have a list of home care assistants that I printed out a month ago, so I circled the few on the list who were certified, and found one man who has a website, so I checked it out. She might actually accept a man better than a woman. She had a physical therapist once after minor surgery who was male and she really liked him. I called but his line was busy. I'll talk to my mother tomorrow and see how she reacts to the idea this time. Apparently some services are covered by Medicare, which might make her happy. I also have a list of agencies that will send nurses to the home, and some of them accept Medicare.

wandacleo and sheiladownunder, welcome! I hope you post more often.

{{{jmh123}}} Someone needs to kick your sister and her husband in the butt and get them to see the light. I think it would do a world of good if your mom could have some professional help on a daily basis, so that you don't have to worry yourself silly (and work your ass off) trying just to keep up. Plus, you have your own life to live! Doesn't sound like sis & hubby are sacrificing too much. Why won't they at least help you make some important decisions? How can they not see it? Is it a financial thing?

Sorry, none of my business, I know, just trying to help.

Hey, luckiest! No need to apologize. It was so embarrassing to go back after I've written all that and see that I keep saying the same thing over and over and nothing is changing. I'm just going to have to find a way to do something. It isn't just my sister and her husband, it's my mother too. She's the most stubborn about all these issues, and although she's getting senile, she's still "the boss." And no, it isn't a financial thing (although I suppose if I had money, I could just pay for it, but my mom can afford this help), it's them making that adjustment to accepting that my mother isn't acting responsibly and needs more help than she's getting. When I was rereading I read your earlier post about your grandmother's children just not being able to accept the changing situation, and I think that's going on here as well. My sister was the only one taking care of my mother for a couple of years after she gave up her driver's license, and my mom didn't stop doing her own laundry and dishes until I arrived a year ago. All of them are telling me that the condition of the house isn't a problem--but it is a problem! My mother is the "thriftiest" person on the planet. She has clothes that are literally threadbare, but insists she doesn't need anything new. She does care about her yard and how it looks, but she doesn't care about the inside of the house at all. Or she says she doesn't, but she's obviously not acting responsibly. I have a number of an agency that I got a lot of info from on the 'net--it's a local gov't agency and they just advise people--and I just need to go ahead and call them and then I just need to put my foot down.

What an interesting post, jazzgirl!! Way to make an entrance! It'll be a good starting point for tomorrow's discussion. Unfortunately, I need to get to sleep now--it's way late!

It looks like no one is posting here at present, but just in case there is someone out there who is taking care of a parent, I thought I'd drop a line. My Mom came to live with me when my Dad died. She was 81 then, 17 years ago. Now, at 98, she's had Alzheimer's for 8 years (well, probably more) and needs constant care. I took an early retirement 4 years ago to take care of her full time because she couldn't ever be left alone. Now, she's pretty much like a 1-2 year old. She can still walk a bit with help (thank God), and she will often feed herself, but that's about it. Anyone else in the same boat?? Similar boat??

Similar boat--not nearly as demanding yet, but....if you read back in this thread you'll see my long frustrated post one day when I was really at my wits end. My mom is 94, on her way to being senile. Some days she's like a three year old, other days, just a ditzy forgetful adult. I moved back here to help take care of her, and am in complete limbo as to where this will take us next. She won't move out of her house, and I won't move in with her because the place is a pit--I just couldn't bear to live there. She's let the place deteriorate terribly as she's basically just been waiting to die for years. She still lives alone, and my sister, her husband and I each go at least one day a week. It's about 45 minutes away for me--not too bad. She can still feed herself and dress herself and do the basics. So far, it's OK to leave her alone for a day or two. She's just really hard to deal with, more and more childlike, and very stubborn. When I first got back here, my biggest worry was that she wasn't eating right at all--just ice cream and mixed nuts--so I got some routines going and made some changes and things are pretty good there. Now the big problem is personal hygiene. She won't bathe nearly often enough, and is extremely resistant to being told to bathe. She wears the same gown for weeks. She has "accidents" and hides them, and won't wear adult diapers. She leaves disgusting bits of kleenex and toilet paper everywhere for me to pick up. The house reeks really badly. She won't rinse her dishes after she uses them and and stuff grows in them and adds to the smell. She has accidents and doesn't clean up or tell anyone about them. She multilates herself--scratching at little growths on her skin til they bleed or come off--and now she's taken up pulling her toenails off (just one so far but my sister says she's working on another one now). She called today to talk about how happy she was that my brother-in-law did yard work all day and "would've worked inside too but I wouldn't let him." I hung up the phone and just cried. He was supposed to change the bed and wash clothes, and now I'll have to do that, and clean up the floor and do the reeking dishes and try to get her to take a bath and do errands and whatever else needs doing. No matter how much I do I always feel as if I need to be doing more--it's a huge house--and no one but me seems to care about the condition it's in, and I just barely can keep up with maintaining the status quo. I go home completely exhausted after a day there, yet I constantly feel as if I'm not doing enough, and feel so guilty about the conditions she's living in, but she and the others don't much care. I can't make any big decisions on my own--everyone has to agree. I keep trying to organize a big cleaning party, but can't get anyone else to do it. My mom calls a cleaning service every six months or so, but they just do a superficial cleaning. I think we need to hire a nurse or someone to come in and clean every week, or both, but my mother is very resistant. I need to get a job, but it has to be a job that allows me the flexibility to do my part taking care of her and be able to do more when the time comes, and that kind of job is hard to find. It's all just more than I can take sometimes, emotionally. And yet it's probably a cakewalk compared to your situation!!! So please, tell us more so I'll see how good I have it!! I think of people like you, or ansa taking care of her daughters, or all the other people out there doing caretaking, and I really don't have it bad--it's just the emotional adjustment and trying to figure out how to parent my parent when I never even had a child.

ETA: Lilyshine has been down this road too--maybe she'll hit "view new posts" and discover this thread. She eventually found a home for her mother when things were more than she could handle, but she had to work. My lot probably sounds like no big deal--it looks silly when I read it, but I've always had little apartments and worked, and have never been a domestic creature. I got "washer woman's thumb" after a few months here, and so all the cleaning is physically painful as well. And all the time I'm doing it, my mother's saying I'm so "fastidious." This is a woman whose kitchen floor you could eat off when I was a kid--I don't understand why she stopped caring!!

ETAA: And now I look up ^^^ and see I've said all this before. So I feel even stupider. And my sister agreed about a companion and said she'd take care of it, and, well....nothing has happened. GRRRR.

So couchie, what is your mom up to? Overnight with a friend? Woah!! Couchie is not the whiner I am. Her mom lives with her and has had lots of health problems and couchie has been through a lot.

That was it, keepingfaith!! Must've hit it accidentally. Thank you. :F_05BL17blowkiss: And thanks for reminding me I was funny at least once. I love funny people--like that Clay Aiken guy--and always wished I could be spontaneously funny all the time like them.

YWT and the ranting and raving over his singing (GOD FORBID) a hymn??

I hate to say this, but the lunatics have been a constant force; they're just getting worse.

Hey, I was one of those YWT lunatics. First and last time. That's when I learned my lesson--let Clay be Clay. Heh.

Hey booksmart!! Welcome, and great first post!!

Is anyone else getting the box to insert a term for bolding instead the codes just going in when you highlight and hit bold??

oops, more coding mess to fix--no need to quote myself

Yikes--well that experiment was a bust.

Oh, I'm just happy as shit to figure out how to post pictures. Here's one of my all time favorites!!!

This picture is just One of my all time favorites too!!

I forgot to thankkiermar for the great post!!

Oh Lordy! Don't get me started on LTS.

OMG, Couchie's gonna be jumping on you and humping your leg - LOL.

I love the book for the glimpse into Clay's life that it gave me, but if it had been about any other person I wouldn't even have finished it.

I thought it was written at the level of a teenager or young adult, and no, not great literature, but I thought it was a good read.

Oh, one of my favorites, was when he added "Still the One" to the set list of the NAT and left out a verse and the fandom went nuts because they thought he didn't want to sing the line "still the one I want to wake up to in bed"

And that song brought us Angela's headlights and the "scratch my itch" gesture. I saw the latter for the first time in Syracuse and my mouth nearly opened to the floor. I was like, "I can't believe he just did that."

Hey, trophywife ! Welcome. I remember you from TwoP and CH. Glad to have you here, and come on down to the main thread and post an emoticon or something to get your feet wet.

Unfortunately there is nothing to be done. The "respect for other posters" and "no board on board" talk means no self examination, no dialogue, no fixing things for next time.

Self examination is good.

I agree couchie. Every board is entitled to make their own rules, of course, but I believe that being able to air differences and discuss conflicts is really necessary at times, and that things fester if you don't that can eventually destroy a board or at least, make people reluctant to post and drive members away.

Now the way you do the discussing is important, but I don't think you can make rules to make people be nice to each other. You have to foster an atmophere of trust and respect, and our admins have done a fine job of that. And what the heck is wrong with respecting Clay as much as we respect anyone else? I've never understood that. Sure, criticizing Clay is OK, but there's a respectful way to do it, and a mean and cruel way to do it. I don't understand why some boards allow so much of that, but, again, that's their right.

Y'all have read it enough already!

But I DO care, and am fascinated by, comments like jmh's above. I tend to agree with you somewhat; I might agree more if I had ventured to poke my nose out of here (which I did not).

But I'd LOVE to hear~why you think that is? What has caused the huge turnaround from the days of wine and roses....to the days of whine and noses out of joint? And do you think we'll ever get it back?

Some boards will never get it back, I hate to say it, but that's what I think. I think there's always been OTT behavior, just as I said in that post. But there's an atmosphere of hysteria that's become more and more prevalent. One cause, already mentioned by cindilu , the EW blurb, but more than that, some supersekrit message that went flashing around to the mods of all the big boards and other folks--the content of which I've never heard. This was closely followed by a barely veiled suggestion at the OFC that Clay wanted us to let RCA know that we all hated the idea of a covers album, and pretty quickly this became the accepted POV on the big boards--saying you didn't mind the idea could get you a big smack-down in a hurry. Along with this was a back channel suggestion, gradually made more public, like RCA was behind the tabloid shit in an attempt to control Clay and make him record those covers, and these grew into "RCA is out to destroy Clay": because he dissed Clive in his book, or they just don't like him, or he's leaving RCA after this album so they want to "devalue" him." Add in the Gnat and his lies, and the participation of a segment of the fandom in trying to "handle" that situation for Clay, and all of a sudden you've got a fandom that thinks we need to protect Clay from his "enemies" and that those enemies are everywhere. I can now and then get sucked into that one myself--it's a powerful force. That has its roots in AI, of course, the anomaly, and things that followed, but it's grown much, much worse, IMO. Instead of celebrating the joy, the focus has turned to smiting the enemies. That's just my take on it.

I felt I started seeing it before the JNT05, the nasty criticism of that show before it was ever seen really made me hurt for Clay

Good point--I hadn't thought of that. And the new songs on the JBT--not well received in board posts. I guess I haven't done a good job of explaining why I think the intense criticism and the intense defending go together. Others have done better with that today--hubris, entitlement, and so forth.

Putting sugar on grits amounts to a hate crime around here.

I can only hope that y'all can indulge in some deeeep self-reflection and see the error of your ways.

BWAH!!!!

The other food that I really don't like all that well, with one exception, is chocolate covered fruit. It's weird, because I love chocolate (the darker the better), but the combination of fruit with it turns me off. The exception? Fresh chocolate covered strawberries. Food of the freakin' gods.

You are me (except for the strawberries). Don't like fruit on my entre either. There are some restaurants these days where there's fruit in the butter, fruit in the bread, fruit in the entre, fruit in the chocolate, fruit in the martinis, fruit in the coffee, fruit in everything--me, I like fruit all by itself, and in pies and pastries and stuff, I like fruit mixed together, and fruit in yogurt, but that's it.

Spikesmom! So glad you finally posted. I've seen you lurking for a long time! I always thought of Buffy's Spike when I saw your name, you'll be happy to hear.

Is anyone else suddenly getting a pop-up window for bolding and ital. Whahappened??

I just had a sudden "insight." I put it in quotes because I'm not sure whether it's an insight or just a wacky thought.

(Please pardon the use of the collective "WE", I know not everyone partakes, but it scans so much better!)

It was about the rampant (hee) hubris that seems to permeate the collective fandom. There is immense pride about the amount we spend on Clay shi stuff, the number of concerts we go to, the amount of clack we collect, the polls we spam and on and on. Some of this may be justified, but there is an underlying neediness to be top, first, best that is disturbing at times. There seems to be a very real inability to let go and not control everything - including other people's feelings, thoughts and musical tastes. (Clayversion, anyone?)

Perhaps it is hubris that gives the fandom the sense of entitlement. The right to chastise Clay for putting on weight, for selecting which audience member to talk to, to decide on his own career path.

I'm not sure where to go with these thoughts. I'm just throwing some ideas out there. I'm sure jmh can do a much more articulate job of it.

But hubris in mere mortals is always punished in very amusing ways like having your liver pecked out every day.

I think this is very interesting. I'm brain dead at the moment, but I think you're on to something. Yin/yang--everything is its opposite and all that--maybe the hubris is born from whatever the opposite of that is, and that's why there's such an air of desperation about things sometimtes.

Play, maybe if someone is upset at what you or anybody is writing, then they can understand how what was said about Clay and his friends might feel to him. Maybe? Just? If they apologize to him maybe I'll reconsider thinking this fandom has serious issues. But I don't expect to see this or anyone recognize that the collosal breakdown of graciousness is a more serious matter than what happens in one little corner of the world. My two cents.

Just a general reminder that this is an open board with no back rooms and cubby holes.

Exactly!! Or if you're upset about something you think was said about your friends, same dealie.

xxx4clay, thank you for your rant. I ranted earlier and then felt guilty, and you reminded me why I needed to do it. Thing is, I ranted and got a few hugs, and I feel better now. I don't hate the entire Clay fandom anymore--I have perspective. Ranting has its purpose, and talking things through afterwards is even better. You are very welcome here. I've always enjoyed your posts elsewhere--love your clack too. I think you'll fit in very well here. And I think West Virginia is just the most fantastic and wonderful place with intelligent people and gorgeous scenery. (Am I overdoing it a little?)

{{{jmh123}}}... you'll never change anyone's mind, just as they'll never change yours. For me, that's the answer. As simplistic as it sounds. It's just a fandom. Why try?

I agree that you'll never change anyone's mind. Some might argue it would be more constructive to try, and once upon a time I did try, but I gave that up. Now I mock and pontificate instead, cause it makes me feel better, but it does sometimes concern me that my doing so appears to alienate people or harden them in views that I think are just stoooopid!

Grits are the perfect conveyance for eating lots of butter and sugar! (see ldyj's note above)

Butter and salt yes, sugar nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've eaten grits, just ask jmh123. Although I think she ate more of them than I did! But they were loaded up with butter and cheese!

Those were some good grits too!! What's yummy is grits with scrambled egg and cheese and bacon bits. MMMMMMM.

I often give great thought prior to posting my thoughts. I rarely submit in haste.

But, I have most times than not...the feeling that I am unable to articulate or express myself

without being misunderstood.

I never stated that Kim was 100% responsible for this situation. I gave credit to her, her management team, label, and Billboard. I will take the heat for posting my thoughts, but I honestly don't believe that I even implied that she was solely to blame. Is it possible that Billboard published false statements attributed to Kim Locke...I personally, highly doubt that action took place.

I agree--you didn't. You said she bore some responsibility. I think you just sparked some further discussion about whether she was to blame at all, how much, and so forth.

Been a rough couple of days, hasn't it? to all who need 'em and even those who don't.

Oh, the humanity!

See, now I'm gonna have to watch the Food Network for some surprise ending commercial. Dang you, Scarlett!

Gimme a hint: Is there decapitation involved?

And Couchie's right - we (I) do need to hear if I (we) could have expressed myself better - because I know I am very fond of a bitter kind of humor...

KAndre, I have to say that I love the way you express yourself and wish I were better at really good humor instead of serious pedantic stuff--I'd rather read your responses than mine to stupid stuff. You're witty and you make people laugh, and, as you've said before, you don't discriminate. You'll make fun of anyone.

I hear you Scarlett, and I know that the moment I start pointing fingers I'm pointing one at myself. It's one of the reasons I bit my tongue and didn't say anything last night, and maybe I am just less wise this morning after seeing one too many anti-Kim posts from someone I wouldn't have expected that from.

I'm glad you still have a great attitude about the boards, and hope you'll keep posting that you feel that way. Sadly, I just don't. But I will, as champion124 also suggested, keep looking inside for some answers. I do know that it's very unlikely that my posting here that I'm ashamed of the fandom is going to change anyone's mind, anymore than laughing about being appalled at the Poddies did, and may just alienate more people and close more ears to anything I might say. I know one could argue that saying something somewhere and and in some way that might make a difference and might change someone's mind would be preferable, and I did try, for a really long time. I've also held my tongue many times, as the hundreds of "post not posted" notepad files on my hard drive can attest to. I'm just really at a loss here, but I will keep searching for a solution for myself.

I hear you, LMF, and I have no problem with your posts about this here. I accept that Kim has a responsibility, I just don't know the specifics, and until I do, I can't judge her (and I don't think you have). I don't accept that she had ulterior motives, or that she needs to be talked about in the absolutely nasty way that I've seen her talked about the last couple of days.

I've been frustrated, sad, amused, and angry many time before, but today I feel deep and abiding shame at this fandom. Going off half-cocked is nothing new, rushing in defense of Clay is old news, hyper-criticism of Clay likewise, but to participate in deep analysis of a news item that was presented as a "maybe," and then to turn around and blame a single individual for it with no benefit of the doubt--it's disgusting. The strong voices should have been saying, "hold off," "give this a little time," "wait and see if it's true," instead of joining in to energize and shape the discourse of criticism of Clay for agreeing to the tour. Then some of the same people are ripping Kim to shreds now that we know he did not, giving her no benefit of the doubt when we of all people should be aware of the complexities of media and PR actions. The cruelty towards Kim as a performer and a person, the smug self-importance of statements implying that "Clay is too good for them," or "their fans should be thrilled that they have this opportunity to tour with someone so superior to them," are simply offensive. The face of this fandom has become bitter and ugly and off-putting. If it is affecting some of us, who are huge fans of the man, so deeply, I can only imagine how it must look to outsiders. Maybe I've just been blinded to some extent, for all my prior fussing about it, but today it has really hit me hard.

ETA: lilyshine, if only I didn't hate cooked carrots...I think that looks really good.