# 12 An Evening With His Royal Highness Fantasy Fodder

[Gibby]

They're both GORGEOUS, Cindilu! The green one is new to me. It's my new wallpaper! And it will be your fault when I'm staring at my computer screen and not getting anything done.

:F_05BL17blowkiss:

[ldyjocelyn]

The swag at the Tulsa party was fantastic....but I think the swag at the Houston party was much more clever. We got bags with Clay's picture on them. We got a small goody bag with two soaps and one small shower gel in it; the soaps each said "Be Squeaky Clean with Clay" and "As Clean as the Man Himself, Use Clay's Own Soap." The picture on each of these was, of course, the infamous Clay-in-bathtub-as-a-child picture. There was another little bag with an assortment of candies -- some of these having Clay's picture on them too. Everyone got a laminated poster of Clay -- mine was one of Karen Eh?'s Christmas pictures, but I also saw the 2006 AMA guy and Elvis Jukebox guy. Was this the swag bag that had the small picture frame in it? Mine had 2006 AMA guy in it (EEEEEEEEEEEE, loved that one). But IMO the best was the name tag:

Of course, it's on a leather strap. Mmmmm...Clay and leather....mmmmm...

Um, where was I? Oh yeah...the other great swag was the poster that was decorating the room:

So you don't all have to pull out your reading glasses (because we're all grannies, you know *g*), here's what it says:

____

WANTED: Clay "OMG" and/or "EEEE" Aiken

$10,000,000 Reward in Clay Nation Currency, Coinage or Clack

The crimes are listed as:

Clearly made promises with his eyes he doesn't keep

Teased numerous women unmercifully (enjoyment of such teasing is immaterial)

Believed to have stolen thousands, if not millions, of hearts

Forced many to only enjoy a higher standard of vocal ability

Emptied numerous bank accoutns (eager cooperation of "victims" is immaterial)

Refuses to provide individual concerts for every single fan worldwide

And then at the bottom, in small print:

Turn this "desparado" over to the evil Houston Posse as soon as poosible! Don't you worry about what we'll do with him. We guarantee we he will get our his just desserts...

___

I love this poster!

rcknrllmom, you should have found me! I would have introduced you to people!

[rcknrllmom]

I was trying to read tags....should have put on my glasses....lol

Oh I loved the bag from this one...the soaps and stuff had different sayings on them....they were great. my laminated pic was a Good News one, I think Kayla's was a long hair one...hmmmm she is at the movie, maybe I should go see....she plans on framing the wanted poster...

[bottlecap]

Hee. I think that little sparkling circle of metal has zipped a bunch of formerly 12-year-old fangirlies right through puberty and made them into a horde of horny 21-year-olds.

Respect the Power of the Rivet!

[muskifest]

Wish I would have actually met you all at the Houston pre party....I do adore my tiara though! lol....

kind of felt like an outsider there.....but it seemed like everyone was having great fun...I just didnt know anybody.....

rocknrlmom, I wish I'd known you were there! I was pretty tactless myself---just stared at people's name tags until one of us introduced ourselves! I knew SOME but certainly less than half the ones there....when's your next concert?

Going to dinner with the gang in Little Havana tonight...woot. The music that will be playing in whatever restaurant we go to will have me squirming in my seat like Clay does. Which, when I think of it is just fine because I'll be able to satisfy my oral fixation with food while squirming...

tmi, yes.

Went into the ocean and had to wear shorts over my swimsuit because it's so old that the material is stretched and worn in the back so thin you can see my butt crack through the material! Not a pretty sight. Oh well.

Gotta go. Hasta luego, amigas! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Gibby]

I'm lovin' all of the rivet pics. This one is courtesy of Invisibleson.

Edited July 11, 2007 by Gibby

[rcknrllmom]

Wish I would have actually met you all at the Houston pre party....I do adore my tiara though! lol....

kind of felt like an outsider there.....but it seemed like everyone was having great fun...I just didnt know anybody.....

rocknrlmom, I wish I'd known you were there! I was pretty tactless myself---just stared at people's name tags until one of us introduced ourselves! I knew SOME but certainly less than half the ones there....when's your next concert?

NEXT concert?????????? WAHHHHHHHHHH...probably wont be one...here is the deal.....sure adds to post concert let down....I have tickets offered to me to the CA venues...some very great deals...I have someone who will pick us up at the airport in LA, drive to each concert, we can stay in her hotel room and drive back. think it would be a no brainer huh? HA...not when I had to quit work to stay home with Jamie....i pretty much spent anything I had to go to Houston and Tulsa....and it was worth every single penny!! So airfare is keeping me from seeing him FOUR MORE times.....it is breaking my heart....but I am soooooooooo thankful I got to lust after him for those two days....dang he is purty.........

major big sigh...

why does that man always leave us wanting more............

[cindilu2]

Ha! Who made the Wanted poster? That's too funny, cuz this and this is my winning entry for the Clayboard member pass for the summer tour.

(and now I'm promise to stoping ho'ing for tonight *g*)

Thanks KarenEh and merrieeee and Gibby. I'm glad you like the wallpapers! Karen, you in particular are responsible for many of my most inspired moments. GAH! You take good pics my friend.

[beenthinking]

It sounds like everyone had a wonderful time. I love clever people, and Clay fans take first prize in that department.

Nice cowboy hat ldyjocelyn, it makes Clay look mighty fine. It is a big improvement over the hat he had on stage at the 4th concert...

Edited July 11, 2007 by beenthinking

[Ansamcw]

Aww rcknrllmom....I know how that feels. I certainly was too shy to aproach people on my one and only pre-party.

I think I will also be nervous of the one we will be going to in CA...I am glad I will have Couchie, CG and hopefully Muski in our group. Makes it less intimidating.

Too bad you can;t come to CA...we could really make sure we meet and you can join us in our winery trip...

but I do understand about the cost and family responsibility. I know I don;t think I can ever make two trips for Clay.

WOW what incredible swags!!! Clay fans sure are creative and generous. Makes me nervous about any future FCA parties...hee

welcome to main beenthinking!!!

[merrieeee]

Ldyj you forgot the Cheez Doodles!!!! They are the official snack of the eHP! We can travel the length........ahhh ... ok where was I...oh yes and breadth of this land if we have a goodly supply of them. Since we can't buy them in Texas we import them!!! So that makes then gourmet.

I have had more fun today with the boards. Hee! Clay provides us with more entertainment and he's not even here. God it's great to be a Clay fan with like minded souls!!!!!

[ldyjocelyn]

Oh God, how could I forget the Cheez Doodles?!?!?! I guess it's because I ATE them after the Tulsa show....I was hungry that night!

Yes, this has been an incredibly fun day on the boards.

[Carolina Clay]

Karen, you in particular are responsible for many of my most inspired moments. GAH! You take good pics my friend.

And I thank you both because your photos/graphics find their way into my blogs with great frequency and to the tune of many compliments!

Loving all the memories from the first three concerts!

Rcknrllmom, wish you could take advantage of those kind offers in CA; but I know what you mean about money. I need to win the lottery, PCH, or something! :eusa_whistle:

Have a great evening, all!

Caro

[Gibby]

Hey, all of you Harry Potter fans! I was able to get away for a short while today to see the new HP movie. I posted a quick review in the Watercooler section here at FCA.

[jmh123]

Rcknrllmom, I sympathize. I'm always like a fish out of water at big parties. I'm painfully shy around people I don't know well, no matter how much I like them and want to meet them. People tell me I don't appear to be shy, but I really am. I have the social skills of a lamp. That said, the only thing to do if you want to meet people is go around introducing yourself to everyone. I think people who already know each other have an advantage, but just being at one of these parties for me is a trip, and if you can hook up with a gregarious gang of folks to travel with, that helps too. So sorry that you can't afford to go to CA. Boo hoo. Unfair. I only got to go to one Christmas concert, and that was hard. I think of the folks like ansa who are so far away and can't get to many concerts at all--I've been very lucky. I'm tickled pink that she's getting to do the CA concerts this year. As we've all said so many times before, thank god for CLACK!!! :me0:

[playbiller]

And that is how I met Curious Gladys in Houston and the woman and her daughter from CB.

[bottlecap]

Okay, some upcoming M&G'ers really need to give this to Clay:

A BeDazzler =>

Plus the SUPER STUD SET =>

No crotch will ever need to be studless again... Wait, that doesn't sound quite right, does it?

[playbiller]

BWAH! Only you would come up with that.

And Hooray - I have wireless in my house now. So if I decide to go to bed with my computer, I can take my laptop upstairs.

[ldyjocelyn]

bottlecap -- I love you when you smut. The Bedazzler? Heh.

Yay for playbiller getting wireless!

Is it time for a few more of these?

Don't you just the love the high quality of my posts lately?

[treenuts]

Rcknrllmom, I can completely empathise with you. I tend to be more nervous and shy than I want to be in certain situations. I am also a stay at home mom now and I really can't even afford to drive down to LA this summer but I was determined to make this my one and only FIRST EVER concert at THE GREEK and I'm now beside myself. I will be taking my elderly mother so I probably won't have a chance to attend any pre-party or gatherings unfortunately.

But I am going and may even convert my SIL so it's all good!!!

----------

I do have this right nice and handy.....The Taco necklace we punked spot with.....I hope she absolutely adores it because I had such a hard time giving it up. Of course for 4 bucks I could get my own at Party Boys.

CMSU! I lost part of my Corona on the monitor when this scrolled by. I remember reading the story about this in spot's recap. BWAH

---------

Went into the ocean and had to wear shorts over my swimsuit because it's so old that the material is stretched and worn in the back so thin you can see my butt crack through the material! Not a pretty sight. Oh well.

Uh, thanks for that visual, muski.

shitshitshit! why do the quote thingys do this to me? I swear I must be the most inept technical person I kinda know

[jmh123]

Don't you just the love the high quality of my posts lately?

I do indeed. Time to decorate the page again.

[laughn]

Damn, bottlecap, I want to do the Bedazzling...I wouldn't want the man to have to do it himself! :eusa_whistle:

[merrieeee]

Just remember to keep the shiny side up and use a firm but gentle pressure.

[treenuts]

If you have not yet read spotlighlovers Tulsa tome (recap) you need to do so stat. I laughed so hard the tears are still streaming down my face. I would bring it over but figured it's pretty long. Well, not Clay long, but pretty long still. It's on page 42 @ the CH.

Edited July 12, 2007 by treenuts

[treenuts]

Oh what the hell...

RECAP BY SPOTLIGHTLOVER

Tulsa, OK - July 7

The "party plane" to Tulsa was run by Southwest. That's what you get, Clay, for not traveling with your own peeps. There were no incidents or shoves or wandering feet or G-men on OUR plane, no sireeee. Although now that I think about it, they probably would have had to call in the Feds on that flight too, if you'd been there. For a completely different kind of assault. Multiple assaults, more like. Okey-dokey, forget I even mentioned it.

Anyhoo, the Southwest flight attendants were only too aware of who they held hostage, and they spared no opportunity to work "Clay Aiken" into the one-sided conversation across the PA. Many "woo-hoos" were elicited. When we landed and the door finally unlatched, the head attendant said, "Love ya, mean it, get out." Gotta love Southwest. Clay would, I'm sure. If only they had first class and an iron gate on coach.

A hundred Clay fans on a plane together may sound like a fun idea. A hundred Clay fans arriving at the same hotel all at once is not. My group of six chose to pay the rather steep freight for a taxi, and that proved to be a smart decision. We arrived at the hotel long before the check-in time of 3 p.m., but we luckily got rooms right away. An hour later I went down to the lobby to see about a bazillion women queued up and ready to go all Clay Aiken fan on the poor Crowne Plaza check-in desk.

The monster party given by the OK Clay fans was quite a production. A huge room, set up with tables for 300 people, was plastered with every possible Clay picture imaginable in poster size. There were raffle items and silent auction items and a delicious Mexican-style buffet. A professional DJ mixed Clay tunes with other pop music. I had Clack to cook and didn't stay too long, but they did quite a job.

I thought it was extra-nice of Tulsa to publicly recognize my con-NEK-shun with CLAAAAYYY!!!

Part of the OK Clay fan package was a cute trolley car that shuttled us over to the Brady theater. Except for the accents and the heat and humidity and the cowboy boots and no fog, I felt like I was back in San Francisco.

The Brady theater is, um, historic, all right. Maybe pre-historic. A bit of a contrast, shall we say, to Jones Hall in Houston.

Our seats were folding chairs, with padded seats at least. The first few rows were seriously crammed up against the stage. Not that I'm complaining about my second-row aisle seat. I'm not sure exactly where the first row people put their knees. artquest was counting the fire exits on one-and-a-half fingers.

We spotted a chair three feet from us up against the stage, facing out. Ruh-roh. Sure enough, Mr. Ponytail Yellowshirt with a big "STAFF" across his chest came up and sat down. This was not the big staff I wanted to see. Yup, he was gonna sit there the entire night. *Sigh*. Oh well, what's he gonna do? Call the FBI? Maybe I should put my foot on his chair and see.

Clay was HAWT. Well, actually we all were, but on him it was attractive. He was especially feisty after the day he had. Unfortunately, so was the audience -- and not in a good way. Some people finally got fed up and starting shushing the yellers.

It always boggles my mind how these people are oblivious to the fact Clay is really putting them down when he talks back. I should have such chutzpah. Oh -- wait. Never mind. Well, at least I'm quiet about it. "If I was invisible...." Apparently -- I was. Heh.

Anyway, given the makeup of the audience, it was a small miracle, IMO, when Lover All Alone got exactly the same reception in Tulsa as in Houston. I was beyond amazed that everyone remained quiet throughout, even for those few precious seconds after the last note died away. It really speaks to the power of the song, and to Clay's delivery. I so hope he knows that. And that he stops calling the song "depressing". Haunting, poignant, achingly beautiful -- but not depressing. Not to me.

I'm just now watching the Clack and remembering specifics. Well, as much as you can remember from a one-inch one-eyed view. Let's just say I'm grateful for all the rivet photos. Usually Clay looks bigger through the zoom lens than my real eyes. This time, he was so close it was the other way around. When he leaned down to talk to Sean's teacher, I looked up over the viewfinder and nearly jumped, he was soooo close and sooooo big. (Down, you smutters.) When he talked to her off-mic, I could hear his real, unamplified voice. And so could my camera. *Swoon*.

And THE VOICE. Oh my god, the voice. I've never heard better than in Tulsa. Despite the theater being a pit, the sound in Tulsa was much better than in Houston and I could hear every riff, every wail. There were a couple of songs -- "When I See You Smile" and "A Thousand Days", maybe -- where I thought my insides were being split open. The effortless quality was back. The thrill in the tone was back. After witnessing his vocal struggles in late 2006, I rejoiced over the return of The Voice.

The show ended and I secured the preciousssssesss, feeling pretty much like the cat that swallowed the 800-lb canary. I wandered outside and commandeered the cellcert phone from KAndre for a bit. Then I noticed this huge line forming in back of the theater. Why not, I thought -- it's a pleasant night and I'm going home tomorrow.

I got in line in a huge circle that went all around the parking lot. Jerome came by once and babbled something I didn't understand. The crowd was calm and orderly. I had a lovely conversation about Clay with two very attractive teen-or-twenty-somethings. They were sweet, adorable, crazy for Clay, and had only seen him live once before. One of them was shocked because Clay had kinda missed that first falsetto jump in "Lover All Alone". "I've never heard Clay make a mistake before!" one exclaimed. "Oh honey," I said, "I've heard him make LOTS of mistakes. But that particular one was just a small lapse in concentration. He didn't have his breath ready for that note. But as you heard, he didn't make that mistake again." They were comforted.

"Do you think Clay has very many fans our age?", one of them asked me. *Snort*. "Well, you're asking kinda the wrong person," I ventured, "but I think he probably has more than you might think. It's just that they are not always as visible as we older fans are, because we have the time and money to travel to see him." Good answer, huh.

Email addresses were exchanged and DVDs promised. Never too much Clack out in the ether. We were near the end of the line, so I got my camera ready, thinking I'd have time to catch Clay coming around the circle before he got to me.

GBB called to ask about some sooper-sekrit stuff, and while I was chatting with her, I heard the 20 or so people to my right start to scream a bit, and before I knew it, there he was charging our way. He was in a white 52thirty polo shirt. His hair looked a bit askew, but it was dark and he passed quickly and I could barely see him. He backed up as fast as he could when he got to me, but by George I have long arms, and he didn't escape a quick touch, even though I was juggling the cellphone AND the camera.

"Higuysthanksfercominhiguysthanksfercominhiguysthanksfercomin..." He was gone in a flash. I put the phone back up to my ear and said, "Did you hear him?" I took the slightly strangled gurgling sound on the other end to mean "Yes".

He worked the circle of at least 150 people in about three minutes and was gone. We all floated away to our shuttles and cars, a group of very happy wimmen (some tacky, some not so much).

I floated into the bar at the hotel and took my first break from Clack since Frisco. It was great to just have a drink and relax and bask in the glow. Bask. Bask. I'm still basking. And I can't wait to go again.

Epilog

Nelle and I had quite the trip home. As our plane from Tulsa to Dallas was approaching landing, the pilot came on and informed us that "we've been advised there is a storm coming in -- imagine that..." and after we landed, we had to sit 150 feet out of the gate for about 20 minutes while a lightning threat passed. We got inside finally, arriving at gate C-14.

Remember that number. C-14. You will need it later.

We searched out the Skylink, which is a new train since I last navigated DFW, and went to our departure gate at A34. Just as we got there, we heard it announced that our flight had been moved to gate A-37. We trundled over three gates and sat down to wait. I got on the horn to CaliforniaClayFan and Nelle went to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, I see the entire herd of passengers in our waiting area rise and stampede off. I hang up the phone and am about to approach the desk, when I hear, "Once again, ladies and gentlemen, the San Jose flight has been relocated to ".....wait for it...."C-14".

There now. Didn't I tell you you'd need that number again?

When Nelle returned, I arm-wrestled her into one of the creaky-people carts so we could be DRIVEN back to C-14. After waiting a few minutes for another passenger who never showed up, our driver Bill took us the scenic route back to whence we came. We had a fun conversation with Bill about Clay Aiken and second careers driving carts in airports. We arrive at gate C-14 to find -- nothing. Nada. Nobody. Except one clerk at the desk.

Care to guess what she told me?

Bill obligingly turned us around and drove BACK to A-37, despite my request that maybe we get to sightsee a bit of the "B" terminal this time around. I pondered exactly when and how we'd been cast in The Amazing Race, or perhaps that new gameshow hit, Gate or No Gate. We joined our fellow passengers in a mumbling, muttering line at A-37. Judging by the atmosphere, it's a good thing they stuck with that gate or it might have gotten ugly. Feet could have been involved. And FBI agents.

ETA just to put in quotes and title it/couchie