annabear Posted August 4, 2008 Report Share Posted August 4, 2008 I hope she doesn't mind my posting this here, but I feel she could use all of the comforting energy we can manage to send her way... Our dear {{{Jazzgirl}}}'s mother passed away last Friday. The memorial service is being held today. Please keep her in your thoughts and, if so inclined, your prayers. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmh123 Posted August 4, 2008 Report Share Posted August 4, 2008 {{{Jazzgirl}}}. :F_05BL17blowkiss: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldyjocelyn Posted August 4, 2008 Report Share Posted August 4, 2008 {{{{{{JazzGirl}}}}}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couch Tomato Posted August 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 Jazzgirl, I'm so sorry about your loss. Your advice in this thread has been invaluable and I've always appreciated it. Take good care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playbiller Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 sorry Jazzgirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzgirl Posted August 22, 2008 Report Share Posted August 22, 2008 I appreciate you posting my news, annabear, and thank you all for the condolences :F_05BL17blowkiss: . Annabear and I have a connection in that my mom passed on her birthday. Tomorrow will be three weeks. I took a reasonably healthy 83 year old to the hospital in hopes of improving the quality of her life and came out with a dead body. The death certificate says she died of kidney failure. More accurately, she died of medical miscommunication, inattention, and a fragmented, uncoordinated system. Life is not valued in hospitals, especially the lives of elderly people who are labeled as "having co-morbidities". I practically lived at the hospital for the 16 days mom was there. It was and continues to be a living nightmare, only now the nightmare is the "life without you" part. A mother is truly irreplaceable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claytonic Posted August 22, 2008 Report Share Posted August 22, 2008 I appreciate you posting my news, annabear, and thank you all for the condolences :F_05BL17blowkiss: . Annabear and I have a connection in that my mom passed on her birthday. Tomorrow will be three weeks. I took a reasonably healthy 83 year old to the hospital in hopes of improving the quality of her life and came out with a dead body. The death certificate says she died of kidney failure. More accurately, she died of medical miscommunication, inattention, and a fragmented, uncoordinated system. Life is not valued in hospitals, especially the lives of elderly people who are labeled as "having co-morbidities". I practically lived at the hospital for the 16 days mom was there. It was and continues to be a living nightmare, only now the nightmare is the "life without you" part. A mother is truly irreplaceable. Jazzgirl, I am so sorry to hear of your devastating loss, how devastating indeed to take a loved-one to hospital without any serious condition and to lose them due to lack of competent care. If there is any comfort I can offer, it is to think about the large portion of the 83 years you had her for and all those wonderful memories to store in your heart. It doesn't bring her back or resolve anything the hospital did or didn't do but it's something no one can take away from you. Your mom now rests in peace. Thank you for sharing with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabear Posted August 22, 2008 Report Share Posted August 22, 2008 Jazzgirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmh123 Posted August 22, 2008 Report Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thinking of you and so sorry this happened, Jazzgirl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckiest1 Posted August 22, 2008 Report Share Posted August 22, 2008 {{{Jazzgirl}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmh123 Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 For couchie: Here's a handbook on taking care of people who have had strokes: http://www.strokesafe.org/Caregivers_Handbook_rev5.pdf, and the chapter that came up when I googled: home care after discharge. And here's a "family care navigator" from caregiver.org: http://caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/fcn_con...jsp?nodeid=2083. This will provide info about services in your area. Caregiver.org also has tons of info: FCA (Family Caregiver Alliance). Holy moly--they are based in San Francisco too!! And one more link. List of websites of several national organizations, each of which will have a link to find services in your area: How can I find someone to help care for my family member at home?. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couch Tomato Posted January 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'll put updates here so as not to keep posting on main. She had another stroke. Her last one was the brain bleed. And this is the more conventional stroke where there is a blockage. Her speech is definitely affected. I couldn't understard a word she was trying to say for the most part. The problem is because of the bleed they can't do any of the traditional treatments or it will affect the bleed. So basically she is just riding this thing out being monitored and they are trying to keep things under control. Who knows where she'll be on the other end of this thing. I called this morning and they said she's about the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckiest1 Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 {{{couchie}}} Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmh123 Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hanging in there with you, couchie. Being sick on top of this is hard. Try to sleep as much as you can, OK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claytonic Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Couchie, so sorry you are going through this. I agree that you should try to get as much sleep as possible, although that is hard to do when you are worried and stressed. Sending you and your mom lots of white healing light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldyjocelyn Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 Geez, I guess "read new posts" should work for an admin around here... {{{{{couchie and Mom}}}} I hope everything works out for the best. And get some sleep if you can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ausdon Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 {{{ Couchie and Couchiemum }}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couch Tomato Posted January 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 well a complete turnaround since yesterday. They called me at 9am to get down there to calm her down. They had her in restraints. She wanted to go home. She was so confused all day..she knew me but not really where she was. We couldn't have any meaningful conversation and mostly I spent the day trying to keep her from trying to remove her ivs and other hookups or get out of the bed. She had difficulty responding to certain things like the date..it's june 2002 to her. Her birth year beame 1956 etc. She kept asking for somebody named Joshua..and I can't think of a Joshua in our lives. And at one point she said she was at Miss Pearlie's house..definitely somebody from her youth in South Carolina. Muski... the ativan that always worked for her in the past may be causing this now...and they gave her some other sedative so they could do the MRI and she seemed even more confused after that. The weirdest thing is that the mirror that is opposite her bed..well she didn't recognize herself in it.thought it was another person so I had to keep the curtain drawn so she couldn't see herself. Anyway, it was a tough day...I hope this is temporary. For all her issues my mom has never been incoherent. Finally when she went into a fitful sleep I had to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckiest1 Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 {{{couchie}}}, glad you checked in. Sounds like one hell of a day. I hope things are looking better tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabear Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 Oh, {{{Couchie}}}}, what a day. I'm sorry. Here's to hoping things take a turn for the better over the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldyjocelyn Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 {{{{{{couchie}}}}} If you need anything, just holler, OK? How about some cough medicine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couch Tomato Posted January 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 So apparantly my mom is going through withdrawals of the ativan. She's still confused today but a bit better than yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow she is better still. Can I officially be a member of eHP cuz my mom thinks she's in Houston. Don't know why she pulled Houston out of the air - she has been there -- once. She also thought she was in church at one point yesterday and when the doctor asked her where she was she said in the presence of god. And then apparantly this morning she thought she was at home...and she's now totally mad at me because I didn't come when she called this morning. Anyway we'll see what tomorrow brings. I just want her to be in her right mind before the inauguration. This was SO important to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmh123 Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 So apparantly my mom is going through withdrawals of the ativan. She's still confused today but a bit better than yesterday. Hopefully tomorrow she is better still. Can I officially be a member of eHP cuz my mom thinks she's in Houston. Don't know why she pulled Houston out of the air - she has been there -- once. She also thought she was in church at one point yesterday and when the doctor asked her where she was she said in the presence of god. And then apparantly this morning she thought she was at home...and she's now totally mad at me because I didn't come when she called this morning. Anyway we'll see what tomorrow brings. I just want her to be in her right mind before the inauguration. This was SO important to her. Make sure it is on the television in her room. My mother is watching it non-stop, and there are few things in the world of now that interest her whatsoever. I think your mom will be able to know what's going on. I am glad she's better today--at least she's not freaking out. BTW, I regaled my mom with tales of what you and your mom have been going through, and she said to me, very solemnly, "You (me that is) are so lucky." And of course, in a way, she is right. (And she even took a bath today. I read some advice, "Tell, don't ask." No big drama, just, "This is what's going to happen now." There was a bunch of good stuff in this booklet where I read that; I'll have to look at that again. I remember one was don't correct or criticize, because it will not reach her cognitively and only makes her feel bad.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muskifest Posted January 19, 2009 Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 jmh....if you find out the name of whatever it was you were reading, please let me know! The people at Mom's residence home and I are still having 'issues' getting her to take showers. When the staff goes to "tell" her it's time for her shower, she starts cussing and yelling at them, evidently. She told ME that she got pissed because the staff person interrupted her in the main room downstairs while she was having a conversation with someone and then loudly enough for everyone there to hear said, "C'mon Hazel. I'm going to help you with your shower." I talked with the staff coordinator and told her that the staff should be sensitive to and respectful of the residents' in the way they talk with them and that my mother still has dignity and doesn't appreciate being humiliated. The coordinator apologized for her staff member and we talked in general. Basically, though, Mom usually either refuses or insists that she 'just took one', etc. Couchie, so glad getting the Ativan stopped seems to be helping your mom. It certainly did when my mom went bizarre on us after her surgery and at another time her mental abilities drastically and precipitously declined---both times Ativan was involved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claylove Posted January 19, 2009 Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 So, I have been wanting to post about something but I didn't want to clog up the main thread and now I think this is the place I should post it. Couchie and a couple others know about this but not many. I currently live in Raleigh but I am not "from" here. I am from Northern California and moved here in early 2006. I moved cause I have many friends here and after several visits really liked it. I was at the point in life where I needed a change of scenery and heck lets be honest I was hoping that I could go to more concerts, etc. if I was on the East Coast. Its been a great three years but I am moving back to Sacramento, CA where my family lives. My family, my Dad in particular, is a large reason for my decision to move back. He had a severe heart attack in 2007 which was followed by a Quintuple Bypass (that's five) and also suffers from Type II Diabetes. 2008 was a rough year for him, health wise. Early in the year he tripped, fell and injured his knee, resulting in surgery and being out of work for several months on disability. He has also had problems with his diabetes, which he continues to battle. Mid year he began having pain in his shoulder and ended up with a torn rotator cuff which also required surgery and he was out of work for another couple of months for that. Toward the end of 2008 he finally got medical clearance to go back to work and upon his return he learned that he was being laid off and sent into early retirement. That was pretty rough for him to hear and then just prior to Christmas, he slipped on a step that leads to their livingroom and fell and broke his tibia bone in his leg (same leg as the knee problem). The fracture is a vertical stress fracture and he had to have surgery for five pins and a plate to hold it together while he heals. He cannot put any pressure on his leg for three months and is utilizing a wheel chair and walker. He is currently not very mobile and cannot sit up for very long without extreme pain. In the midst of my Dad's health issues, my Mom was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis last year. She is under treatment but is also dealing with a fair amount of pain and discomfort herself. So far she is still working part-time but I don't know how long she will be able to continue doing that. She is a strong lady but I can see taking care of my Dad plus her own conditions are wearing on her. They are also the primary caretakers of my brother Rob, who is a young adult with developmental disabilities and taking care of him is becoming a lot for them to handle alone. I know this is not as severe as what some of you are dealing with as far as caretaking of your parents. But man, its so difficult to see your parents having troubles due to aging and be too far away to do anything to help them. So as much as I have enjoyed being in Raleigh, I feel a great need to be in California right now. I have wonderful parents who have always been there for me whenever I needed them including supporting me when I wanted to move to the opposite coast. Never did they try to talk me out of it even though I know it was hard for them. Instead they supported me completely and now I feel in my heart that I want to give the same back to them. I also miss my family if I am honest about it. That is why I am moving back to California. I will be staying at my parents home to help out with day-to-day things as well as helping with my brother Rob. I do not know at this point if it will be short-term or long-term. We are just going to take it one day at a time. It depends on what they need and how things go. All I know is, I want to be there to help them even if its as simple as going to the grocery store and making dinner. This has been in the works for a couple of months and at first I was so torn about it and I know its strange but now I really feel at peace about it. I think I am ready for a change again. I plan to still do what I always have as far as spending vacations at concerts, shows and the like and getting together with friends. But my Mom told me that even though my Dad has been fighting some depression over his loss of mobility (and hense loss of ability to take care of his family in his stereotypical guy way) he lights up when he talks about me coming home. She said she hasn't seen him this happy in a long time. He says "my girl is finally coming home." Somehow that just warms my heart and tells me I am doing the right thing. Sooooooooooo..... I am moving in three weeks. My mom is flying out here and we are going to drive my car and two cats back to California. The movers will be bringing the rest of my stuff. Needless to say, I have tons to do!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.