#41: Clay Aiken Makes His Triumphant Return!

[djs111]

Oh well. I guess you and others will just be regarding him as a liar, then.

C'est la vie and all that!

Hey, I took his answer at face value, too - what I feel is, tho, that he had the absolute right to define his sexuality in public any damn way he chose to.

[Cotton]

You know what?

He "lied".

If someone asked me about my sex life, I might lie.

If someone asked me if I ever had sex outside of my marriage, I might lie.

If someone asked me if I ever had unprotected sex, I might lie.

And I'm not even famous. And my words aren't going to be printed and spread across the internet. And I'm not 24 years old thrust from obscurity into the most glaring of spotlights.

I just don't think he needs to apologize for that.

The truth is . . .

THE QUESTION SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ASKED!

He just shouldn't have been put in that position. IMO

Wandacleo - I love you and your posts at OFC.

I just left there and I think I need a shower.

A scalding hot shower.

A shower that might take as much skin off as Clay Aiken's diaper changing methods!

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!!!

I'm wishing Clay would have said 2 days without moderation instead of 2 weeks!!!

[laljeterfan]

Oh well. I guess you and others will just be regarding him as a liar, then.

C'est la vie and all that!

Hey, I took his answer at face value, too - what I feel is, tho, that he had the absolute right to define his sexuality in public any damn way he chose to.

Of course he had the right to answer the question any way he wanted to. Do I understand his reasons for giving the answer he did? Sure. If I was asked questions about my sex life and I didn't want to answer them truthfully, I'd probably lie too. And you know what- that would make me a liar- just like every other human being on this earth. I'm not trying to condemn him, here. The point I'm trying to make, and obviously not doing very well, is that he's not exempt from being called on the lie just because it was to a question that should have never been asked.

ETA- Couchie-per your post below- I'm not asking him to do anything. I just didn't get the part of the original post that I quoted that said that somehow it's not a lie because the question was intrusive.

[Couch Tomato]

But he did refuse to answer several other questions in the RS interview- the one about whether he was a virgin, and the one about masturbation. And he could have said that he felt the line of questioning was getting entirely too personal- as it definitely was. A refusal to answer may well have led to the perception that the answer was yes, but it wouldn't have been taken as a definitive statement. And I readily admit that I, for one, took his statement in RS to be a definitive one- that he was not gay.

And the entire subtext of Clay coming out is that he didn't want to hide any more and he didn't want to lie anymore and he didn't want to have his son grow up in that way. So isn't that admitting to you that he knows he wasn't truthful. He's said it - it's splashed across the cover of a magazine. He also said in essence that he didn't mean to hurt youWe also know the rest of his history since Idol and what he has said and what he hasn't said. People have been begging him to just deny it for years. But he didn't. As late as 3 years ago his own brother didn't know he was gay. Who knows when the rest of his family found out. Can't you feel his struggle? He can't undo it? It will never be undone. What more should he do - or is it not a matter of him doing anything.

ETA: So if it's just that you want to be able to say he lied..then fine. He lied.

To me it's all semantics at this point and a bit circular. When you are a gay man or woman in this country it's a personal decision to make. It's hard enough on private citizens. I can't even imagine what it was like for him. So even if we all started using the he lied terminology and agree to it I think we'd still be on total opposite sides of the coin. And you know what, it seems that we're going to have to find a way for that to be ok.

[me myb]

<snip>

It is not like he robbed a bank or something.

And if he did I hope he wasn't wearing a T-shirt with a picture of the Claynation on the front!!

Lying - ahhhhhhhhhh I would place money that I have lied more than once to "save face" during my lifetime when answering an unexpected question. I probably reqreted it afterward, but as someone said "do-overs" are hard to come by.

Unfortunate - but we are not all Saints.

YET I raised my kids telling them NEVER to lie!! Go figure...

maybe I was having a human moment.

maybe Clay has had a couple human moments in his life.

I know Clay has done more good for this world in his short life than I have or could do in 5 lifetimes.

I am glad he is human and I feel blessed to know he exists.

I pray everyone still having dealing problems finds comfort and peace within themselves.

[merrieeee]

OMG ! just heard that Clay Aiken is gay!!! I thought he was just cute!!!!

Ok so can he be both cute & gay? I'm not really up on gaytiquette

[Couch Tomato]

OMG ! just heard that Clay Aiken is gay!!! I thought he was just cute!!!!

Ok so can he be both cute & gay? I'm not really up on gaytiquette

wouldn't that be claytiquette?

[wandacleo]

Gay or not, if I get that man alone, I'm jumping his bones.

ETA: And I'll lie like a dog about it.

[laljeterfan]

Lying - ahhhhhhhhhh I would place money that I have lied more than once to "save face" during my lifetime when answering an unexpected question. I probably reqreted it afterward, but as someone said "do-overs" are hard to come by.

Unfortunate - but we are not all Saints.

YET I raised my kids telling them NEVER to lie!! Go figure...

maybe I was having a human moment.

maybe Clay has had a couple human moments in his life.

Exactly- lying is a universal thing- we've all done it. It just didn't make sense to me that it shouldn't be considered a lie because of the circumstances- again, going way back to the original post that I quoted. But, since I'm obviously having a hard time making myself understood here, I'll stop trying. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[jamar1700]

And I readily admit that I, for one, took his statement in RS to be a definitive one- that he was not gay.

Have you ever been interviewed by the press? Have you ever opened up the newspaper to find yourself quoted? 'Cuz I could tell you some stories. Just sayin'

Clay has admitted to being naive during that interview. He has stated that he never intended to lie or mislead. Which, to me, is not the same as saying that he didn't. Perhaps it IS all semantics

I, honestly, never would have blinked an eye had he come out right away. I just thought he was such a strong, self- aware person that he wouldn't hide it. So I did believe he was straight. Now .... hearing him talk about the timing, helps me to understand. He had never admitted it to anyone BUT himself until he met Kim Locke....on American Idol. The RS interview happened not so long after that. I can see that he didn't understand the total implication of one statement in one interview...how it would be stapled to him for the next five years. He had no clue. So, in my mind, if he's "guilty" of anything in this, it's being, understandably, clueless at that point.

And good-Lordy-in-the-mornin' .... if I was anything at the age of 24, it was CLUELESS!

[wandacleo]

I think that something said as an act of self-preservation--even emotional self-preservation--is not a lie. Even if it's not the truth.

We do what we need to in order to survive.

[Couch Tomato]

I think that something said as an act of self-preservation--even emotional self-preservation--is not a lie. Even if it's not the truth.

We do what we need to in order to survive.

In the words of Anne Metcalf from Homefront - he made a mental reservation. I wish I had a clip to show ya'll to explain that.

I totally agree Wandacleo.

Jamar - I did things at that age that to this day nobody in my family knows. And they'll never know!

[wandacleo]

You know, the fact of the matter is, people we love lie sometimes. I know that my daughter told me PLENTY of lies in her younger years. But, I love her. I could remind her on a daily basis of all those lies--over and over and over. I could rant and rave about it. I could say there's NO time limit on lying so that something she said in 2003 is STILL punishable. I could do that. (Some parents do.) I choose to have a loving memory. I remember that she lied because she was young and foolish and afraid of consequences. I remember all those times when she told the truth. I look at her now and see such a lovely young woman--a good kind mother. She doesn't lie to me now. I love her. I cut her slack through her rough times because my goal was that she be a good adult. She is.

I love Clay.

I cut him slack.

I think he is a good adult, too.

(I'll be so glad when all this shit is over because I'm getting downright wordy. Just kill me outright if I you ever have to scroll through my posts.)

[Couch Tomato]

(I'll be so glad when all this shit is over because I'm getting downright wordy. Just kill me outright if I you ever have to scroll through my posts.)

bwah

honestly I didn't know you could string together more than 8 words.

[wandacleo]

(I'll be so glad when all this shit is over because I'm getting downright wordy. Just kill me outright if I you ever have to scroll through my posts.)

bwah

honestly I didn't know you could string together more than 8 words.

OMG, and I'm a professional WRITER. That's not good.

[bottlecap]

Yup, he lied. And remembering the paxil bloat pictures, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to conclude he emotionally suffered over the situation. IMO and all that jazz.

bottlecap signing off for the night. Orientation: mostly straight, except for the occasional unrequited internet girl crush. Jaymes, you're one hot lil' mama.

[Couch Tomato]

Yup, he lied. And remembering the paxil bloat pictures, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to conclude he emotionally suffered over the situation. IMO and all that jazz.

bottlecap signing off for the night. Orientation: mostly straight, except for the occasional unrequited internet girl crush. Jaymes, you're one hot lil' mama.

love you bottle. Agree with both sentiments.

I'm so happy he is free now. No matter the consequences - the strain of not being true to himself had to hurt big time.

[JennaZ]

Yes, Clay lied in the Rolling Stone article.

But personally, it's not a lie I'm willing to abandon him for, not when the circumstances are such that it would have been very difficult to tell the truth. And I think all the subsequent attempts to avoid the question were really attempts not to have to lie about it again. To me, that counts for something.

I don't feel we were owed the truth. That isn't our truth to have. Sexuality is a deeply personal thing, and it was his right to keep it to himself.

I realize people feel deceived. However, I believe him when he says he never intended to deceive anyone. I think he just let people believe what they wanted to believe. He allowed people to make assumptions. It's a subtle distinction, but I think it's a relevant one.

[FromClaygary]

<snip>

It is not like he robbed a bank or something.

And if he did I hope he wasn't wearing a T-shirt with a picture of the Claynation on the front!!

Lying - ahhhhhhhhhh I would place money that I have lied more than once to "save face" during my lifetime when answering an unexpected question. I probably reqreted it afterward, but as someone said "do-overs" are hard to come by.

Unfortunate - but we are not all Saints.

YET I raised my kids telling them NEVER to lie!! Go figure...

maybe I was having a human moment.

maybe Clay has had a couple human moments in his life.

I know Clay has done more good for this world in his short life than I have or could do in 5 lifetimes.

I am glad he is human and I feel blessed to know he exists.

I pray everyone still having dealing problems finds comfort and peace within themselves.

Big, giant WORD!! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[laljeterfan]

Yes, Clay lied in the Rolling Stone article.

But personally, it's not a lie I'm willing to abandon him for, not when the circumstances are such that it would have been very difficult to tell the truth. And I think all the subsequent attempts to avoid the question were really attempts not to have to lie about it again. To me, that counts for something.

I don't feel we were owed the truth. That isn't our truth to have. Sexuality is a deeply personal thing, and it was his right to keep it to himself.

I realize people feel deceived. However, I believe him when he says he never intended to deceive anyone. I think he just let people believe what they wanted to believe. He allowed people to make assumptions. It's a subtle distinction, but I think it's a relevant one.

Thank you- I do understand what you are saying here. :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[cha cha trusty]

I have a friend, married 20+ years, who at 45 discovered she was gay.

The object of her affection was maried and not willing to leave her husband.

So, she left her husband, and met another gay woman who had never been married, and they have been together nearly 10 years.

She just got around to telling her sons, since she is getting ready to move in with her partner.

It's a really hard process, even if you are older......

:013085001176249046:

[muskifest]

I'll be so glad when all this shit is over because I'm getting downright wordy. Just kill me outright if I you ever have to scroll through my posts.)

wanda...just a minute. Are you perhaps implying that you scroll through MY posts? I have been guilty at times of being verbose.....

shocked?

Well...pull up a chair and I'll tell you all about it...

Oh lord...Jaymes posted again after Clay? I'm gonna have to go back over there to find it? oy....

[merryclay]

I'm of the opinion that Clay was strongly advised by his handlers to not come out, that it would be career suicide because of his mostly women fanbase.

[ldyjocelyn]

I think for me, the key is simply one word.

Forgiveness.

In my mind, he may have lied, but I also believe in forgiving him for that. It may be hard to forget the initial "lie" (in quotes because I'm not totally sold on his lying, but that's getting into semantics I think), but I care enough about Clay that I forgive him.

I'm in total love with GMA today. Clay looks to be an amazing father, and yet, he's snarky with his son already. "You'll be fat like your daddy." BWAH! And I also love the way Clay and Jaymes seem to be snarky with each other. They seem to be a good match for each other.

"Baby Mine" is my new favorite song.

[Bookwhore]

I never even considered it a lie. I consider it more of an evasion. And even if, in his confusion and naievity at the time, he did lie deliberately, well...I told a lie yesterday. So shoot me.

This morning I was thinking about my upcoming trip to Spamalot, wondering if I will enjoy it as well now that Clay has admitted he's gay. And you know what I realized?

He was gay when I first fell in love with him on AI

He was gay during the Independent Tour.

He was gay during the NAT tour, all the Joyful Noise tours, Jukebox Tour and DCAT.

He was gay when he started the BAF.

He was gay each time he visited and advocated for children for UNICEF.

He's gay today.

In other words he hasn't changed at all...all those times he thrilled me and made me cry and made me laugh, he was gay. He didn't become gay when the People cover was leaked. He hasn't changed...the only thing that's changed is the amount of information we now have. So if he could thrill the socks off of me last week, last month, last year...I'm sure he will continue to do so for years to come.

I'd still like the opportunity to boink him senseless.