#27: Ya' gotta give me somethin', honey!

[muskifest]

I have a serious proposition.

Considering all the $$$ we spend regularly for going to Clay concerts and Broadway shows, etc....don't you think it would be cost efficient for FCA to invest in an RV?

I mean, we could all pitch in and then hire a Sarge-type driver to haul us all over the country. We could criss cross, hop on and off at various 'stations' along the way, all the while watching clack on board and drinking out of little glasses with umbrellas sticking out of them....

What do y'all think?

ETA: crap---I forgot about the obscene cost of gas....damn! Okay, Plan B. We just need to enlist a Clay fan who's independently wealthy....or willing to sell herself to some oil baron.

There. Problem solved.

[PermaSwooned]

Oh, Wow!!!

You guys are the bestest!! Thank you so much for giving this poor orphan shelter from the storm. One more thought and I'll stop whining, I promise. It has good stuff about FCA, so it can't be all bad.

I thought I was all calm and stuff with a "que sera, sera" type attitude, until y'all were so welcoming, and some even admitted you'd been on the sidelines of the battlefield. And suddenly, I found myself all misty!!! Good thing I was having a big allergy attack today with red, puffy, watery eyes or it could have been REALLY embarrassing. I guess the big dust-up got to me more than I thought.

Evidently I fooled myself into thinking I was just standing up for fair play and for the underdog, but maybe I was a little more "hypersensitive" than I thought. When my first marriage was breaking up, I knew it was inevitable, but when we finally said it out loud, I cried anyway for what HAD been and for what COULD have been. This felt a little like that, especially when a couple of my best friends joined in the pile-on. ALL of my SoCal friends are members of that board. Kind of a tough day, so thanks.

OK!! Whining is all done now. It's safe to come out.

Lemme see...what did I need to respond to.....

liney23....

I live in Redondo Beach and work in Torrance (near the 110 Fwy). Most of North OC is within a 30 to 40 minute range for me, which is nothing in L.A. terms. I'd love to meet you, and as it happens, it appears I may be in the market for a new SoCal friend or two. Maybe we can start a Pacific Coast branch of the eHP!!!

Thanks to every one who had such nice things to say about my picture. I'm noticing that the compression by the Board is making some of the lines of his face a little jagged here on my work computer. If you have the band that says "Click here to expand to full size", it's worth it, both for licking purposes and for saving purposes, if you are so inclined. It makes him verra, verra smoooooooooooth. Yum.

:5: Hey, Karen eh!!!!

LOVED the hilarious (only in retrospect) saga of your first day "home alone" in Baku. I can't believe how you are taking all this in stride. I would be shipping myself home in the frozen meat cooler already. My admiration knows no bounds. You're starting to learn Akeri tomorrow? That's a real language and not something spoken by Klingons? God, my world view has become so narrow!! You go, girl!! Please DO fire up the blog and post as much as possible.

LUCKIEST1, BETTER START SCROLLING

I have not been in seat A101, I was in seat A1. From another seat in C103, though, I would say that the view from both of the A seats have something in common. At different points in the play, he is immediately in front of A101 and then A1 when he is mounting and dismounting his horse. I should point out that the horse is see-through.....OK, it's a pretend horse, but it's a BIG pretend horse, because he does the dismount in a REALLY BIG WAY. You will quickly discover how the seam in the chain mail tights is holding up at that performance, and let me just say that when Clay showed off his black underwear/tights to Lynda Loveland in his dressing room, they were not new to me. If you get my drift, and I'm betting that you all do.

OK LUCKIEST1, IT'S SAFE TO COME OUT NOW

Yes, K'eh. I do indeed have the FZ18. I touted it to Gibby just a few days ago. I used in in Las Vegas and at my CITH shows. LOVE it. However, I am no help whatsoever on stage door settings. I was too far back on opening weekend, jostled from all sides, and either my fingers or my camera, or maybe both nearly froze solid, so I hardly got a single decent shot....the one I posted being the exception. I really didn't want to "flash him" right in the face...no, not that kind of flash!..., but there's too much movement to get a decent shot without it, IMO, so I'm going to be asking advice from YOU after you go, since I'm hoping to get back for closing weekend.

Speaking of pictures......OK, you all asked for it, don't blame me!!!

ldyjocelyn, I've been saving this one for you, and since you were the first one to answer my plea and invite me to hunker down here, I'm going to post it first. It features both happy Clay and glasses Clay, which I know are your favorites, so I hope you like it. I think he's CUTE!!!

This one is in answer to whoever asked treenuts where her avi came from. Just about the time I was going to identify it as one of mine, she changed it to her current avi, which, as it happens, is ALSO one of mine. Anyhoo, her older avi was from Tampa, here:

The lighting was a photographers nightmare in Tampa. Some of the people sitting front and center did pretty well, but ClayIzzaQT was sitting next to me, and both of us got neon pinky-orange Clay all night. The only fixes seem to be transfering the pic to black and white, or de-saturating the color. Like this:

OK, enough beauty for one night.

Oh look, my "work" day has ended!! I might as well head home!!

Thanks again, guys, for saving my day.

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Cotton]

I'm not partial to amphitheaters - I'm OLD and I hatesses the heat!!!

But if we're going to have to endure them to see/hear the man, would someone please join me at the Walnut Creek Alter??!!!

I hatessess Koka Booth!

Seriously, give me cushy seats and AC anyday!!

But - for you, Clay . . . I'll do it!

[jamar1700]

Considering all the $$$ we spend regularly for going to Clay concerts and Broadway shows, etc....don't you think it would be cost efficient for FCA to invest in an RV?

I mean, we could all pitch in and then hire a Sarge-type driver to haul us all over the country. We could criss cross, hop on and off at various 'stations' along the way, all the while watching clack on board and drinking out of little glasses with umbrellas sticking out of them....

What do y'all think?

ETA: crap---I forgot about the obscene cost of gas....damn! Okay, Plan B. We just need to enlist a Clay fan who's independently wealthy....or willing to sell herself to some oil baron.

hmmmm.

Maybe we could solve mysteries along the way and document them in a series of wildly successful books. What? We got some writers here. Some of us know something about books.

---

Perma Welcome :F_05BL17blowkiss: from one 'fugee to another.

[ausdon]

I love little huge glasses with umbrellas!

.... But oil barons are a bit thin on the ground here...... will think of something .......

[muskifest]

Wow. My teenager and I just watched two local network affiliates on television cover an impromptu 'walk out' that the two high schools in our town organized today. Evidently, our esteemed Governor's budget cuts in education funding has pissed off some kids in our district. The cuts mean elimination or reduction of some school sports, music programs and AP classes. Great. California is already about 48th out of 50 states in overall test scores, etc.

So, according to the news report and my daughter, after a school district meeting last night that a lot of student leaders attended and participated in, a bunch of text messaging happened this morning after attendance was taken (since schools receive funding per student, based on attendance! BWAH!), the kids started with the "get to ______ High School ( my daughter's and also the building where school district offices are) to let people know we care and want change! So hordes of students from teh other high school at the other end of our island town descended on Alex's school and congregated in the auditorium.

The school district superintendent left her offices and joined the group on stage, as did teachers, parents and students. The supt. said the only way things could be saved is a parcel tax that would add about $125 per year to property taxes. Somebody was interviewed and said, "I don't know what these kids think they can change...they're just idealistic."

Then a student leader (a guy) answered and said, "If young people throughout our history believed that, we'd be living in a far different kind of country that we are right now." One of the video clips showed one girl on stage saying, "If you want to make a difference, volunteer to go door to door and ask your neighbors to support the schools. Write your congressman, senator, the governor!" That girl is the goalie on Alex's soccer team.

Wow.

[aikim]

Not a big fan of outdoor theaters either; I am not a big fan of heat...the JBT in Indy comes to mind...but if that was the only choice to see Clay this summer, I would be there.

The RV sounds good, but I don't drink...just stick an umbrella in my iced tea...

Kim

[ausdon]

Considering all the $$$ we spend regularly for going to Clay concerts and Broadway shows, etc....don't you think it would be cost efficient for FCA to invest in an RV?

I mean, we could all pitch in and then hire a Sarge-type driver to haul us all over the country. We could criss cross, hop on and off at various 'stations' along the way, all the while watching clack on board and drinking out of little glasses with umbrellas sticking out of them....

What do y'all think?

ETA: crap---I forgot about the obscene cost of gas....damn! Okay, Plan B. We just need to enlist a Clay fan who's independently wealthy....or willing to sell herself to some oil baron.

hmmmm.

Maybe we could solve mysteries along the way and document them in a series of wildly successful books. What? We got some writers here. Some of us know something about books.

---

Perma Welcome :F_05BL17blowkiss: from one 'fugee to another.

What a great idea Jamar! It would be easy cos we know that the crime was always done by Old Man Perkins and the evidence is always at the abandoned mine shaft!

What? I do so know about books. I read one once. It was a green one (tm ..someone else)

[muskifest]

The RV sounds good, but I don't drink...just stick an umbrella in my iced tea...

Kim

Hey, Kim! I didn't say the drink had to have alcohol in it!

I brought work home with me and I don't want to do it.

Any suggestions for what I could do instead?

ETA: Hey! It's 9:30 pm on Broadway already and I haven't seen ONE report from the land of ripped crotch seams yet. 'Sup widdat?

[skybar22]

If it's a summer tour in amphitheaters then AZ will be left out again. Talk about heat. How about 110+ in July/Aug? I can hope he will still cross the US and do some indoor venues. He's done that before, right?

[jamar1700]

Hey, Kim! I didn't say the drink had to have alcohol in it!

I'll take Kim's share.

What?

[treenuts]

I have a serious proposition.

I'm seriously concerned for you muski! The entire post which followed that had NOT ONE ounce of smut in it! Seriously, get thee to a doctor....STAT!

This one is in answer to whoever asked treenuts where her avi came from. Just about the time I was going to identify it as one of mine, she changed it to her current avi, which, as it happens, is ALSO one of mine. Anyhoo, her older avi was from Tampa,

BWAH

Yes perma, you procure such delightful delicacies for our demonic dainty eyes.

Bringing this over from CB

Intermission report from Rhustress: Good crowd tonight, all cast members are there. Lots of Clay fans in the audience. King Arthur ad libbed a bit during Knights of the Round Table song (the part where he "scats") - cracked people up. Clay was adorable during Bring out Your Dead scene. Lots of applause for Clay when he was introduced during All for One Number. There is an older guy sitting in B101 - he looks unsuspecting!

[aikim]

Hmmm...I think not drinking could have its advantages...the heck with solving mysteries and writing a book...I think the madcap adventures of my fellow FCA'rs would be much more interesting (of course all names will be changed to protect the inn...okay not so innocent)

Kim

[ldyjocelyn]

Kareneh, I'm so glad your adventurous morning turned out OK. Did you ever get a shower?

Hey! That's it!! Kareneh could write up her adventures in Baku, we could publish them and then sell them for gas money for that RV!!!!

ldyjocelyn, I've been saving this one for you, and since you were the first one to answer my plea and invite me to hunker down here, I'm going to post it first. It features both happy Clay and glasses Clay, which I know are your favorites, so I hope you like it. I think he's CUTE!!!

Oh my. Perma, you are the best. Really. I know you were having a crappy day, and here you are, making my day end on a perfect note with that picture. Wow. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Hey, Kim! I didn't say the drink had to have alcohol in it!

I'll take Kim's share.

What?

I'll have what she's having.

Hey cha cha trusty, take a look at my new avi. Had it since this morning. Hee.

Amphitheaters, eh? I'll be OK with that -- if I can survive the Boston JBT *waves at Perma, couchie, and all the rest that were there that freakin' hot night*, I can survive anything. Survive the crash, survive the burn. *g* Actually, I'm more concerned with the timing -- late July is good for having some money saved up again after NYC....but possibly bad for me with work. Harumph.

ETA:

posted by RunningFree (CH)

Fun recap from CV - some add libs and differences from earlier shows:

NYCITYCLAYFAN wrote:

Now that I'm feeling better, I decided to write up my recap from last night. Not too detailed about the usual stuff, just things that made me sit up and take notice or I thought were cute to share.

First and foremost: Tom was back! YAY!! All was right with the world last night!

I swear that everytime I see that show, Clay does something more to impress me. His guard in the window is now the best I've ever seen him do it. The way he stretches out his lines, facial expressions and the way he plays with his helmet strap like he's not interested in Arthur is one of the funniest things he's done. He rolls his eyes and gets a laugh just from that!

During the All For One part, they pulled him back just before he finished his yodeling and the look on his face was so great. They really took him by surprise!

The Camelot scene just gets better every time - the dancing flows so well and he interacts with the rest of the ensemble so much better than opening weekend, but also better than 2 weeks ago when I last went.

The Find Your Grail scene gets better each time too. Just little tweaks here and there, but they are so subtle yet good that you notice the improvements over time. Loved how he got off his horse during the French Taunter scene and tied it up and petted it. His ad libs are more and more and very well timed.

When he did the Brave Sir Robin part and Tom is singing about what doom will come to him he usually puts his hand on the tamborine and tells him Enough singing lads. Well last night his hand came down hard and he nearly knocked it out of Tom's hand and he might have scared himself and got all flustered, but stayed true to character and played it up as Sir Robin scaring himself and it was hysterical. His hand went up by his face and he looked petrified. And that was just before the Black Knight comes and scares the crap (literally and figuratively) out of him. I have to say I've never seem someone soil themselves better!

His YCSOB number is still great, but I did notice that the singing is stronger (the part when he's standing on the piano). I was orchestra third row aisle on the right side and I could hear him without the mic most of the night - his voice is so clear! At the end in front of the King he got down on his knee and before you knew it he popped back up and stood (totally taking Jonathan by surprise) and it looked like Clay wanted to laugh!

The Knights of Ni were awesome with their usual banter and it looked like Rick Holmes was having some fun with Arthur - you had to see the way he was trying to crack him up just by staring at him a certain way. I swore it was one of the funniest things I'd seen in that part in the longest time. And when after they gave Arthur their new name (and the election results to that point) he had a hard time getting it together before he said "the artist formerly known as..." and you could see the smirk on Mr. Aiken's face, like he wanted to full out belly laugh cause the whole thing had the audience in stitches.

But the biggest laugh of the night came when Lancelot is standing next to Herbert and his father says "who are you" and Herbert responded with "I'm your son". The laughter went on for a minute or two before Lancelot could get himself composed enough to continue. I was at a show with my daughter on a Sat. matinee last month and it went on even longer than that and you could see the actor's eyes almost tearing trying to keep it together - almost reminds me of the old Carol Burnett Show when Tim Conway always would try and get Harvey Korman to crack. I love seeing Tom and Rick work together. They are such a great pair!

We hit the stage door as soon as the curtain dropped after the curtain call and song and were able to get up front (only the first time that's happened for me in all those shows). Clay came out after David and Tom (Patsy and Herbert) but passed Tom somewhere along the way when he got down to right in front of me. He looked at Tom as he passed him to sign and they got a little tangled up and he said "Tom you're too slow" or something to that effect and smiled and laughed and we told Clay that Tom was just basking in the glow and Clay's eyebrows shot up with such a look, but he never stopped what he was doing, just smiled and laughed before heading back inside. Tom stayed out and talked for quite a while with the fans, taking pictures and signing things for anyone who asked. As a matter of fact he is one of the sweetest of the cast, always staying until everyone has had a turn. Gotta love him!

My friend who was with me sent me a text message this morning telling me it just dawned on her that she stood face to face with Clay and he signed her souvenir brochure and looked her in the eye quickly when she told him she had her "pink jacket" (she's one of the NJ pink jacket ladies) and he snarked back - "I can see that" and he smiled at her. It was too sweet for words! She was so happy to get an autograph.

As soon we were heading back to Penn Station to grab our respective trains the girls were already making plans to come back and see the show again. They had already figured it was the only one they were going to see, but now they wanna see it again and again and again. Guess they've been bitten by the Sir Robin bug and I had to tell them that the only treatment is to see the show again and again. I hope I never find a cure!

[Gibby]

Hey, FCA!! Good to see ya'll again. Between being sick with the crud (yuck!) and being busy with work and fun I haven't been able to check in. Glad to see that everyone is still alive!

Muski, what a fun time it would be, driving around the country in an RV with fellow Clay fans to concerts! I'd love it, but my work schedule and pocketbook might not. Aw, to heck with reality!! Let's do it. Heeee!

Yes, K'eh. I do indeed have the FZ18. I touted it to Gibby just a few days ago. I used in in Las Vegas and at my CITH shows. LOVE it. However, I am no help whatsoever on stage door settings. I was too far back on opening weekend, jostled from all sides, and either my fingers or my camera, or maybe both nearly froze solid, so I hardly got a single decent shot....the one I posted being the exception. I really didn't want to "flash him" right in the face...no, not that kind of flash!..., but there's too much movement to get a decent shot without it, IMO, so I'm going to be asking advice from YOU after you go, since I'm hoping to get back for closing weekend.

Perma, I'm so glad you're taking shelter here!

And I have been looking into the FZ18. It's an awesome camera! I found a site that sells it pretty inexpensively, and am giving hubby information about it. Fortunately he is quite willing for me to direct him what to give me for my birthday! He does surprise me from time to time, but for the most part would rather give me what I really want. I'm already drooling over the idea of taking pictures with it - pictures of the Colorado mountains, family, and of course - Clay!!! I'm sure I have A LOT to learn about settings, though, so likely won't get the fantastic results that you and Kareneh get.

Kareneh, I hope you're able to figure out all those locks!

I'll be thrilled if Clay does a tour this summer, whether it's in amphitheatres or not!

ETA: Thanks for bringing over that detailed recap, ldyj. I enjoy reading about all the little nuances and changeups in each review!

And BWAH, CG!!!

[Claygasm]

Wow. My teenager and I just watched two local network affiliates on television cover an impromptu 'walk out' that the two high schools in our town organized today. Evidently, our esteemed Governor's budget cuts in education funding has pissed off some kids in our district. The cuts mean elimination or reduction of some school sports, music programs and AP classes. Great. California is already about 48th out of 50 states in overall test scores, etc.

So, according to the news report and my daughter, after a school district meeting last night that a lot of student leaders attended and participated in, a bunch of text messaging happened this morning after attendance was taken (since schools receive funding per student, based on attendance! BWAH!), the kids started with the "get to ______ High School ( my daughter's and also the building where school district offices are) to let people know we care and want change! So hordes of students from teh other high school at the other end of our island town descended on Alex's school and congregated in the auditorium.

The school district superintendent left her offices and joined the group on stage, as did teachers, parents and students. The supt. said the only way things could be saved is a parcel tax that would add about $125 per year to property taxes. Somebody was interviewed and said, "I don't know what these kids think they can change...they're just idealistic."

Then a student leader (a guy) answered and said, "If young people throughout our history believed that, we'd be living in a far different kind of country that we are right now." One of the video clips showed one girl on stage saying, "If you want to make a difference, volunteer to go door to door and ask your neighbors to support the schools. Write your congressman, senator, the governor!" That girl is the goalie on Alex's soccer team.

Wow.

Oooo! I love me some social activism!! Civil disobedience and all that! Brings back memories of my hippy youth!

Permaswooned, your bribery will get you everywhere!!! But seriously, you are welcomed here!! We are better for your presence.

You know, so many of us came here because we were refugees, or lost souls without a home anymore. I think FCA is the Statue of Liberty of the message boards!

Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Sort of fits, doesn't it? I mean many of us are tired - if not physically, then tired of being trounced upon, tired of putting up with crap, tired of having all the fun sucked out of this fandom.

Heaven knows most of us are poor! If we weren't before Clay, we are now!

We long to be free of the chains that dragged so many of us down in this fandom.

We've been cast aside.

We were homeless.

Until we came here where the lamp at the door welcomed us in and made us feel at home.

Sure we bicker and fight and pout and have to put up with very sharp stilettos from time to time.

But before you know it we are drooling and smutting and eeeeeeeeeeing and being silly and fangirly.

And at times we even have intelligent discussion!

Yup. FCA is the Statue of Liberty of the Clay message boards! That is for sure!

So welcome home, Permaswooned!

ETA: I wouldn't start counting on that summer amphitheater tour yet - not based on something some broker said! We don't even have a firm release date for the CD!

Besides, I cannot afford a summer tour and have vacation time until the end of July!!!!

[KAndre]

KAndre notices that oil big wigs are fairly thick on the ground around here, but seem to be old and/or cheap...looks around for some Scarlett audio and butt pictures....

Hey! Does it have to be an RV? I am so not an RV girl...I think we might as well get a tour bus.

And frankly, I could probably commit small misdemeanors, pin them on people I we don't like and then y'all could solve them, collect the reward, wait for the statute of limitations to run out, write the book, sell the movie deal, take the money and run!

[playbiller]

I guess the important thing to remember about boards is that they seesaw and this too shall pass.

Concentrate on the important stuff.

[Thankful4Clay]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

We can pre-order Clay's CD on Amazon:

Clay's CD on Amazon

[playbiller]

DON't DO it!!!!! wait to order PLEASE!!!!

Right now, it doesn't matter, but in a month or so when others know it is out there it will matter. Please Please don't order now!!

[ialreadyam]

PermaSwooned I think you need a :thbighug-1:

[jmh123]

Wow. My teenager and I just watched two local network affiliates on television cover an impromptu 'walk out' that the two high schools in our town organized today. Evidently, our esteemed Governor's budget cuts in education funding has pissed off some kids in our district. The cuts mean elimination or reduction of some school sports, music programs and AP classes. Great. California is already about 48th out of 50 states in overall test scores, etc.

So, according to the news report and my daughter, after a school district meeting last night that a lot of student leaders attended and participated in, a bunch of text messaging happened this morning after attendance was taken (since schools receive funding per student, based on attendance! BWAH!), the kids started with the "get to ______ High School ( my daughter's and also the building where school district offices are) to let people know we care and want change! So hordes of students from teh other high school at the other end of our island town descended on Alex's school and congregated in the auditorium.

The school district superintendent left her offices and joined the group on stage, as did teachers, parents and students. The supt. said the only way things could be saved is a parcel tax that would add about $125 per year to property taxes. Somebody was interviewed and said, "I don't know what these kids think they can change...they're just idealistic."

Then a student leader (a guy) answered and said, "If young people throughout our history believed that, we'd be living in a far different kind of country that we are right now." One of the video clips showed one girl on stage saying, "If you want to make a difference, volunteer to go door to door and ask your neighbors to support the schools. Write your congressman, senator, the governor!" That girl is the goalie on Alex's soccer team.

Wow.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell them this is so admirable, and it's great that they were inspired to act to keep these essential elements of their education. Love it.

Perma, just know that sometimes you'll read something at FCA that will offend your sensitivity, and you won't see a whole lot of protests about it either. I want you to be warned so you aren't caught off guard. Criticizing Clay isn't a focus, but it will happen, and now and then you'll read something that you don't like. We do sometimes fight and disagree too. Sometimes there's drama. It isn't perfect here. The way the mods handle things here is really different, which is, they intervene as little as possible. People are supposed to mod themselves (not other people) and a huge percentage of the time that is exactly what happens. I think a post has been edited or deleted once ever, no twice, because there was the crazy real estate agent thing once--someone trying to start a false rumor. We have no secret threads. When I got here, under similar circumstances, I was just full of squelched things I wanted to say, and I could say them here. But if someone ever reads here and feels their board is being dissed, let me say we are not mean spirited here. We do rag and snark on moods or attitudes or trends in the fandom, and boards come up sometimes when one of them is going through some typical board meltdown and some people just don't feel that their needs are being met and they need shelter, and sometimes people vent here. I found after awhile that this place felt most like home, but I honestly can say that each board has its good and bad qualities, and none, including this one, is perfect. Sometimes you're just better suited to one group of people than another, but even here, now and then, you're going to read something you don't like.

But we are more special than most. Heh. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

I say don't order the CD now unless you plan to order again later too.

[FromClaygary]

SO not caught up but HAVE pre-ordered my CD from Amazon, and thought y'all might like a little laugh:

Subject: Buying a Swimsuit.......a compulsory read

This is a true story written by a woman in England to her friend after

a swimsuit shopping expedition.

I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and

humiliation known as buying a bathing suit.

When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for a woman with a

mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure. Boned,

trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn, as engineered. They were built

to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a

figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice; she can

either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a

skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's

Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of the-mill department store

trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of

fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice

and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first

thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch

material.

The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed I believe, by NASA to

launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if

you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark

attacks. The reason for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your

passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash!

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder

strap in place, I gasped in horror - my bosom had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took

a while to find the other. At last I located it, flattened beside my

seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature

woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed hump!

I realigned my speed hump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately, it

only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it!

The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I

looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap. As I tried

to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the pre-pubescent

sales girl popped her head through the curtains. "Oh there you are!" she

said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked

what else she had to show me.

I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of

masking tape, and a floral two-piece which gave the appearance of an

oversized napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard

skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane

pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish

in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg, I

though I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them!

Finally, I found a suit that fitted, ... a two-piece affair with a

shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap,

comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had

had a successful outcome.

When I got home, I found a label that said, "Material will become

transparent in water."

[skybar22]

DON't DO it!!!!! wait to order PLEASE!!!!

Right now, it doesn't matter, but in a month or so when others know it is out there it will matter. Please Please don't order now!!

I'm not sure I follow this reasoning right now. I think there may be a reason it is up on Amazon and that if people hold back on ordering it might show that people have lost interest. I understand your concerns but I think people should just do what they want and not try to manipulate things.

[ldyjocelyn]

Has anyone heard from couchie today? I'm a bit worried for her....

Everyone should do what they want to do regarding the pre-order of Clay's next album. However, I do follow play's logic -- IMO, it should be a slow and steady build-up to the release (I've been taking lessons from muski, did I do good?). Mass pre-orders now, followed by very little? I don't think that builds quite the impression that many of us want.

muski, that is so great about the young people at your daughter's school. They rock.

FromClaygary -- BWAH!

BTW, I lurve jmh a LOT.