#5 (plus #6 & #7) - "Well....the weather outside is frightful...but the man is so delightful..."

[Claympagne]

That picture is absolutely stunning. GAH!!

[bottlecap]

Welcome Claympagne! Great screen name.

=================================================

(((georgiaclay))) - can't help with the "Clay is a geek" thing, 'cause he just is. wandacleo from the CV had a great response to the gay thing: When Clay starts sing through his dick, I'll start caring where it's been. Otherwise, PPPfffttt.

=================================================

A picture from Norfolk via the Clayboard. Taken by clayzthe1.

[ldyjocelyn]

A hearty greeting to Claympagne! A toast to you. *g*

(((georgiaclay))) - can't help with the "Clay is a geek" thing, 'cause he just is. wandacleo from the CV had a great response to the gay thing: When Clay starts sing through his dick, I'll start caring where it's been. Otherwise, PPPfffttt.

Yeah, that's the take I'd use on these people too. I mean, really....what does his singing voice and personality have to do with his perceived sexuality?

I've only had one person give me grief about this, and I shut him down pretty quickly with a similar message. We haven't talked about it since. I will say, though, that I'm not the type to egg these kinds of people on. The more they perceive that you are "giving it back to them," the more they feel that have to give it back to you, IMO. Kind of an endless circle. I personally would just keep listening to Clay, and ignoring them if they give you grief, or give them a well-rehearsed one-liner, and then say "I'm not going to talk about this anymore."

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. [tm Dennis Miller]

A picture from Norfolk via the Clayboard. Taken by clayzthe1.

God, that man is looking better and better each evening. I didn't listen to the cellcert last night. Was it a good one? What was the banter? How was his voice? I've read the concert thread, but it didn't seem to have all that much. Need more!

AIW listening party this evening! I'm not sure if I'll be back in time from my husband's Christmas party, so Ansa is in charge. The party starts at 9:30 EST!

[rcknrllmom]

I listened last night...it was fabulous....I swear he gets funnier and funnier every night......He sure looks FINE!!!!!!!!!! wow!!!!!!

[Claygasm]

It is sooooooooo cold here today, but looking at pictures like this make me feel quite warm all over!

Some clickable and lickable beauties from last night.

First, by dlh7777:

Next, by Mad4Clay:

And lastly, this gorgeous gem by Clayzthe1. So pretty I thought I would just skip the clickable part and go straight to the lickable part!

You know, I still am not carzy about the hair, although its looking better than the hat hair he had the first couple of nights, but that major stubble makes me VERY happy! I hope he doesn't shave it before tomorrow night! I want to see it in person, even if I am 18 rows back!

[rcknrllmom]

GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love love love love love the hair, the stubble...the whole darn package!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KAndre]

Hey, Claympagne!

Psst! Guys, look! We got maybe 5 whole not-a-mod/admins! Woo Hoo!

I dragged an article over from the CH because I wanna comments on it, preceded by the blog the reviewer wrote before attending, and will be deconstructing the review paragraph by paragraph...(of course, I had to get up off the floor after laughing myself sick at the sheer horribleness of it):

Malcolm is doing Clay Aiken

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm reviewing the show.

Although I can't name one Clay Aiken song as of right now, I admit that I'm fascinated with this guy. Or more specifically, I'm fascinated by how he's managed to remain a celebrity.

He's not a terrribly good singer. He was unleashed on us from the horrifically cheesy American Idol, which he didn't even win, by the way. He doesn't have knockout looks, swagger or charisma. And, lest we not forget, there's significant buzz that he's gay . Of course, that's not a big deal, but it's the continued, steadfast denials in the face of good circumstantial evidence to the contrary that help make Aiken this sort of waxy, artificial character that throws back to the era of other equally schmaltzy performers. He's like Liberace, only terrifically more boring.

And then there are the fans. Such is the zeal of these typically frumpy, middle American women that they've rallied behind him, or, on the other side of the camp, threatened to sue him for misleading them.

All of which makes tonight's performance not to be missed. It's Hampton Roads' camp concert of the year, second only to K-Fed's appearance at the NorVa. Check Saturday's Pilot for a review.

OK, clearly this is a clear-eyed, objective reviewer. [Hint to reviewer: This is called "sarcasm". S-A-R-C-A-S-M. I'm being facetious. I do that.]

Clay goes a-carolin' at the Scope

NORFOLK — Clay Aiken is a phenomenon.

He lost on “American Idol,” but his debut “Measure of a Man,” sold 3 million copies. He has appeared on TV with Oprah Winfrey, Barry Manilow and a digitally revived Bing Crosby in “A Clay Aiken Christmas.”

- Ooo, look! A factual paragraph. His 9th grade English teacher would be so very proud. I'm afraid it goes downhill from here for him, but increases our entertainment value!

He is a force. He is a movement, one led by a tribe dubbed “Claymates.” These people came to see Clay – Clay is on a first-name basis with his fans – sing Christmas standards Thursday night at Norfolk’s Scope.

Oooo-Kay. I like the fact Clay is on a first name basis with his fans, which apparently includes the reviewer. The "movement led by a tribe dubbed Claymate" has me looking for Charlton Heston in his Moses persona.

Prior to Clay’s performance, the Ed Walters Orchestra warmed the crowd, which filled roughly a third of the venue. Christmas trees and illuminated drums adorned the stage. Violinists, bassists and a harpist set the scene, a scene beautiful enough to forget the ugliness Clay has endured lately.

Clay, a pale and slightly scrawny fellow, has been called nerdy. He has been called a bore. More salaciously, Clay’s personal life is a popular target of Internet chatter . Weeks ago, he was center in a tug-of-implied-war with Kelly Ripa and Rosie O’Donnell. O’Donnell called Ripa homophobic after Ripa reprimanded Clay for covering her hand with his mouth on her show. That set off a media hullabaloo.

All of which makes Clay a phenomenon.

Hmmm, I didn't know Christmas trees helped make Clay a phenomenon. I'll be danged, learn something new every day.

Judging from the audience at Scope, Clay’s fans live in a different universe. Claymates, almost uniformly white, middle-aged and fond of holiday sweaters bearing glittery appliqués, like Clay for who he is: a tender, sugary and sassy performer with timeless charisma.

Tsk, tsk. Apparently the reviewer has something against internal consistancy...make up your mind dude: no charisma or the timeless kind?

He emerged wearing a slim ebony suit and pointy black boots with high chunky heels. His thick hair was razor-sharp and teased; he gently swept locks from his face with a finger all night. He sang “The First Noel” with control and verve, and later “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” Clay’s renditions were superbly done – potentially flawless – yet it’s enough to cause sudden pangs of numbing boredom

Dear Lord! Muski! I think you have [really bad] competition! And I find his odd little meme that superbly done renditions caused sudden pangs of boredom...I think he meant sudden pangs of lust and simply mistyped. Poor, pitiful fool! Clay doesn't want you - I'm afraid he can get better "journalists" than you...and fan-fic-ers

But here’s why Clay is savvy: he knows this. He had the confidence of a minister. He wooed the shrieking women and cracked jokes, some at his own expense. He asked men if their wives dragged them there. He said the Enquirer would soon have a story about his love child.

I would have said Clay was savvy 'cause he's smarter than the reviewer, but I'm not writing the review.

“I am the sultan of scandal,” he said. “This business about putting hands over people’s mouths – not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sometimes people need scandal.”

Clay, a North Carolina native and former schoolteacher with a philanthropic bent, walked into the crowd. He danced with his mother, and gave a shout-out to his brother and other relatives in attendance. He called his audience his family. He called someone rude for using a cell phone.

“It took me 20 minutes to squeeze into this sweater, and you’re on the phone.”

He noted that Thursday was Pearl Harbor Day – a factoid that would have been Greek to younger folks.

Really! Hell, I saw that it was the anniversary of Pearl Harbor on a number of news shows. Is he calling younger fans stupid? (and BTW younger than what? The reviewer ain't striking me as a spring chicken either - wait, do I need to explain that to the younger mods? Man, this stereotyping crap is hard!

This is why Clay Aiken is a phenomenon. He gives his audience – uninterested in his personal life , yearning for safe, white-bread Americana – warm, cherry-pie carols appropriate for hanging stockings and trimming the tree. The world, with its pornographic Internet and bossy lesbian talk-show hosts, could flood again or burn to ashes, but Clay would always be there as a reminder that some things never change and good always prevails.

Wait, I thought he was a phenomenon because of the Christmas trees! Dammit, internal consistancy! And I'm afraid this is the part that had my butt rolling on the floor: "his audience - uninterested in his personal life" BWAH! HA HA HAHA! Maybe Clive should share some of his emails. What the hell is a cherry pie carol? Shouldn't it be mincemeat or pumpkin or something? You know, I really think even the most angel-wingy of angel-wingers would notice another Noah's flood or Armaggedeon...really I do. They would have to move their Clay shrines to the bunker. And what does he have against Ellen? Man, he's just throwing the kitchen sink in there! And I have to admit, I am wondering where the reviewer got the notion that Clay was impervious to fire and water. I think that's Superman...and maybe Blade. I watched Blade, but not Superman, so it's hard for me to tell. If Clay starts killing vampires, I think we've discovered Clay's secret identity! Wow!

Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Nope, I like Blade.

He's starting to look like an Edwardian dandy - except for the furry face!

[Claygasm]

KAndre, I am sooooo proud to be your minion!! Your editorializing has me rolling on the floor with laughter!!

Once again, I bow to you!

[georgiaclay]

Thank you again ladies for all the advise. Well taken and will use the "you are not in my or the AIKEN's universe". Seriously, I am just going to ignore the broom handlers and go on my merry way, watching clack, listening to MP3's and just enjoying the heck of that redheaded/brown headed/scuffy face (oh my GOD what a face) man. I would give anything to get a little case of beard rash from that man. UMMMMM does he look good or what. Love the sweater. Have loved all the outfits that he has worn so far. Again, UMMMMMM, eye candy.

I am off work today and it is still cold as snot in Georgia. I hate the cold. Don't know how you Yankee's do it. I don't think I would like the white stuff falling from the sky's to much.

Have a wonderful day I will check in tonight. We have two high school football teams that are playing in the playoff's this weekend, so my time will be taken up with that. We are a football town.

See ya around.

G

[Ansamcw]

I bow to the snarkmeister...

yup...we should conduct regular deconstructing classes..

its pretty sad indeed that with certain people its more about the audience and what Clay represent for them rather than just the music and entertainment value...SO if we had mostly teens and 20 something and male in the audience you think we would get an entirely different review with exactly the same show???

[muskifest]

KAndre...spot on! (Wait, is it wrong to use the word 'spot'? Will Spot get angry? Should I NOT wear my spotted applique Christmas sweater next week in Long Island?)

And if I may continue: (Ahem...and this is a long one ---heh---so scroll at will)

Malcolm is doing Clay Aiken

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm reviewing the show.

No you're not---either doing Clay OR reviewing the show. You're showing your ignorance.

Although I can't name one Clay Aiken song as of right now, I admit that I'm fascinated with this guy. Or more specifically, I'm fascinated by how he's managed to remain a celebrity

. Aw, I feel ya', dawg. I'm fascinated with him, too. And additionally, I'm fascinated by how you've managed to get published.

He's not a terrribly good singer.

HUH? Oh, I'm sorry, I was distracted there a moment by how loudly your ignorance was blaring again.

And, lest we not forget, there's significant buzz that he's gay . Of course, that's not a big deal, but it's the continued, steadfast denials in the face of good circumstantial evidence to the contrary

Finally! Someone in the media who admits that Clay has denied all that 'good circumstantial evidence' (You know, Malcolm, you ARE the tabloids you READ.)

that help make Aiken this sort of waxy, artificial character that throws back to the era of other equally schmaltzy performers. He's like Liberace, only terrifically more boring.

Waxy? Artificial? Boring? uh.....just no. HOwever....Schmaltzy? Ok, score one for you.

typically frumpy, middle American women

I am NOT in the middle, dang it! I live in California. Geez...get a fact checker.

Check Saturday's Pilot for a review

OOOh...I'll be waiting with baited traps of strikingly long and sharp spikes.

Now...your...'review'...

Clay, a pale and slightly scrawny fellow, has been called nerdy. He has been called a bore

Honey, you reading Dickens these days? And "a bore"? I really do want to know of another person who's ever characterized Clay Aiken this way. Except you, of course, in your 'preview'.

Ripa reprimanded Clay for covering her hand with his mouth on her show.

Oh man...I wish I'd written this in my most recent story. I could do all KINDS of good stuff with a scenario of Clay covering a woman's hand with his mouth....Lordy, Lordy....

Claymates, almost uniformly white, middle-aged and fond of holiday sweaters bearing glittery appliqués

Ok....so KAndre likes sequins. Sue her. But dayum. I could've sworn you weren't white, girl! Hmmm. Well, if you are, you sho' know a lot about hair weaves. HelLO?

Clay’s renditions were superbly done – potentially flawless – yet it’s enough to cause sudden pangs of numbing boredom

But...but...I thought you said he wasn't a "terribly good singer"? And I'd sue Clay if I were you for plagiarism---you know, the "numbing boredom" schtick he has?

He called someone rude for using a cell phone.

And I'm calling you much worse for misusing the English language.

This is why Clay Aiken is a phenomenon

Finally! Something of yours that I can agree with! To wit:

1.

his audience – uninterested in his personal life

Thank the Lord he can finally go to the grocery store in peace!

2.

yearning for safe, white-bread Americana

How do YOU know he likes white bread, Malcolm? You been stalking him in the grocery store?

3.

appropriate for hanging stockings

Okay, now that's just dirty.

4.

world<snip> could flood again or burn to ashes

Busted on both counts, for I have both flooded and burned over this man.

5.

a reminder that some things never change

As your shameful attempt at journalism proves.

6.

good always prevails

As karma will prove. Checked your bank account and fan club membership numbers lately, Malcolm?

Whew! I feel SOOOOOOO much better. Now I can get to work. Have a great day, everybody!

Edited December 8, 2006 by muskifest

[Ansamcw]

WEEEEE...this is fun!!!!

thanks all...taht felt sooo good.

[ldyjocelyn]

KAndre, you are the best. That reviewer was, well, a joke. And I'd love to know the answer to Ansa's question as well...if the audience was mostly guys, but the same exact show, would the reviewer suddenly say "that was cool, man?" Does.not.compute.

Will I get my minionship taken away, though, to point out that even his first paragraph isn't factual the way it's written? Bing wasn't part of Clay's Christmas special, he was part of that Nickelodeon thingy...And I don't remember Oprah being on that either. Bad sentence, I guess. Idiot.

ETA: I see now that muskifest has also taken on this blowhard....can we send your review to him? Or would he even understand it. You used big words and stuff.

Edwardian dandy? Yum. That's a great description. I have loved every outfit he's worn on stage or in public in the past few months. The monochromatic color schemes work for him. He's such a handsome man....

I am off work today and it is still cold as snot in Georgia. I hate the cold. Don't know how you Yankee's do it. I don't think I would like the white stuff falling from the sky's to much.

How cold is snot where you are? Because it was below 0 for us in Illinois this morning! THAT'S frigid. Let me guess, it was probably 40 degrees, right? Sorry...no sympathy from me.

I'm teasing G. My sister lives in Florida, and she's always telling us how cold it is there during the winter. Meanwhile, those of us in Illinois just LOL.

Tell you what...look at some more of the pretty pictures of Clay, and you'll warm right up.

[KAndre]

Well, I'll be ding-danged!

YouStopRightNow of the CH went back and look what his post-concert blog says:

Well I'll be a Claymate

Last night I became a Claymate.

He drew a small but loyal crowd to the Scope last night. He wore an amazing black slim suit. He rocked a magnicicent haircut.

And then he sang. It was gentle and soft and mesmerizing, and the accompanying orchestra was on fire. And then he joked. He's rather funny, Clay, and he cracked jokes at his own expense, calling himself the sultan of scandal. Although at some points I was bored beyond belief and felt an urge to light a cigarette, I left liking the guy a lot and having a tremendous amount of respect for who he is and what he does.

Which brings me to yesterday's blog post, advancing the show. A few of you responded that the anticipatory post was venemous and a little derogatory, and you are right. You also pointed out that it was low of me to call his fans primarily "chunky women from middle America," and you are, again, perhaps right. (Although I've never seen a concert whose attendees were so uniformly white and middle aged in my entire life.) Celebrities are open to ridicule because they are famous, but people who just want to see a show are not.

Please accept my sincerest apologies. Sometimes, in this crazy-mixed up cruel universe, attempts at wit can go horribly awry. That's one thing I detest most about some celebrity "journalists" and yesterday I became the thing I loathe. Thank you for calling me on it.

But let's make something clear: I am an equal-opportunity offender. I will skewer the off-beat dancers at a Kool & The Gang cover band concert just as quickly as I will ridicule the hip hop trash that parades the Oceanfront at night in the summer. I am edgy and perenially disgusted with everything and everybody. I am smug, arrogant, snobbish, too-opinionated and a little judgemental, but the one thing I try not to be is rude or crass or in poor taste. Yesterday I was. I'm not exaggerating when I say I lost a little bit of sleep over it. (Like, a few minutes.)

So, in the future, if you're easily offended, perhaps you should entertain yourself somewhere else.

Long live Clay!

Posted: 12/08/2006 at 10:56 AM .

I can live with an equal opportunity snob and agree with his self-assessment, but appreciate the fact that he backed off the fans.

I win! Yeah, I bet you felt an urge to light up a cigarette...I swear to God, we are gonna see weird Mary Jane fanfic from this dude!

KAndre pulls out her scorecard, marks another down for her 'n Clay, does her little victory dance, and puts the scorecard back...

And muski - rhinestones, doll; never sequins - I need the glitter. As for the white thing, I frankly try not to ask my mother exactly what she did with who 40-something years ago...much less my grandma! Heh.

[ldyjocelyn]

HA! That "reviewer"was a wimp! He got wind of your taking him down KAndre, and wrote this in response as a counterproductive move! HA! But he's still in your range, isn't he? (For shooting him down, that is...)

[muskifest]

I swear to God, we are gonna see weird Mary Jane fanfic from this dude!

Oh no! Competition! :o

[bottlecap]

Wow, after that hysterical skewering of Blogger Boy (who I hope is enjoying himself a big ole glass of slightly rancid, artery-clogging, blech-inducing eggnog), my little story about hearing Clay on the radio seems pretty inane. But I'll tell it anyway.

The local AC station has switched over to all Christmas music, and while I don't listen to it much because I can't stand 99.9% of what they play, I do have it programmed on my car radio. Every once in a while, I will tune in just to see if I can catch a Clay song. Yesterday, I got "... Aiken, Andy Williams, and Mariah", so I knew I just missed him. Today, I was pulling away from the Arby's drive thru window, and switched the station back on. This time I was rewarded with the sounds of "Mary Did You Know" which I promptly cranked up to window-shattering levels. (It's 25 degrees here, so I wasn't willing to roll my windows down to treat my fellow drivers to the dulcet strains of Mr. Aiken's masterful voice.) I had to sit for a moment at the gas station with my engine running so I could hear the end of the song and WOOOO HOOO a bit. The female DJ said "That was Mary Did You Know by Clay Aiken. We get a lot of requests for that song." That warranted another Wooo Hooo on my part.

I heard the beginning of "Celebrate Me Home" on another station yesterday, and it somehow seemed just... wrong. Kenny, I know it's your song and all, but your whiny, nasally voice... um, kinda sucks to my ears. Sorry, dude.

[muskifest]

yeah, bottle...I know exactly what you mean about how other people's voices on ANY Christmas song Clay has stolen...er.....sung. I heard some female screechy voice absolutely killing (in a bad way) MGUCL and hurried the hell out of that store! Blech!

Nothing sounds right...well, I have to give NKC his roasting chestnuts, but GENERALLY, nothing else but Clay sounds right.

I cannot TELL you how excited I am to take my daughter to this concert. I only wish she and I had second row seats so that Clay might notice her and even talk to her. She's a PYT and blonde with blue eyes and 13 years isn't that much of a difference, right?

Yuck ...what am I saying? I'd absolutely DIE having Clay for a son in law. They'd have to put me away, for sure. Just not fittin'....

[KAndre]

Don't worry, Muski...I'll marry Clay and let you adopt me...

[bottlecap]

Yuck ...what am I saying? I'd absolutely DIE having Clay for a son in law. They'd have to put me away, for sure. Just not fittin'....

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

[Ansamcw]

Yuck ...what am I saying? I'd absolutely DIE having Clay for a son in law. They'd have to put me away, for sure. Just not fittin'....

Oh yeah this made me laugh....heee...that is quite a dilemma, You don;t want to go Mrs. Robinson on him...

Yeah...even Quiana totally lost MGUCL...she does have a pwerful voice...but Clay slays me from his low range to his glory notes.

[muskifest]

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

TRYing?

TRYing?

Now, THAT'S FUNNY!

Edited December 8, 2006 by muskifest

[Claygasm]

I was just listening to part of an interesting interview with Elton John. Unfortunately I like had to actually do some work in the middle of it. :glare:

Anyway, one thing he was talking about was writing lyrics. He doesn't do it. Says he's terrible. He thinks anyone who writes really good lyrics is a true artist - especially if they are lyrics that say something or mean something, not just a bunch of words strung together. He of course talked of Bernie Taupin, but I thought of Clay and LAA.

The other thing I heard that struck me was how he was complaining how he was treated by his record label because of LACK OF PROMOTION for his last album. He said reviews don't matter because mostly only people in the music business read those. He said in store promotion is huge. How, he said, can you expect someone to buy an album if they don't know about it? He said if you don't precisely fit a certain radio format you won't get radio play so the best ongoing way to promote an album is in the stores. For example, he said he was in many record stores in the US and Canada and never saw one poster advertising his album. He said things have changed with the labels. They just don't promote their artists the way they used to. He has left his label largely because of it. He said the way they didn't promote him has become more the norm than the exception. He thought a lot of that attitude was due to the ability to download music from the internet. He said he likes to have a physical CD in his hands and he fears that one day there will be no actual CDs. All music will be downloaded and he laments that. He believes that fewer and fewer artists will sell 10s of millions of albums because of that.

My thought, if a label doesn't promote a legend like Elton John, why should we think they should pull out all the stops in promoting Clay? I think he's right. Huge constant promotion, promotion beyond the weeks immediately surrounding an album release, is the exception not the rule. The easiest promotion seems to be radio play IF you are one of the lucky artists that neatly fits into a radio format. Unfortunately, as Elton said, there are so many wonderful artists out there that don't fit.

Clay, IMO, is one of them. No matter how hard some of the Pod People want to think otherwise, he does not fit in easily with any radio format, not even AC. It doesn't even matter the song. If an artist is perceived as being strictly AC, for example, chances are they are not going to get played on a true Pop station. And Clay doesn't fit anything neatly, IMO. And without radio play, and with the labels - all labels not just evil RCA - promotions not being what they used to be, I think Clay got his fair share of promotion for ATDW. Would he have gotten significantly more with an album of all originals? Maybe a little, but I still maintain that it wasn't the content of the album that determined the promotion. I think it is just a sign of the times.

[Ansamcw]

WORD...

the thing we have to remember...the music industry is in deep trouble...so they really need to be careful with promotions money. TBTP then looks to the tried and true formula and are more willing to invest in the sure things. When you think of it...Chris promo wasn;t really that different from clay except for the radio play. They probably spent more on his in store promo. But I don't even think he had a video before the CD came out. This tells me they were waiting for some revenue from the CD first before spending on the video. What gave Chris a heads up from other debut artist is the AI exposure...what gave Chris an advantage over other idols coming out with CDs this year is his rock style. put that together ...you get good sales.

Clay had his fanbase and his good rep. His celebrity status also contributed to that cos he gave him PRIME promo opportunities.

[JennaZ]

Great post, Claygasm. I'd heard that Elton John had complained about promotion. Janet Jackson's boyfriend has made similar claims. Even Madonna. Essentially, in-store promotion seems to go only to a lucky few, no matter how good sales have been in the past. Some say that the real reason Elton, Janet, and Madonna aren't getting what they used to is ageism. Labels perceive that they appeal to older audiences, and thus are unwilling to promote them as they would younger artists. I do think it's possible that Clay's fans are perceived to be older, which may explain the similar treatment.

I agree, though, that Clay does not have the kind of sound that slips easily into most radio formats.