#20: Clay is just so frickin' cute! Cute, cute, cute!

[aikim]

Good Morning Everyone,

CG I agree with you about the commercialism of Christmas and I can understand hating that part of it...and like some said, I think what Clay tries to do with his Holiday shows is remind us the true meaning of Christmas and encourage us to embrace that meaning not just at the Holiday Season but all year round. As far as Religion and God, I believe there are many many religions, but only one God which is why I never understood the furor over YWT...Clay was singing a song of praise to God...and I think the sentiment of the song was much more important the whatever Religious aspect some wanted to assign to it.

12 Days until The Christmas Tour Starts!

38 Days until Christmas in Merrillville!

41 Days until The Skating Special Airs!

54 Days until The BAF Golf Outing!

65 Days until Clay is on Broadway!

Everyone have a great day!

Kim

[luckiest1]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I'd be in for re-reading LTS and discussing. I haven't read it since I got it. I read it once through and listened to the audio once through. It's high time I read it again!

[FromClaygary]

Clay's Christmases feel authentic to me. The real deal. I know he wrote about some of his Christmases in LTS -- like the space shuttle model he got two years in a row, and the Walmart phone in the beaten up box, or the VCR he had to save up and buy for himself -- but it's pretty clear to me that Christmas wasn't as much about the stuff for him as it was about the spirit of the Holidays. Being with family and friends, some of whom you only see at Christmas time, and sitting at Grandma's table for a feast, lots of laughter in the house and in the yard, the aunts' gossip clatch at the table, the one certain of the kids always wanted to eavesdrop on, and the tears of the children (who always get out of sorts after they've been indulged), parents singing "you better watch out" to their kids those days before Christmas -- my Christmas memories are lined with that background. Whatever Clay's is, he keeps it alive with the Joyful Noise concerts.

Anyway, I've never thought of Clay was a religious fanatic, just a kid raised in a community Baptist church in the South, where the church is a social and cultural focus as much or more so than a religious sanctuary. Now if I could tell you about some of the deacon's sons I knew! I think it's fairly obvious that Clay is a progressive where the dogma of the church is concerned. He said so in the book. Christmas is the singing season, the giving season, the caring season -- it's CLAY! I love that he spreads it around.

After having spent 40 years in retail...believe me, I've seen it all when it comes to Christmas commercialization. For at least 25 of those years I was not able to celebrate Christmas with my family, who were European and therefore celebrated Christmas Eve...while I was at a store somewhere stacking up Tshirts or saucepans for Boxing Day (day after Christmas, for you Americans...it's our version of day-after-Thanksgiving) sales.

Clay has actually given new meaning to Christmas for me~his expressions of hope and faith in mankind, that simply happen to happen around Christmas have me now looking forward to it for the first time in my life.

Most of my best Christmases ever have been spent in little churches in NC with friends~and in that "friends" group I count the people in those churches that I've met for the first time that day. It's been absolutely magical, and I'll miss it this year like nobody's business.

Yet he had to know many were offended by YWT and he continued to do it anyway, so I am not sure Clay always means what he says.

I never understood why people were offended. What difference did it make? I always felt he sang if for himself and it was important for him. I loved that song and downloaded it after every show and like I said I'm not religious at all. He was just so passionate while singing it.

Me too; one of my absolute favorites of his for that very reason. He exposed his soul to us in the singing of that song.

It may not be for everyone, but I do believe Clay is trying to capture its original spirit.

...and I think he's doing a wonderful job!

I sure hope the boards in general don't dissolve into a mess of people ranting about how "stupid" the stories are. The crap that was flung in Clay's direction during the JNT05 almost drove me off the boards. If people don't like the stories or the vignettes, fine. But what's the point in making a big deal of it? And this time, we'll have the feelings of the writers of the stories to consider. No one is going to change Clay's mind, he's stubborn. He obviously loves the idea and is putting a lot of time and effort into it. So I figure give him the benefit of the doubt. I love that he is showing us that much of himself.

Completely agree! I have sent in a story, and been asked to read another if it is chosen. Chances are neither will happen...but if one or both does, I hope I don't have to crawl in the woodwork afterwards.

I also think the reason Clay has not received MORE submissions is because of that very fear...it's already being taken out on many who have submitted stories, every day, on every board. I don't get it.

And this time, we'll have the feelings of the writers of the stories to consider.

And that's the crux of this whole deal for me: Are the storytellers going to see themselves and their stories (heartfelt or sappy or blatantly manufactured or whatever) eviscerated on the boards? It seems to be heading in that direction already in some quarters and I find that to be very troubling.

Me too.

[aikim]

I would also be interested in reading LTS and having a discussion.

Kim

[ToldForThis]

Yeah I know Christmas can be sucky for some people...and I know it is pretty much commercialized...but as they say don;t throw the baby with the bath water...There is still a lot of good that comes from it. It may not be for everyone, but I do believe Clay is trying to capture its original spirit.

Bingo!!!...... that is what I believe and more power to him!!!

[ldyjocelyn]

Which brings me to my sappy entry. Yes, I did do a sappy entry, after I got over my pique earlier this evening, I started writing abvout one thing and it sort of became another. Anyone want to read it? It probably sucks in construction and focus, but I did spell check it several times. It is called Wigilia.

I'm in too -- would love to see what you've said....

CG, does it surprise you that, as a Christian, I can totally understand and relate to your hating the commericalization of Christmas? Like KF, I feel the holiday season should be reserved for the few days leading up to Christmas, and I try to do that as much as possible. (BTW, did you realize that the "12 Days of Christmas" actually STARTS on Christmas day? Before that time in the Christian calendar, it's Advent -- an anticipation of things to come.) Am I successful with this? Unfortunately, no. It's incredibly hard NOT to get caught up, especially when you're bombarded with it constantly.

But I think for me -- well, Ansa said it pretty darn good....

Yeah I know Christmas can be sucky for some people...and I know it is pretty much commercialized...but as they say don;t throw the baby with the bath water...There is still a lot of good that comes from it. It may not be for everyone, but I do believe Clay is trying to capture its original spirit.

I'm one with rose colored glasses that believes there CAN be an emotional heart to Christmas, and I want to hope that people will try to find it. Even if you don't believe, there's a LOT of good that can come out of the spirit of the season, you just need to know where to look for it. I think Clay is trying to help people realize it too.

Vinagrettes

BWAH!!! And I missed you YSRN!

Anyway, having said all that I have absolutely no clue how it feels to be a non christian at Xmas time. I certainly don't think Claygasm that you hate Christians. That never entered my mind. So your experiences and feelings are uniquely yours. I may never fully understand but it doesn't matter. I don't have to.

That's the way I feel too....

Now, something I do believe in? Clay! And I may not like everything he does but I will always give him the benefit of every doubt because he is really good about putting on a show. He's good about changing what's not working. And he always surprises me. I also like that he is exploring his artistic side and anything he is excited about I want to check out. Even if he doesn't hit it out of the ballpark I commend him for being creativ and trying new things. And as much as I have a love/hate relationship with Clay nation- I suspect and expect that I won't die of boredom cuz they get a few minutes of show time. I haven't been bored by the stories I've read here and I think there will be more where those came from from the rest of clay nation.

I totally agree with this whole thing. He TRIES. And I love that about it, even if I might dislike the whole concept later.

I had a thought regarding the stories -- I think maybe some feel about these stories that Clay's trying the way some feel about the "planned spontaneous" moments during concerts. For some, trying to recreate magic in that way feels totally forced; for others, it's the spirit of the thing, even if the whole thing falls apart. I guess I've never cared much either way, and that's why I'm going to wait and see regarding the stories.

Clay has actually given new meaning to Christmas for me~his expressions of hope and faith in mankind, that simply happen to happen around Christmas have me now looking forward to it for the first time in my life.

Most of my best Christmases ever have been spent in little churches in NC with friends~and in that "friends" group I count the people in those churches that I've met for the first time that day. It's been absolutely magical, and I'll miss it this year like nobody's business.

{{{FromClaygary}}}}}}

And this time, we'll have the feelings of the writers of the stories to consider.

And that's the crux of this whole deal for me: Are the storytellers going to see themselves and their stories (heartfelt or sappy or blatantly manufactured or whatever) eviscerated on the boards? It seems to be heading in that direction already in some quarters and I find that to be very troubling.

Me too.

Man, that makes me sad.

I honestly think there will be some stories that will touch my heart, or make me laugh, or get me into the spirit of Christmas. There will be some stories that make me simply roll my eyes. But I will not disparage someone who has opened their hearts in this way -- even if it could be simply for a famewhore moment. Why? Because I really don't KNOW these people who are writing the stories. Sure, I "know" many of you on this board, and I can probably predict motivations for why you wrote your stories. But do I know for certain? Nope. Therefore, I try not to judge any fan in that way. One of the things I've learned in the past five years.

I've reread LTS more than a few times, but not in about a year or so. I'm in!

[muskifest]

luckiest, just to clarify....

I know I'll hear all about the STUPID stories just like I heard about the STUPID vignettes.

I capitalized the word "stupid" in my post in an effort to poke fun at the tendency of fans to generalize and jump to criticize, NOT to suggest that the stories and vignettes ARE stupid.

Actually, in some cases I thought the vignettes did NOT work, and I'm willing to bet I won't be enthralled by all of the upcoming stories. But like Couchie, I'm tickled at Clay's desire to try new things, find new ways to be creative and I'm at the titanium balls of the man! He's gonna do what he's gonna do and critics (among the media or his fans) be danged! After all, it's HIS name on the ticket, right?

When you get right down to it, the whole concept of a "Christmas" concert goes against a bunch of people's beliefs IF you view the holiday totally in its religious premise. So if everyone who does NOT buy into the concept of Jesus as presented in the New Testament stayed away because most of the religious songs specifically glorify that concept, the audiences would be quite different from what Clay audiences are, don't you agree? At last perusal, I believe I saw Jews representin' in large numbers in Clay's fandom and since I also know that Clay's got quite a following in Japan and other Pacific Rim areas, I'd venture to guess that there are quite a few non-Christians there as well.

I have no fear that Clay is trying to prosyletize in his concerts; I do think he has no intention of 'watering down' his own strong faith and beliefs in the reason for the season as he sees it when he plans these holiday concerts. I go to his Christmas concerts knowing what I'll find and to bask in the beauty---if not completely the meaning that he embraces. His uniquely moving voice and the absolute joy he exudes on that stage singing about HIS God---THAT is what draws me back each holiday season.

Well....that and the chance that he might do that 'giddy-up' thang again...or wear one of those HAWT long coats....or decide to take off that coat and let us see the beauty that is good tailoring...or have a new hairdo to bitch and/or drool over....heh.

[KAndre]

I'm up for re-reading LTS.

Adds YSRN to the "eyes suspiciously" list for including EL on her "not good" list.

Adds that Couchie's experience could be mine except my grandfather was the senior deacon in the AME church, my mother and aunts were in a gospel group, some went Baptist, some went UMC, some stayed AME - the main thing I've learned is that there are as many different religious experiences as there are people, good, bad and indifferent. And most people approach most experiences with pre-set expectations and those will tend to color how you perceive them. And will occasionally color how other people perceive them as well.

{{{soulsista4clay}}} Feel ya, chick.

And I have to with ldyj's perspective, especially about EL. Oh, and the story thingie too.

For me, Christmas is what it is - a combination of the secular and the sanctified, especially here in the US (and Canada, perhaps). Commercialization? You gotta admit, we're GOOD at it - and it's something that apparently speaks to a huge segment of the population. Clay's has always struck me as a sentimental type dude. All I have to do is look as ACAC (which I refuse to do ever again, even for Clay). A great big sugary sweet bunch of sentiment and that works for him. But I also tend to think he understands that it (and a lot of stuff he does) doesn't work for everybody. It's unavoidable. And he seems to be cool with that too.

[merryclay]

I enjoyes reading all the different posts about the stories. I agree with so many of them, there's no need to quote. Clay Aiken is a good man trying to do the best he can. Tha's good enough for me.

[playbiller]

Commercialization of Christmas

Since I kind of view TV as background noise and rarely sit and just watch it anymore, I don't get my commercialization from there. I listen to NPR and stations like that so there is not too much commercialization on the radio for me. I have "mall"phobia, so I miss it there, and I have no young children, so I don't get the gimme gimmee stuff there. I do buy gifts for some people, One of my friends has said out right she does not want any gift from me, even when I attend her New Years Day party, maybe just a bottle of wine, just too much stuff. I generally give the kids Hess Trucks or checks to their parents or books, so I don't go to toy stores. I decorate my own house and have never heard of professional decorators (where is the fun in that?), I do ride around looking for the winner of the Martha Stewart House award (not so much the goofiest or most decorated house). I do give baked good presents to neighbors and friends, like no one has to lose weight during the holidays!

To me Christmas is more about memories or connecting to friends. I send out cards and receive them, somtimes it is the only thing that reminds me to keep in touch with people I know taht have moved across the country and it tends to make for a buisier January when people call and say they are gladto know I am still alive. I do write a newletter, but it usually consists of dog stories or other silly things and sometimes a few sad events, just a quick mention of the major things like when I bought the trailer. Always have a dog and Christmas tree picture each year now. Heh, how long do you think Holly will leave her antlers on? I may need help gettting that picture! When it comes to buying a tree, I usually get a flawed one, must be a flaw in me, but I have learned how to fill in and "fix" it so trees look good - I need to take before and after pictures sometime - my tree makeover! Decorating a tree takes forever and I hang or remove each ornament, I remember the time when I bought it or where I bought it or who gave it to me and the feelings rush back - like the "to my teacher" ornament my mother gave to me once because she liked the picture and she said I was always showing people how to do stuff, so I was a teacher. We kidded her so much about it and now all the memories of the night she gave it to me rush back as I hold that ornament. Or the "Daisy" ornament my neighbors gave me because as much as they heard me call my dogs name, they could never remember her name was Sadie, but then in their complete sheltered WASPishness, they had never heard that name Sadie before, cracks me up to think of it, they were so sweet.

I am a sentimental fool when it comes to Christmas and I have a heart full of useless memories that trigger strong emotions. And that leads me into showing you the story I submitted.

Wigilia!

I come from a Polish-American family filled with good Catholics, which is how I come by my 75 first cousins. My Mother’s family was called The Sisters, with 8 sisters and 1 brother and my Father’s family was called The Brothers, with 5 brothers and 1 sister. When I was small, we spent Christmas Eve with my Mother’s family and Christmas with my Fathers and mostly at home. Christmas Eve is the biggest part of the holiday, called Wigilia (See http://www.polishamericancenter.org/Wigilia.htm for more information). It is about family and tradition.

When we arrived at my Mother’s parent’s house, each of us would be given an Oplatek, or a sheet of communion wafer that had religious pictures stamped into it. First, we kids would compare the pictures like kids with trading cards and then we would break off tiny pieces and share it with our cousins and aunts and uncles. We would kiss and forgive transgressions and wish each other a happy and healthy year. Since there were so many of us in the one bedroom apartment that my grandparents lived in, the kids would have to play outside no matter how cold the weather until dark. The men would eat first and then retire to the living room. Then the children would be called in to eat and then play inside or visit with the uncles. Finally, the women would eat and they would own the kitchen for the rest of the night, laughing and talking while the kids ran through the rooms. Needless to say, this all took quite a long time and we still had to get the ferry to get home (they had not built quite as many bridges then) and drive for an hour to get home.

The Christmas when I was 6, we got home so very late, my parents didn’t even have to tell us to go to bed, but apparently it was just a little too much for my father. He stopped us before we climbed the stairs to bed and said there was a surprise for us down stairs. You see it was after midnight and Santa had come and forgotten to wrap our gifts! Looking back on this night, why do I think this had a lot more to do with my parents getting a little more sleep in the morning?

Today, when I look back at those early days, I remember the love and the warmth of our family, the importance of traditions and beliefs. I started holding the Wigilia for my family and in-laws when my mother-in-law became ill with cancer and could no longer host the dinner. It was a lot of work, but I learned more and more about the traditions and rekindled much of the warmth in my own heart. As my smaller family aged, I invited more and more friends who enjoyed learning the traditions, even though some were Jewish or Buddhist, and then added a cousin I used to play with at the grandparent’s, whose own children did not know anything about Wigilia, sort of closing the circle. It is really all about love.

Now Fear wiill remember differently, for some reason two people living in close proximity remember things totally different! Anyway the above was my santa forgot to wrap gifts gone awry because it got too long. I hope this is less than 1500 words. I guess I should count it.

ETA - ACK, how many grammer errors have I cought now, darn that spell check, it put in errors!

[Cotton]

I'm so far behind, y'all! I have actually not been online very much this week. I didn't even know about the latest blog till I got an email from a friend!

Playbiller - did you post your story? Did I miss it?

More importatnly . . .

Are you wrapped in bubble wrap, yet??!!!

Hey, Couchie, I'm a backslider, too! My Daddy was the son of a preacher. Daddy was always the choir director and Sis and I were expected to be in all the choirs. We were in the MYF. (Methodist Youth Fellowship)

College broke the routine. And I'm not good at routine - unless it's kind of imposed - by family or work, etc. Hence, I'm in the funerals and weddings church attendance group. I miss the music, though. I love hymns and anthems. Dearly. I give almost anything to hear Daddy sing 'How Great Thou Art' or Tenor solo (You People Will Be My People?) from Handal's Messiah again.

But, I'm not a fan of organized religion. Too many people hide behind the proselytizing without really knowing what LOVE is. Too many people are put in boxes, categorized by the circumstances or their outward appearance.

One of the best things a minister ever said to me - and I know many Christians would vehemently disagree - was at a Wednesday morning prayer breakfast I went to with Mama once after I was married and moved away from home.

He said, "Religion is like a grocery store. You don't have to put everything in your cart. You take what's good for you, what you need, the things that help you."

I kinda like that.

Okay - I have a Holiday Story. It's not Christmas and it's way too long for any CITH purposes. Besides, I still have not show on my horizon, either, so I won't be sending it to Clay (today's the deadline, right?), but I thought I'd post it. Just scroll on by. It is one of the funniest things that ever happened in our marriage. I'll post it in the next post.

I just found this in unpacking a box. I retyped it so I'd have it on the computer memory. I wrote this when I had my first Apple computer and had it on file at one time. I was thrilled to find this hard copy this week so it isn't lost. It's great family history! I hope my son will read it every now and then after we're gone!

[playbiller]

My story is posted above your post, Cotton, now where is your story?

[Guest Toots]

YWT sheiladownunder, I'm right there with you! I also like the version sung by Avalon but the passion in Clay's voice when he sings it and the arms waving around I also think he shows the strong voice I love and maybe that's the whole thing...he sings with abandon and really lets it all out. and : BTW I feel the same way about Mary Did You Know but only his version and it's the one of his recorded voice that I like. Couldn't tell you a thing about the lyrics to either song because for me it's the lovely music and the voice.

I came from a broken but happy family, lived in a very, very small town and attended church as a child and I was baptized and confirmed. I liked the music and loved to sing along but other than that don't remember being stirred by any of the religious aspects of church. I think my family believed in a god but didn't appreciate organized religion. When I come upon Christmas it doesn't particularly affect me one way or another but since it's supposed to be a time of giving, I give a substantial amount to charitable places, in my families name, that I trust to do some good for the world. I give them all a beautiful card, telling them what they got for Christmas and what charity they gave to. Most people, if not all who are aware of my Christmas tradition, ask me how that goes over with my family and aren't they upset with me that I didn't get them presents. No, they appreciate and respect what they've been given and they thank me for it. Some members of my family spend the holiday helping people who need the most help. You can argue religion or non-religion but the most important thing we have to give is ourselves, each in our own way. My way happens to have nothing to do with religion, just my caring about my fellow man and religion had nothing to do with that feeling.

I understand why CG gets upset over Christmas and the gross commercialization it's come to personify. That's exactly why I give my family a gift to charity at that time of year. If I want to give them something during the year then I do...but it isn't going to come for Christmas.

[Cotton]

My story is posted above your post, Cotton, now where is your story?

Awww! You posted while I was posting! It's wonderful. I love it! I think Clay will love it!

Here's mine - warning - it's LONG! It's not nearly so long when I tel lit - but I made this our Christmas Card in 1999, so I tried to remember every detail. (I didn't submit it.)

Hubby and Cotton’s Thanksgiving Adventure 1999

(This is much better told aloud.)

As the 1999 holidays approached, we decided that it had been too long since we had been to visit Hubby’s sister and brother-in-law, SIL and BIL in Maine. My dear, sweet, crazy husband figured that 4 days was plenty of time to make it a ROAD TRIP rather than flying! Besides, then he could take the doggies!

I told him we should plan to stop and get some sleep - even though he’d planned a “bed” in the back of the van. And I wanted us to leave Maine early enough to have some time to wind down before returning to work on Monday. He’d suggested leaving SIL’s on Sunday! I’m getting too old for whilrwind trips!

So while I was at school Wednesday, Hubby took the seats out of the back of the van and made a sleeping pallet, loaded up the luggage and doggie beds in preparation for the 17 hour drive time! My principal let me leave a bit early so we left Greensboro around 1pm, heading North.

I read most of the way up. I tried to get some sleep, but the pallet was kind of thin and all the vibration merely served to signal the need for another pit stop! We made several rest stops, let the dogs out (all three; Nu Nu, Lao and Daddy’s Penny), stopped for dinner at a little home-cooking-from-a-can type place attached to a Holiday Inn where we found the hostess was also a “Cotton”!

Somewhere in Connecticut, I said ‘It’s time to get some real sleep. Let’s find a hotel." So, at 2:30 am, we found a divey little inn, settled the doggies in the back of the van, stumbled up the stairs and fell into bed. I woke at my usual 5:30, got up, showered, dressed and went down to check on the doggies. When I came back up, Hubby mumbled something about $55 for 3 hours sleep, but he got up, got ready and we hit the road again.

We found a nice diner in Massachusetts and stopped for breakfast. The waitress was unbelievable friendly and smiling and pleasant for someone having to work on Thanksgiving morning. There was a table next to us that I found interesting. There appeared to be two fathers and 5 children from 3-7 years. The 1st graders were reciting their math facts and the group was full of chatter and laughter. I wondered if this might be a tradition - the fathers taking the children out for breafast so the mothers could focus on getting the dinner underway.

We arrived at SIL and BIL’s by 11:40 am, sooner than anticipated since I’d been able leave school early. We had a nice afternoon of ‘grazing’ then Thanksgiving dinner with SIL, BIL and friends of theirs, Karen and Paul. The dinner (free range turkey) was delicious and the conversation most pleasant.

I couldn’t believe I was having Thanksgiving dinner without having cooked a single thing! Friday morning at a leisurely pace, we got up and headed into Portland. We visited Portland’s fabulous farmers’ market, a combination food, flowers, craft market and food court. It was fun walking around people-watching as well as looking at the aray of products. I had crab cakes for lunch (scrumptious) at one of the seafood markets. We did some shopping, went to Portland’s LLBean store and ended the day by dining in view of the Square Tree-Lighting, complete with a brass quartet playing Christmas music. I had the best lobster I have ever eaten, hands down!

Saturday morning we headed to Freeport for a quick shopping run at J. Crew, and LLBean’s Outlet and Main stores. I did actually find a few things for DS. I also bought a nice warm red fleece pullover for myself.

At 2pm we were all loaded back into the van and headed back South. As on the trip up, Hubby did almost all the driving. (I drove about 2 hours on the trip up.) On the return trip, Hubby asked me to take over for him to get a few winks sometime after midnight. I drove about two hours and got us just inside Virginia when my eyes began to close. We stopped and Hubby took the wheel again. I crawled back in the back, and, for the first time, actually fell asleep. I remember waking up with Hubby opening the side door of the van. He says I asked where we were. I don’t remember that, but I remember him saying we were at a rest stop and closing the door.

I sat up and shook myself awake, pulled on my shoes and my new red fllece pullover and got out to go to the bathroom. I was still half asleep in spite of the cold. I came out of the bathroom and headed back to the van.

Only - I couldn’t find it. I went back to the bathroom, thinking maybe I had come out of one of those places where there’s a North and South entrance. I tried again, but began to realize that Hubby was well and truly gone! He, thinking I’m still asleep in the back of the van, has taken off down the road leaving me behind at Rest Stop 323 South near Staunton, Virginia!

Now this rest stop is just that; a rest stop. It’s not a welcome center. It’s not an information center. It’s a men’s and women’s bathroom and that’s IT!

I’m by myself. I have NO glasses. I have NO pocketbook. I have NO socks. It’s 2:30 in the morning. And my dear, sweet, insane husband is tooling down the road without me.

A man who looks like he might be from the hills of North Carolina or West Virginia comes out of the bathroom. He says to me, “Are y’all driving all night ‘cause the traffic’s gone be so bad on Sunday, like us?” I’m still groggy and I’m alone and wary so I mumble something aobut a long trip and walk off like I have somewhere to go! In a bit I see a woman join him, so I feel safe to approach and ask if they have a cell phone. They don’t. It turns out that they are brother and sister, Jan and Roger, and they are in the process of moving from West Virginia to Pennsylvania.

I tell them my situation. Roger says, “Forgive me, but when this is over and you’re safe, I’m gonna laugh.” I tell him to go ahead and laugh, I’m laughing myself. I can’t blieve it. Jan suggests I call the state troopers.

I tell her I don’t have my glasses so she reads the big sign and helps me dial. I explain my situation to the dispatcher and she tells me they will send a trooper and asks if I have anyone there with me. I tell her about Roger and Jan and she suggests I call her back in 10 minutes. (They can’t call back to pay phones these days.) She gets a description of the van (I can’t remember the tag number and they can’t run tags at 3:00 o’clock in the morning! She says she’ll give the description to the divisions to the South.

Roger says, “We can’t leave you, bad things happen at rest stops!” and he and Jan invite me into their truck, a hauling truck for Jan and her husband’s antique business. We sit in the truck with the heater on. I meet their traveling companions; two cats, one of them three-legged! I hear their animal stories. Roger watches the rear view mirror for signs of a white van or trooper vehicle. I call back as instucted in 10 minutes. The dispatcher tells me there is a trooper on the way, but the there is JUST ONE trooper patroling the entire county!

It takes 45 minutes for the trooper to arrive! Roger and Jan leave me in the safe care of Virignia State Trooper, Bob Henderson. I sit in the trooper’s car, people walking by occasionally looking in. (Wonder what they were thinking???!!!)

Tropper Bob tells me that he has 1100 square miles to patrol every night! His radio squawks and he gets a call to go work a wreck, so he find the Rest Stop 232 South custodian, another “Roger”! No joke. Trooper Bob tells me he gave the custodian’s telephone number to the other divisions so that if my husband stops and calls the state police, they’ll call the rest stop and he’ll meet him half way. I tell him, “I know Hubby. When he realizes I’m not there, he won’t call. He’ll just turn around and drive back this way.” (That’d be too much like asking for directions, wouldn’t it?)

I spend the remainder of this lovely adventure with Roger the Custodian. He gives me a “Dr. Thunder” from his lunch box (Dr. Pepper in disguise) and chats about him and his wife moving to Staunton from Texas. Roger the Custodian is a smoker, so I spend the morning standing in front of the open window breathing the fresh feezing air and shivering.

I had my sense of humor about me the first hour. I still could chuckle in the second hour. But by hour three, my sense of humor was wearing thin, wondering how it could be taking my sweet oblivious husband over an hour to realized he was missing something!

Finally, around 5:30 am, after 3 hours becoming way too familiar with Rest Stop 232 South, I saw the van pull in. Hubby didn’t say a word, just came to me with open arms and wrapped me up in a big old hug.

Wait - it gets better . . .!

Hubby’s side of the story . . .

After taking over the wheel, Hubby’s eyes start to close again. Not wanting to wake Cotton, who’s finally asleep, he stops to splash his face with cold water and drives on. Down the road a bit, he stops for another face splash. Reaching Roanoke, he stops for gas, gets back in the van and drives to a spot to let the dogs out. Out walking the dogs, the light bulb finally comes on and he says, “Oh, _ _ _ _! She wasn’t in the back of the car! Unless she’s under the covers!?!”

He goes back to the car, flips back the covers, knowing that bed is way too thin, and, sure enough, No Cotton!

“Where is she? When was the last time I talked to her? Maybe she got out at the gas station . . .”

He gets the dogs back in the car and takes off at 80 miles an hour, hoping he’ll get pulled! He doesn’t stop and call the state police. Of course, I’m not at the gas station bathroom. He heads on up the road to the next rest stop. Each time he has to double back to the South-bound side of the highway.

Finally, at Rest Stop 232 South near Staunton, Virginia, there I am standing in the window in my red fleece LLBean pullover!

After 22 years of marriage, he should have known that if I got within 32 feet of a rest stop, I was going to go to the bathroom!

Moral of the story:

Before you drive off, ALWAYS TAKE INVENTORY!! Count the dogs. Count the children. Count the wives. Make sure all are present and accounted for!

The best thing about this is . . .

no matter how much I screw up - I believe I have a permanent Get Out of Jail Free Card!

[bottlecap]

Cotton:

I must have the most boring, whitebread family on the face of the earth, because I can't for the life of me come up with any colorful stories or amusing holiday anecdotes. Oh, well, I love them anyway, even if they aren't entertaining!

And, just because it's getting closer (eeeeee!) =>

[laughn]

Cotton and play, I loved both your stories. Two totally different stories going in two totally different directions and emotions. Now picture that times a few hundred. hee. Clay must be going mad.

I know it's just me, but I think this tour will be fun just watching how he weaves it all together...or not. lol.

Either way, I'm game, and I'm ready, and I found myself counting down the days this morning.

Bring it Aiken! And if it turns out to be a total cheese boat I'm ready to sail with ya'!

btw, just thought I'd send a little wave to CG. The holidays in my home are shared with an atheist, a few Catholics, several Jewish friends, a Southern Baptist or two, and my daughter, who's only nod to the holidays is to give out a few Solstice presents.

[Couch Tomato]

Summary...

Good:

TLS, BOTW, Wildcard DLTSGDOM, blue shirts, freckles and curly hair, "fugly" clothes, sideburns, Ruben, Rickey, KLo, Vinagrettes, cheekbones, Clay Aiken singing Christmas songs, and lots of other shit

Not so good:

EL, those "disco" pants AND that silky shirt, Scraggle, DSIAFCD falsettos, commercialized Christmas', fanwars and rudeness to other Idols, and lots of other shit

LOL..this cracked me up.

What is scraggle.

And I still smile that you love the so "vinegrettes" so much. I never would have guessed. In fact, didn't I interrupt you a few weeks ago from your vinegrette watching heee. Welcome back!!

Lucky...where would I get AVG.

Playbiller, thanks for sharing your story! Fingers crossed the you get picked.

I'm up for re-reading LTS.

For me, Christmas is what it is - a combination of the secular and the sanctified, especially here in the US (and Canada, perhaps). Commercialization? You gotta admit, we're GOOD at it - and it's something that apparently speaks to a huge segment of the population. Clay's has always struck me as a sentimental type dude. All I have to do is look as ACAC (which I refuse to do ever again, even for Clay). A great big sugary sweet bunch of sentiment and that works for him. But I also tend to think he understands that it (and a lot of stuff he does) doesn't work for everybody. It's unavoidable. And he seems to be cool with that too.

Yep!!

OK seems like there is enough interest in LTS ...anybody interested in starting the thread and leading the way?

Cotton - my dad sang How Great Thou Art as well. That was his song. And "The Blood"... I love that song.

Anyway, your story is cracking me up. And you should should par it down and submit it... Clay didn't say he didn't want any more funny stories. And he is picking funny stories still. You should do it!

[luckiest1]

AVG Anti-Virus Software - free

Lavasoft AdAware Anti-Spyware Software - free

ETA: Cute stories, ladies! You should definitely submit them.

[playbiller]

I have both of those and use Spybot as well. Spybot stops them before they get imbedded. There is a lot of free software out there. I think I use most of it, but I can't seem to get any registry fix software to work, I guess I will have to just suck it up and edit it myself, I think one said I had 400 errors in my registry before crapping out and not correcting them. Hey, it is an old computer.

[Guest Toots]

I also use AVG free along with Windows Defender which is also free. Spybot is also agood program.

Ladies your stories are priceless. Even if Clay doesn't choose them I'm glad you shared them with us. Wasn't it kf who wrote the Joy to the World story?

You know, sometimes it isn't the story as much as the story and the teller. We have good storytellers here!

Hey play, good luck with all those registry errors. Wowzers!!

Well crap, I guess I'm going to have to buy LTS because so far I've resisted. Which audio version is the best?

[luckiest1]

The one with Clay reading, if you can still get it!

[keepingfaith]

Yes, I had the Joy To The World story -- and I submitted it for the first week of the tour, and haven't heard anything; but, it's not the touching, eyes tearing up kind of tale that Clay's looking for.

[luckiest1]

My understanding of Clay's blog is that he is only looking for those types of stories because he already has an abundance of the other types. So I don't think it means that he won't be choosing them as well. You are still in the running!

[YSRN]

Try CCleaner, play. http://www.ccleaner.com/

I use it occasionally. Though my Norton and PestPatrol pretty much keeps me clean, I run CCleaner occasionally to clean out unused temp files and things left behind from uninstalled programs. The only virus-y thing I've gotten over the past few years was from Clay's MySpace. That sucker put an ad juggler on my system that I finally had to go to HijackThis to get rid of.

Yeah, you busted me a few weeks ago... I adored that show with the vignettes and yes, I do watch it from time to time... All of it. I don't even think it's cheesy.

Heh, I thought Scraggle was Corey, but maybe it's Craggle. LOL! Hard to keep up on the lingo.

Funny story, Cotton... we left my 6-yo sister in a gas station for about an hour once on a drive to VA from CA. I don't remember what state we were in, but I bet she does. I don't think she ever got over it. There were 9 of us in a station wagon. What's one missing kid? Hee.

[muskifest]

Well....it's POSSIBLE that I might be able to do the Washington DC concert! I'm doing a business trip to Memphis and New Orleans the week right after that concert so am thinking of maybe flying first to Philly to hook up with CG before descending on our nation's capital....then on to Memphis, then on to New Orleans.

Since my airfare will be covered by work (well, except for my $99 one way to Philly) and I can stay wtih CG there and then will be given hotel rooms during my business travel after that, the concert ticket will be the biggest expense----I might be able to swing that, although I might be sitting in the cheap seats this time...

OOoooh.....I don't wanna get too excited in case it doesn't work out.....

ETA: Crap...that $99 one-way fare to Philly? Should have grabbed it yesterday when I saw it---it's $203+ now.