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#17: The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Couch Tomato

By Couch Tomato
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Thread Title Poll  

70 members have voted

  1. 1. What should be the next thread title on the FCA board?

    • .ni tif ot ecin os s'tI. driew adink lla er'uoy kniht I.
      10
    • There's a soft rawness to his tone.
      2
    • He has always had the VOICE! But, boy has he ever learned to use his instrument!
      21
    • He's like a chameleon in a kaleidoscope.
      15
    • Let Clay Aiken take you back.
      9
    • I volunteer to polish his balls for him. I bet that would make his putter stand up on end.
      2
    • Blog me Baby!!!
      9
    • I am no-account cover lover.
      2

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Ansamcw Baby Sitter

Ansamcw

Posted
Posted
"Claymate" never had any negative connotations for me. I can see that some might view it as a feminine term, so perhaps it isn't as inclusive as say, "Clay Nation," but personally, I find the "Playboy Playmate" association is a rather strained one that scarcely anyone outside the fandom really thinks about. My guess is that for most, it's just a play on words.

I suppose a "Claymate" might be perceived as more die-hard than a mere "Clay fan," just as a "Trekker/ie" might be perceived as more committed than a basic "Star Trek fan." However, to me, other terms like "Clay Nation," or "Clayniac" also carry such impact, but one rarely sees anyone rail against those uses. And honestly, any derision directed at someone for being a "Claymate" would be the same if they identified themselves as a "Clayniac," a member of "Clay Nation," or even just a "Clay fan."

I guess I've never completely understood the fury some have with the word "Claymate." I've seen posters who wrote e-mails to the press condemning its use in articles, and even seen anger at Clay for using it in interviews, as if it's an insulting or even dangerous term.

IMHO, of all the things in the world one can get upset about, why waste energy on that?

I have a similar reaction. I do understand WHY people hate the term and why it would get peoples back up a bit. That is why I also prefer not to use it. I just do not relate to the EXTREME reactions to this word. I guess just as in a lot of things about Clay and the Clay world I am totally mellow.

Its a beautiful day today...but I am feeling blah...just tired...its that time of the month ya know....what a waste of sunshine.

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Couch Tomato Baby Sitter

Couch Tomato

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Yep, I'm too shy.

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

The thing about the internet - it let's you do and say all sorts of things you wouldn't normally. Now, me? I'm just this innocent in real life, rather prudish - definitely not smutty. But here, amongst friends?

I would do him on a stage

cuffs and whips? They're all the rage

In Hollywood or in the hood

New York, Raleigh, it's all good

heh

ETA eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I love tweetie bird.

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jmh123 Chairman

jmh123

Posted
Posted (edited)

I would do him head to toe

I would do him nice and slow

I would do him with my feet

I would do him in the heat

In the heat nice and slow

With my feet, oh oh oh.

I would do him in a tree

I would do him, yes, with glee!

I would do him, it's contagious

I would do him, it's outrageous

With glee, yes, in a tree

I would do Clay, wanna see?

Edited by jmh123
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luckiest1 Stylist

luckiest1

Posted
Posted

Alright, fine.

I would do him in the dark

I would do him in the park

In the dark, in the park, what a lark!

I'd do him in Kalamazoo

Everyone else could do him too!

He'd be tired, he'd be sore

But what he wouldn't be is bored!

I suck so bad at this.

Back to spreadsheets.

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sunburstoflight car washer

sunburstoflight

Posted
Posted (edited)

garsh! :blush: well... thanks so much for all the birthday wishes! i'll get my ass into gear and start posting, i s'pose! maybe a little game of catch-up?

- i used to hateeeeeeee the term claymate. although i don't hate it as much as i did when the name first started to circulate around the fandom. now? meh. i'm a clay aiken fan. people can label with whatever name they want, i guess. i'm a claymate, claynadian (oh god i can't believe i just typed that), claywhore, clayaikenloveromghe'ssosexySQUEEEPEEEEE, whatevs. i just like that clay aiken kid. call me whatever you'd like. ;)

- love the poems! :cryingwlaughter:

- happy anniversary to anybody who celebrates it today! i know i share my birthday with a ton of anniversaries offline so i'm not suprised people here are celebrating as well!

this?

My daughter E. (I refuse to refer to her as jamlet...*g*) is off visiting her friend who works on Broadway. He knew about these show lotteries they do. Not clear if they are just for performers in other shows or open to anyone. Anywho...yesterday after she arrived they went down and put in for some shows...and won the right to buy two front row seats to Wicked for $25.00!!!!!!!

I haven't spoken to her yet today to hear how she liked it but damn...where'd she get that kind of luck? I may have her try for my Clay tickets the next time.

... makes me JELLUS! i love me some wicked. i've seen it three times alone in the last two years and would see it again in a heart-beat! hope she had a great time!

Edited by sunburstoflight
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Bookwhore personal manager

Bookwhore

Posted
Posted (edited)

Has anyone used these yet?

I would do him in a tree,

I'd do him down on bended knee.

I would do him head to toe

'Cuz I'm a ClayBitch, don't you know?

I'd do him everyway I can,

Until his gasps, "NOW I'm a man!"

....I'd come up with a better finish if I wasn't on my lunchbreak. I need to go back and catchup....

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

ETA: I just love this board for its intelligent discourse and exchange of brilliant ideas. :)

Edited by Bookwhore
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jazzgirl body guard

jazzgirl

Posted
Posted
And this is totally original too!

To do, or not to do--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the body to suffer

<snip>

To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, (Rubbing is good)

When he himself might his quietus make (My subconscious says these are all nice phallic symbols, so I'm leaving 'em alone).

KAndre bows to the fans of her literary plagarism genius...especially merrieeee!

Think of it as highbrow sampling!

Seriously funny stuff here, especially, the "ay, there's the rub". :cryingwlaughter::clap:

OK, possible thread titles:

Oh, the places you can go with Seuss, Shakespeare, and Poe! (that even rhymes!)

Madwomen and Claymates run wild! (that's a take-off on mad dogs and Englishmen)

Stop the thread, I want to get off! (that speaks for itself)

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wandacleo Executive Producer

wandacleo

Posted
Posted

I would do him for a fee.

While you sluts would do him free!

I would charge him by the inch

So getting rich would be a cinch.

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muskifest Stylist

muskifest

Posted
Posted (edited)
I'd do him in Mickey D's.

Fries with that, sir, if you please.

No need to order extra fries

Clay comes already SuperSized.

(thanks to KarenEh for the setup for that one...)

ETA: changed the Clay comes line...heh...to give it more rhythm...heh.

Edited by muskifest
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Guest Toots

Guest Toots

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'd do him the kitchen

I'd do him until he's twitchin

I'd do him the pool

I'd do him till we drool

I'd do him in the brushes

I'd do him until he blushes

Will this ever stop

Lordy I hope not

I'd do him a bunch

I'd do him with lunch

Edited by Toots
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Guest Toots

Guest Toots

Posted
Posted

I'd do him loaded

I'd do him bloated

Now see, I draw the line at this one. When I'm "loaded" (which happens very infrequently, I might add), I usually can't remember a thing. If I'm doing Clay, I want to remember it, damn it. And me bloated would probably not be a good thing for Clay, if you know what I mean.

Ewwwwww....I just squicked myself out....

Anyone think that any of these Seussicals might make a good thread title? And I'm like aikim -- even as a librarian, who is supposed to be all literate and shit, I can't do these things if I had to.

Happy birthday sunburstoflight! :balloons:

Good point ldyj!

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wandacleo Executive Producer

wandacleo

Posted
Posted

I was going to suggest that we compile these little "poems" into a book for a BAF fundraiser, but I was afraid I'd go to hell.

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KAndre Chairman

KAndre

Posted
Posted
I would do him for a fee.

While you sluts would do him free!

I would charge him by the inch

So getting rich would be a cinch.

:lmaosmiley-1:

And I thought I didn't like poetry!

Book schmook - this needs to be set to music!

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zena body guard

zena

Posted
Posted (edited)
Zena, I see you down there. Come out and play with us. Tell KAndre that you are being a good custodian of her sword. These are important things that the eHP need to know.

Would someone do me.....a favor? Keep the Seuss doins' going until morning when my brain wakes up again? I want to play, too, but right now I'd can only do him in my dreams.

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

The thing about the internet - it let's you do and say all sorts of things you wouldn't normally. Now, me? I'm just this innocent in real life, rather prudish - definitely not smutty. But here, amongst friends?

Okay.....Zena teeters on the edge of insanity; (the good kind, of course.)

With Karen Eh?'s enabling, and Couch Tomato's permission, here goes nothing....

Is This a Dagger that I see before meeeeeeeeeeeee.................

one hot and steamy houston night,

i came to visit my adored.

muski got the sabre light,

but ehp gave me the sword.

i spouted shakespeare

in delight!

do you remember, k'andre, dear,

the princess you awoke that night?

morphing into suess mode..........

ahhhh, if he touched me with his sword,

i would do him 'til he roared.

it might be somewhat awkward upon the festive board

but i would horizontal holler, "All aboarrrrd....".

i'd gladly give all i could afford,

my jewels, my paypal, AND my tractor,

if i could cease to be ignored,

and be well done by my gorgeous benefactor.

but alas i have not thus yet scored,

the plastic dagger i have put away and stored.

this makeshift princess has duly fallen on her sword,

and died. Without her reward.

sadly crowns do not become me,

perhaps, this is just as well,

cause heads often roll for royalty.

and me, i don't have anything unique to sell.

yeah, i am who i am,

but damn.

sometimes, i wish i wasn't.

from da zenafobe among you. :andthetruth:

*writes "I will behave and put family before Clay" 100 times*

I decided not to go to Vegas yesterday. :crying1:

But luckiest1, i'm well into my fifth page of lines. I'm becoming quite a non compliant character when it comes to re-arranging my priorities..... hee hee. Oh, and did I mention I seem to have lost my conscience somewhere along the line with regard to chasing off to Clay events. My family has an APB out for it. :laught31:

:goaround:

Edited by zena
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keldanker body guard

keldanker

Posted
Posted
I would do him for a fee.

While you sluts would do him free!

I would charge him by the inch

So getting rich would be a cinch.

Okay, wandacleo, you win. Who can possibly top that? (Although I give honorable mention to the McDonald's verse).

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wandacleo Executive Producer

wandacleo

Posted
Posted
Talk about creativity! Wandacleo, you win.

You seem to know a lot about how to charge for this stuff though....just sayin'. :cryingwlaughter:

How else could I pay for all these concert tickets????

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zena body guard

zena

Posted
Posted

zena throws caution to the wind, and waves madly at Scarlett, with fond memories of her virgin Knoxville busline. Do you remember me? Do you? Yeah, the one with the sword in the back of her dress. Well, yes, I did have to conceal it more thoroughly to be allowed into the venue, well, just as long as you remember me.

:sickyet:

Thanks soo very much for all the thoroughly wonderful memories in technicolor.....I remember you with great fondness... :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Counts up to five on her fingers. Sighs, and tries to think kindly about being a dogwalker forever.

:thsign27:

hmmm, why do i feel like the dog here?

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Kareneh body guard

Kareneh

Posted
Posted (edited)
zena throws caution to the wind, and waves madly at Scarlett, with fond memories of her virgin Knoxville busline. Do you remember me? Do you? Yeah, the one with the sword in the back of her dress. Well, yes, I did have to conceal it more thoroughly to be allowed into the venue, well, just as long as you remember me.

She's here...she's here!!! Yipeeee!! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Just for clarity, I'd like to point out that the sword we gave her.....in the back of her dress.....ran parallel to her spine, not perpendicular, as some might expect.......coming from the eHP and all that.

Welcome .....and all aboard is right, Princess Zena.

Edited by Karen Eh?
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