#36: It ain't my life, just my passion!

[Couch Tomato]

I think in the beginning the word "fraility" is what I had a hard time with, because to me it is a feminine word...and while I could definately hear a woman singing those words, it was difficult for me to hear a man sing it...maybe If I hadn't known the song was written by a woman, it would not have bothered me so much...but I do think songs can be "male" and "female" and from the beginning this was a "female" song to me...a song that should be sung by a woman. But like I said, after listening to it everyday since May 6th, I have come to love it and I guess one of the reasons (and I know there will be a lot of eye-rolling and gagging when I say this), but once the baby news broke, I could definately hear him singing it to Jaymes...never got the God connection to the song. It just makes more sense to me now.

Kim

None from me. AIKim I think I gave all the songs a listen through different ears a few times when you now... IIU hee.

I didn't listen to anybody else singing any of these songs and I'm glad I didn't. I love all but two and I like those I'm sure Clay will make me love them when he sings it live like he has done almost every other song.

and had to grin at your listening every day since May. My ipod has been really acting up now that my warrantly has run out. Always have the sad little dead battery sign. I didn't think it was coming back this time but yay, it's back..so I can add my walmart extra that I never put in... and the clannah...

[Iseeme]

Well I responded to Kim's post in a pm because I didn't want to get into the Clay/Jaymes thing again on the board. ALL I said was I wasn't ready to deal with the possibility they have an offspring in the offing. We STILL don't know if its true. I'm not saying it couldn't be or that I would be grossed out if it was.....I still don't understand it, but I'm certainly not saying it shouldn't be. Please don't misinterpret my post and take off on a lengthy discussion as a result of that misinterpretation. I'm in a holding pattern - personally - on the subject!!!! However the situation is resolved.....I will be fine with it.

If it ISN'T about God, than Clay is obviously either a great actor or he is thinking of someone special to him....but it could be his mother or his brother or Jerome or Raleigh or Durham. Who knows!!!

I didn't think about the Billy Bush interview but that makes alot of sense. Billy WAS pushing him and saying it was about God shut him up!!!

[DurhamClayfan]

When I said he could be singing it to a lover, I didn't really mean "just" a lover but someone he is in love with. Clay even mentioned in an interview that some people think about a lover when they hear TRM.

[Ansamcw]

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY gbmifan - SO happy to hear your test result came back fine!!!

Aikim - I guess it does depend on first impressions. I just can't see anything gender-specific about this song. And...I must admit your eye-rolling and gagging is kind of happening here! I think I'm not ready to think about that whole scenario as true yet.

Yeah, I almost didn't write the part about Jaymes, because I knew the reaction I would get, but perhaps you can explain to me why it is easier to except them as friends having a baby than as a couple having a baby? It seems to be an issue for a lot in the fandom and I just don't understand it.

Kim

Kim ....I can definitely see this applying to Jaymes and Clay but really in more of a profound friendship. Now I don't have a problem with the possibility of a romantic relationship between the two of them. But I just never saw that kind of attraction from Clay to Jaymes. I can see that she is a very special person to him...just like Quiana is special to him. I know I am kinda basing it on very subjective tenuous things...but I always saw a different kind of sexual chemistry between Clay and Angela for example...and clay and Tyra. With Quiana, Christie and Jaymes I really never observed the same chemistry with Clay. I just think Clay iss a bit too comfortable with them...like being with a sibling. BUT...I COULD BE WRONG...won't be the first time. If I am and there is a romantic connection...then good for them!

[muskifest]

I won't go into detail, but when he sings "reveal me completely" my mind is not pure! LOL

Oh yes you are going to fit in here real well!!!

Ah, but merrieee, it's obvious she's still a rookie or she WOULD go into detail! But I have faith in you, LonelyNoMore!

From the beginning, this part - - -

Painted on, life is behind the mask

Self-inflicted circus clown

I'm tired of the song and dance

Living a charade, always on parade

Has always made me wonder if he relates to that since he so often uses humor to deflect. Anyway, I love this song and I agree with whoever - was it couchie? - said about frailty and vulnerability and Clay never clinging to stereotypes. I don't get any gender-specific vibe. I just think of human frailty. *shrugs*

Loooooong, slooooow day at work. Then it got a little weird/interesting towards the end. Not certain, but there's a chance I might be winging my way to your neck of the woods Bay Area FCA'ers around July 20-25...

annabear, those lyrics you referred to---as soon as I heard them I thought of a college friend of mine who shocked the shit out of me one day some years after graduation by telling me that every time she hears the song "Tears of a Clown" she thinks of ME!

People say I'm the life of the party

Cause I tell a joke or two

Outside I might be laughing loud and hearty

But deep inside I'm blue.

A rather sobering thing to hear from a good friend, I must say....

Oh, and about your visit to the Bay Area? Oh, COUCHIE? What's happening July 20-25th? Oh, wait! I'll be away through the 21st but around here 22-24th but working my arse off so that I can then take off for ten days on vacation!

gbmifan---Great, great news! I rescheduled my mammogram appt for this Thursday afternoon. :headbangerf:

[laljeterfan]

From the beginning, this part - - -

Painted on, life is behind the mask

Self-inflicted circus clown

I'm tired of the song and dance

Living a charade, always on parade

Has always made me wonder if he relates to that since he so often uses humor to deflect. Anyway, I love this song and I agree with whoever - was it couchie? - said about frailty and vulnerability and Clay never clinging to stereotypes. I don't get any gender-specific vibe. I just think of human frailty. *shrugs*

He seems to reference this part of the lyrics fairly often when talking about the songs on the CD, so I do think that it resonates with him. I kind of relate it to a "Tears of a Clown" kind of thing, in a way- you're putting on this brave face for the world, when inside you may be in pain. I just found that WRAL interview too, where he briefly discussed the song in terms of celebrity, but I'm still thinking there was another interview where it was more clear-cut. And thank you, cotton, for the bit of the interview about the song. I was pretty sure he had said that the writer changed the words for him.

gbmifan- great news!!! Glad you can relax now!

Well, crap, muski - I'm a day late and a dollar short with my profound insight on "Tears of a Clown"!

[Couch Tomato]

Well I responded to Kim's post in a pm because I didn't want to get into the Clay/Jaymes thing again on the board. ALL I said was I wasn't ready to deal with the possibility they have an offspring in the offing. We STILL don't know if its true. I'm not saying it couldn't be or that I would be grossed out if it was.....I still don't understand it, but I'm certainly not saying it shouldn't be. Please don't misinterpret my post and take off on a lengthy discussion as a result of that misinterpretation. I'm in a holding pattern - personally - on the subject!!!! However the situation is resolved.....I will be fine with it.

Iseeme you're not being tomoatoed ... the clay/jaymes thing ain't going away for good until you know we know something in all liklihood.

yay annabear... I hope you do come this way!! Keep me posted!

Hi Asheleysgram!!

thanks for sharing the good news gbmifan!

[FromClaygary]

Canadian Idol: Is this screened in the USA at the same time as Canada? A friend has sent me a link to download the top 24.

Claytonic, just adding to the begging to make your quotes a little larger, please, so that we can actually read them!

....and, more's the pity.....Canadian Idol is not seen at ANY time in the US.

Which I think is a shame, because it looks like it's going to be very good this year. I believe our goldarngirl is capping and vaulting, though, if someone wants it.

It's not just the performances that make it better; to my mind...it's like AI SHOULD be.

[Cotton]

I noticed that in the original NG lyrics, it was

"No need to mask my frailty".

And in Clay's version is

"No need to hold back my frailty".

I like "hold back". I think "holding things inside" is completely different from "masking" or "pretending". "Pretending" to be someone he's not is something that some have accused him of. I don't think he pretends to be something he's not. But I do think he holds himself in, holds back. Protects himself.

The "don't let them see you sweat", "don't show your weakness" that, really, most men do, don't you think?

Yes, I think he feels he's on parade - and maybe sometimes has on his "game face" or mask. After all, he does have to "seem" to be having a good time even if he's feeling crappy, or mad as hell at something or someone. That's part of being in the public eye, right?

But - God - or some really close friends, or his Mom - or Jaymes, even - he can show his real self to. Show his temper. Show his sadness, or hurt.

We all need someone we can strip it all away with emotionally, and not always be PC or polite. Clayton Grissom Aiken - warts and all.

Self-inflicted circus clown - possibly my favorite line from the whole CD!!!

[Ansamcw]

And it's entirely possible since the verse was changed that they simply printed them wrong on the liner notes. I hope pray suppose we'll know for sure when he sings it to meeeee in concert!

Which I am keeping my fingers crossed will be this fall

oh claygirl...I hope so too...but I really don;t think so. If its fall we should be hearing more about it by now there doesn;t seem to be enough time to get ready. At this point I think it may be late winter or spring....

I do hope he gets to do a tour this year...

[Claygasm]

You people are too chatty! Its hard to catch up after a long day at work!!

But it does go faster when I see some are mentioning the RUMOR-THAT-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED that I avoid liket the plague!!

Tom Hanks? Love him. Loved Bosom Buddies! That show was hilarious! But then again, I LOVE the snowflake pictures too!

Using a Clay song in a political YouTube? Not crazy about it. The fact is, the general public may ASSUME the singer endorses the candidate. I suppose the way to solve that is to put a disclaimer at the beginning saying that the use of this song in no way is meant to imply the singer or songwriter endorses the candidate. I do think that should be added. Controversy solved, but Clay's songs still get out there.

TRM? Gosh, its been so long since I listened to it (or any of the CD for that matter....Bad Clay Fan! :thdom2:) that I had to go back and see what I said about during the listening party. I'll stick by what I said then:

I see this as another song of triumph over adversity. Be it God or his mother or his friends or the love a good woman he was lost and now he's found.

I'm loosening my grasp

No need to hold back my frailty

'Cause you see the real me

Is there any better feeling than being able to truly be yourself - warts and all - with someone? Its like freedom. Its like someone lets you breathe.

Did I miss anything that was discussed???

[DurhamClayfan]

I'm going to mention one more thing before I go to bed.

Maybe we didn't see a spark between Clay and Jaymes because Clay didn't want us to. I can see Clay trying to keep his love life a secret. I think he wants to protect his love ones from the media. I don't know if Clay and Jaymes are in a romantic relationship, but it's a posibility. It's also a possibility that the whole thing is not true.

Good night everyone! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Cotton]

About the song being to a love( r ) or to God or to Mom, etc.

I remember hearing - sometime between the first time he talked about it - with Linda Loveland - and the later interviews - that word was circulating amongst those with - er - an agenda - that this was his "coming out" song.

Sheesh!

That's when I think he started talking about Natalie Grant and the song being to God. Put a roadblock on that shit right quick!

[Ansamcw]

I noticed that in the original NG lyrics, it was

"No need to mask my frailty".

And in Clay's version is

"No need to hold back my frailty".

I like "hold back". I think "holding things inside" is completely different from "masking" or "pretending". "Pretending" to be someone he's not is something that some have accused him of. I don't think he pretends to be something he's not. But I do think he holds himself in, holds back. Protects himself.

The "don't let them see you sweat", "don't show your weakness" that, really, most men do, don't you think?

wow great insight. I think you hit it on the nail...

Yes, I think he feels he's on parade - and maybe sometimes has on his "game face" or mask. After all, he does have to "seem" to be having a good time even if he's feeling crappy, or mad as hell at something or someone. That's part of being in the public eye, right?

But - God - or some really close friends, or his Mom - or Jaymes, even - he can show his real self to. Show his temper. Show his sadness, or hurt.

We all need someone we can strip it all away with emotionally, and not always be PC or polite. Clayton Grissom Aiken - warts and all.

Self-inflicted circus clown - possibly my favorite line from the whole CD!!!

yup....as chatty as he is...I do beleive he is one of the most private persons I know. Thats why I think at this point...he probably is dreaming about an anonymous life...

[KAndre]

A tad sidetracked but wanted to get my two cents in on Real...if it wasn't Clay singing it, I would happily never listen to it again. And I really dislike his whisper-singing in the beginning (almost as much as I disliked it during MGUCW this past year...sing, boy...SING!).

Too much poetic type stuff for my taste, the writer just seemed to be trying too hard. I like the way he sings the last half though. I don't skip it, but don't replay it.

[Iseeme]

Awww Couchie - you're using my word!!!!!! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

I didn't feel tomatoed.....just didn't want my post to be misinterpreted....which it was, of course, naturally, what's new, yada! yada!

I think it's in each and every one of us (whoa! that would be good lyrics for a song....hee!) to find something in this song, extrapolate a look or a glance or a smile or a circumstance and make it into a nice story! But until I hear it from Clay's beautiful, perfectly perfect lips..........it's just a "nice story" and that's how I'm approaching this whole subject. We've shipped him with Angela based on looks, actions, smiles, glances, humping, whatever. Some have shipped him with Jamie, Tyra, Hannah with looks, actions, smiles, glances and who knows about humping or whatever. Clay is a chameleon with 1000 faces. We're a fanbase with 1,000,000 different interpretations of everything he does.

Like someone said a few weeks ago - until he starts singing through Waldo, I don't care what he does with him!!!! But I don't want to think about it until there's proof!!!! Either that or I wish like hell I was 50 again and knew something about music!! :lmaosmiley-1:

[laljeterfan]

I noticed that in the original NG lyrics, it was

"No need to mask my frailty".

And in Clay's version is

"No need to hold back my frailty".

I like "hold back". I think "holding things inside" is completely different from "masking" or "pretending". "Pretending" to be someone he's not is something that some have accused him of. I don't think he pretends to be something he's not. But I do think he holds himself in, holds back. Protects himself.

The "don't let them see you sweat", "don't show your weakness" that, really, most men do, don't you think?

Yes, I think he feels he's on parade - and maybe sometimes has on his "game face" or mask. After all, he does have to "seem" to be having a good time even if he's feeling crappy, or mad as hell at something or someone. That's part of being in the public eye, right?

But - God - or some really close friends, or his Mom - or Jaymes, even - he can show his real self to. Show his temper. Show his sadness, or hurt.

We all need someone we can strip it all away with emotionally, and not always be PC or polite. Clayton Grissom Aiken - warts and all.

Self-inflicted circus clown - possibly my favorite line from the whole CD!!!

Excellent analysis! I think he has mentioned something along the lines of the "never let them see you sweat' thing more than once. In LTS, he talked about what he would do if he were on stage and people were to boo him. He said that he would just keep going, sing even louder. He wouldn't break. He also said that when he was bullied as a kid, he wasn't going to let them see him cry.

As far as being on parade- I remember him saying before that in his job, he's always "on'- even when he's not on stage performing, even if he's just out pumping gas- he's still "Clay Aiken"- and anyone who runs into him is going to have expectations of him. Geez, every word out of his mouth is parsed and dissected and analyzed and often given meaning that I'm sure he never intended. Can you imagine how hard that must be? So, yeah, it must be a relief to be around people- friends, family, who know and love you- warts and all. (geez, I apparently don't have a single unique thought in my head tonight- sorry for copping this phrase from you, CG!)

[rohdy]

gbmifan.....add my YAY! to the stack! So glad there was a happy ending to that chapter!

[Ansamcw]

A tad sidetracked but wanted to get my two cents in on Real...if it wasn't Clay singing it, I would happily never listen to it again. And I really dislike his whisper-singing in the beginning (almost as much as I disliked it during MGUCW this past year...sing, boy...SING!).

Too much poetic type stuff for my taste, the writer just seemed to be trying too hard. I like the way he sings the last half though. I don't skip it, but don't replay it.

Hee I was going to add in my earlier post that I love his soft voice and that I was sure you hated it...hee I was right!!!!

love ya!!!

[Couch Tomato]

I honestly don't think Clay has his ear that close to the ground Cotton. I could be wrong though. And I don't think he works at trying to prove people what he is or isn't.

lonelynomore...I agree with you.

hee iseeme..I think claytonic needs to add it to her list. heee

KAndre...you know how much I didn't like that MGUCL last Xmas..who was it that I pinched when the trio sang it at the last show. WHOO HOOO..ooh something else to add to the ipod ....but for me it works so well on this song. Where you been anyway...who cares about real life... I notice when you aren't hear making me laugh!!

[Belle6827]

Hello

I found this board quite by accident recently and started to lurk. Some of you may know me by the same screen name at the Clayboard. As I was skimming through the thread this evening, I saw a mention of something and I thought I would respond to it.

The link about " American Idol - Clay's Revenge" and folks were wondering what it was. The small town where the auditions are being held is very close to where I live. On the evening that Clay

was at the Snowflake Lighting, I attened a dinner theater at a local fire company. The evening I attended the play was a "who dunnit" type of production and the theme was based on the Judge Judy Show on television. When I read my playbill/program, I saw a listing of dinner shows to be held in the future. One of those was "AI - Clay's Revenge". It was listed for a date in the coming spring. When spring arrived, I never saw that particular show advertised anywhere. I believe this recent announcement of auditions is the very same production company that presented the "Judge Judy" show I attended. I just think they are now getting around to preparing for the "AI Clay's Revenge" show which I saw advertised a while back. Hope this helps clear it up. Gee, I have some acting experience. Perhaps I should audition and then I can get the scoop on the whole story line.

Other than that, sorry I barged into the discussion at hand.

[Ansamcw]

I see this as another song of triumph over adversity. Be it God or his mother or his friends or the love a good woman he was lost and now he's found.

I'm loosening my grasp

No need to hold back my frailty

'Cause you see the real me

Is there any better feeling than being able to truly be yourself - warts and all - with someone? Its like freedom. Its like someone lets you breathe.

Love this too CG...thanks for bringing it over...you were on fire interpreting the lyrics during that listening party. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Ansamcw]

Hello

I found this board quite by accident recently and started to lurk. Some of you may know me by the same screen name at the Clayboard. As I was skimming through the thread this evening, I saw a mention of something and I thought I would respond to it.

The link about " American Idol - Clay's Revenge" and folks were wondering what it was. The small town where the auditions are being held is very close to where I live. On the evening that Clay

was at the Snowflake Lighting, I attened a dinner theater at a local fire company. The evening I attended the play was a "who dunnit" type of production and the theme was based on the Judge Judy Show on television. When I read my playbill/program, I saw a listing of dinner shows to be held in the future. One of those was "AI - Clay's Revenge". It was listed for a date in the coming spring. When spring arrived, I never saw that particular show advertised anywhere. I believe this recent announcement of auditions is the very same production company that presented the "Judge Judy" show I attended. I just think they are now getting around to preparing for the "AI Clay's Revenge" show which I saw advertised a while back. Hope this helps clear it up. Gee, I have some acting experience. Perhaps I should audition and then I can get the scoop on the whole story line.

Other than that, sorry I barged into the discussion at hand.

Hey Welcome!!!

Oh don;t worry about barging in with another topic...everyone does it... we are pretty casual about what we talk about here.

thanks for the info...and hope you can tell us more about it...

[gbmifan]

Thanks everyone. Should be a interesting day working the Buick Open tomorrow, reported that Kid Rock will be playing with John Daly, I wonder what his fans will be like. They are playing in the afternoon when I am working.

[laljeterfan]

Other than that, sorry I barged into the discussion at hand.

AWWWWW, you're welcome to interject any time! :F_05BL17blowkiss: