dreamlarge

I completely understand how you feel. My children are younger, but my youngest tends to have that very “private” independent temperament. It seems the situation with your daughter is a pattern that developed early....one that should have been nipped in the bud. But it wasn’t. So now what? The present situation has been brewing for basically six years or just about a quarter of her lifetime. I think the problem stems from a combination of immaturity on her part (independent is not synonymous with mature) and overindulgence on your part (in an effort to give her space and let “her be her”.) I’m projecting....but I would be angry with myself for letting the situation get so inequitable. And I’d be angry with my daughter for acting like a brat. (even great kids can act like a brat sometimes) To me the situation is like an aircraft carrier that needs to come to port. You and your husband are the tugboats that have to get it there. As you know, tugboats are small but strong and highly maneuverable.....especially compared to the aircraft carrier. I sense timidity in the tone of your original post. I think you might need an attitude adjustment. I am of the opinion that what you are requesting from your daughter is completely reasonable. COMPLETELY. REASONABLE. The bond a daughter has for her mother is very different from the bond a mother has for her daughter. It’s just biology. She doesn’t get that. The fact that you need to physically see and touch her every once in a blue moon is normal and natural. I don’t care how demanding someone’s job is, nobody is so busy they can’t find two hours to spare once in a blue moon. In a situation like this the hardest thing for me would be to choke back my anger...even though I know that unleashing that anger will only bring a giant guilt trip. I would have to pray REALLY hard because that’s my Achilles heal. Once I can proceed from love I would tell her the truth about what I feel and what I need. You know she likes to receive mail so write her a letter. Then maneuver her like you’re a tugboat. I do not mean manipulate her. I mean be honest and flexible but firm. You need X and you’re willing to accommodate her...but you expect her to give you X (because X is completely reasonable). That’s how mature relationships work. We each set a price on ourselves. You’re in love with each other...right? Tell her how you feel. Let her be a grown up. Let her be accountable to maintain a healthy relationship with her parents. If she is uncomfortable with the concept of you driving specifically to see her then make her part of some bigger plan (or make her think she’s part of some bigger plan)... a weekend in NY or visiting friends in Chester County. Worse comes to worse....I live in the Philadelphia suburbs. If you want me to, I will go kick her ass for you. Just kidding. Good luck. And keep in mind I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about most of the time.

I think that's a crop of the one I posted early this morning. I didn't think those pictures were to be cropped? eta: because it helps to add the part that refers to what the hell I'm talking about. I am doing a high speed scroll through this thread and I saw your post. I don’t know where I got the picture...I have right click and saved so much stuff I just don't remember. But this is the way I saved the picture. By that I mean this is how I found it. I did not crop the picture. I just wanted you to know that. I take requests made by clack gatherers very seriously. I would never deliberately ignore a specific request. muskifest, I must admit, when he put my eye out Friday night I was pretty surprised that someone hadn't noticed the package situation in rehearsal. I mean it was really on display. heh Alas.

Merry Christmas FCA. I hope everyone here finds a little slice a peace at some point this season. Round one is over. I need to crash because round two starts in about eight hours. All we do it EAT! I would have posted this sooner but the banner is....eh...distracting.

Holy God!

The moustache is a reference to a skit Clay did on his last Kimmel appearance.

That is definitely Mary. S’all I got.

I came to ldyjocelyn’s question about twenty minutes ago. It literally took me that long to drool all over scroll down through all these pictures. You guys are killing me. It wasn’t a blog. It was a detailed feature of an upcoming event in an online newspaper for the Dallas area. The guy saw an easy shot and he took it. Despite what he said…that the paper always snarks on upcoming acts, I looked through past entries and didn’t see any smart ass comments under any other artists pictures. I agree with bottlecap that trying to argue with the people who print such stuff is a waste of time. I read through most of the comments and didn’t see any crap or hate…so I’m not sure what Mike is talking about. The paper took a fun upcoming event and spit out the side of their mouth at it. People just voiced displeasure at seeing yet another ‘prerequisite’ slam on Clay Aiken. At least that’s all I saw. Mike Orren the guy who runs the site closed the comments after only about thirty or so entries…six of which were from the staff. What a wimp….and very typical. They can dish it out but can’t any criticism for it.

I'm glad you did that Bottlecap. I was just coming in here to tell you that this message board is being linked directly from that Pegasus website...by the guy who runs that website.

I swear to god I can.not. keep up with this board. I’m like 18 pages behind in this thread alone. I scored two truly crappy Philadelphia tickets this morning…like in row yyy … behind a pole. I am very Zen about it. I’m in the house and I have ears... (and binoculars). *ommmm* Clay can be exhausting.

So will the remaining hours be spent rescuing Audrey? I hatessssss her.

I lost my mind and got a ticket for Houston thinking it would be the first show, but I didn’t buy a plane ticket yet. I’m not schlepping to Houston from Philadelphia if it’s not the first show. I’m in wait and see mode. I loved your post YSRN. I want to be as reasonable as you when I grow up. I often wish I was more even keeled in my fandom....more casual. I have to admit that Clay Aiken and I have a tumultuous relationship sometimes. I have to give muski’s questions more thought and get back. I was away and offline for about five days following the gala and I swear I am still not caught up. I feel completely out of the loop or something. It’s not good for me to be offline when Clay is afoot. Last night after we returned from dinner at my in-laws I got busted with a picture of Clay as my wallpaper. First let me say...there is no evidence of Clay in my every day life at home. (other than me sitting at the computer) Sometimes when the kids are away, I'll put a picture of Clay as my background on the computer…but that it as radical as I get. When we got home last night my 18YO was the first on the computer to do her AIM thing. The rest of us were in the family room when she calls out... 18YO: Who’s that with Clay? He’s cute. And Clay looks different. ME: blank stare…(I suddenly realize that I must have saved the pix of Clay and Jesse to my desktop instead of my external hard drive. ACK!) 21YO daughter: Who’s cute? We scramble to the computer where the ….ACK!!!!! wallpaper is Clay and Jesse…and ACK!!!! I pounce on the keyboard to make the …..ACK!!!! Clay/Jesse picture GO AWAY!!!! 21YO: WAIT! *beat* 21YO: That’s Clay???? A team of horses couldn’t hold back her amazement. Later she told me that she always thought Clay was …and I quote… “sweaty, greasy, oily, and orangey”. I have no idea where she got all that…other than … *cough* maybe at some point I saved a photo to my desktop of the one time he actually sweated… jeez. I made a little speed montage the other night for Sherrygirl’s birthday. It’s up at You Tube. . It's got gala clack in it....like when he looked directly into ClayIzzaQT's camera as he put that ring in his mouth. The little shit. OMG. Like a hundred people have posted since I started typing this.

OH I so agree. The bucket hat is hideous, the sweater’s too small but there’s something about that broad shouldered, dog totin’, two strappin’ guy that smolders to me. I put my name on the group list for Philadelphia because I’m a lemming…and I always panic. For Wolf Trap JBT I was not part of the group tix. I got my ticket through the fanclub presale and had much better seats than the group ticket people had. I don’t think I’ve ever just bought one ticket to a Clay concert. It’s a sickness. I don’t think I’ll be that bad this time around. (that’s if you don’t count my Pavlov response to the Philly group list). Anyway, Diva, I’ve got you covered.

Sorry to hit and run...but I see bottlecap sets this up. I just have to share. This is a preview of something that Spotlightlover is working on. It's the happiest montage ever. Sleigh Ride I will pay ten bucks to any FCA person who doesn't crack a smile. It's pure fun. Enjoy. All possible lauds go to Spotlightlover. (hope it's ok that I shared. I'm too excited. heh)

Bwah. It'll be a blood bath. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!1!!!!! Clay on tour. It is frustrating the way his tour dates dribble out. I should be use to it by now. But still. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :party038: :04: :04:

When I saw the Singapore picture last night, I wondered if this was the shot that finally made Clay decide to fix his teeth. I knew his front teeth pushed in a little and there were some imperfections but they NEVER jumped out at me in photographs. The only imperfection that waved to me from pictures was the gumminess. But looking at this smile, the front teeth are so obviously misaligned. It seems almost exaggerated (I guess now because I’m looking for it). People often do tend to amplify their own imperfections. ACK! Maybe he thought his smile was hideous. *sniff* I sincerely hope he loves his new teeth, even if I don’t. I’m pathetic like that. I want him to be happy. If Clay ever sang One on One, I would explode. I'm aquiver just thinking about it. Time for a cigarette. Hope you're ok Playbiller. My goal in life is to post without editing.