Ansamcw
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Posts posted by Ansamcw
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Hee...I am glad we don;t have as big a traffic as CH...I fear for their server tonight...
keep our fingers crossed that everything goes well for us too.
So excited. And of course Clay gives us a late present in the form of the Pittsburgh article. Totally love that article, except for the fact that he felt he had to explain his LA statement of course...but I thought that was a great article and made him sound really intelligent and mature.
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July 28, 2005
Great new article...love it. He sure is reading the boards...
Concert Preview: Clay Aiken fills album gap with pop history revueThursday, July 28, 2005
By Scott Mervis, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clay Aiken
Where: Chevrolet Amphitheatre, Station Square.
When: 8 p.m. Sunday.
Tickets: $25-$49.50; 412-323-1919.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the day we reach Clay Aiken, he's in the middle of damage control, a rare situation for the "American Idol" runner-up and contemporary poster boy for everything good and wholesome.
The trouble is a TV Guide cover story in which he admits that the entertainment industry has made him "jaded" and then appears to go on to attack the population of greater Los Angeles, where he now lives.
"I said I felt people there put too much emphasis on the outsides and not their insides," Aiken says. "What I meant to say was 'people in the entertainment industry' and I kind of generalized 'entertainment industry' as 'L.A.' and it came out that way. I read it back that way and went, 'Oh, crap,' and it kind of stirred a commotion amongst fans and whatnot, and that's nothing that would ever have happened to me before.
"I'm surrounded by people in the entertainment industry, not people that I work closely with, but people in general in this business, who, sometimes I think their priorities are wrong. But I just said it one way and now I look like a jerk, and I didn't mean it that way at all. That's not the kind of thing that would have happened to me as a teacher. I would have said something, people would have realized what I meant and I would have moved on to the next thing."
Fortunately, Aiken's little commotion comes on the eve of his next thing, the Jukebox Tour, which makes its fourth stop Sunday at the Chevrolet Amphitheatre. It's a concept show he cooked up to bridge the gap between his 2003 debut, "Measure of a Man," and the follow-up that doesn't seem to be coming along as smoothly as the first.
Aiken will start from the '50s and, with liberal use of the medley, will touch on as many as 100 Top 40 songs from then till now, including a few of his own.
"A friend of mine was in a show in Charleston that was a revue of music from the '60s," he says. "I thought, that might not be a bad idea, why don't I just pick a decade? But I couldn't really pick a decade, so I thought, why don't we do them all?"
Aiken's career as a young adult contemporary singer -- starting when he turned up as a geek and mama's boy from North Carolina on the second year of "American Idol" -- has defied the odds and the predictions of resident "Idol" critic Simon Cowell, who said he was better suited to Broadway.
"When I got off the show, I saw something on Broadway, and said, 'That's a compliment because those people can sing,' " Aiken says. "Anybody who can do seven shows a week and just really full-out sing as well as those people do, if that's how good you think I am, thank you. That was kind of a backhanded compliment. That's where some really talented people go, so thanks, Simon."
Rather than going to Broadway, Aiken, who was studying to be a teacher and describes himself as "dodgeball bait" when he was in school, went west and rode that "Idol" well. He has enjoyed sales of more than 3.9 million, running just behind Kelly Clarkson as the biggest-selling Idol. It was all beyond his expectations.
"I had no faith, to be honest with you," he says. "I'm not a pessimist, but I try to be a realist as much as I can and realize that thousands of people are trying to do the same thing that I'm doing and four people are doing it well -- and I'm not sure that I'm one of them. So, I kind of have to realize that it could honestly end any day. I'm enjoying it while I can. I kind of chalk it up to a good summer camp experience. If it doesn't end up working out for the long term, I have memories that I would never have gotten any other way."
One of the keys to his continuing success is the Claymates, a fanatic fan base that follows his every move on fan Web sites and makes sure that any critic who says anything remotely negative about him is deluged with e-mail (this writer got 65 of them once). So, how does Aiken deal with his Claymates and all their high expectations of him?
"It's difficult for me to answer that. I think they do have expectations and sometimes, to be completely honest, it's almost, well, I don't want to use the word 'burdensome' ... sometimes it's tough to live up to everyone's expectations because they are so enthusiastic. And some people want my hair to be short, and some people want my hair to be long. And some people want my hair to be blond, and some people want my hair to be brown. It's hard to please everyone, but in general, they do kind of help keep me sane, because they are so enthusiastic and I'm constantly wondering why the heck people like me. I don't even get it. I get confused every time I see a fan site, I just laugh. I think sometimes they think I'm better than I am. It's tough to live up to their standards, but it's a good challenge for myself."
Which brings us to the long-awaited follow-up to "Measure of a Man," which was scheduled for the fall but is looking more like early spring. Aiken is working with producer Jaymes Foster-Levy, and the challenge is to find 11 or 12 songs he can really get excited about. "We're not going to rush it this time," he says.
Does that mean he wasn't happy with the first one?
"I wouldn't say that," he says. "I was new. We walk off the stage of 'Idol,' and two days later, I was handed my songs by the label: 'Here you go.' Fortunately, I liked them all. I think they did a halfway decent job of picking songs that I sound good on. But a lot of the songs were angst-driven. 'I Survived You' and 'No More Sad Songs' -- it's not necessarily any emotion I wanted to express. There were definitely elements that I thought were good, the songs were good. I was thrilled to work with the producers I got to work with. But this time, I want this one to be everything I want. You kind of have to fail on your own. If I don't have a full stake in it and it flops, I have an opportunity to blame someone else. If I put this together and it flops, at least I can say it flopped on my terms."
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Great new article...love it. He sure is reading the boards...
Concert Preview: Clay Aiken fills album gap with pop history revueThursday, July 28, 2005
By Scott Mervis, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clay Aiken
Where: Chevrolet Amphitheatre, Station Square.
When: 8 p.m. Sunday.
Tickets: $25-$49.50; 412-323-1919.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the day we reach Clay Aiken, he's in the middle of damage control, a rare situation for the "American Idol" runner-up and contemporary poster boy for everything good and wholesome.
The trouble is a TV Guide cover story in which he admits that the entertainment industry has made him "jaded" and then appears to go on to attack the population of greater Los Angeles, where he now lives.
"I said I felt people there put too much emphasis on the outsides and not their insides," Aiken says. "What I meant to say was 'people in the entertainment industry' and I kind of generalized 'entertainment industry' as 'L.A.' and it came out that way. I read it back that way and went, 'Oh, crap,' and it kind of stirred a commotion amongst fans and whatnot, and that's nothing that would ever have happened to me before.
"I'm surrounded by people in the entertainment industry, not people that I work closely with, but people in general in this business, who, sometimes I think their priorities are wrong. But I just said it one way and now I look like a jerk, and I didn't mean it that way at all. That's not the kind of thing that would have happened to me as a teacher. I would have said something, people would have realized what I meant and I would have moved on to the next thing."
Fortunately, Aiken's little commotion comes on the eve of his next thing, the Jukebox Tour, which makes its fourth stop Sunday at the Chevrolet Amphitheatre. It's a concept show he cooked up to bridge the gap between his 2003 debut, "Measure of a Man," and the follow-up that doesn't seem to be coming along as smoothly as the first.
Aiken will start from the '50s and, with liberal use of the medley, will touch on as many as 100 Top 40 songs from then till now, including a few of his own.
"A friend of mine was in a show in Charleston that was a revue of music from the '60s," he says. "I thought, that might not be a bad idea, why don't I just pick a decade? But I couldn't really pick a decade, so I thought, why don't we do them all?"
Aiken's career as a young adult contemporary singer -- starting when he turned up as a geek and mama's boy from North Carolina on the second year of "American Idol" -- has defied the odds and the predictions of resident "Idol" critic Simon Cowell, who said he was better suited to Broadway.
"When I got off the show, I saw something on Broadway, and said, 'That's a compliment because those people can sing,' " Aiken says. "Anybody who can do seven shows a week and just really full-out sing as well as those people do, if that's how good you think I am, thank you. That was kind of a backhanded compliment. That's where some really talented people go, so thanks, Simon."
Rather than going to Broadway, Aiken, who was studying to be a teacher and describes himself as "dodgeball bait" when he was in school, went west and rode that "Idol" well. He has enjoyed sales of more than 3.9 million, running just behind Kelly Clarkson as the biggest-selling Idol. It was all beyond his expectations.
"I had no faith, to be honest with you," he says. "I'm not a pessimist, but I try to be a realist as much as I can and realize that thousands of people are trying to do the same thing that I'm doing and four people are doing it well -- and I'm not sure that I'm one of them. So, I kind of have to realize that it could honestly end any day. I'm enjoying it while I can. I kind of chalk it up to a good summer camp experience. If it doesn't end up working out for the long term, I have memories that I would never have gotten any other way."
One of the keys to his continuing success is the Claymates, a fanatic fan base that follows his every move on fan Web sites and makes sure that any critic who says anything remotely negative about him is deluged with e-mail (this writer got 65 of them once). So, how does Aiken deal with his Claymates and all their high expectations of him?
"It's difficult for me to answer that. I think they do have expectations and sometimes, to be completely honest, it's almost, well, I don't want to use the word 'burdensome' ... sometimes it's tough to live up to everyone's expectations because they are so enthusiastic. And some people want my hair to be short, and some people want my hair to be long. And some people want my hair to be blond, and some people want my hair to be brown. It's hard to please everyone, but in general, they do kind of help keep me sane, because they are so enthusiastic and I'm constantly wondering why the heck people like me. I don't even get it. I get confused every time I see a fan site, I just laugh. I think sometimes they think I'm better than I am. It's tough to live up to their standards, but it's a good challenge for myself."
Which brings us to the long-awaited follow-up to "Measure of a Man," which was scheduled for the fall but is looking more like early spring. Aiken is working with producer Jaymes Foster-Levy, and the challenge is to find 11 or 12 songs he can really get excited about. "We're not going to rush it this time," he says.
Does that mean he wasn't happy with the first one?
"I wouldn't say that," he says. "I was new. We walk off the stage of 'Idol,' and two days later, I was handed my songs by the label: 'Here you go.' Fortunately, I liked them all. I think they did a halfway decent job of picking songs that I sound good on. But a lot of the songs were angst-driven. 'I Survived You' and 'No More Sad Songs' -- it's not necessarily any emotion I wanted to express. There were definitely elements that I thought were good, the songs were good. I was thrilled to work with the producers I got to work with. But this time, I want this one to be everything I want. You kind of have to fail on your own. If I don't have a full stake in it and it flops, I have an opportunity to blame someone else. If I put this together and it flops, at least I can say it flopped on my terms."
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ANNOUNCEMENT:
We have created seperate threads for every concert. This is where we will put all commentaries, recaps, cellcerts, clack alerts, reviews and articles for a specific concert. Discussions of the tour in general will be done in the General tour discussion. Tomorrow we will be doing a cellcert report from the CH cellstream and we will also pick up cellcert reports from the Clayboard. This will all be done in the Toms River thread. At this time we invite people to join us and give reactions and commentaries on the concert...we will have our first cellcert party...bring whatever drinks or junk food you wish...boas and blings are preferred but not required...
We are also putting the video and audio clack we can acquire in the media section. Since we don;t have huge server space we will be relying on "you send it" so these files will be available for 7 days.
We have also set up a Jukebox category in the Gallery. Members can upload concert pictures under the concert categories, under specific concerts or they can set up their own member albums. We do require people to give credit to the photographers when they upload pictures. If the photographer is unknown...please indicate the source of the photo...hopefully the photographer will be able to claim their picture in the future.
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ANNOUNCEMENT:
We have created seperate threads for every concert. This is where we will put all commentaries, recaps, cellcerts, clack alerts, reviews and articles for a specific concert. Discussions of the tour in general will be done in the General tour discussion. Tomorrow we will be doing a cellcert report from the CH cellstream and we will also pick up cellcert reports from the Clayboard. This will all be done in the Toms River thread. At this time we invite people to join us and give reactions and commentaries on the concert...we will have our first cellcert party...bring whatever drinks or junk food you wish...boas and blings are preferred but not required...
We are also putting the video and audio clack we can acquire in the media section. Since we don;t have huge server space we will be relying on "you send it" so these files will be available for 7 days.
We have also set up a Jukebox category in the Gallery. Members can upload concert pictures under the concert categories, under specific concerts or they can set up their own member albums. We do require people to give credit to the photographers when they upload pictures. If the photographer is unknown...please indicate the source of the photo...hopefully the photographer will be able to claim their picture in the future.
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Hee...bottlecap I have a similar experience but this time with my daughters....One of them just asked me what the O pin was about...I just said its an inside joke about an orange...so she asks...what's that got to do with Clay...Nevermind hon just too hard to explain.
BTW...we have the full WOBM Toms River interview at theFCA website , scroll down and right click and save.
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Posted at the Clackhouse:
WOBM Interview Part 3During AI, Claymates in Ocean County were calling and e-mailing the station; one woman even brought donuts over to get them to play Clay.
Clay laughed and said that he'll let his promo team know that for his next album, it's 'donuts for everyone!'
DJ said to make them chocolate glazed, as they're his faves...Clay just laughed.
Asked how he handles fame...usual shift-F1 type answer. Used the word 'agoraphobia', so I'm impressed.
Asked about AI4...said he visited AI4 once, only watched a little bit as he was out of the country; he missed most of AI4 and was out of the country for the finale. He's very good friends with Kelly, his season, and season 3 people, but doesn't know much about the people from season 4.
Asked about specific AI people:
Carrie: great, wonderful, won with country sound, represents that demographic
Bo: met very briefly, the nicest person ever to come out of AI
Fanty: well, she's from NC, so you can't say anything bad about her! Wonderful, distinctive voice
Diana: sweet girl, don't know much about her, like Hillary Duff.
That's all...nothing new or earth-shattering at all. Hopefully part 4 will have more goodies!
WOBM Interview Part 4"American Idol Superstar Clay Aiken"
Asked if he and Ruben still keep in touch: they talked just two weeks ago, Ruben is busy working on his new album.
Asked about travel: out of the country with UNICEF, visited Indonesia and Uganda ("horrible situation there")...hopes to talk about it more in the coming months.
Asked about GMA: yeah, we're doing it again, we were there two years ago. (really, Clay?)
Any parting words for the fans in Ocean County? Wherever I go, the fans get better and better...nothing but appreciation and amazement...astounded by your support...looking forward to seeing the fans soon.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
The Return of the Rules! (and I have to say, I admire the way my minions are implementing the plan!)
76. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.
77. Since nothing is more irritating than a hero defeating you with basic math skills, all of my personal weapons will be modified to fire one more
shot than the standard issue.
78. All members of my Legions of Terror will have professionally tailored uniforms. If the hero knocks a soldier unconscious and steals the uniform, the poor fit will give him away immediately to all meers.
79. If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)
80. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandparent. When the hero launches into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids.
81. I will not appoint a relative to my staff of advisors. Not only is nepotism the cause of most breakdowns in policy, but it also causes trouble with the EEOC.
82. I will order my guards to stand in a line when they shoot at the hero so he cannot duck and have them accidentally shoot each other. Also, I will order some to aim above, below, and to the sides so he cannot jump out of the way.
83. I will instruct my fashion designer, Mrs.R, that when it comes to accessorizing, second-chance body armor goes well with every outfit.
84. I will instruct my Legions of Terror in proper search techniques. In particular, if they are searching for escapees and someone shouts, "Quick! They went that way!", they must first ascertain the identity of this helpful informant before dashing off in hot pursuit.
85. Whenever plans are drawn up that include a time-table, I'll post-date the completion 3 days after it's actually scheduled to occur and not worry too much if they get stolen.
86. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad.
87. I will allow guards to operate under a flexible work schedule. That way if one is feeling sleepy or some good clack comes along, s/he can call for a replacement, punch out, take a nap, review the clack, and come back refreshed and alert to finish out his shift.
88. If I am dangling over a precipice and the hero reaches his hand down to me, I will not attempt to pull him down with me. I will allow him to rescue me, thank him properly, then return to the safety of my fortress and order his execution.
89. I will add indelible dye to the moat. It won't stop anyone from swimming across, but even dim-witted guards should be able to figure out when someone has entered in this fashion.
90. If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and half turn. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero, I can scan the area behind me, and if anything was heading for me it will now be heading forhim.
91. I will not outsource core functions.
92. If I capture an enemy known for escaping via ingenious and fantastic little gadgets, I will order a full cavity search and confiscate all personal items before throwing him in my dungeon.
93. I will not hold lavish banquets in the middle of a famine. The good PR among the guests doesn't make up for the bad PR among the masses. (Thank you PR & BBQ Stand!)
94. If my mad scientist/wizard/rocket scientist tells me she has almost perfected my Superweapon but it still needs more testing, I will wait for her to complete the tests. No one ever conquered the world using a beta version.
95. I will explain to my Legions of Terror that guns are ranged weapons and swords are not. Anyone who attempts to throw a sword at the hero or club him with a gun will be summarily executed.
96. I will remember that any vulnerabilities I have are to be revealed strictly on a need-to-know basis. I will also remember that no one needs to know.
97. During times of peace, my Legions of Terror will not be permitted to lie around drinking mead and eating roast boar. Instead they will be required to obey my dietician and my aerobics instructor.
98. When my Legions of Terror park their vehicle to do reconnaissance on foot, they will be instructed to employ The Club.
99. Members of my Legion of Terror will attend seminars on Sensitivity Training. It's good public relations for them to be kind and courteous to the general population when not actively engaged in sowing chaos and destruction.
100. I will not, under any circumstances, marry a man I know to be a faithless, conniving, back-stabbing bastard simply because I am absolutely desperate to perpetuate my family line. Of course, we can still date. Until Clay becomes available. Then the back-stabbing bastard (though cute) can be executed.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre gleefully rubs her hands together - World Domination is not only on schedule but under budget! She makes a note to suggest a green Auborgine velvet and silver frogging or embroidery color scheme to Mrs. R - and pirate shirts. She makes another note to explain to Shiiiiine that Oil O'Clay is definitely not for hair. Heh.
51. All members of my Legions of Terror will have professionally tailored uniforms. If the hero knocks a soldier unconscious and steals the uniform, the poor fit will give him away.
52. I will instruct my fashion designer that when it comes to accessorizing, second-chance body armor goes well with every outfit.
53. My Legions of Terror will be an equal-opportunity employer. Conversely, when it is prophesied that no man can defeat me, I will keep in mind the increasing number of non-traditional gender roles.
54. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
55. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded; also, my doomsday machine will have a highly-advanced technological device called a capacitor in case someone inconveniently pulls the plug at the last second. (If I have access to REALLY advanced technology, I will include a back-up device known as a battery.)
56. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
57. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
58. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
59. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
60. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
61. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
62. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to either 1.55Mb or 999Mb in size.
63. If I build a bomb, I will simply remember which wire to cut if it has to be deactivated and make every wire red.
64. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
65. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.
66. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.
67. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.
68. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to close quickly in an emergency.
69. Since nothing is more irritating than a hero defeating you with basic math skills, all of my personal weapons will be modified to fire one more shot than the standard issue.
70. If I come into possession of an artifact which can only be used by the pure of heart, I will not attempt to use it regardless.
71. The gun turrets on my fortress will not rotate enough so that they may direct fire inward or at each other.
72. Before appointing someone as my trusted lieutenant, I will conduct a thorough background investigation and security clearance.
73. If I find my handsome consort with access to my fortress has been associating with the hero, I'll have him executed. It's regrettable, but new consorts are easier to get than new fortresses and maybe the next one will pay attention at the orientation meeting. rattboi, take notes.
74. If I am escaping in a large truck and the hero is pursuing me in a small Italian sports car, I will not wait for the hero to pull up along side of me and try to force him off the road as he attempts to climb aboard. Instead I will slam on the brakes when he's directly behind me. (A rudimentary knowledge of physics can prove quite useful.)
75. To keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access and clack.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre takes a brief break from polishing her rhinestones (you'd be amazed at how laughter-generated spit dulls the shine!) to cover some small misconceptions: her third person asides are done by the voice of George Hamilton (who will say anything you like for a jiggle or two) instead of the voices in her head that say things like "never build a sentient computer smarter than you are" hmmmm, Rule 189! KAndre also takes a moment to smirk at goatlady, institches, ficus, musicmama, jamtrac, Phoenix, Sparklish, shadowsgirl, RG 31, IdolMom, Churchmouse and Lowrider - give it up gals, rattboi is irresistably seduced by my miasma of adorable evil (thanx p_s and Tsathy) - add that to the bling covered boobage and HE IS MINE! BWAH HA HA....uh wait, no more maniacal laughter, dammit...OK, it's cool now). She then adds "Smite weeds and TicketBastard" to the list of "What To Do After the Vox Have Converted the Masses and You Have Achieved World Domination". She also adds several names to the list of people who "fear" her, as unlike Clay, she sees no problem with Machivelli's fear/love thing. And she does too have a rudimentary understanding of impulse control - just doesn't see the point!
35. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If s/he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
36. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
37. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
38. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
39. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
40. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
41. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
42. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
43. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
44. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
45. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
46. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
47. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
48. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
49. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
50. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre plans the total and absolute destruction of the radio station KRBE as soon as her plans for World Domination come to fruition.
21. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
22. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
23. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
24. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
25. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
26. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
27. will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
28. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
29. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
30. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
31. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
32. Tsathy, this is for you: I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
33. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
34. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
35. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre surveys the Kingdom of Do-Me with quiet satisfaction, as the propaganda machine is now kicking into high gear...it's a Perfect Day to be the henchman of a princely Evil Overlord complete with video treatment...her horde of willing minions is growing and she has special plans for Tsathy and purple_stapler...
Claybee, you might surprised at the number of failed attempts at World Domination as documented in a number of "fictional" movies and novels due to lack of forethought; we have plenty of appropriate resources here tto fill in our needs - and frankly, it's cheap - more of the meers are willing to work their little paws to the bone for clack - so you can save money for the payola for the next single, PD. More rules:
11. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
12. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
13. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
14. I will hire a talented fashion designer (MrsRosencranz, I'm lookin' at you) to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
15. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
16. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
17. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
18. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
19. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
20. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre, who is lying on the floor twitching at the thought of the combination of Clay's mouth and those lyrics, decides mel ladi is definitely a worthy seat-filler for Cesario except for the decided lack of comments re: pitch and uniqueness. But an excellent effort! She contemplates the obvious conclusion that Prince Clay (madcow makes an excellent propagandist) has taken much of The Prince to heart and is ready for the next step: The Rules for a Successful Evil Overlord. Clay, sweetie, here are the first ten:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
4. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
5. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
6. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
7. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
8. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
9. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
10. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
Sweetie, you sing. I'll handle these little details.
ETA - As the chief henchman of Prince Clay, I will tell y'all that the rules have to credited elsewhere, and as a good Evil Overlord to be, I just appropriated them. More are forthcoming.
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Originally posted by KAndre61 at the Clackhouse:
KAndre looks around the Internet and realizes it is time for phase two of Clay Aiken: Acquiring World Domination, since after sending Clay her favorite copy of Machiavelli's The Prince with the following passage in Chapter 6 highlighted:
Therefore a wise prince ought to adopt such a course that his citizens will always in every sort and kind of circumstance have need of the state and of him, and then he will always find them faithful.having crossed out "state" and replaced it with "clack".
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Our very own World Dominatrix KAndre has revealed her plans for Clay Aiken: Acquiring World Domination
This was first revealed in the Clackhouse more than a year ago, and now she has given her permission to share her plans with FCA...
Hopefully she will share her latest plans with us in the near future...*crosses all fingers and toes*
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Its the day before the the opening Concert of the JBT....I woke up feeling so much anticipation of this event that I cannot help but feel a bit of apprehension as well. Some comments on what's been happening in the Clay world....
AH and TVG comments: Some fans are now worrying that his comments will make Clay some kind of pariah in the industry. Personally I don't worry about that because in this industry money and talent talks. People are used to working with difficult people because they are dealing with artistic temperaments and as long as Clay is making money for them and continue to grow in his talent he will have people lining up to work with him. I believe there are bigger assholes in the industry who are still working and making money. This is not a popularity contest, I think Clay is just learning he can't always be mister nice guy. I do think he had a tough time getting his way with this album. I bet he won that battle but he probably sustained a few scars.
The JBT: I think this tour proves that Clay is totally serious about his career and that he loves to perform. He didn't have to tour this year. He certainly earned enough in the last two years that he could've sat back and taken it easy. But I think he needs to connect with people. I bet he needs this as much as we do...
I love the fact that he decided to do a theme show. This is not going to be embraced by the oh so cool critics, but I don't think he did this to get industry cred...I think he did this because he needed to entertain and he loves all kinds of music. So he is going out and giving this his all..unapologetically. He is embracing the cheese and I'm sure he will make us love it. He has nothing to be embarrassed about because there are enough people out there who will love what he does. It won;t make verybody happy but that's okay...I think that woudl be an impssible feat anyway. So I hope Clay simply has fun with this show...that is how I will approach this...FUN! FUN ! FUN!
The little bits of music we heard just proves to me Clay can sing anything...he sounded magnificent in the songs we heard...I am so excited...specially to hear the new song he will sing. I do believe he will try to get it ready for GMA.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!
Finally...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANDRE...in your honor all Mods will be wearing our glittery boas and stillettos..
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The audio clips to the TomsRiver WOBM interveiw is up on the FCA news...scroll down and right click and save
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I just put up the pictures from MSNBC article. Its in The Gallery under professional photos.
This show looks like so much fun and I can;t wait to hear what song he was singing with Savon...
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Since I never had a problem with the TVG article I also thought his comments were spot on. I don't think it would really upset people in the industry. Again I see this as Clay getting positioned as an outsider in the industry...this is where he gets his edge. He is not a conformer...he will march to his own tune...and really this is an admirable attitude for artists.
We was very cute...and his voice is marvelous...I think the probelm I will have with this tour is I won't get enough. I bet I would then wish he sang each song in its entirety.
There were also several pictures up in MSNBC of this rehearsal...some shot is of him sitting by the Piano singing a song...Very GAH!!!!! sexy and cute...I will be putting it up in the Gallery in a bit...a long with more screencaps.
We will also put up the two AH clips on you send it.
these clips are from the Clackhouse (available until Next Tuesday)
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EEEEEEEEEEEE....
there is a clip on Access Hollywood where he expounds on his statements about LA...
scroll down ...
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Not that any of us would ever do this again, *grin*, but . . .
Over at The Clackhouse we've been thinking about something additional for our holiday pin, which you view here. If we can get the ribbon loops actually cut out, we're thinking you could put one of those hanging thingies through that and hang the pin as a tiny ornament on one of those small, table-top Christmas trees. It seemed like a really good idea, so I thought I'd pass it along.
that looks totally cute and I think a great idea for the holidays...something to think about
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EEEEEE some more vacation photos are up on the OFC...Clay on the beach with friends...still wearing a shirt and long shorts..
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We have the Cleveland radio interview up in FCA Website Scroll down to July 26 news...right click and save.
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Roseviolet...BWAH...thoseare hilarious!!!!!
Oh this is goign to be so fun cataloging his clothes for this concert...we need a wardrobe person for FCA to keep track of all these.
#1 - Ready for your constant state of celebration
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