#36: It ain't my life, just my passion!

[Iseeme]

So let me just pose a question......for discussion sake if nothing else.

Why do people say "I trust Clay" if they feel they don't know something about him? How can you trust someone who is a complete stranger? Because he has golden pipes? Because he's cute and funny and handsome? Hell I married someone like that (not with the golden pipes) and believe me, cute and funny and handsome don't mean squat in the trust department.

So if he's a complete enigma, a complete mystery to us - how can "you" say you trust him?

[jamar1700]

I so want him to have that storybook wedding.

But life is not a storybook. Not your life, not mine and not Clay's.

Iseeme, I know what you are saying.....he's not some stranger on the street, obviously. But in fact, he keeps his private life private. What we "know" or think we know is his public persona.

Also a fan may think of Clay as not-really-a-stranger, but would he know them on the street? Would he not consider that person on the street a stranger? Even if they ran up to him and explained that they are a huge fan and posted on the message boards as *insertboardnamehere* ... he still probably doesn't feel like he knows that fan personally. Sure we've had 5 years to get to "know" him but he hasn't had the same opportunity.

[Scarlett]

Being an only child and born between generations so that I was the only baby in both parents' families for years, I had to handle this "I have dreams for you bit" for ages and it was the weirdest! While I appreciated the love and care of all my relatives, all the other stuff -- organza and wool dresses that itched horribly but I couldn't rip them off because it would offend the aunt who gave them, exotic food that made my then-sensitive tummy rebel, being allowed to meet and play with only "the right kind of kids"... the list goes on and it still makes me shudder today. My biggest dream while growing up was to have a taste of "dirty ice cream" -- the homemade kind that was hawked by street vendors.

Talked to good friends from other boards over the phone, and what I've heard is that there's a lot of sadness over a presumed (IIT) loss of the picture-perfect storybook life for him. Belle and Iseeme have expressed it here but it seems to run a lot stronger on other boards, with people really hurting almost as much as though they've lost a loved one. I hold my friends' hands over the phone because I care for them and it saddens me to hear them but because of my past experiences I am still a bit put off about fairytales being woven for someone else.

[underthespell]

After being in lurk mode for quite some time all I have is this :

I just don't understand the success of TMZ. I don't understand how the "mainstream media" is using them and the likes as a source for "news". It just boggles my mind. I don't understand why people give that site "hits".

I am sorry some fans are upset with the latest "story". As for me I am waiting to hear from Clay.

OMWH is such a great album, I am enjoying it so much ! Clay's best work this far !!!I hope the little song that can "On My Way Here" keeps climbing the mediabase chart.

I can't wait to heart those songs LIVE in concert !!!

:F_05BL17blowkiss: to all of you !

[luckiest1]

So let me just pose a question......for discussion sake if nothing else.

Why do people say "I trust Clay" if they feel they don't know something about him? How can you trust someone who is a complete stranger? Because he has golden pipes? Because he's cute and funny and handsome? Hell I married someone like that (not with the golden pipes) and believe me, cute and funny and handsome don't mean squat in the trust department.

So if he's a complete enigma, a complete mystery to us - how can "you" say you trust him?

I don't think he's a complete mystery. I think he's shown us parts of himself, and he keeps parts private. However, I take him at his word because I think he's an honest guy. I don't think he misrepresents himself. That doesn't mean I know him, and that doesn't mean he doesn't have a private side that I am not privy to.

WOW, did anyone else watching CI just get blown away by Theo Tams? So far, he's my pick to win. And there are still 6 out of 20 left to sing.

[Iseeme]

Jamarsaid

Also a fan may think of Clay as not-really-a-stranger, but would he know them on the street? Would he not consider that person on the street a stranger? Even if they ran up to him and explained that they are a huge fan and posted on the message boards as *insertboardnamehere* ... he still probably doesn't feel like he knows that fan personally. Sure we've had 5 years to get to "know" him but he hasn't had the same opportunity.

I'm not sure how that relates to the conversation. Of course he wouldn't know me or you - but does "being a stranger" have to go both ways for it to be valid?

All I'm saying - and this is the last time I'll say it, I promise - is that wishing him love and happiness isn't any different than wishing him a successful CD IMO. It's all about caring about his well-being - private and public! And in the absence of any inkling of what that would be for him, people/me/us/some of us project what WE think would be nice. And I'm also saying there's nothing wrong with that. Trust me when I say I will not throw myself on a sword if he says he's (1) in love with Jaymes; (2) married to Jaymes; (3) the father of Kristy's baby; (4) shacking up with Angela, or fill in the blank. Because HE said it I will believe it and be happy for him. In the meantime I'm allowed my little fantasies.

And I could not agree with underthespell more about TMZ. That site is as vile as PH's site. I don't know how the people that run these things live with their conscience. Oh wait - they dont' have one.

Son is arriving shortly - off to BBQ. Have a nice evening everyone.

[jamar1700]

Jamarsaid

Sure we've had 5 years to get to "know" him but he hasn't had the same opportunity.

I'm not sure how that relates to the conversation. Of course he wouldn't know me or you - but does "being a stranger" have to go both ways for it to be valid?

Uhhhh....why would he be inclined to let that person, the one he really doesn't know, into his private life? Why should HE trust that person?

eta

and .... also what luckiest said below...

edited for clarity & other stuff

[luckiest1]

I'm not sure how that relates to the conversation. Of course he wouldn't know me or you - but does "being a stranger" have to go both ways for it to be valid?

Yes. To me it does - how can you "know" someone who doesn't know you?

[aikim]

True we really don't know Clay, but what I know of him through LTS; his interviews; his work with UNICEF; his worth ethic and his devotion to his family and loved ones...I would say he is definately a man of character and integrity and that is what I trust in. Does that mean he is perfect; of course not...he is a flawed human being just like the rest of us and probably, like the rest of us, has made poor choices in his life; whether personal or business...hindsight is always 20/20 and we all have that.

To me Clay is a stranger...I have not met him; I don't know him...but he is someone I admire and someone I enjoy being a fan of...and when someone says they are hurting over a supposed decision he made...well, that comes across to me as a little too invested. That kind of hurt I would reserve for my child or husband, not a celebrity that I barely know.

Kim

[FearofH2O]

Except for a quick peruse of topics at the CB to see if there's anything new (an uncensored) in the world of Clay, I don't go anywhere but here. I do not remotely care what Clay does with his life and wouldn't dream of passing judgement on any part of it--and have no interest in reading when others do.

I don't need to know what every crackpot and bitch has to say about Clay. They're out there. I don't care.

Have I mentioned lately that I love Clay?

Honestly, planning for concerts got me through the darkest period of my life when I was so sick I felt like curling up in a ball somewhere. There is NOTHING Clay could do that would disappoint me because I completely trust him to be a decent and good man.

I trust my instincts.

I so agree with you. IMO I'm just a fan of Clay's. I don't really need to know about his relationships or his family. I am interested in following his career and his philanthropic causes. If he asks me to help with any of these and I am able, I'll be there. Clay has a team of people when he needs advice and he trusts them. My opinion is worth nothing to him although I've had opinions many times.

I don't even know about my sons' relationships except for when they bring it up. They want help on their terms not mine and I learned this the hard way.

I don't think I've ever been angry or disappointed in Clay. Why would I? He is an entertainer and his choices don't affect my life. Now if he was president al bets would be off. :thsign27:

[Scarlett]

So if he's a complete enigma, a complete mystery to us - how can "you" say you trust him?

I trust luckiest to know what's best for herself, even though I haven't slept with her yet (*almost did on that final Spam weekend, someday*) and I hope people here trust me to know myself and what makes me happy, not that I listen very well on matters I consider my own choice anyways. Same goes with Clay.

I think most people here think Clay's a "decent person" -- usually with our own individual definition of what a "decent person" is. How much further than that people go depends on their mileage on what's "caring for someone" and what's "stepping over the line". Me, I tend to get surprised to see people putting more details into their hopes and dreams on Clay than I do for my own children. Wanting him to be happy is good IMO. Specifying what's needed to make him happy (that he hasn't stated for himself) seems to be pushing it.

ETA: Bottle, thanks for the reminder! What a great blog, Kareneh!!!

[bottlecap]

I dumped the homework and finished up a long a*s blog tonight. It's here, Sally Rand McNally but you'll need to take a bathroom break first. It's a long one.

This is a fantastic read - don't miss it! :smiles_141:

[gothedistance]

djs11, would you know the site to track what's played? I did go to the station's own website right after to see what the song was but it said that info wasn't currently available (figures!). I also sent an email to the guy that talked about the song but didn't get a reply.

So if he's a complete enigma, a complete mystery to us - how can "you" say you trust him?

I actually find that a very good question. I used to say things like "that's just not Clay", "that's just not what he'd do", and, yes, "I trust him". Since I've decided the best approach for me in this fandom is to say I really don't know him at all, I agree, those types of statements no longer make any sense to me.

I am still a bit put off about fairytales being woven for someone else.

I totally understand. Although your friends are worried about the fairytales that they had previously woven being destroyed, I'm also finding myself being put off reading the new fairytales I've seen concocted by taking tabloid news, accepting parts of it and then adding a whole new layer of romance and blissful outcomes without any verification. I've found that impossible to read any more.

[Belle6827]

I so want him to have that storybook wedding.

But life is not a storybook. Not your life, not mine and not Clay's.

Iseeme, I know what you are saying.....he's not some stranger on the street, obviously. But in fact, he keeps his private life private. What we "know" or think we know is his public persona.

Also a fan may think of Clay as not-really-a-stranger, but would he know them on the street? Would he not consider that person on the street a stranger? Even if they ran up to him and explained that they are a huge fan and posted on the message boards as *insertboardnamehere* ... he still probably doesn't feel like he knows that fan personally. Sure we've had 5 years to get to "know" him but he hasn't had the same opportunity.

Obviously, I am not naive enough to think that life is a storybook. I was merely saying that I could picture, fantasize, imagine, desire a "storybook" type of relationship and wedding like Ruben had.

That's all. There are others like me who think the same but on most boards will not post it because of the reaction they would get just like the ones Iseeme and I are receiving here. It's just one of those things I had hoped would come about during the time I followed and supported Clay. Heck, on many boards over the years, people would talk about the red-headed babies Clay would one day father and they hoped to be around to see it. I doubt that's going to happen either especially now because the way Clay guards his personal life, I doubt he is going to be flashing pics of his children

to the casual passer-by. I get it. It's just another pipe dream. Some of us like to have those and some don't. I don't pass judgement or critisize those who don't and I would appreciate the same courtesy.

Perhaps this board is not for me afterall. When I first lurked here, I thought people were more open to opinions other than their own. Apparently, I was wrong.

[djs111]

gothedistance, it is yes.com - but they just keep 7 days of info. Maybe you can just call that station or email them?

I think the "trust him" remarks are not to be taken literally, as it is kinda silly to think any of us actually has a say in any matters. As it should be.

Belle, It is not the fairy tales that bother me, I think they are kinda sweet, really, it is the anger or sadness or disappointment when someone's fairy tale starring Clay Aiken does not come true.

Also don't think being with an older woman rules out true love. Or that Clay has "settled" for anything. And Hannah pinching his butt? I believe people are quite comfy with stuff like that in the theater. Plus maybe she knew what kind of speculation it would cause, and laughed. Or else maybe it was the butt-pinch of True Love, who is to say? Tune in next week!

I think Clay has prolly met about eleventy-thousand more wimmen than he would have met in his old job. Young, old, nubile, whatever. And he has seemingly successfully kept most of his private life to hmself. So I can't see how any conclusions can be drawn for anything!

And some of the remarks and reactions on other boards remind me of Kathy Bates' demented nurse character in Misery. Yikes!

[jamar1700]

Obviously, I am not naive enough to think that life is a storybook. I was merely saying that I could picture, fantasize, imagine, desire a "storybook" type of relationship and wedding like Ruben had.

But what do you really know about Ruben's relationship and wedding? You've probably read a few articles and seen a few pictures.

Oh...yeah...that is a storybook. *g*

---

It's just a discussion.

You put something out there and people are going to respond. Won't apologize for that.

[playbiller]

OOOh, OOOH, I wanna do trust Clay -

In the boards and the interpretations are thrown around by many, I take Clay literally except when he is telling a story when he is "on", teasing someone in the audience, etc. In truth, I know few people from the boards or the media in real life - who am I going to believe, Clay or them? Most of what Clay has said checks out. I believe his blogs, especially when he is tgryiong to straighten some fan thing out. I don't take LTS a a bible study of Clay, I think he took a bit of liberty and told stories fron his viewpoint alone through the writer's lens. He said his family had problems with what he wrote, but he only changed the bit about Michael.

Instead of T MZ - can we call them by a secret special name like FARTS? Or maybe Pin Pricks?

[Iseeme]

Good Lord - no one can say anything without someone dissecting it. Everybody is so damn testy today!!!! I think I'm out of pretty pictures.

Belle - don't leave! There are good times here.

Belle, It is not the fairy tales that bother me, I think they are kinda sweet, really, it is the anger or sadness or disappointment when someone's fairy tale starring Clay Aiken does not come true.

And I don't recall seeing anyone on this board saying they would be angry or sad or disappointed when their fairytale didn't come true. If you're referring to my posts - I clarified what I was sad about! So why does Belle feel attacked? Could it be someone has taken this to a level it didn't need to be? Was fairytale the wrong word to use? Again I ask -is it wrong to want a life for Clay that some of us imagine would be a good one? With the caveat if that isn't what he wants, and HE TELLS US WHAT HE WANTS possibly, that we would be okay with that? Or even if he doesn't tell us what he wants but does something else....right now he's God-only-knows-where and all of this is pure speculation. Speculation. Not expectation.

But what do you really know about Ruben's relationship and wedding? You've probably read a few articles and seen a few pictures.

Come on Jamar - what I was saying, and I believe Belle was saying, is it LOOKED like it was a beautiful wedding, the reports said it was a beautiful wedding, and Ruben was very clear about how happy he was and what a good relationship he had with his wife. Now we can't trust Ruben to say what he's feeling? We need to slice and dice HIS words as well?

You put something out there and people are going to respond. Won't apologize for that.

Yes, but it could be a little less of a putdown, couldn't it? And I'm not speaking for myself if Heidi is lurking. I dont' feel put down, or attacked, or tomatoed. K?

OH - and the last time I mentioned Learning to Sing as a source for Clay's actions/feelings/opinions it was made clear that it was a book written for young people and was just fluff (fluff being my word, can't remember the word used) So I still say that from all that's been said here today about trusting Clay - you're basing that trust on the same things I"m basing some of my opinions on....your own interpretation of what and who he is!!! We simply do not know.

Again, Belle, please don't leave.

[justclay12]

Well, I can say that I fantasize about Clay all the time, mainly with him being at least half way naked, but where it stops is thinking that what I fantasize about is the reality. All I want for Clay is that he be happy, how he gets there is not something that I worry about. I do understand about feeling like Clay is more than a stranger though, because in many ways, I know him better than I know people in my real life. And I definitely can relate to being interested in his life, however I have no expectation of having all my curiousity fulfilled, nor do I think he is required to fill me in.

Oh, and I wanted to add that I wasn't referring to anyone here with the expectations not being met. I haven't read anything here lately that makes me think anyone is expecting something from him or being disappointed, other than maybe being afraid that he isn't happy.

[playbiller]

Now for something completely off topic =-

I went to look through my history on the browser and foudn the acrobat link at Amazon and though I would see if there was anything new on it (don't you ever go back to see what you were looking at? )

Found this and it cracked me up - what people looking at this product bought.

62% buy

On My Way Here 4.7 out of 5 stars (194)

$9.99

38% buy

The Magic Hat of Mortimer Wintergreen 4.0 out of 5 stars (1)

$13.46

I am easily amused.

[Couch Tomato]

Saw a pic of Jaymes on another board (supposedly taken yesterday) and she doesn't look 8 months pregnant to me. Today I'm leaning towards the negative side of the IIT equation. Ask me again tomorrow and I may have changed my mind.

Say What? Lord wouldn't it be delicious if Clay were able to give a huge F U to the media for this story? LOL I get giddy thinking about it.

Why is it wrong for some of us to want to know how he is, what he's doing, IIT, etc. I just don't see the harm in that -

I don't see anything wrong with it either as long as people realize it's their fantasy..and so far that's what I'm seeing. I've said over the years that I want Clay to be happy. To me, the past year is the happiest he's shown to the world. Can't say for sure that he is so don't know what happens when he steps out of the public view. If marriage and babies will do it for him, then fine. If another alternative is in the works, that's good too. Fairytale weddings...I've been to a few of those..it doesn't always lead to a fairytale life. I'd prefer a fairytale life part..and he lived happily ever after.... he can fill in the blanks.

And since I'm just getting home and I have a few pages to catch up and I already feel the tension I'm going to say a few things...before I chill for a few adn then catch up.

1. Ya'll ain't making me use ink no matter what you do and say.

2. Disagreement doesn't mean you're being tomatoed.

3. Strong personalities on this board..if you give, expect to take.

4. When you give, concentrate on what was written, not the person;

5. Play already told us that we were practicing medicine without a license. Don't psychoanalyze other posters. We save that skill for the rest of the fandom.

6. last word itis. It's not a pretty thing. Know when to let go.

7. The people you are having issues with...they are your cyber pals. Work it out.

and finally, this thread title says quite a bit to me..

it ain't my life..it's just my passion!

This ain't life and death here. I'm sure we all had something more important happen today than anything said here today. Today my mom's loop to loop with the steak knife has garnered us a new dishwasher. heh. It's the little things in life.

and I don't normally call out people but hey puddinsjoy..love ya!!

[Cotton]

Well, for me - he is an enigma. A mystery.

But I still trust him. My son is a mystery and an enigma, too.

I mean I've known him for 33 years. I've lived with him. I raised him. But still he and I are very different. Plus he's a guy! So - I don't always know how his mind works.

But I trust him in that he is a respectful person (most of the time - except when he loses his temper!) and reasonably intelligent. So I trust that he's not going to do something that will make me lose faith in him.

I trust Clay, too. I trust that he is who he has shown he is from the very beginning. He tries to live "right". I believe he tries to be honest and fair. I believe he respects himself and others. Until they give him a reason not to respect them. I have seen up close how Quiana feels about him. I have met Diane and Faye. Even though I don't "know" Clay, I have listened to him when I believe he was speaking from the heart.

I do NOT think he's perfect. But I believe in him.

Not to live as I want him to. But I believe he will continue to live by his own code. But I believe he has a code. I believe he's ethical.

And I quit worrying about him a long time ago. A long time before the mess of '06. I believe he has proven way more capable of making life and career decisions that are right for him than I would be.

I look forward to what he will do next. I look forward to 5 years down the road. I believe he will still be entertaining long after I'm gone.

I would have never in a million years even thought of something like SPAMalot. Never! And look at what he did with it.

I've seen evidence of who Clay surrounds himself with. And that is another thing that tells me he's a man of character.

Baby "news"?

IIT, it's his life. Noone can dictate what forms love may take. Who knows the nature of the relationship? I surely don't. And if J and C are in love, more power to them. If he agreed to father a child, to share parenthood with J to help her have her last chance at being a parent, then I'm sure he thought about it, weighed the pros and cons, and made the best decision he could - for him and Jaymes and the baby.

I can barely run my own life. I'm sure not going to judge the way he lives his.

I don't really care how he looks when he's passing through LAX. I think he dresses like DS in his off time. I don't really care that much about his hair.

Although there are times when he looks so damned good he makes me melt!

So - yeah, on some level I believe I 'know' Clay Aiken.

And I kinda like him!

[merrieeee]

I think I am not going to have any opinions!

But I still don't like the sNOflake pic because I think he looks sick......oh wait that's not an opinion, is it?

[Iseeme]

Hee Marieeeee - ummmm, I think it's an opinion. But we could take a poll!

[annabear]

That was quite an adventure, Kareneh!

I don't get what people don't get about people dreaming of a storybook romance for Clay. I haven't seen anyone here saying that they're throwing themselves off a cliff because they don't see that happening. Just expressing that they're a little saddened to see that it might not turn out that way afterall. Actually, the recurring theme here has been wishing him happiness - however one defines that, and, yes, ultimately it's up to Clay to define it for himself. I also think people have made it clear that they own their opinions. One feels this way, another feels that way. I don't see the sense in trying to tell others what their feelings should or shouldn't be. Our feelings are shaped by our experiences throughout our lives. We're all human and we all feel what we feel. Now I'm spouting the cliches!

Or else maybe it was the butt-pinch of True Love

*snort* Do we need more analysis?