# 12 An Evening With His Royal Highness Fantasy Fodder

[KAndre]

The Rest of Nirvana

or, Misleading everyone 'cause it all sounded good on the front row!

Friday, July 6 (evening): Y'all know I touched the stage (and forced someone to wriggle up there and couldn't reach and then was forced to turn the charm on a strange man who gave them to me and get what turned out to be what I think are Quiana's lyrics but at least Clay stepped on them several times). Believe or not, I haven't actually downloaded any clack - awaiting a certain minion who claims I'm writing "fanfic" - I know where you live now missy! - it has made it really, really clear that where you sit makes a fair amount of difference in the sound quality. The camera snark was so frickin' perfect - until Clay realized that Houston security apparently took everything to heart. Just like us. I think I enjoyed Clay ratting out security dude best of all - and y'all couldn't see Security dude's face who was flabbergasted that Clay had turned on him - abandoned him to the knees of a dozen women. Clay's voice was GORGEOUS; the, uh, 'tribute to Prince', yeah, that's the ticket (man, I think I've loved Prince almost as long as Clay's been alive - that was funny - snarky but funny); the dancing, the eyefucks...the total and complete fuckery of the words to "The Way You Make Me Feel" - hell, I don't think he even got the chorus right. The audience did though. And I have to give a shout out to the behaviour of the Houston audience - for a Clay concert, honest to goodness there was such a minimum amount of damn psychotic bitches shrieking in the middle of Clay's singing "I'm (who clearly am off my meds and have no filter whatsoever and even negative attention is perfectly wonderful when it's from you, Clay!) an attention whore, Clay!" Though in the Classics sections, it says a LOT about the audience make up that "Bills, Bills, Bills" did not get more of a response - as Destiny's Child is from Houston and that was their first top 40 hit. Maybe he should have added "Legs" from ZZ Top. He so totally performs his songs though. Of course, if I ever get some time up close and person to him, we will do a variety of things I will leave to y'all's imagination, then I will kick his ass because the goddam them to "The Greatest American Hero" has been floating around in my head all frickin' week because I don't frickin' KNOW or THINK ABOUT TV theme songs and he has pried open my brain and that one got in. It's not even one he's freakin' singing! Dammit. Ahem.

After the concert, the eHP decides we ain't walking 5 blocks to the Hyatt and go get our cars. Being my minions, they abandon me without a second thought and disappear into the tunnels. Realizing I can save maybe twenty whole feet by staying above ground, I head back to Birraporetti's, when I spot a line. Being me, I get into the line even though I have no earthly idea what it's for, but the possibility that I will get something free has always been a big motivator. I think sugrbugr enlightened me that Clay may come down the line - and it was short! Hey! My kind of Clay line! Jerome came down the line to line us up (though again, the Houston crowd was very well behaved) - small girls stopped him and demanded autographs - he told them he couldn't right then, didn't they want him to keep his job? They pouted at him and he surrendered. We shall turn Scarlett loose on him shortly. No, you don't get to know why. Clay started at the end of the line closest to me (cool) and was moving like that squirrel in "Over the Hedge" on a caffeine high. Nice strong, soft hands - and I'm afraid they were moist because everything is moist in Houston at night in July - we may be a little humid - just a teensy, tiny bit. As soon as he shook my hand, I continue onto my car and was stopped by some people leaving Alley Theater, who pointed to the cliched pop star scene of people attempting to follow Clay into the hotel, and asked who it was. I told them of course. They asked, "Good show?" I say wonderful. They say, "Popular, isn't he?" as we watched two fans who were definitely old enough to know better run into the street against the light and in front of traffic to get all of thirty feet closer to the door Clay went into. I say Yep. I eventually get to my car, drive to the Hyatt, valet park since I didn't pay for the Birraporetti parking, and headed toward the noise.

I managed to get a table, herd the eHP into it and we squealed and talked and I drank as I am surrounding by teetotallers. Waves madly at Savonnette and Savonnette's seriously cute husband, who matches Savonnette's extremely cuteness. Oh, I forgot. I did tell y'all I went ahead and bought a car earlier that day? And lied to the salesman and told him I was picking it up? Well, I did remember to call him sort of from the party and tell him to keep the car until Monday. I have every faith that he wasn't just sitting around waiting for me. Yep.

The eHP eventually leaves the Hyatt a little after midnight, head to merrieeee's, change, throw everything in the back of the SUV in a way guaranteed to give every man I know a headache, make sure there are enough Cheez Doodles and head north. I sleep until the cop shines his light in my face. OK, I have no earthly idea what my minions were doing while I was asleep - they deny any wrongdoing - and I don't think we were doing more than 75 - and I think there's some sort of law in Texas that they aren't supposed to bother you until you hit 80. However, I don't think a carful of innocently blinking ethnic women and one token white girl who wasn't actually mouthing "Help me" was what he was looking forward. We tend to take advantage of that. We got off with a warning, and I went back to sleep. We eventually arrive in Tulsa, find a Mickey D's, and then find our hotel. PerusingOnechecks us in, and I swear, every bellboy in the state of Oklahoma takes one look at all our crap (Kimiye's stuff alone weighed like, lots. I'm actually really bad at estimate weights) and heads for the hills (wait, are there hills in Oklahoma?) Anyhoo, I grab one of there cart thingies, and after a number of minor accidents that weren't my fault at all, I discover that one pair of wheels, like, turn, and the other pair are fixed and if you steer using the turning ones it's easier to avoid running over people. We all crawl into bed and sleep. Except for PerusingOne, who has issues. Fun issues, but issues nonetheless. And me because I wanted a massage. But they didn't have any, so I went back to my rooms and posted stuff. So we went off to lunch with Kimiye's sister and Kimiye's sister's friend, who lived in Tulsa awhile back and so we volunteered her to drive. We had lunch and were called and told that "the hotel said that Tulsa had cut off it's water and it wouldn't be back on until 7 pm" We said bad things. We said many bad things. Kimiye her dad's water conservation rules. We are clearly gonna have to kill someone. And eat less fiber. So we wandered around Tulsa until we found a Walmart and bought: 2 gallons of water, wet wipes and pillows (and we got the good ones for $2.92!). We thought about buying a dresser, but changed our minds (well, Kimiye was feeling up the dresser - how the hell she thought she would get it back to Florida was beyond me - but the eHP is surprisingly versatile). When we got back, the remaining members of the eHP had wandered off and upon their return, provided...interesting...pictures of the venue. The eHP prides itself on knowing exactly what can be given to various members, detemined on what they have lost before. I am not allowed to hold purses. PerusingOne, no tickets. Scarlett, no hotel room keys. Ever. No matter how much she wants them. Because Solo doesn't like sitting out in the hallway of hotels, being propositioned by strange men, oddly enough. We accept these sorts of little quirks. And I did not torture her to get the spare key back, no matter what she says. The water comes on in enough time so we can run it longer enough that it doesn't look like spare irrigation water. We get dressed, and head to the penitentary, I mean, high end venue....

to be continued with...

How We Turned Out to Be An Experiment in How Many Seats Can Be Wedged Into a Limited Space Without Air Conditioning in July and Shrieking Audience Members Without Me Turning and Killing Them All

[JennaZ]

Just as I was stepping out the door this morning, Sam Rubin on KTLA said something like "want to hear a secret? Clay Aiken's getting his own sitcom. Shhh.". I had to leave for work. Anyone on any other boards hear this? Did I hear this right?

I'm sitting in traffic illegally writing this on my Blackberry, so I can't surf the net.

[luckiest1]

Just as I was stepping out the door this morning, Sam Rubin on KTLA said something like "want to hear a secret? Clay Aiken's getting his own sitcom. Shhh.". I had to leave for work. Anyone on any other boards hear this? Did I hear this right?

That's the first I've heard of it....don't see anything on any of the major boards about it, yet. Hmmmmmmm.....does FCA have the scoop?

[Ansamcw]

Just as I was stepping out the door this morning, Sam Rubin on KTLA said something like "want to hear a secret? Clay Aiken's getting his own sitcom. Shhh.". I had to leave for work. Anyone on any other boards hear this? Did I hear this right?

I'm sitting in traffic illegally writing this on my Blackberry, so I can't surf the net.

this is probably some snark...right?

will keep an eye out for other reports on this but so far haven;t seen any other report on this.

[ldyjocelyn]

Just as I was stepping out the door this morning, Sam Rubin on KTLA said something like "want to hear a secret? Clay Aiken's getting his own sitcom. Shhh.". I had to leave for work. Anyone on any other boards hear this? Did I hear this right?

I'm sitting in traffic illegally writing this on my Blackberry, so I can't surf the net.

this is probably some snark...right?

will keep an eye out for other reports on this but so far haven;t seen any other report on this.

After the "news" from this weekend, plus Clay's reaction (both at the concert, and the way the press release was worded), I would guess it is snark too. If it isn't -- anybody want some kevlar armor?

KAndre, "Bills Bills Bills" was the one song in the medley that I had NO CLUE what it was. I had to go to YouTube yesterday to watch the original video, and then was doing the "wow, that's ORIGINAL Destiny's Child!"

But I love your suggestion that Clay add "Legs" to the medley. Guh.

[Kareneh]

I had sleep!!! Eight whole hours last night and I feel like a new person. Somehow I seem to have lost the first two days of this week in some kind of fog. Oh well…..I haven’t had any clack yet today and maybe that’s actually a good thing. I have laundry.

What a week this has been! Back home…drive…drive….drive. Watch clack…upload pictures from memory cards…..pat the dog….dish on the phone with friends about the weekend....no regrets for the Sunday morning hangover. Okay, Sunday afternoon hangover. I had to hand the keys over to Lynda on Sunday morning…..

Lovely swag from the Tulsa party, Clayzorback, I took a wander through the room to check out all the fabulous things the OK fans had on the tables for bids. It was amazing what they had put together…..so much pretty all in one room was kind of overwhelming.

Love the “lost” excerpts from the Chron….

``I think nowadays radio doesn't care how good someone sings. They just care whether or not people can fake having sex while standing up dancing to it. That's all they want.

You go sexy singer man……I’ve never seen anyone faking it standing up at one of your shows…..ever. Yeah, they can keep their Pro-Tooled sex. I’ll have the real thing, thank.you.very.much.

Anyone ever overhear an NJU tap their seatmate and say, “I’ll have what she’s having?”

I got lots of pix from Frisco and lots from Houston. A total of 36 from Tulsa, darn it! Those are all from the end of the night. When I saw the signs and the ferocity of the “Event Staff” I decided that this would be the one where I sat and watched without worrying. Having the seat one in from the aisle helped me hold to that decision…..but it was hard. The rollicking free for all attitude and general grunge look of the Brady just didn’t fit with having such a prohibitive camera policy. I know those two things don’t go hand in hand but still…..it seemed weird. I started to go through my Frisco pix last night and I’ll get back to them in a little while…..if I can let the clack go. I have this terrible weakness, you see.

This is one of them.....well, more like six So what if it's thrust, not horsepower, that enables a given payload to become airborne. Without the efficient use of horsepower, there would be no thrust. In this case does economy of motion equate with more bang from the.....I think I need some more sleep. I'm starting to babble.

KAndre.....you're cracking me up. Write some more! (So requests humble minion person.) Nobody can tell a story like you. We must have lunch soon so everyone has the opportunity to defend themselves.

What a great time this was. Waves to everyone!! I want to give everyone a hug. Come 'ere. I promise...it won't hurt...really.

Something from Houston....

[Gibby]

Aw, Clayzor and treenuts - go ahead and use the avi if you want to do so. Muski, too!

But I'll have you know, Clayzor, that I'm greeeeen with envy over your Clay haul. I got nuthin' like that. In fact, I can't go to any concerts this summer at all. I was hoping to go to TX & OK, as they are the closest concerts to Colorado. But instead I'm at my Mom's house taking care of both of my parents. Mom just had a knee replacement (major surgery!) and my Dad is disabled. *whines* Do you feel sorry for me yet? And since my daughter has to have a series of expensive dental surgeries this year, I can't really afford to fly all over the country chasing Clay.

To survive, I'm downloading clack. Might have to hook it up to an IV line.

I am, however, going to the November skating event, come hell or high water.

Edited July 11, 2007 by Gibby

[keepingfaith]

.......we should all use it as our avi. That way we can see it at all times, because I will never tire of watching Clay thrust that package at me.

You know what guys? We're SLIPPING! This hasn't been posted in 2 pages!!!

Just dropping in on a busy day to keep the hot package thrusting .....

And Clayzor ... thinking about the "three words you'd say to Clay" thread at OFC and your brilliant contribution thereto (NYP!!), I may swipe your phrase above as mine ... THRUST THAT PACKAGE!!!! Maybe with a little encouragement some of those women over there may actually unclench and enjoy themselves.

Yeah, riiiiiiiight.

LJ -- your CD is going out today. And Clayzor, OMG I love all the ***stuff*** so much. Thanks for the mags and pics and CDs and especially the company of a fellow perv!!! {{{And yes, you know very well where you wanted that toe. Don't be coy, roy.}}}

[bottlecap]

You know what guys? We're SLIPPING! This hasn't been posted in 2 pages!!!

Just dropping in on a busy day to keep the hot package thrusting .....

And Clayzor ... thinking about the "three words you'd say to Clay" thread at OFC and your brilliant contribution thereto (NYP!!), I may swipe your phrase above as mine ... THRUST THAT PACKAGE!!!! Maybe with a little encouragement some of those women over there may actually unclench and enjoy themselves.

Crap! Between all the package thrusting over here and the begging for the blinking crotch rivet banner over at CH, I've come dangerously close to nasally shooting Diet Sprite all over my computer screen.

[cha cha trusty]

Speaking of Harry Potter, what happened to Daniel Radcliffe? When he was younger, I thought he had the potential to grow up into being a major hotty. Now, not so much... He looks so short and kind of squatty in his real-life pictures.

lickest1, girl, where's the ________ countdown du jour?

:Tour3:

Bottlecap - I agree about Daniel R - his forehead sems to have not kept up with the rest of his face or something!! But I'm off to see the OOTP in a couple of hours!! I'm wearing my t-shirt, and my radish earrings! I can't decide whether to wear my "robe" - it's purple with gold stars on it!

I forgot to mention I got the DCAT shirts along with the DVD shirt and I ordered exactly the right size! (not saying which!) I like the v-neck too! I got the one with EYEtalian words on it in black and white! (did I ever mention my pins came too?? CRS!!!)

My contribution :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Just cuz............

OK....like YSRN, I'm still guffawing over

I'm like, 'Whoa!'''

:lmaosmiley-1: and am rushing to nominate this for a thread title cuz he IS!

BWAH!

I second that!!

COUNTDOWN!!!!

Eeep, I am falling down on the job.

6 more days till Philly!!!!!1!!!11!!!! :Tour3: :TourExcite:

[bottlecap]

But I'm off to see the OOTP in a couple of hours!! I'm wearing my t-shirt, and my radish earrings! I can't decide whether to wear my "robe" - it's purple with gold stars on it!

Your robe sounds fab - you must wear it!

[luckiest1]

I am, however, going to the November skating event, come hell or high water.

{{{Gibby}}} See you in Vegas, baybee! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

OK, I just went for a walk around the downtown area with my iPod, window shopping (which is all I can afford to do since I am in so much ticket debt ) and spot's Tulsa Banter & TOA clip came on. I think that may be the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life. I mean, he's even laughing so hard he can hardly sing the song. Of course, it made me laugh out loud, attracting the stares of strangers who veered widely around me on the sidewalk.

Can't WAIT to watch the video of that tonight!

[keepingfaith]

I wanted to share a picture of the wonderful keychain atinal made for some of us. So I thoiught what the heck, I'd take pics of some the things we got in our goodie bag at the party. Bored much, Clayzor? Thanks again, atinal. That was so sweet of you.

Here is one side of the keychain

Oh yes, thanks again and ever so much atinal! I love, love, love my keychain!!!

Now as to the little black gift bag at the Tulsa pre-party ... I never got one as they were OUT OF THEM when I arrived. Which must mean there were people who took more than one ... because neither sis or I got a swagbag at the Tulsa party. But I got so many goodies from my friends that there's no complaining from me. That party was shockingly immense and I wish Clay himself could have seen it.

The Rest of Nirvana

or, Misleading everyone 'cause it all sounded good on the front row!

Friday, July 6 (evening): I think I enjoyed Clay ratting out security dude best of all - and y'all couldn't see Security dude's face who was flabbergasted that Clay had turned on him - abandoned him to the knees of a dozen women.

FYI, I took a toe, several toes in fact, for the clack on Friday night. I was strategically placed on Row A to stop that little powernazi and since my knees were an inch from touching the stage, and I didn't turn them, he stood on my foot!!! And I told him he was standing on my foot but he was determined to go after the cameras until Clay stepped in and ran him off. The little creep. But I felt proud to do my duty for the glorious clack, red toes and all!

I miss Clay. Hey guys, I asked sis yesterday if she was ready to go to Florida and she said .... "When is it?" and "Oh, wow, I think I'll be back from Cleveland the day before!" She so has the hook in her jaw.

[muskifest]

Know what? Clay's banter and Classics videos are the most amazing and immediate stress relievers! Here at the conference we have a room for our office---it locks! So when some asshole is being an asshole or whatnot, I put out the fire like a very professional businesswoman, smile and then say to my colleagues..."Excuse me a moment...I'll be back in a few..."

Then I lock myself in here (my boss is the only other one with a key) and watch one or more versions of the Classics...

And I am IMMEDIATELY grinning like a fool!--through the WHOLE thing, either because of what he's doing or what I know he's gonna do! And how kewl is it that this man can make me and and :lmaosmiley-1: all at the same time!

heee!

[merrieeee]

OMG CH has the blinking rivet banner up!!!!!

[muskifest]

OMG CH has the blinking rivet banner up!!!!!

And it's cracking my shit up! :lmaosmiley-1: I just KNOW Clay is going to see this and I hope he's laughing HIS ass off, too!

:lmaosmiley-1:

You know, I can almost forgive the 'white boy brown hair bowl cut' (tm KAndre) whenever I watch Houston clack. The man WORE those jeans that night....

Edited July 11, 2007 by muskifest

[bottlecap]

OMG CH has the blinking rivet banner up!!!!!

I feel certain that it is blinking out a sooper sekret message - if only I knew morse code.

The crotch bling is so delightfully tasteful and yet just the slightest bit tacky, and I cannot look away.

[muskifest]

From raleighlady at CV.

I've been a little bit irritated with MIX101.5 WRAL so I haven't been listening to the radio for the past week. I may have to reconsider. Just before lunch, a friend called to say that Diane Ramsey, the midday DJ, announced in a sweet honey voice: "He can put his size 13 foot on my armrest anytime he wants. Here's Clay Aiken with Invisible." Heh.

Heh. Somebody should email her a copy of the blinking rivet gif..... :medium-smiley-070:

[treenuts]

OMG CH has the blinking rivet banner up!!!!!

I feel certain that it is blinking out a sooper sekret message - if only I knew morse code.

The crotch bling is so delightfully tasteful and yet just the slightest bit tacky, and I cannot look away.

BWAH!

Talk about "putting ones eye out"!!

[atinal]

Keepingfaith, I didn't get a goody bag at the Tulsa preparty either, in fact I didn't even know about it until I saw Clayzor's post. I guess because of standing in that hour long line to check in to the hotel, I must have missed out on a lot including meeting a lot of folks. When I got to the party room I had a hard time even finding a place to sit down to eat.

Since I didn't get to meet very many people at this concert I still have a few of the key chains left. I made them for FCA peeps. If anyone would like one, just pm me with your name and address and I'll send you one. I also have the stuff to make a few more. Don't hold me to any time table though. ok. This is a while they last offer.

[ldyjocelyn]

OMG CH has the blinking rivet banner up!!!!!

You know, I think there may be a pin design in that somehow, with a cubic zirconia in place of the rivet (or as I call it, stud. Heh). Or maybe we can convince atinal to make some more keychains using that picture and a well placed sequin. PWEEZE?!?!?!? :F_05BL17blowkiss:

From raleighlady at CV.

I've been a little bit irritated with MIX101.5 WRAL so I haven't been listening to the radio for the past week. I may have to reconsider. Just before lunch, a friend called to say that Diane Ramsey, the midday DJ, announced in a sweet honey voice: "He can put his size 13 foot on my armrest anytime he wants. Here's Clay Aiken with Invisible." Heh.

Heh. Somebody should email her a copy of the blinking rivet gif..... :medium-smiley-070:

That's funny. I'm also actually enjoying some of the headlines that I'm reading from this damn story. My favorite has been from New York magazine:

Clay Aiken's Foot Disciplined, Apologetic

Shoot, I'd discipline his feet any old time. Probably with a feather. Or some fur.

[treenuts]

Thanky to lickiest1 for recommending spot's Tulsa Banter&TOA clack.

I just watched it and it is very funny but he does sing the shiznits outta that song and looks damn purdy doin' it too!

Run don't walk to:

http://www2.clackunlimited.com/clack/Conce...spotlightlover/

[cindilu2]

Wah. It's not blinking for me. It's just a plain ol' jpeg.

I wanna see Clay's Rivet BLINK, damnit!!

[merrieeee]

Some requested it be turned off! They are now seeing if anyone wants it back on.

[luckiest1]

Thanky to lickiest1 for recommending spot's Tulsa Banter&TOA clack.

I just watched it and it is very funny but he does sing the shiznits outta that song and looks damn purdy doin' it too!

Run don't walk to:

http://www2.clackunlimited.com/clack/Conce...spotlightlover/

Come on, cindilu2, you know you wanna! Hee, he says "woman!" in a very commanding tone of voice. Not that you'd like that or anything....

Some requested it be turned off! They are now seeing if anyone wants it back on.

I swear, do people not know how to turn off images at work? If it bothers them that much....just sayin'.