jazzgirl

My favorite TV interview was the GMA Diane Sawyer TITN immediately after AI2, closely followed by the Clay/Ruben Today show GBTUSA on Memorial Day 2003. That's when I knew that I had to find out more about this guy (I only watched the last few AI2 shows), and that's when I started searching the internet. Amazingly, I'm still here over five years later.

This is so cute! (I haven't been around for a while and didn't know what it meant until I clicked on it)

I wonder how our wide-eye wanderers are doing. From Reuters:

Typhoon Nuri shuts down Hong Kong By James Pomfret

Fri Aug 22, 7:47 AM ET

Typhoon Nuri churned through Hong Kong on Friday, shutting down most of the financial hub with gale-force winds and disrupting hundreds of flights.

The tropical cyclone signal was upgraded to a relatively rare No. 9, one short of a direct hit, as Nuri closed in on the city after wreaking a path of destruction in the northern Philippines.

The last time a storm of such severity hit Hong Kong was typhoon Dujuan in September 2003. Around four hundred flights were cancelled or delayed by early evening, including those of the city's two major carriers, Cathay Pacific and Dragon Air.

It wasn't immediately clear how the city would cope with the backlog of over 400 flights. A spokeswoman for the Hong Kong Airport Authority said arrangements would be made with the airlines, with flights likely to resume after midnight.

Much of Hong Kong ground to a standstill on Friday with the closure of financial markets, schools and offices. Howling winds swept across the former British colony, uprooting trees and churning white-tipped waves in Victoria harbor.

Streets were largely deserted and shops shuttered, with trees and scaffolding being toppled by winds of up to 94 kph (58 mph) recorded in parts of the territory.

The typhoon weakened to a severe tropical storm as it headed northwest along the Guangdong coastline towards the gambling hub of Macau, where flights and ferries were also cancelled.

In China's Guangdong province, tens of thousands of people were evacuated from coastal areas and fishing boats called back to port. The Guangdong meteorological bureau warned it might be the strongest typhoon to hit the province this year.

Hong Kong's Olympic equestrian events, however, were spared the worst of typhoon Nuri, with the last showjumping event successfully concluded on Thursday night as the weather began to worsen.

I appreciate you posting my news, annabear, and thank you all for the condolences :F_05BL17blowkiss: . Annabear and I have a connection in that my mom passed on her birthday. Tomorrow will be three weeks. I took a reasonably healthy 83 year old to the hospital in hopes of improving the quality of her life and came out with a dead body. The death certificate says she died of kidney failure. More accurately, she died of medical miscommunication, inattention, and a fragmented, uncoordinated system. Life is not valued in hospitals, especially the lives of elderly people who are labeled as "having co-morbidities". I practically lived at the hospital for the 16 days mom was there. It was and continues to be a living nightmare, only now the nightmare is the "life without you" part. A mother is truly irreplaceable.

We just had an announcement. Our flight has been moved again, this time to 6:30 in the morning but we're going to get vouchers for a hotel.

This is starting to get really worrisome... I didn't mention it before but I am continuing on to visit relatives in Manila. I still have some buffer room with my connection (that was booked on another airline) but it's shrinking rapidly.

Thanks for all the hugs and good wishes to everyone who's posted! Talk to you from the hotel.

Aikim's reports of tales from our "Happy Wanderers" got me here. Big hugs :F_05BL17blowkiss: for them on their journey. I have a "giggle" song for Scarlett to help pass the time and lessen the travel angst: Think yodel (*Spam gave you some practice for this*). In a moment of perversity, "Happy Wanderers" reminded me of The Sound of Music's "The Lonely Goatherd":

What a duet for KAndre and Scarlett, lay odl lay odl loo

As for your connection, I have confidence that you will get there anyway you can.

Welcome to preden and hugs to annabear on the roll-away cans; I've had the same thing happen, only in the store's parking lot and the cans roll under cars!

:F_05BL17blowkiss: Back at you to Aikim and Annabear

{{{{Hugs}}} for muski. I remember when I was 13 and I wouldn't want to go back there for anything.

Anyone care for a 3-on-3 game? If you could only take a very teensy mp3 player with you on a v. long trip (think Mars or Space Station), and you could put 6 songs on it: 3 Clay Aiken songs and 3 non-Clay ones, which would you pick?

I'll play!

Clay songs or "I love Christmas Clay"!:

All is Well - hands down, my absolute favorite, I listen to that year-round!

Celebrate Me Home - my favorite singer covered one of my favorite songs, so a perfect mesh!

Don't Save It All for Christmas Day - I love the message and "the note"

Non-Clay or "I love Broadway and Broadway voices":

Being Alive from Company by Raul Esparza

Man of La Mancha by Linda Eder

Old Man River by

Speaking of "Hips Don't Lie", that is quite the video!

:00003653: Ansa

The pasta bar sounds like fun!

Couchie!

I was surfing around and found this montage of Clay spouting raspberries at the choir teacher who cut him from the high school musical...... I never saw this one!!

Does anyone know what musical they put on that year? :F_05BL17blowkiss:

I think it was "Guys and Dolls" -- too bad for them. Imagine hearing this with everything Gibby wrote about Clay's voice and you'll have an idea of what they missed out on!

<snip>

Oh, yes! Clay would have made a great Sky Masterson in "Guys and Dolls" (Peter Gallagher in the 1992 Broadway version was my favorite). IIRC, somewhere from the recesses of my memory, I "think" Clay was offered the role performed in the 1955 movie version by Stubby Kaye with the song "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" (a svelte Marlon Brando was that movie's Sky Masterson). Why settle for the Stubby Kaye role when you could outsing Marlon Brando or Peter Gallagher?

ldyjocelyn, about your knee.

Interesting Tony Awards trivia: the actor who won for best musical performance, Boyd Gaines, was Barbara Cooper's dentist boyfriend in the 1980s TV show "One Day at a Time". It is amazing what 25 years does to a person!

http://goldderby.latimes.com/awards_goldde...gaines-not.html

<snip>

And there are some things in a celebrity's life that are news - no matter what you say. It's news. Having a baby - especially when it's with someone 29 years your senior - is news!!!! Having a baby in a non-traditionaly way is news.

<snip>

The age difference is about 20 years and eight months *g*, not 29 years. I heard recently that approximately one-third of all births are to unmarried partners, so that part is not unusual. The unusual part is a pregnant woman over age 50 as this article describes.

Maybe Clay will do a "father's day" blog tomorrow

Couchie, for you and your mom; glad to read that all she needed were stitches. What a scary thing to happen!

Does the new bio mean that his career is not over?

Is the Pope Catholic? *jokey rhetorical question*

He can turn my world on with his smile!

*Starts humming Mary Tyler Moore theme song:

"Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile"*

IIT, I remember reading about legal commentator Nancy Grace, who gave birth at 48 and had life-threatening post pregnancy complications of blood clots in the lung, and an wondering if any comments from the alleged parties will not be made until after the health of the mother and child are reasonably assured.

Also IIT, I also remember other cases of assisted reproduction cases among those wealthy enough to afford it. The actor, Randy Quaid, was recently in the news because of his newborn twins who received a heparin overdose, and were also incidentally born via surrogate. Also, the Iraq-injured former ABC anchorman Bob Woodruff had twins born of a surrogate mother (IIRC, his wife had a hysterectomy). Of course, Joan Lunden has had two sets of twins via surrogacy. In the celebrity world that Clay and Jaymes inhabit, a woman seeking genetic material from someone she shared a deep friendship with doesn't seem that far-fetched to me.

IIT, I just see two people who decided to make the most of their time as long as they're here and their calculus of this was to share a child together.

And thank you, too, jazzgirl. That article you posted reminded me just how lucky I am to have the support I DO have---an amazing husband who really is a partner in all the responsibility and (at least for now--until we end up in the poor house!) the ability to have Mom in another place where there's always someone around to help her if she needs it. There's always someone in worse straits, isn't there?

True, it is helpful to count your blessings, and as you said, how can you begrudge an 87 year old mother in love? As for the poor house, what jumped out at me in that rather touching article was the private nurse that the man's family hired in addition to having the patient in the nursing home. I had heard about that extra layer of protection before and those fortunate few able to afford that level of care, as that likely doubles (at least!) the normal nursing home fees.

Happy Birthday, justclay!

After story after story about how poor Paul Newman is dying from cancer, there was a little article in my paper this morning saying that he's fine and that the person--to whom the original story was attributed--was "misquoted."

Go figure.

Or it could just be the family's attempt at a completely understandable "zone of privacy" by issuing a denial, even if he is ill. Go figure is right.

Given the page-producing topic of conversation, Dylan songs such as "It Ain't Me, Babe" (IINT) or "Lay, Lady, Lay" (IIT) seem oddly appropriate.

FCA CiSNO who tulibu dibu douchou thinking WTF re. a-IVF by JFnoL & CA...

So does this, it actually makes sense!

"Ladies Who Lunch" - that's pretty cool! I'd never heard of it, but it was a really good song!! I guess Elaine Stritch did it on Broadway in the original cast of "Company"? I couldn't help but click on the Carol Burnett version that came up after I watched the one that was posted by jazzgirl. Carol has always been a favorite of mine!!

Thanks jazzgirl! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

I loved Carol's version too; as someone commented, she made it her own. As a matter of interest, Carol Burnett is married to a man 23 years younger than she:

http://www.angelfire.com/stars4/lists/coup...fferences2.html

Favorite duet evah. I feel so blessed to have seen it live. And getting the DVD it's as good as I remember. You know that Aiken fog... sometimes you never know. heee. Their voices just meshed so beautifully. Sigh. I still have a serious girl crush on Hannah. Wonder if she'd like to join our little commune.

Wow to have heard that live, couchie. What kind of a commune is FCA, or has this been discussed? Anarco-sydicalist, as indicated below? Maybe at least in terms of selecting thread titles *g*, where a majority does rule for internal affairs.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes

Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

Woman: No one lives there.

King Arthur: Then who is your lord?

Woman: We don't have a lord.

Dennis: I told you, we're an anarco-sydicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week...

King Arthur: Yes...

Dennis: ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...

King Arthur: Yes I see...

Dennis: ...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

King Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis: ...but by a two thirds majority in the case of...

King Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

All this talk of libations here, reminds me of Elaine Stritch's "The Ladies Who Lunch" in Company. I keep hearing "I'll drink to that". If anyone wants a good drinking song, here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fwfimjV4dQ

Here's to the ladies who lunch--

Everybody laugh.

Lounging in their caftans

And planning a brunch

On their own behalf.

Off to the gym,

Then to a fitting,

Claiming they're fat.

And looking grim,

'Cause they've been sitting

Choosing a hat.

Does anyone still wear a hat?

I'll drink to that.

And here's to the girls who play smart--

Aren't they a gas?

Rushing to their classes

In optical art,

Wishing it would pass.

Another long exhausting day,

Another thousand dollars,

A matinee, a Pinter play,

Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.

I'll drink to that.

And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls who play wife--

Aren't they too much?

Keeping house but clutching

A copy of LIFE,

Just to keep in touch.

The ones who follow the rules,

And meet themselves at the schools,

Too busy to know that they're fools.

Aren't they a gem?

I'll drink to them!

Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch--

Aren't they the best?

When they get depressed,

It's a bottle of Scotch,

Plus a little jest.

Another chance to disapprove,

Another brilliant zinger,

Another reason not to move,

Another vodka stinger.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

I'll drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go--

Everybody tries.

Look into their eyes,

And you'll see what they know:

Everybody dies.

A toast to that invincible bunch,

The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.

Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch--

Everybody rise!

Rise!

Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!!

Tony's are on this weekend!!!!!!!!

This seems like it would fit here with problems others are having; it's an "Exhausted Caregiver" Q&A from Salon.com (if you click on the link, the "letters" written in response are also a good read).

Jun. 04, 2008 | Dear Cary:

The last six months of my life have become a living nightmare. I had already been taking care of my elderly parents, who live near me. My mother suffers from early midstage Alzheimer's and my father has a myriad of ills that include diabetes, neuropathy and mild depression. We have an aide for them who comes during the day, but all of the emotional caretaking, the doctor's arrangements, the errands etc. fall to me. My sister lives in another country, and my niece is about to get married and is a typical work-driven busy person.

In November, my husband suffered a stroke. His physical state has somewhat improved over these months, but he has been left with aphasia and some cognitive diminution. He is in a subacute nursing facility, and our great hope is that he will be home by the end of the summer.

I am completely and totally overwhelmed by everything I need to be doing for him and for my parents. In addition, prior to his stroke, my husband became involved in a long, drawn-out legal case that continues unabated, costing me legal fees and much concern for our financial status.

Last, and greatest of all, I feel like I have lost my husband, my mother and to some extent my father. They are alive, we are a loving family, but our relationships will never be the same. It is agonizing to try to parse what my husband is saying, and he can't be of any help to me in dealing with our legal/financial crisis. They are all completely dependent on me.

Friends and family are sporadically concerned, but I have never felt so lonely in my life. I feel like I have ceased to exist as an autonomous being. My time, my energy and my thoughts are taken up with providing medical care and emotional attention, filling out forms, talking to bureaucrats and medical people, and trying to provide them with somewhat of a social life. My husband comes home on the weekends and by Sunday night, I am completely drained. I have an aide two hours a day on Saturday and Sunday, but I get very little sleep, as he needs to be changed usually twice a night. On Monday I am close to catatonic and usually don't recover until Wednesday.

Coincidentally, I had been between jobs when my husband took ill and I have not been able to sustain a consistent, concerted effort to get a job. I find that my mental energy is depleted for anything but what I have to do each day. Also, the job market for 49-year-old women is not exactly stellar right now, despite all the articles about employers looking for older, steadier employees.

I am in mourning for my husband, my parents and my life. And I am sad and angry at how alone I am, how unfocused and meaningless my life feels.

I am not a religious person and I feel like I have no cushion, no support and nothing to fall back on. I can't continue to live like this. I feel like my life is over.

How do I regain myself? Do I even exist anymore?

Undone

Dear Undone,

Yes, you do exist. I know you exist because you wrote me this letter. But you are exhausted. You are so exhausted that you have begun to doubt your own reality. That is understandable. We cook, we play tennis, we teach. We have roles. When we play our roles, we remember who we are. When for some reason we cannot play these roles, when the people we play them with are not available, and when we are exhausted by endless work and emotional ups and downs, we feel lost. We used to cook, play tennis and teach. Now we change blankets, deliver medicines, mediate, schedule, run errands, make appointments, deliver patients to appointments, keep watch, administer pills, prepare meals, clean, do laundry, get people up in the morning and put them to bed at night, plan their days, listen to their woes, explain them to others, apologize for them, help them walk, keep them from danger. In the midst of all this we ask, Where is the person we were?

We have to get that other person back. But there does not seem to be time. Our former life seems like a luxury, an indulgence, when every task is urgent. We think we can handle it. We shove our needs aside. We think we can manage. But soon we are lost. We are exhausted. That is what happens.

So there are many things you need to do. You need to get more help. You need to get more rest. You can't fix this all at once. But you can start with small steps.

For some of the things you need to do, you only need a minute or two. What about these errands you are running? The time between when you leave the house on an errand and when you return can be yours. You can take some of that time. You can pull off the road. You can take a detour. You can claim five minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, for your own. Say you are driving to the pharmacy. Take the long route that goes through the forest. Pull off the road in the forest. Turn off the engine. Sit in your car. Breathe. Get out of your car. Make sure you have your keys in your hand. Lock the door. Walk into the forest and stand in the forest under the trees, breathing, listening for the sound of birds. Take a few minutes in the forest. Breathe. Or take the route that goes by the river or the ocean or a lake. Sit down by this body of water. Look at the water. Take five minutes. Look at your watch. If it is 10 after, stay there, sitting, until 15 after.

Take the time you need. Your body needs this.

You need a program of self-care. If you belong to a gym, take a detour to the gym and spend 20 minutes exercising. Get in the sauna or whirlpool. Take this time for yourself.

See your doctor. Have your blood pressure taken and check your nutrition. Ask your doctor if there are physical signs of the increased stress you are under.

Ask everyone for help. Ask your caregivers, ask the agencies that provide them, ask your parents' doctors, ask your insurance company, ask your friends, ask your niece, ask your sister: Ask everyone for help.

Get more respite care.

You say you are not a religious person and have nothing to fall back on. That has got to change. You don't have to get religion. But you have to get support. No, "support" doesn't sound right. Not support. Power. Aid. Workers. Labor expended on your behalf to your tangible benefit. That is what you need. You need human power marshaled on your behalf. You need more people with shovels. That is what people sometimes do not understand: An overwhelmed caregiver does not need sympathy or emotional support as much as she needs tangible aid.

You need emotional support as well. You do not have to be religious to take seriously the need for emotional support.

Consider these suggestions. Yes, they come from a Catholic organization. You do not have to be religious to understand the common sense in these words. You can also find emotional support in other places. If it is possible to join a group of other caregivers, do so.

Take concrete steps, even aggressive steps, to involve your niece. Pick her up and take her with you on errands. Pick her up and take her with you to your parents' house. Just involve her. Put her in the car. That way you will not feel so very, very alone. Also, if you can, get help with case management. Identify things you are doing that are case management functions -- and see if you can turn them over to caregivers or nurses.

Oh, and, three, see if by concentrating on caring for your father, you can increase your father's ability to care for your mother. That is, try to cut back on emotional care-giving and concentrate on tangible tasks.

Take care of yourself. Find moments in the day. Carve out time for yourself. Get yourself back.

I really think her volunteering one day a week some place would be good for her too..although I'm not going to push her into too many things at once

I think this sounds promising. Keep us posted. It may work because your mom, IIRC, is a "young" senior. I tried taking my mom to a senior center run by seniors that had lunch, bingo, and discussions, but most of the seniors there were fairly active people in their 70s who were in much better shape than my mom, so she really didn't fit in. The other seniors were solicitous of mom, but she was like a child promoted out of her grade level, so it didn't work.

Congrats to future MIL, aikim! Finally, after four daughters, you're gaining a son!

I never thought of this as a mean board, just as one having an above average representation of no-nonsense, robust personalities.

I love some of Clay's listening choices. I am madly in love with "Gabriel's Oboe" and really, really like Buble's "Everything"; when I first heard the latter, I thought what a great song that would be for Clay! Other than the requisite AI mentions, I thought Clay's choices were eclectic (Andrea Bocelli) and esoteric (the above-mentioned "Gabriel's Oboe"). Does Britney have a list? *g*

Thanks so much for the beautimous pics, Gibby!!!!

I hope people aren't reliving their experience and everything that came with it.

I'm reliving it all -- that tingly shiver in my spine whenever he whispered "dark" as in "You would rather die than leave us in the dark" and the surge of passion that begins with "You were the Victor and the King" until I pretty much stop breathing from "You are the strength when we have none" on to the end when I'm left gasping as he is slowly lowered from the stage. If anyone beside me had stormed off in a hissy fit during that time I wouldn't have noticed nor would have cared unless the now empty seat were closer to the center than mine, giving me an opportunity to move up.

heh, now that's just smutty!!

Not smutty at all. Think career as a romance novelist. The "floor photo" as cover art. Title? "Love Needs No Airbrushes". I think that could give "love means you never have to say you're sorry" a run for its money.

I have found these useful, the bed cane, in particular:

couch cane

bed cane

I just have one more little thingy to add about Idol last night. I'm a Ruben fan, to a point, but that version of Celebrate Me Home was journeyman at best. I don't think that's going to kick start his career.

I don't think a kick start is the aim of TPTB, just a way to mitigate questions about whatever happened to Ruben, given that AI Rewind is covering season two and also to preserve whatever credibility the show has as a vehicle that finds successful artists.

Couchie, I do know it is important to keep a humidifier clean:

http://www.doityourself.com/stry/cleanuphumidifier

No offense, y'all, but unless it relates directly to Clay, I'd rather see political talk anywhere but here. The media is pervasive (and contentious) enough for me and quite frankly, I crave a place to take a break from all that turmoil, which is only going to intensify.

I could not agree more. Seeing one particular campaign banner here made me want to "run away" to quote some Spamalot-ese. Far, far away.

Play asked a good question, especially with your mother's occupational background.

Couchie, is it possible to "hire" a friend of the family or neighbor to look in on mom? Last time that I checked on this, home health aides were fairly reasonable (RNs not so reasonable!), but finding a quality, trustworthy person can be difficult.