MEMO
To: Clay Aiken's Stylist, Clay Aiken's Publicist, Clay Aiken's Manager, Head of Decca Records, Clay Aiken's Personal Assistant and especially to CLAY AIKEN!
From: Your...drool, slobber, thud...fans
Re: Attached picture
Please study the attached picture; note every detail, from the sunglasses on the head, the hair length and color, the stubble (just the right amount) and the outfit...especially notice the jeans (takes a moment).
Your mission is to make sure that Clay Aiken adheres to this look at all times...especially while in concert, meet and greets (Oh Lord!) and any and all personal appearances.
At no time must he deviate from the "look"...(okay, the stubble may bother Parker, so he can shave in his off time)
I might also suggest that full length thudmats be designed to be sold at the OFC and all concerts for the safety and comfort of your fans (oxygen and defibrillators might not be a bad idea either)
Your prompt attention to the above matter is greatly appreciated.
(please excuse the drool and lipstick marks on the picture)
personal to Clay: "Are your sure you are gay? Really, really sure?