#36: It ain't my life, just my passion!

[cindilu2]

The question that always comes to mind when I see people judging Clay's choices, whether they be how to handle the gossips, or this latest one - his rumoured choice to have a baby with Jaymes... How would you like it?

We all make choices and decisions in our lives - the business ones? I suppose they are fair game. But the personal choices? We all make them in our lives. Some choose to be childless (me), some choose to be single all their lives. Some choose to leave their husbands/wives and raise their children on their own. Some choose to stay with people they don't love for whatever reasons. Some I suppose even have the fairy-tale. But how would you like it if each choice you've made was fodder for discussion? Was subject to judgement by strangers. And then broadcast for the world to see (or posted on an infinite number of websites where it will never, ever go away). And you are told to answer for it. In detail. Whether you want to or not. So whatever insecurities you might have about it, whatever hurt or anxiety or guilt is magnified a thousand times over. I wouldn't like it one little bit. So I refuse to participate in it. And if even one ounce of joy is sucked out of it for him - well that's just a crime. You might say that's where I draw the line.

[ausdon]

And the biggest protection of all will be love; that will trump any tabloid rag. All disclaimers apply.

WORD--Thread title?

Speaking for myself...I see the weeds with the flowers...but is there any use to hate the weeds, be upset that they are there when I know that it is part of nature? So yeah I choose too acknowledge the flowers and to celebrate the beauty...and simply accept that weeds will naturally grow among the beauty.

Ansa this is so poetic. I love it!

[cha cha trusty]

Ok, for a little funny, I just clicked on a link that popped up in my email - something which I've never done until now - for concert tickets from a place called "Superstar Tickets . com". This is the blurb for Clay:

Clay Aiken is an award-winning musician. He was found to be a popular American favorite when he auditioned and made it all the way to the final two people on American Idol, a television show where the fans vote for the winner. Although Clay Aiken was not the winner of that show, he still has a lot of fans that know how much of a good singer he really is. Clay Aiken tickets are some of the hottest selling tickets around. If you want good Clay Aiken tickets, you can find them in many places.

Clay Aiken has made a lot of music since his days on American Idol. Clay Aiken has been said to sound a lot like Barry Manilow, which is a large compliment to Clay. What is often thought of as surprising is that Clay Aiken has fans that are all ages, which is said to be interesting in the music industry. Clay Aiken tickets sell to all ages, as well.

Clay Aiken is here to stay. He has a voice that is well loved, and is also sure to be a popular favorite for all of his fans. Even celebrities like Kathy Griffin have proclaimed their love for Clay Aiken, which many of his fans have said have brought them closer to him. Getting great Clay Aiken tickets is the dream of many. With Clay Aiken tickets, you can get a great experience.

Clay Aiken is known to play all over the world. He does enjoy playing for concerts that are in the US, though, as this is where most of his fans are. Clay Aiken is known to go on tour from time to time. His faithful fans are sure to follow Clay Aiken anywhere he plays, as is shown with the sales of Clay Aiken concert tickets.

Not necessarily wrong, or right for that matter, but just... odd! Who on earth writes a promotional segway (tm Clay) like this??

I think Kathy Griffin wrote it!!

[Iseeme]

Cindi - I don't think anybody can honestly judge choices they don't know about. I believe people are "just saying!" Everyone projects what their choices would be because that's their frame of reference. That's human nature and it happens day in and day out in a variety of ways. This is silly but, I played golf this morning and was with a woman who was making my teeth itch - no matter WHAT club I pulled out of the bag, she had an opinion of which one I should have used!!! She was basing her opinion on how far SHE hits the ball - not how far I hit the ball.

Clay is not - God love him - sacrosanct. And because he's a public figure there are going to be opinions. And because this is a message board - opinions get posted. We've spent half the day discussing that very issue.

I don't think people are going to stop talking about this baby until a statement is made from a credible source!!!! And there are going to be opinions that run the gamut from wanting to put a contract out on Jaymes to throwing a baby shower for her - and all points in between. However, referring to what Bella said, I would feel really, really awful for Clay if at the age of 29 he has reached the decision that he'll never find true love. That to me would be the saddest thing.

Anddddddddddddddd - obviously it's time for another pretty picture.

[playbiller]

I understand projection of choice but calling James a manipulative bitch based on guessing seems a tad overwrought. And, yes, that is from the public area of the Clackhouse from an anonymous poster.

I didn't get my WOW comment in - I was going to say the whole thing seemed to end in cacaphony with all sorts of instruments or was that only in my head?

Where I draw the line is a song, a fun song where, like all songs, some lyrics are a little odd, but others, unlike songs like lil'Wayne's, are great. I don't know if it reflects anything Clay is feeling, I think probably not because he seems to give himself to others so easily.

[annabear]

There are glass half full's and glass half empty's. Guess what... the water is at the same level and both are right from their viewpoint. Frustration about each other's point of view just raises blood pressure... feelings belong to the person having them and only that person can change them. Can I type any more cliches in one paragraph???

Bingo, liney. And I see nothing wrong with cliches!

SONG OF THE DAY: Where I Draw the Line

I think I finally have to admit that this is my favorite song on the CD and I can't fully explain why. There's something about us it that hits me in the gut every time it comes up on the CD or my iPod. Love the sound, the music, the lyrics and of course, the voice.

"Either you're gonna rescue me-eee

or you're gonna be the death of me"

I can't wait until we get to hear this one in concert...

Bwah, cha cha!

Thanks for that Australian Idol link, claytonic - Wow!!

Now how about some more pretty pictures? :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[djs111]

Yessss! Thanks, playbiller, for crystallising something for me - I just don't get upset about the products of other peoples' conjecturing and extrapolating. No need to. Not even making a choice, it just is totally foreign to me. We used to call it not borrowing trouble. I worry more than enough about actual facts.

Is there a place on the internet where we can see what constitutes an "age-appropriate woman"? Is true love impossible outside of those parameters?

[Kareneh]

Anddddddddddddddd - obviously it's time for another pretty picture.

Oh, that is a very pretty picture.

There's a fun little diversion brewing over at the LBFCA that you might want to keep an eye on. It hasn't started quite yet, but it won't be long in coming. Neither will you, I suppose, if you decide to participate.

I dumped the homework and finished up a long a*s blog tonight. It's here, Sally Rand McNally but you'll need to take a bathroom break first. It's a long one.

I take my validation for length where ever I can find it.

And with that, it's time for me to go to bed. *Muah*

[playbiller]

Uh

I think you need a new rant thread in the chit chat - one for telemarketers.

One just called and asked for someone I don't know - when I said they had the wrong number, the shit head asks who I am, and I demurred, he then says if you don't tell me who you are I can't put you on the no call list and I can keep calling and calling you - then he laughed and hung up. What a jerk. I don't think I will forget his voice!

[luckiest1]

I mourn the loss of that storybook wedding scenario.

I guess I just can't relate to feeling this strongly about a stranger's private life, regardless if he is a stranger that I've been following for 5 years. I just really, really, REALLY want him to be happy and fulfilled, and I don't think it's my place to define or guess what will do that for him.

Saw a pic of Jaymes on another board (supposedly taken yesterday) and she doesn't look 8 months pregnant to me. Today I'm leaning towards the negative side of the IIT equation. Ask me again tomorrow and I may have changed my mind.

[wandacleo]

Except for a quick peruse of topics at the CB to see if there's anything new (an uncensored) in the world of Clay, I don't go anywhere but here. I do not remotely care what Clay does with his life and wouldn't dream of passing judgement on any part of it--and have no interest in reading when others do.

I don't need to know what every crackpot and bitch has to say about Clay. They're out there. I don't care.

Have I mentioned lately that I love Clay?

Honestly, planning for concerts got me through the darkest period of my life when I was so sick I felt like curling up in a ball somewhere. There is NOTHING Clay could do that would disappoint me because I completely trust him to be a decent and good man.

I trust my instincts.

[HeidiHo]

But ask them to name any of his CDs - even his multi-platinum debut album and I bet they would draw a blank.

I thought this was a good point.

If you know many people outside of the online fandom who CAN name Clay's cds, that makes me very happy. I don't. I honestly don't. I do have a few friends that aren't part of my online fan friend circle who might...but for the most part, no.

The reason why *I* take a bit of issue with this train of thought is pretty simple. I can’t name OTHER artists CDs or if they are touring or remember if they are on TV, sometimes even people I like quite a bit. So, IMO, saying that people can’t name his CDs seems pretty irrelevant to me – when I can’t do the same for other artists I like. We know all the info about Clay because we are die hard fans. So, I guess my response is, “so what?” What does that prove? That not everyone is a crazy Clay fan, or aren’t paying attention?

ETA: I do want to say that I don't have a gloom and despair outlook about Clay at all. I've always thought he was going to be like the tortoise in the race. He's mad talented and has all the things that can bring him success---however he chooses to define it. Whatever that turns out to be---whether it's superstardom or a steady stream of concerts and new music that don't fill arenas but keep on a happnin', then it's al good. He's going through the fires now...but those fires will one day be "ashes" and he'll still be there, IMO.

Yeah, I agree with this – and I think part of the reason we CAN say this is because of his supposed notoriety. If he didn’t have that, he would just quietly disappear. I also think that because people find the gossip interesting, be it his hand over Ripa’s mouth or whatever, some of us tend to look at all of it as a negative. Maybe it’s NOT all negative at all. Maybe they find him interesting but aren’t into his music – well, he’s not just about music is he? If that leads to staying power until more people “get it” then I’m all for it.

At the end of the day, I’m with Couchie. <g>

Disagreement is not the same as being ruffled, at all.

EXACTLY!!!! Lordy, I’ve tried to make this point in multiple ways (for years) with little success. Any disagreement is often characterized as being mad, or over reacting or attacking – maybe we are serious about the “discussion” element of a discussion board. Scandalous. <g>

And I agree with your whole post. <g>

I also need to agree with jmh123 – good points.

Muski, I just think our definitions of tulips and crabgrass are different - I am not in denial, I just attach different levels of importance to a lot of stuff. I also live in the real world, ya know! I just see it differently or something.

I suppose I can start to just completely ignore posts that I disagree with, because I cannot make myself agree with doom and gloom, I don't see it!

Yeah, that.

PM is a great way to communicate. when I have a difference with someone, it is usually easiest settled that way. It is one way to stay friends with people you disagree with and or you can discover the other person is nuts and not to bother arguing with them - like my FC people run ins.

I agree about PMing. <g> Doesn’t always work. <g>

Muski...do you really believe that anyone in this board does not know the reality that there are people that think negatively of Clay????

I hope you don't think that people who choose to be positive are simply being blind or in denial...

Unfortunately, that’s how I took it.

Speaking for myself...I see the weeds with the flowers...but is there any use to hate the weeds, be upset that they are there when I know that it is part of nature? So yeah I choose too acknowledge the flowers and to celebrate the beauty...and simply accept that weeds will naturally grow among the beauty.

I think we all know that everyone has different experiences...the problem is...when we extrapolate our experience and think its universal or that it has become a proven reality, that is when people start to try and disprove your point.. The problem I had with CG's post last night is the idea that most people...not just the people she knows...but in general...only knows the negative crap. I really think that is a view point that is not necessarily based on reality but a bit of an exaggeration based on limited experience or even a skewed view from a handful of reports on the net. I think when people come on and say that is not their experience...they are disputing the notion that her experience is universal. So if you don;t want to have your opinions disputed...don;t claim to know more about general reality than others...stick to your experience.

Yep, yep, yep. Word.

I mourn the loss of that storybook wedding scenario.

I guess I just can't relate to feeling this strongly about a stranger's private life, regardless if he is a stranger that I've been following for 5 years. I just really, really, REALLY want him to be happy and fulfilled, and I don't think it's my place to define or guess what will do that for him.

Yes!! This sums up that area of thought for me. If he's happy, I'm happy.

[Belle6827]

I mourn the loss of that storybook wedding scenario.

I guess I just can't relate to feeling this strongly about a stranger's private life, regardless if he is a stranger that I've been following for 5 years. I just really, really, REALLY want him to be happy and fulfilled, and I don't think it's my place to define or guess what will do that for him.

Saw a pic of Jaymes on another board (supposedly taken yesterday) and she doesn't look 8 months pregnant to me. Today I'm leaning towards the negative side of the IIT equation. Ask me again tomorrow and I may have changed my mind.

Luckiest if you read my entire post, I did say that perhaps Clay is more comfortable in a relationship that doesn't require a storybook wedding. Just my own fantasy for him. I don't think it's all that unusual for some fans to want that for him. Let's face it. Given the circumstances of how he came to be on the celebrity scene just makes it easier for some, myself included, to be somewhat interested in other parts of his life. I realize it is not everyone's cuppa but it is mine. I don't expect everyone to agree.

I've followed other movie stars and singers over the years and was interested in who they dated, etc. That's what celebrity magazines were for i.e. Photoplay and there was another one. That was before the celeb mags became tabloid-type publications. You know they were filled with pictures but void of all the sleeze.

[aikim]

Playbiller Thanks for the explanation; I did take the second part personally. You can kid me about getting green-inked anytime; lots of people do.

My only problem with discussion about Jaymes and the baby, etal, is that it be done respectfully, whether you like Jaymes or not, she is an important part of Clay's life and I think that should be respected.

Kim

[Iseeme]

Luckiest - I hear what you're saying but Clay isn't a stranger. Not really. Sure we don't know what he's REALLY like but I bet most of us feel we know him somewhat for hanging on his every word, picture, appearance etc. for 5 years! So I don't know that it's fair to say "a stranger's private life!" I also don't think it's bad or negative or over-stepping or anything else to want someone you care for to have a wedding as beautiful as Ruben's. Maybe it isn't what Clay wants - but who the hell would KNOW what Clay wants because he ain't talking! I wanted that fairytale wedding for myself - didn't get it. Wanted it for my son - didn't get it. So what's the harm in wanting it for someone you care about! It's just a fantasy like all the rest of the stuff we want for Clay!!! For him to be happy? Well of course. But again I say - how would we or will we know if he's happy?

Why is it wrong for some of us to want to know how he is, what he's doing, IIT, etc. I just don't see the harm in that - it's not like I'm trying to climb in his bedroom window or stalk him at the doctor's office. To me THAT would be wrong. I feel like there are alot of noble statements being thrown around that make being a little curious out to be a capital sin! And they get posted day after day after day. Okay. Enough. I'll be curious. You don't be curious.

I trust him. I believe what he says. And as soon as he says it I'll trust him again and believe him again. In the meantime.......I don't feel the least bit bad for wanting to know. Because you see - he's more than just a guy on TV or a concert stage to me. He's been a big part of my life for 5 years now. And believe me, I DO have a life outside of Clay!

[luckiest1]

I never said I wasn't curious. Just like I never said the sun shone out of Clay's ass. Not quite sure how these types of things keep getting pinned on me.

Iseeme, I know what you are saying.....he's not some stranger on the street, obviously. But in fact, he keeps his private life private. What we "know" or think we know is his public persona. I also can't relate to the posts I've read that express a desire to vomit with the thought of Clay & Jaymes in a romantic relationship. I can't even imagine having that type of a reaction to the private of life of someone I do know....even one of my own kids. Consenting adults in a loving relationship....good for them. Not mine to judge.

I've followed other movie stars and singers over the years and was interested in who they dated, etc. That's what celebrity magazines were for i.e. Photoplay and there was another one. That was before the celeb mags became tabloid-type publications. You know they were filled with pictures but void of all the sleeze.

I guess that's just our difference.......I was never interested in that kind of stuff, never will be. For instance, I'm a huge Paul McCartney fan but I bow out of any conversations that start into the "divorce" stuff. Just don't follow it, because it's none of my business, even if they plaster it all over the tabloids. Like Clay, just want him to be happy and keep singing for me.

OK, time for Canadian Idol again. It's been a quiet Canada Day here. Managed to get son #2 to clean his room to the point where I could actually run the vacuum over the carpet.......YAY me!

[djs111]

Luckiest - I hear what you're saying but Clay isn't a stranger. Not really. Sure we don't know what he's REALLY like but I bet most of us feel we know him somewhat for hanging on his every word, picture, appearance etc. for 5 years! So I don't know that it's fair to say "a stranger's private life!" I also don't think it's bad or negative or over-stepping or anything else to want someone you care for to have a wedding as beautiful as Ruben's. Maybe it isn't what Clay wants - but who the hell would KNOW what Clay wants because he ain't talking! I wanted that fairytale wedding for myself - didn't get it. Wanted it for my son - didn't get it. So what's the harm in wanting it for someone you care about! It's just a fantasy like all the rest of the stuff we want for Clay!!! For him to be happy? Well of course. But again I say - how would we or will we know if he's happy?

Yes, he is a stranger, IMO. He does not peddle his private lfe, we have not bought it. It is a personal decision to be fascinated with his life, but it is, IMO, not his concern or problem.

Actually, maybe if you replaced "we" with "some of us" you would be more accurate.

Sure, wish a fairy-tale wedding for him - but being sad or upset or even angry because a wish on a stranger's private life may not come true - that makes no sense to me.

Why is it wrong for some of us to want to know how he is, what he's doing, IIT, etc. I just don't see the harm in that - it's not like I'm trying to climb in his bedroom window or stalk him at the doctor's office. To me THAT would be wrong. I feel like there are alot of noble statements being thrown around that make being a little curious out to be a capital sin! And they get posted day after day after day. Okay. Enough. I'll be curious. You don't be curious.

It feels like people are absolutely trying to see into his bedroom window - so they can talk about what they see and pass judgement - and the doctor thing? I don't see much difference between stalking him at the doctor's office and letting TMZ do the deed and then lapping up the details.

Of course, I wouldn't even tell my own sister some of the stuff people want to know about Clay's private life, so that may color my opinion somewhat!

It is not the "just curious" thing that bugs me, it is the harsh judgement and the anger that seem totally off-the-wall.

[Ansamcw]

Iseeme...I think its certainly natural to want to know. I want to know...but should I know??? I guess that will always be up to Clay and his boundaries.

I don't have a problem when people express their disappointment that its not Clay's wedding or even hoping it is his wedding... I just think its a bit premature because we do not know what is in Clay's future. All I know is if IIT....this is something that Clay wants and that he is man enough and mature enough to make this decision on his own so we need not be sad for him.

[gothedistance]

You're right, surely I can find a better way to celebrate Canada Day....but it's taken me ages to catch up with you all. You sure can talk.

Heh. I spent the whole day grooming dogs. I'm taking three of them to an agility trial this weekend and figured, if we can't be great, we can at least be pretty. Now I hear it's going to rain so it may all be for naught. Perhaps I should go out and wave a flag with my now blistered hand?

I've been catching up too so may come back to say something more interesting!

However, while I'm here, I'm hoping some of you music lovers might be able to help. A week ago, I heard a song on my local radio station that would make a great background to a montage I'm working on (sorry, not a Clay one). The story they told about it (I think it was a song from the 80's) was that it was only released in Europe and some guy that was traveling over there had heard it, brought it back and then nagged his Detroit radio station to play it (yay, like that would work now). It became a big hit apparently (I did not recognize it). Now, my radio screen said it was called I Feel or I Fell or something like that (my drivin' glasses aren't good for reading that). I have tried desperately to figure out what it was but can't. Does any of this sound at all familiar to anyone?

[djs111]

gothedistance - if you have the station's call letters, there is a site somewhere that has this info. Also a lot of stations have their own sites and display this information.

[Ansamcw]

So those watching Canadian Idol...how is it this year?..I think I just got so disappointed last year when all my favorites got eliminated right away and we were left with pretty generic singers...

hope its better this year

[Iseeme]

See djs - that's where you're completely wrong about what I posted! I don't want to see into his bedroom (well, let me think about that a minute.....is he alone? ) so I can pass judgement. Yes, probably some people do and some people want to believe everything on TMZ but those people aren't on this board - or at least I don't think they are on this board. And yes I definitely DO have my druthers about whether it's true or not. I think everybody does whether they'll admit it or not. Or - if you really don't care, more power to you but I'm not sure I believe you! YOU being the "general you" or the "royal you" and no one in particular. I care about what's going to happen to him on alot of different levels - is he going to ever have a smash hit CD, is he going back to Broadway, is he in love with or going to marry someone of his mother's generation (and regardless of age-appropriate definitions or whatever, THAT isn't the norm in any social group I've ever been in) and I care about whether he's healthy, happy, content, fulfilled, etc.

I do think it's absolutely horrible and mean that anyone would wish ill will on Jaymes or call her names. Whether that's Clay's baby or not, it's still a woman at an age where pregnancy is riskful and she's carrying a little life in her. For people to be posting horrible things about her and calling her names is sick. Just sick.

but being sad or upset or even angry because a wish on a stranger's private life may not come true - that makes no sense to me.

Not sad or upset because my wish for Clay might not come true. What I said I was sad about was in reference to another post speculating that Clay may have decided he wasn't ever going to find a true love. I really hope that isn't true! To me for someone to feel that hopeless at the ripe old age of 29 is sad!!!! He has so many years of his life left.

[luckiest1]

So those watching Canadian Idol...how is it this year?..I think I just got so disappointed last year when all my favorites got eliminated right away and we were left with pretty generic singers...

hope its better this year

Yeah, I gave up pretty early last year, too. Last night was a good show, I thought. Lots of talent. So far, tonight, I haven't liked the first couple of singers at all. So we'll see.

[HeidiHo]

Luckiest - I hear what you're saying but Clay isn't a stranger. Not really. Sure we don't know what he's REALLY like but I bet most of us feel we know him somewhat for hanging on his every word, picture, appearance etc. for 5 years! So I don't know that it's fair to say "a stranger's private life!" I also don't think it's bad or negative or over-stepping or anything else to want someone you care for to have a wedding as beautiful as Ruben's. Maybe it isn't what Clay wants - but who the hell would KNOW what Clay wants because he ain't talking! I wanted that fairytale wedding for myself - didn't get it. Wanted it for my son - didn't get it. So what's the harm in wanting it for someone you care about! It's just a fantasy like all the rest of the stuff we want for Clay!!! For him to be happy? Well of course. But again I say - how would we or will we know if he's happy?

Yes, he is a stranger, IMO. He does not peddle his private lfe, we have not bought it. It is a personal decision to be fascinated with his life, but it is, IMO, not his concern or problem.

Actually, maybe if you replaced "we" with "some of us" you would be more accurate.

Sure, wish a fairy-tale wedding for him - but being sad or upset or even angry because a wish on a stranger's private life may not come true - that makes no sense to me.

Word.

He is not a complete stranger, but yes, I think he is a stranger. Feeling like we know him because of our hanging on his words is not really knowing him – it’s our (universal) own feelings, and not necessarily reality. No one here really KNOWS him – they know bits about him based on what he is willing to share.

Of course, I wouldn't even tell my own sister some of the stuff people want to know about Clay's private life, so that may color my opinion somewhat!

It is not the "just curious" thing that bugs me, it is the harsh judgement and the anger that seem totally off-the-wall.

Heh. You are me – on both points.

[goldarngirl]

So those watching Canadian Idol...how is it this year?..I think I just got so disappointed last year when all my favorites got eliminated right away and we were left with pretty generic singers...

hope its better this year

It's pretty decent. Lots of male talent since they aren't divided equally. Still haven't touched my fav Jacob Hoggard (so I won't be voting yet) BUT as is always the way with Canadian talent (we are a unique people)

Lots of Clay songs though (waaaaaaa) or at least it feels that way. Last song tonight is Sorry (waaaaaaaa) again