djs111

My take on "pod" stuff is that it really takes away from being a fan - being a hypercritical, doubting, carping fan is just a contradiction in terms. And, really, it is not so much that I "don't want to believe" - it is that I don't honestly see the point - all I see is that whatever Clay actually DOES has gone by the wayside. Plus reading constantly about conspiracies, about what Clay SHOULD have done, or should do, reading constantly about what someone else has decided he wants to do - excuse my French, but it has become extremely fucking boring. I am a Clay fan, not a fan of what people who are entirely unconnected to Clay in any way have decided he should do. So.....it is not that I "don't believe" - it is that I find it completely uninteresting, and prefer to get my Clay news straight up, not shot full of holes and translated by people with kinda weirdly focussed agendas. Hey, those contest rules will be posted any day now; I am just consulting with Jane and Maggie about how much I can get away with! Thanks to all who giggled!

playbiller said: (.....djs111 (who does NOT watch Heroes, and is QUITE ALARMED) takes careful note to re-think concert-buddy room-sharing arrangements.....) haha! playbiller - you are almost over-qualified for the contest! If you win, I will throw in a Beadazzler with your box of decals! Hmmmmm.....I like poking fun at stuff I find absurd - laughter is good! Angst is bad! And other homilies! Yes, I could take the high road and ignore stuff, but they don't sell wine or beer up there, so that is not an option. Also, ignoring stuff isn't fun unless the fact that you are ignoring stuff is apparent, so you have to let that be known, and then of course you aren't really practicing ignoringacitionality, so you might as well have some fun! See why I need the wine and beer? 60 minutes - Cooper was kinda poking fun at Simon's pomposity, and Simon is just a very rich, very secure person. They showed what I consider the screechiest clip of Kelly I have ever seen, plus she has oddly streaked hair, and also a little clip of Carrie - chosen for volume of CDs sold. Other than that, this was about how rich and fabulous and kewl Simon is, not really about A.I. alumni per se. Lessee, the zero trio and Ryan are all buddies, Simon is responsible for a crapload of record sales, Simon drives an Indy car and gets critiqued by Mario Andretti and two rather more current champion drivers (one of them criticised Simon's shoes) - Simon is a happy guy, feels (correctly, IMO) that peeps who try out for A.I. and really suck are being done a kindness, and that no one is dragged on kicking and screaming. If anything, their parents are to blame.

Yo! Yo! Yo! I am holding a sooper sekrit new contest - the rules are kinda fuzzy and it takes a year to play. I call it The Amazing PR Apprentice Rockstar Survivor! Why post a sooper sekrit game on the internet for all to see, you ask? None of your business. Okay, it is because I was gonna PM people, and then the PM list got kind of unwieldy, and then I lost track of who I already PM'd, and then I figured that people would tell other people about it even though it is sekrit, and then those people would PM OTHER people just to brag that they knew a sekrit, and then, given the nature of the internet, people I forgot to PM would be IMing me and asking why THEY were not invited to play Malibu Barbie Rockin' With the Minor Celebrities, and I HATE IMs, so I have decided just to tell everyone about it all at once. I have trademarked that. OKAY......to play the game, you sign a statement giving me the right to keep all profits, humiliate you on YouTube, and pick whatever winner I choose. Just kidding - all winners will be determined by the HitsDailyDouble guy. No exceptions, no excuses, because YOU will have picked the drop date! After signing the statement, you will be mailed a Build Yer Own Popstar kit - you will get a CD with a short performance and personal stats from a list of willing Idol rejects and bootees. Willing to sign a deal with the devil (or a middle-aged woman) for fame and fortune, that is! (Disclaimer - I could have said "hot young babe", but that is not very funny. See page 17 of The Best Practices of Writing Funny Stuff.) O/T - during my exhaustive research for this game (oh, okay, I assigned the research to my hott personal assistant guys, shhhh!) I found out that the devil does indeed wear Prada! Who knew??!!! Markdowns, knock-offs, and ebay bargains - but yes! Prada! Anyways, you pick the singer whom you feel most deserves being guided to Fame and Fortune by your very own self. NO, you cannot pick Clay Aiken; he laughed uncontrollably and tore something in his throat when asked to participate. Which means he will hum all his songs and sign all his banter for the first two concerts, but hey! hopefully those will be attended mostly by people who don't like his songs anyway, so it's all good! The kit will contain a humongous list of tasks - finding a record label, finding the songs to record, hiring musicians, scheduling concerts, getting your guy on first, second, and third-tier TV shows - big-assed list, indeed. You will be graded on these tasks - get him on Leno - three points. Piss off Leno's assistant by calling 17 times to futz self-importantly about the food in the Green Room - you lose three points and have to place him as the Eukanuba spokesperson at the Westminster Dog Show. (Not as cool and slam-dunk for reaching all those pet owners as it sounds, Eukanuba had to do a recall because it has, um, killed some pets. But you knew that.) Magazines!!!! People? Good! Future Farmers of America 4-H flyers? Hmmmm....may just reach that desirable young hott agricultural demographic! Just as good! Use your show-biz contacts! If you have them! There are many many other tasks, like instructing critics what to write, but if I list them all here, why, ANYONE could create a rockstar! It would be easy as pie! And we can't have that! And now for the prizes. If your singer sells over a million CDs within four weeks of dropping, you get front row seats at all concerts and appearances for you and your cohorts, in perpetuity. Your guy will always thank you profusely from the stage, you will get a spot, and people will cheer, and gnash their teeth, too! The resulting sound will be kinda icky, but that would really be the best! You will get a lifetime supply of just-a-wee-bit-too-lowcut tshirts that say "I made ????????? who he is today, and he loves me more than he loves his own Mom - but in a totally hott and sexy way!" You can also get free breast implants so that this verbiage doesn't wrap around and under your armpits, if necessary. If you already own tshirts like that, you will be given a big box of iron-on decals; no use in wasting money! You get to attend all his M&Gs and stand next to him, smiling smugly at the line of supplicants, and "accidently" ruin their pictures with him. In fact, you get to BE in every picture with him. Or do I repeat myself. You get to decorate his home, pick his friends, pick his clothes, hell, you can even pick his nose and sell those boogers on ebay! If your little guy fizzles out, and by "fizzle out" I mean sell less than a million in four weeks and not be mentioned or seen in various forms of media, at least 10 times a day, every day for the entire year, for no apparent reason, YOU LOSE! If I told you what happens next, you wouldn't play The Amazing PR Apprentice Rockstar Survivor Game! And that would be no fun! For me! I am still ironing out the details for the various tasks (by "ironing out the details" I mean "thinking stuff up"), so don't get all excited and start calling Madison Square Garden and Wal-Marts and Babyface yet, okay? Plus I need to find out why "pie" is "easy" - and I am HOPING it doesn't have anything to do with the movies.

Hmmmmm.....I will be travelling with Traveler to Palm Beach, Biltmore, and maybe Atlanta. If there is an FCA meetup somewhere I will also try for that too! And maybe I can hook up with playbiller and Fear for some others!

I honestly think TC couldn't/can't release the all fucking tour dates because all the fucking venues had prolly not signed all the freaking contracts and such - you know how testy Clay fans get when TC jumps the gun and announces something that doesn't happen! I don't think this is all under their control, not at all, and I bet it is even more difficult to plan since they have to arrange an orchestra in each town instead of bringing everything and everyone they need in the bus and trucks. heeee! Maybe they will wait until every.single.one is signed, sealed, and delivered next time - although in this case, I think they just released what they knew for certain because fans are calling every possible venue and asking about Clay anyway. (I got an email from Ruth Eckerd Hall here in Tampa Bay - no Clay, dangit. Um, dunno why they sent ME that!) Broker tix - I read somewhere that people who have season memberships at some venues already have their exact seats paid for, for the season, and thus they can sell them before the official sale. I know this is true at the Ford Amphitheatre here, and I used to have season tickets for, say, the Broadway Series in Orlando and Tampa, and I had my seats assigned and paid for months in advance. Anyway, eventually we will all be here: :club0: Yeah, Clay looked annoyed in that clip - glad he is paparazzi-worthy, sad when they are intrusive. I do think that any celebrity who uses LAX needs to quite expect that stuff, tho! Happy St. Patrick's day! Although I draw the line at green wine - do they still dye the Chicago River bright green? I have seen that in person several times, and it was always startling. I tried to make our chicken green for today, but failed. :.(

Hey, playbiller, you can be MY friend for $15 - I take paypal! Heeee!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! for the tour!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! for the tour!!!!!!!!!! So far, I most likely have Atlanta and Palm Beach on my plate, and hopefully the Biltmore!!!!! Can't wait to see what the other venues are!!!!! (Oh, the reason I can use so many !!!!!!!! is because other places have turned theirs back in - I don't even have to try and stretch them out like this: !!!111!1!!!11111!! - there's LOTS to go 'round!!!!!) Hey, Ms. Couch Tomato - I wasn't eeee-ing to the Beatles EVER, I was more of a Stones girl, but the White Album is a very mixed bag, some songs quite self-indulgent, others are great. Now that I think about it, I would pay to hear and see Clay sing Rocky Raccoon (my favorite on the album).

I found this article about iTunes yesterday.....may be old news to some, but does explain how iTunes picks and chooses what to "push" - and.....drum roll.......Yes! YES! YES!...... Clive is responsible for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! Haha! Just kidding! And here is the illuminating article that is referred to: Music's New Gatekeeper (WSJ) Um, lessee, which emoticon will properly portray the horror and suspicion that some feel towards iTunes....... :3:

I figure a lot of people had fun within the contest parameters - but I also figure that perhaps a very few people didn't really read or comprehend the part that said "wait for the rules". (Or maybe didn't think the rules applied to them, or maybe they thought they could read Clay's mind and thus "know" the rules?) It seemed to me that once a few days had passed with no rules or whatever, the contest was not real, because Clay knows how "enthusiastic and creative" his fans are! I am thinking that yeah, it was blowing off steam, and personally, I think that some of the things that got worked on may have had more to do with the creators' agendas than with Clay's tabloid problems. I don't believe he really likes truly nasty or intrusive crap made up or projected on to his friends and family, and I would have been surprised if he had further encouraged stuff like that from his own fans. Especially stuff that would most certainly be cut and pasted elsewhere. Prolly several cans of worms there. I think the rantlet served its purpose very well, though! Got picked up by the media, and kept some fans busy and occupied for a bit, and I bet there are all kinds of funny creations out there, ready to be shared! He made his point. JMO and all that! I am looking forward to seeing some of the creations; maybe we can have a thread for them??????

Yes, House was a rerun. But I lurved it anyways. Lots of funny this day, and may I mention that I am eternally grateful for the fact that "snark" sounds so much kindlier and fuzzier than "sarcasm". Sniff! And maybe I am alone at the FCA, but it always makes me giggle to see that everybody here is some form or degree of "member". Members waving and smiling all over the place. I hope that anyone who has created a "scandal" that is too cerebral for us ordinary folks to understand will also post a simple explanation, so we can appreciate the thing!

New House just started - for some reason it is on tonight and not tomorrow night. Sounds like fun to see some of the photo-shop thingies - and I assume no one was nutty enough to make an R-rated one for an OFC contest!

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys have COMPLETELY missed the super sekrit message - Clay used VEGETABLES!!!!!! I have spent the day discussing the deep inner meaning of the vegetable emoticons with a board of esteemed marketing and public relations people. By "marketing and public relations people" I mean "my Siamese cats, Maggie and Jane". By "board" I mean "bored". Anyway, Maggie and Jane are pretty smart - they get waited on hand and foot, for free, and are for the most part too stuck-up to even say thanks. Sooooooo.....after a long discussion - by "discussion" I mean that I talked to them about the various pronouncements and theories, and in return they either kept their eyes closed, kept their eyes open, or slowly and kinda haughtily blinked - we arrived at several equally pointless SWAGs. (One or two "theories" made them saunter over to their litter box and do whatever it is they do in there, very noisily, with much scratching and pawing; I left those theories out). Since we did come up with several theories, they insisted that I list them all, so as not to seem all-knowing about something that is both insignificant and unknowable. A. While signing things, Clay has found the lists of diet suggestions and commands and such that fans have sent him over the years, exclaimed "My goodness! I did NOT know that vegetables were good for me! This changes everything!" and he used the gamboling carrots and such to signal that he now understands and obeys. B. He has been approached by many purveyors of fine foods with pleas to endorse peas. And rutabagas. And turnips. Because even though many foods in any grocery store would actually KILL him, and that seems a bad thing to mention to consumers, the produce departments of the nation are hoping that he can get the Claymates to run out and buy up all those fresh vegetables, especially the hard-to-move kinda cabbage-y smelling ones. Clay hated to turn anyone down, and he does care about our health, so he gets about a million bucks for each two-steppin' green pepper and such - the money comes out of a pool put together by a consortium of grocers. No, not THAT kind of pool, silly! What are you thinking? C. Clay accidently clicked on a "Get millions of emoticons for FREE! We only ask that you let us load your P.C. with nasty marketing cookies!" pop-up, and the veggie emoticons made him laugh, so he used them before he ran marketing-cookie-deleting software on his machine. Coulda been penguins, coulda been eyeballs, just a random thing. D. Clay is laughing his fine ass off, watching people debate the meaning of the emoticons. He prolly won a bet. There you have it! Or not! (Disclaimer - no vegetables were boiled, minced, diced, mashed, or otherwise harmed during the writing of this post, and no endorsement, positive or negative, can be inferred, either. So there.) (Note that I am a SUBTLE Claymate - just ONE emoticon.)

I would say that my favorites of Lucinda's CDs are Car Wheels On A Gravel Road and Essence. Some of the songs are brilliant - Are You Down?, I Envy the Wind - porniest porn - Lake Charles. And then a couple of earlier CDs. But I will always buy one of whatever she records. Watched AI rewind a little bit ago - Christina Christian sang something completely pitchy, and the judges lapped it up - weird. Kelly did sound great.

Ooooh - one of my favorites - Lucinda! And I lurve her without knowing much of anything about her. I just buy her CDs. Funny thing, Lucinda has cred out the wazoo - singer, songwriter, etc. etc. etc. - but I found an article once that explained how some of her fans were highly PISSED OFF because Lucinda had not personally suffered and been in agony as much as her songs would lead one to believe. Kinda creepy of them, really. Her manager or someone like that explained that she is an artist, not a reality show. (well, that is my boiled down version of what he said). Reminds me of someone else, somehow. I'd like to hear Clay sing Blue, another one of her great songs.

For some reason, that quote from one of the disgruntled AIers popped into my head this morning - it was "I'm Clay Aiken, hear me roar!" - and was not meant as a compliment. I don't think Clay is roaring, but I think he has made an astoundingly impressive and varied use of his time and opportunities so far! Not gonna be delusionally pompous and say I know what Clay wants to do with his life - I just think he seems happily and busily making the most of every chance he gets. That's why I don't think he needs any of the personal management that some are advocating - seems like all the "plans" that I have read start from the faulty premise that someone knows exactly what Clay wants to do (or should want to do), and proceeds from there, and then when his actions don't coincide with the "plan", he is deemed to have "made a mistake" - all from a faulty starting premise! I guess it whiles away the time, though. I see he has kept proper nutrition in mind when using emoticons - all those veggies! I would like to add a song to the list we are making for the concert - Time of The Season - no chance in hell, but just thinking about Clay wailing and growling through that is, um, nice. I was watching a PBS fundraiser yesterday, they were showing clips of Broadway singers performing with the Boston Pops. One woman was introduced (the original Marion the librarian, evidently) and the person speaking said she was the consummate singer; she sings in service of the song, not herself. I am starting to appreciate that the singers on Broadway just really really love to SING - there are so many good singers, they don't need pro-tools, they just go out and sing well every night. Kristin Chenoweth performed a song from Candide and was amazing!

Sniff! No Florida rumors yet! A weekend in Texas sounds good.... Two tours! And am I bad to hope one is a Christmas tour? See, I guess I don't read the boards much because while I see questioning AI's motives, I don't see any determination to boycott anything. My impression is that people feel that the project is a real good one, but that A.I's feelings are a sham. Two seperate issues. I know it is for me......although if I contribute, I will just do that, I do not like to feel coerced into voting - and that is what this feels like to me. There is no one on the show that really interests me enough to pick up the phone for, and I am not gonna do that just to contribute money. And I still think Simon and Ryan are jerks, but that has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings about AI. Or even much about Clay. Besides, people just need to donate - wanting me, for instance, to say nice things about A.I., too, is just not gonna happen. I do hope they raise lots of money, but I dont have to give them a kiss! Hmmm, Diva, does your psychic need to see someone in person to give a hint about job prospects? I took my grandson to see 300 today - interesting movie, What'shisname is a nice big hunk - but very disconcerting to hear him sound just like Sean Connery. The villian, Xerxes, was certainly interesting - haven't seen so much makeup on a guy since I watched To Wong Foo. He was sort of like The Rock in drag.

I never got the impression that people were not going to contribute to the charity effort because of Simon - I just read a lot of opinions that this seems like cynical jumping on the bandwagon, is all. Being cynical about it does not affect the outcome in any way, shape, or form, IMO. I do see this as an individual decision, though, and not something that "Clay fans" need to contribute to as a group. And I guess I am in that group of people who don't hate A.I. so much as don't really give a rat's ass about it, and I have always found it bizarre when people in real life (and on the boards) insist that I must of course be watching and voting and caring deeply because I am a Clay fan. Yep, glad they found him - but the show is not on my must-see-TV list, at all - except for laughs. Which is the ONLY reason why I watched the first season. And the ONLY reason I started watching the second season. I have not voted since Clay, except for Scott Savol. The entire selection process seems flawed, what with hearing that good singers didn't make the cut because they were in the line where producers were picking bad audition folks. Heh - what will they do next year? It is almost like they know that having just the contestants is not interesting enough to get the viewers. I hesitate to bring this up, but I am still upset and disappointed that Bush did not mention Clay in the (Sad) State of the Union Speech. Just think how many ATDW's could have been sold. (Lurking hatahs, that is snark.)

playbiller, only a couple of those predictions were filed under "whines" - it was more a stream-of-consciousness list. zip code and ebay not whines. And I wish I had sent something too. No need to take offense. Bear in mind that this board is the only one where I read the main thread. But I will try and be more timely.

First, Bwahahaha! Now that I have had a good laugh, I will adjust my sparkly Turban For Seeing The Future (okay, it is an old towel sprayed with glitter) and take a few gulps of my stash of Future Diviner Whine, no, wait, Wine (that's what it says on the box, right above the cute little plastic spigot thingy) and I will predict the future as pertains to the news that Clay is signing things: - by the end of next week, Clay will need his own zip code, due to the volume of articles sent to him for signing - by the end of next week, the Clay Aiken articles for sale category on ebay will have sextupled. - "Why is Clay signing things for people when he should be recording a new rockin' CD?" - "If Clay has all the free time, why doesn't he blog?????" - "Shit! Why didn't I send him something to sign!" - Hmmmm....now he will have some addresses to go with some names! - Why is he just now doing this, when he could have hired someone to do it years ago?! There's more, but I don't have enough Diviner Wine to get through them! Really really really looking forward to the concerts - and quite frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn what he is gonna sing, I just love to watch him sing. Psssst! Has anyone noticed if any of the usual up-front peeps are eschewing the next concerts because they don't like Clay's music? If so, tres' cool, because maybe I can sit closer. If I am allowed.

ivy, the latest seems tooo convenient, and really just an excuse to get the boards to air the whole mess. Which is what they want. I am hoping people just ignore it. A lot of people won't believe it anyway, even if true, because (as we have seen) they have their own agenda.

Oh, yes, ma'am, we were good! Um, yeppers! Really well-behaved! You don't even need to go back and catch up! Really! "Exemplary" is pretty much the word for us! Except for that playbiller person. So sorry you had to cut the trip short, and even sorrier that your mom is not feeling well.

I just think Clay looks gorgeous, and so happy! I admit I am immoderately fond of the words "toofies" and "teefies", but I'll be darned if I know why! Hmmmm, I remember when I first got contact lenses, eleventy years ago, and ALL my relatives declared that I was Just Conceited, and who did I think I was, etc. People really do sometimes hate it when ya climb out of your box - and it looks like there are so many different boxes, even if some of the builders are in denial.

I beg yer pardon. I am only a fame-whore (or, as I like to say, Access-To-Clay Prostitute) if I am from another board. Now, I need to continue working on my latest invention - The Deely Bobber Search and Destroy Kit - it is really just a cheap pair of binoculars and a big stick, but if I tastefully bling 'em up (use the phrase "faux silver leaf" instead of "sprayed them suckers with shiny paint"), I can sell 'em on eBay and retire to Clay Fan Acres. I also volunteer to tell Clay to stop selling those tacky tshirts with his FACE on them, immediately! So the value of my stash will go up and I can sell those on eBay, too!

Well, CRAP! Another physical! - I already got a form letter saying that I needn't come in to take the desired fan demographic exam, because I have already flunked, and why waste time. Hey, here's an idea - why don't we design t-shirts like the ones that are screenprinted to make ya look like a babe in a bikini - only have a picture of a smart'n'sexy'n'savvy'n'sophisticated Officially Sanctioned Clay Fan body on there - and then Playbiller could use the money from her retirement scheme, uh, plan! to fund Lifestyle Lifts for the truly desirable-fan-format-deficient folks. They have EZ payment plans, too, so there is just NO EXCUSE for going to a concert and sitting near the stage, or, even worse, talking to Clay or a media-type person, looking like your decrepit old self. None. Heh - you delusional people who think you can get sekrit signals from Clay by inspecting his socks or scarves or degree of eye-sparkle-issitude (I heard it was one of Raleigh's wittle doggy hairs under his contact lens) - the real signals are sent by noting which fingers Clay wears his rings on. I know the code, but I can't tell y'all or I would have to kill y'all.

Weird, but I am mostly watching the Oscars tonight to see what Gore says, if anything.