#28: The man's a joy magnet!

[cindilu2]

I don't know how many people here know of Simply Clay and the lovely woman who started it, Char, aka clz4clay. I am very sad to say that I just read on the Clayboard of her sudden passing today from a heart attack. She is one of the first people I 'met' online in this fandom and was always, always a loyal and supportive fan of Clay.

[treenuts]

cindilu, I had read that earlier on their site. How very sad. RIP

DAMN muski ! Woman, you need to warn folks before ju st posting those lethal "O" inducing pics!

[cha cha trusty]

This shall forever be known as "ClaygasmAid"!! (or "HannahGate")

first we have this:

Ok, added a yellow circle around Hannah's fingers as they grab Clay's cute lil bum - it's her left hand, thumb at the top, pointer finger at the bottom (literally *and* figuratively).

Can you see it now???

and then we had this:

ohh, I never thought of a circle...I labeled... lol

Here's another diagram Claygasm...

then this:

ohh, I never thought of a circle...I labeled... lol

Here's another diagram Claygasm...

But, but, but (no pun intended....), look at the bend in her arm! Her hand couldn't possibly bend like that!

and I was working on this:

and this:

But, but, but (no pun intended....), look at the bend in her arm! Her hand couldn't possibly bend like that!

That bend is her RIGHT arm - she's reaching across the front of her body and pinhcing him with her LEFT hand!

Oh! Its her left hand????? No wonder I couldn't get it! I was watching her right hand!

oK....I'm :lmaosmiley-1: here, imagining Claygasm contorting her right arm and hand, trying to get it to bend that way! And then getting REALLY PISSED that she's not seeing 'the pinch'! I love you, honey, you know that...but dang, this is funny!

Watch that YouTube, babe :F_05BL17blowkiss: ....you're bound to see things clearly then....heeeeee! I love it!

Now you laugh but the really, really scary thing is you know me too damn well! I am alone in my office right now and I was doing EXACTLY what you just described! I was standing up, bending my arm at the same angle as her right arm was bent and trying to figure out just how she managed to bend her hand like that! AND I was SCREAMING at the computer because I couldn't see it!!!!!

So, now knowing I should be watching her left hand, I watched the YouTube muski posted a few times and EUREKA!!!!!

I finally saw it!!!!!! :00000442:

I still don't see it on the original .gif, but I do on this! I didn't the first few times I watched it when I was looking at her right hand, but now that I am looking at her left hand, I see it!!

Hallelujah!!!!!

I was blind but now I see!!!

I would like to sincerely thank all of you who so graciously helped this apparemtly visually impaired person to see the light - and the butt pinch!! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

ETA:

We have FCA'ers on the scene tomorrow night: luckiest1, cindilu2, crimsonice, wandacleo, jmh123 and playbiller per the Representing List. Perhaps one of them can be persuaded to jump the barricade and re-enact the incident for CG's benefit. C'mon, it's worth getting deported for, isn't it?

BWAH! I dare you guys!!! (And yes it would be worth it!)

and HERE - we have Hannah right before the act was perpetrated!!!

Oh, to make Clay laugh like this...

NOW: Can someone get a screencap of the security guard?????

[ldyjocelyn]

You guys are cracking me up! Poor CG, I can imagine your frustration....and then the lightbulb went off after more than a few helpful souls here were able to help. I love you all FCA women!

I keep hearing the music to "Jaws" playing as the soundtrack to the whole incident. The attractive ass is just bobbing along all innocent and unsuspecting-like when suddenly, out of nowhere, the predator strikes! AAARRRGGHHH!!! NOM, NOM, NOM.

LOL! And I find another Icanhascheezburger fan! Nom nom nom.

Oh, to make Clay laugh like this...

No freakin' kidding. This would be my dream come true. What a killer laugh. *sigh*

How sad for the Simply Clay board. How very sad.

I hope that luckiest1, cindilu2, crimsonice and anyone else I could be forgetting who are traveling tomorrow to Spamalot have a wonderful trip, and a great show!

Has anyone heard from jmh lately?

Off to watch the security guard...missed that. Hee.

[playbiller]

Why do I suspect that cha cha is plotting something for her web site - dedicate it to the pinch and inch? Naw, she wouldn't do that.

OK, strange mentions and just who did this anyways

From a blog

So the missus and I took a long overdue vacation to the Big Apple this weekend. But strangely, everywhere I turned was a reminder of Big D and Our Little Business:

<snip>

Remember the Clay Aiken flap? As we left our Friday night show there was an overflowing trash bin with a FedEx to Clay (who appears next door in Spamalot) from a Dallas fan. If it hadn't been pouring rain I would have snapped a photo.

[ldyjocelyn]

For couchie, a summary from farouche at CV:

Okay, here's a quickie not great scan of the performances page. I'm sorry -- but my good scanner is acting up. This one barely works and it's only compatible with my really old laptop. So I don't have time to clean these up and make them better. (Mr. SmoothLegs just came home; he's been gone a week.)

The text to the right that is not fully seen reads:

In the previous six seasons of American Idol, there have been upward of a thousand contestant performances in the semifinals and finals alone. (That's not counting auditions, a good chunk of which are tough to classify as actual performances.)

But which are the greatest Idol performances? There are many ways to determione the answers (see story at right for one method), but in the end it comes down to opinions. Everybody's got one, not the least the voraciously invested participants who comment daily about all things Idol on USA Today's Idol Chatter blog.

So we asked them to list their favorites, and here are the resulting top ten:

The non-Clay performances are:

2. Fantasia, Summertime

3. Blake Lewis, You Give Love a Bad Name

4. Constantine Maroulis, Bohemian Rhapsody

5. Kelly Clarkson, Stuff Like That There

6. Bo Bice, In a Dream

7. Carrie Underwood, Alone

8. Jordin Sparks, I (Who Have Nothing)

9. Katharine McPhee, Over the Rainbow.

(Clickable)

Hi -- another fly by post. My sense, from quickly flipping through the whole AI Extra thing, is that Clay gets a lot more coverage than virtually anyone else. There's another page that has two pictures of him (it's a trivia quiz and he is in a lot of the questions and multiple choice answers). Overall, there are a lot of photos of him and they are prominent. The performance one takes up much of a page. So does the one of he and Ruben. The Spamalot one is also quite large. Then he also has that whole photo spread on his different looks.

Overall, except for some of the Edna comments, I think the coverage is positive. Let me go quickly through the whole thing and break it down. It's 48 pages long. The cover features Jordin Sparks. No mention of Clay on the cover -- the cover is geared towards this season.

First noticeable mention of Clay (besides table of contents) is page 5. Two photos (both the same one -- from the AMA Invisible/Jesus performance) -- Idol trivia. (I have not scanned this page.)

Page 6 -- most contentious Idol moments. Pic of Clay and Ruben. (Scanned)

Page 8 -- Performances. Full half page photo of Clay. (Scanned)

Pages 10-21 are full pages on each of Season 7's contestants, so no Clay (or anyone else).

Page 23 -- How Clay was molded -- full page of only Clay. (Scanned)

There is a pullout scorecard for Season 7 that takes up a lot of the next few pages. Sanjaya has a page devoted to his different hairdos.

Page 28 -- Page devoted to Carrie and her style evolution.

Page 30 -- The Neon Lights Are Bright. Idols on Broadway. Standard Spam PR photo of Clay (in the tuxedo). Very prominent. (Not scanned) Pics of Fantasia, Tamyra, Frenchie, Josh Strickland, Diana DeGarmo. Then small blurbs and small pics of others, including Ruben.

P. 32 -- Album Sales. Chart of Idol sales. A pic of Clay's Christmas album. Clay is listed as third with total sales of 4.8 million. It includes the "All Is Well" EP (says it sold 53,000). He's #12 on downloads with 456,000. (Not Scanned)

Then they go backwards through the seasons, starting with season 6, doing a Where Are They Now? Jordin gets a whole spread and separate article. This does not happen for Carrie, Taylor, Fantasia, Ruben, or Kelly.

Clay is on p. 45 of this section. (Scanned)

So, overall, I think Clay gets more ink than virtually any other past contestant.

And a few scans (all clickable):

[00lsee]

How sad about Char. Too sudden, too soon. I am SO not ready to "go" yet, y'all.

But...I think muski's photos were not about "going", were they?

Thanks a lot for rendering me useless for the rest of the day. *sigh* Sure, the hind parts were the target this time, but I hope attention is given, thoroughly and often, to all the assorted and sundry parts of that lovely, loverly man.

[luckiest1]

I hope that luckiest1, cindilu2, crimsonice and anyone else I could be forgetting who are traveling tomorrow to Spamalot have a wonderful trip, and a great show!

Has anyone heard from jmh lately?

Thanks, we plan to. I don't think jmh has internet access....or at least she isn't answering pm's.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Less than 8 hours 'til we leave. I am heading for bed shortly. See y'all on the other side! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[treenuts]

Thanks a lot for rendering me useless for the rest of the day. *sigh* Sure, the hind parts were the target this time, but I hope attention is given, thoroughly and often, to all the assorted and sundry parts of that lovely, loverly man.

Recipe for a Happy Man -

Take one strapping BF

and add -

A spooning from behind

A pinch of ass

A cupping of Waldo

and A pounce of passion

Mix in a LARGE grail and seal with a kiss :F_05BL17blowkiss:

gently stirred, not shaken!

Lame I know......bwah

[annabear]

BWAH bottlecap! If I knew how to do it, I'd add that music to the gif!

Cha Cha - I love your "pinch pic within a pinch pic" for CG!

What sad news about Char. Life is short - enjoy the time we have.

All FCA ladies heading to NYC, have a blast! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

ETA: Well, I was just reading back & see that I missed some stuff prior to all the discussion about the oh-so-pinchable Mr. SweetCheeks....

Maybe I really do need glasses!

you do..cuz even I see it and I'm blind!

I spent another evening in my second home... the emergency room. They kept her this time. Hopefully they can find out what the heck is going on. Off to bed...I owe a few PMs but will do so tomorrow!!

Have fun wandacleo!!

And welcome gloch!!

Awww, Couchie, I'm sorry. Hope they can get some things straightened out this time, for both your sakes.

ETA2: Since I seem to have killed the thread, I'll just keep editing! These need to be posted again:

Those eyelashes are lethal....

The whole rear-view is mighty nice...

And even though part of this pic this has been the topic of mucho-goodo convo today, you can never have enough Clay Aiken bum, right??

[gloch]

Rohdy, Muskifest, Cha Cha and Couch tomato, thank you all for the welcomes. This board rocks. I love the humor.

There is something very sinister about that Hannah woman! CG, I felt so bad for you reading through all the posts and you just weren't getting it. I'm glad all of the "connect the dots help" made it possible for you to experience a little cyber heaven. It appears that the royal bum has moved up a couple of inches with the role in Spamalot.

Have fun to all of you getting to see the blond God tomorrow!

[Claygasm]

Rohdy, Muskifest, Cha Cha and Couch tomato, thank you all for the welcomes. This board rocks. I love the humor.

There is something very sinister about that Hannah woman! CG, I felt so bad for you reading through all the posts and you just weren't getting it. I'm glad all of the "connect the dots help" made it possible for you to experience a little cyber heaven. It appears that the royal bum has moved up a couple of inches with the role in Spamalot.

Have fun to all of you getting to see the blond God tomorrow!

Aw, you're sweet, gloch. And may I add my welcome! I think you made y our debut while I was in NY. This board does indeed rock! You'll love it here!

I mean where else will so many go to such great lengths to help you see someone pinch a butt cheek!

[annabear]

This board does indeed rock! You'll love it here!

I mean where else will so many go to such great lengths to help you see someone pinch a butt cheek!

We aim to please.... if only Clay knew....

[muskifest]

This board does indeed rock! You'll love it here!

I mean where else will so many go to such great lengths to help you see someone pinch a butt cheek!

We aim to please.... if only Clay knew....

Oh...I'm pretty sure Clay knows of the lengths his fans will go to, you know? I think of that schtick at a Christmas tour where he warned the 'first timers' of the people who had been to more than one Clay Aiken concert--how we'd have those poor, unsuspecting newbies' phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers, etc...

We KNOW he knows how quickly pictures and videos of....er.....him ....get shared and how recaps are up on the boards before the shows are over....I'm sure he knows the "Hannah Pinches Clay's Butt"-Gate is spreading all over ClayNation.

I DON'T think he knows this because he read it HERE, mind you. But he knows. And is probably getting a belly laugh out of it. Hopefully his belly and Hannah's belly are chafing each other from laughing...

Ifyougetmydrift....

[shamrock]

Cotton, the Spamalot representin' list thread is here. Check your PMs.

Thanks!

I now have the rep. list for FCA and CV printed out and in my SPAM trip folder!

BTW, those of you who have been - how partial is

Right Orch-partial Row A, Seat 8 Partial View?

ETA:

Crikey! Those pics are lethal!

Cotton, I sat in that seat the second time I saw Spamalot. It was a great seat for most of the show. The only time I had a problem was during Clay's big number, because Patsy and the King stand right in front of that seat. I had to look around them and through their legs to see Clay at the piano. Over all I don't think you'll be unhappy with the seat. I'm sitting there again for the closing performance on May 4.

I'll be at Spamalot this coming weekend too. Hope to see you again.

[Couch Tomato]

Thanks for the laughs today..... when ya'll started pulling out diagrams ...well I just got so tickled. It really lifted my spirits.

[merrieeee]

when ya'll started pulling out diagrams

OMG I so read that as Diaphrams! I've been reading way too many of muski's posts!

[atinal]

Thanks for the laughs today..... when ya'll started pulling out diagrams ...well I just got so tickled. It really lifted my spirits.

Couchie, how is you mom doing?

[Cotton]

:thbighug-1:Couchie and MamaCouchie !

Cotton, I sat in that seat the second time I saw Spamalot. It was a great seat for most of the show. The only time I had a problem was during Clay's big number, because Patsy and the King stand right in front of that seat. I had to look around them and through their legs to see Clay at the piano. Over all I don't think you'll be unhappy with the seat. I'm sitting there again for the closing performance on May 4.

I'll be at Spamalot this coming weekend too. Hope to see you again.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: Hope to see you, too!!!

I have 3 shows - row L Left Orch, inside aisle, Row C Orch DEAD CENTER! and that seat. I should get 3 very different angles on the show!

Okay, I had gone to bed - but . . .

Couldn't sleep.

And that damned muscle spasm is returning causing the pinched nerve in my neck! Exceedingly poor timing!!!

Just went a couple of rounds with my ProMedic massaging vibrator (shut up, not THAT kind of vibrator!!!) and hope I'll now be able to sleep.

But - while I was trying to unkink my muscle - my brain wouldn't shot up!

There was a young guard of the tower

Bored, he craved wielding his power

He joined up with the king

Proved he could dance, he could sing

Arthur made him a Knight

But the ladies desired the Knight in his bower

or - I think this is more correct form . . .

There was a young guard of the tower

Bored, he craved wielding his power

He joined up with the king

Proved he could dance, he could sing

But the ladies desired the Knight in his bower :F_05BL17blowkiss:

Now - pray I can get to sleep this time!

[Gibby]

Couchie, I'm so sorry about your Mom. I, too, hope they get things figured out.

BWAH to all those who posted diagrams! Such a difficult job, to research a butt pinch. CG, I'm glad you finally were able to see what all the fuss is about!

Muski, those were some seriously hawt pics! Whew!!!!!

I hope that all of the FCA babes at Spamalot tomorrow have a FANTASTIC time!!!!!

This post is brought to you by the exclamation mark ....

[00lsee]

Bwahaha, Cotton, how about?

There once was a young tower guard

Who thought knighthood 'twouldn't be hard

He could sing, he could dance

He looked swell in white pants

And good thing chain mail sells by the yard.

Or

The young man from guarding was tired

To knighthood he keenly aspired

Many fittings he took

To acquire the right look

And his seamstress was blissfully tired.

Or

Many limericks surely will come

When a knight gets a pinch on the bum

From a lady of lake

With her bosoms not fake

And her fortunate fingers and thumb.

Or

Somebody stop me right now

I'm rhyming with humor low-brow

But I can't seem to stop

muski's smut I can't top

Quick! Someone fetcha de cow!

[Couch Tomato]

Or

Many limericks surely will come

When a knight gets a pinch on the bum

From a lady of lake

With her bosoms not fake

And her fortunate fingers and thumb.

they're all great. Uh oh..now I want to think of one. heee

Cotton I can feel your excitement. My trip seems so far away!!

[cha cha trusty]

LOVE all the rhymes tonight!!

It's been an exciting day in Clay fandom! Whodathunk we'd get such great mileage from one lil' butt pinch!!

All the pictures and diagrams with all the circles and arrows and paragraphs explainin' --- kinda reminded me of "Alice's Restaurant" (the movie)

Here's the song/story - that part I'm talkin' about is somewhere in the middle

(about 7:15 and again at about 11:30)

[treenuts]

I realise I've already submitted my 3 pcs. of clack but I just had to post this one last clip!

Since I wasn't around during the AI2 tour and have never seen a lot of the clack from that time I am always drifting about looking for new-old clips to watch, that capture the intensity from that tour.

This piece is from St. Paul and it's Clay and Ruuuuuben singing. It's a short clip but I know if I wasn't already headoverheels for this guy then I certainly would be after watching this. THIS is one of the reasons I hope he does record some green-eyed soul. He really does it well!

http://www.clackunlimited.com/clack/Concer...irl_is_Mine.wmv

[ausdon]

Now you laugh but the really, really scary thing is you know me too damn well! I am alone in my office right now and I was doing EXACTLY what you just described! I was standing up, bending my arm at the same angle as her right arm was bent and trying to figure out just how she managed to bend her hand like that! AND I was SCREAMING at the computer because I couldn't see it!!!!!

We have FCA'ers on the scene tomorrow night: luckiest1, cindilu2, crimsonice, wandacleo, jmh123 and playbiller per the Representing List. Perhaps one of them can be persuaded to jump the barricade and re-enact the incident for CG's benefit. C'mon, it's worth getting deported for, isn't it?

BWAH! I dare you guys!!! (And yes it would be worth it!)

I was imagining you doing that very thing CG!

Bottle I am into historical re-enactments. Just for clarification purposes you understand.

Honestly,with the powers of persuasion, technical know-how and sheer persistance that has been shown over this (admittedly v.v. important) incident I would not be surprised if the worlds major organisations recruited our board to clear up some jobs they can't manage. You know, things like world peace, Interpols 10 most wanted, global warming,long term sustainable energy........

Actually, peace and energy solutions could be helped by that bum pinch- but it only worsens global warming....

ETA; Back on pg 5 a couple people mentioned WAMLAW from JBT. What city was this in?