#37: Whenever he's ready, I'm ready for whatever he's ready for.

[playbiller]

Thank you, thank you, I am NOT a year older, I am just a year more immature. I am greasing myself up with bug and sun screen and am taking my boogie board to the ocean and going to catch me some surf - am I the oldest boogie baorder? Probably, but my bones are good, if somewhat arthritic, so what the hel, I could use the excercise. let's just hope the bugs are better today, yesterday they followed me in the ocean, so I had to walk a half mile further from the bird preserve - not just any flies, but green head files that take out chunks of skin and leave you bleeding. But it is all in the pursuit of hedonistic pleasure, so you can see where I am coming from. The dog will be sleeping in airconditioning with the tv on for company, no animal planet here though, so not to worry about her.

Well, that explains a lot - I now can see where a basic disagreement with CG comes from - i believe everything is public on the internet, I google my name and my board names periodically and have changed posts based on what I saw because I did not want to appear a certain way, and I have found private information viewable on the internet and gone back and changed e-mail addresses and once found I listed my real name on a board! no no! The other day I was googling and decided I wanted to forward some IRA information to my ex - we don't exchange Christmas cards, so I don't have his address. I found someone had blogged about him, but when I went to the site, they had made it private, so I just looked in the chace and there it was! Interesting, not flattering, but amused me no end. Haters read Clay boards to get information and amunition and self gratification and no private section is ever really private despite what some people think. To the point - I can see where this misperception affects us differently, my main problem is when threads get archived and I can't go in and chang them. there is one personal piece of information I would greatly like to remove from an archived thread of the CH, but, hopefully, my personal trolls and stalker will not be seraching it out, so it will lie fallow. it is easier for me to find because I knew what i was looking for. Maybe you needa stalker for you to realize how little of the internet is private.

[ldyjocelyn]

Hello all! Thanks to all your good thoughts (and some great help from my husband), I am home and resting comfortably with the laptop in bed.

First things first -- the Steely Dan concert was a lot of fun in Chicago. I'm not a huge Steely Dan fan, but my husband is, so it was fun watching him be a "fanboy," singing along like crazy to songs he never thought he'd ever hear live. He's not such a fanboy that he travels all over for them, but I think he's incredibly grateful that he got to see them.

The two Clay connections to this concert: 1) the concert was at the Chicago theater, home of the JNT 2005. And, even cooler, the seats we had for Steely Dan were almost exactly the same seats we had for Clay's show. In both cases, that was great -- mezzanine, center. The mezzanine at the Chicago theater is actually pretty far back -- but we had a great view of the entire stage, and for the JNT 2005, that was very helpful. It gave a good flavor to the entire show. 2) I'm almost sure that a few of the musicians on stage with Steely Dan were a few of the musicians that worked on OMWH with Clay. Steely Dan, except for Walter Becker and Donald Fagen, are pretty much made up of studio musicians, so that's cool that people who worked with them also worked with Clay.

As for the surgery, every thing went pretty darn well. It's amazing when you get wheeled into surgery, look around, and the next thing you know, you're in the recovery room! After a few hours, hubby was able to get me home and into bed. I'm using crutches to help support the bad leg, but it's not all that painful, and I think in a day or two, I'll be able to walk without the crutches. They've also given me Percocet -- good stuff Maynard. So, for now, I'm going to finish this post, and then shut down the computer and read. I've got DVD's set aside to watch (including an X-Files primer set, to prepare for the movie next weekend), the Wii to keep me busy, and I'm going to start reading "Stardust" by Neil Gaiman. I think someone here recommended it, and I know the movie is coming via Netflix shortly...

cindilu, thank you for the beautiful wallpapers. His blog made me so incredibly proud of him, once again. I was hoping that I could have a new avi from those latest pictures, but of course, I was scooped. Darn. That's OK. I'll be fine. Really. *sniff* Seriously, the smile/grin on that man's face can light up a world.

Sorry to hear about your car troubles aikim, and Chardonnay, of course, I missed everything. Someday, you must tell for those of us who missed. BTW, also -- thanks for the Broads tournament. That is so much fun, and I'm two behind! Oh, and luckiest1, great baseball story!

And, no, I don't really consider "Clayton the wedding singer" traditionally handsome, but I believe the word adorable, while grinning like a loon, was what I kept saying last night! Of course, I don't really consider Clay today to be traditionally handsome, but I believe the word gorgeous, while grinning like a loon, has been uttered a time or two. Often times shortened to GAH! when the gorgeous is just too much.

hee you know what gets to me is a guy that can make me laugh. I'll be honest and say I seriously wonder if I'd notice him walking down the street back in the day. But seriously, that personality and the funny, you can't make that up all of suddedn cuz you're famous.

When I look at those pre AI photos of Clay, I know that as a young woman I would not have been immediately attracted to him but if I had had the chance to get to know him, say been in the same class at university and then to see any of his Hometown performances, I would have been so attracted, his kindness and voice and humour and yes, the confidence. And I always preferred the tall skinny guys.

These three posts pretty much sum up my feelings about pre-AI Clay. I really don't think I would have noticed him simply on the street, but I think getting to know him, and his sense of humor, would have made me notice him in a heartbeat.

I had a total of 3 dates in HS, but the guy I married made me laugh all the time.

That's me too. I think my husband is very cute, and sexy, but it's because of his personality. And his bright blue eyes. *g*

Iseeme, sorry to hear about your credit troubles...good luck with taking care of it all.

first the wet spot and now this..

can I live down anything

Nope...says the person who witnessed you putting "shampoo" on your face in New Hampshire...

Happy Birthday to Carolina Clay and playbiller

:hb2: :EmoticonRingAround: :00003653: :04:

Just stealing here....because I agree!

ITA...we do have fundamental differences here...and one of them is that I never forget that this is a public forum and that most of what I will post will be read by people that don;t really know me so I'm careful and have often chose to just keep quiet about things if I have nothing really good to say. If I do want to be bitchy and rant or just whine and complain I can do that on IM with couchie of ldyJ...hee

I learned a long time ago that the only thing to do with fundamental differences is to accept it...not fight it, and understand where the person is coming from and agree to disagree.

So much WORD! I do consider this a public forum, and honestly, I do think that Clay has "people" that keep an eye on so many of the message boards, and reports back to him on what's being said. I keep thinking of Quiana at the last show of the DCAT last year... So yes, I do try to say things respectfully.

Do I say things to my husband that can be critical? Yes I do...and I find that it's a habit I picked up from my mother. I hated it when she did it to me...and my husband hates it when I do it to him. I'm trying my best to break that habit.

So yeah, even though I don't feel I'm saying things "directly" to Clay, I do feel that I try my best to stay respectful. I can do it on a message board, and need to transfer that skill a bit more over to RL.

I think it's cool that we're talking about our different approaches to this board, and to criticism in general! I support the right to free speech, so I would never want to tell someone that they can't post criticism or talk about something they dislike about Clay or anything else. Being able to express one's opinion is a precious right, not to be taken lightly.

However, for me, it comes down to a conscious choice to see the glass as half full. I discovered a long time ago that I'm very unhappy when I dwell on things that I don't like, that are negative or are simply not to my liking. Of course I acknowledge that they exist, and if there's a problem, I'll address it. I'm not gonna put my head in the sand! But I can still choose to think about what I like and what makes me happy. I've found that it's a lot more fun to be happy than to complain! Those rose-colored glasses are better than prozac! Heee.

Gibby, I love you. Hee.

:F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss: :F_05BL17blowkiss: to annabear. Thanks sweetie.

Off to read for a while....

EDITED BY COUCHIE..just cuz you're recovering..I'll allow you to humilate me with the real truth. I put shampoo on my face..not lotion..which would be kinda normal. Get well soon

[Claymatron]

As for the surgery, every thing went pretty darn well. It's amazing when you get wheeled into surgery, look around, and the next thing you know, you're in the recovery room! After a few hours, hubby was able to get me home and into bed. I'm using crutches to help support the bad leg, but it's not all that painful, and I think in a day or two, I'll be able to walk without the crutches. They've also given me Percocet -- good stuff Maynard. So, for now, I'm going to finish this post, and then shut down the computer and read. I've got DVD's set aside to watch (including an X-Files primer set, to prepare for the movie next weekend), the Wii to keep me busy, and I'm going to start reading "Stardust" by Neil Gaiman. I think someone here recommended it, and I know the movie is coming via Netflix shortly...

Glad you're feeling better and the surgery went well. Just a word of advice on Percocet, though. Last year when I broke my arm, they gave me Percocet, which I took faithfully, as prescribed, for the first two days and managed to sleep most of the time. The third day, I took just one, got up to go to the bathroom and nearly passed out I got so dizzy and nauseous. Please take it easy, that's potent stuff!!! :thbighug-1:

[Iseeme]

Yayyyy - ldyj is back online!!!! Glad you enjoyed the Steeley Dan Concert. I have a Walter Fagen CD called Kamakyriad (sp?) that's really good - but quite honestly it sounds just like Steely Dan. It's pleasant listening music and their older stuff is very nostalgic to me.

I haven't been on this board very long but I honestly have never seen anything posted here - in the time I've been here - that could be harmful OR disrespectful to Clay if it got posted in the wrong place. However, having said that, hoo boy....I've seen stuff on other boards that would make your toes curl! CoughOFCcough! I am pretty sure that Clay's team checks out some of the bigger boards. OH OH OH - I remember one lady who talked about videotaping Clay's concert (I think back in the IT days where they were not allowing cameras...) and posted her seat number on the Clayboard. Let's just say she had an up close and personal encounter with Jerome during the concert!! I don't even remember who the poster was at this point but she complained about that for days. I thought it was hysterical that she posted her seat number and then was irate because she got caught! Hee! I also know of people who have received "letters" from Clay's legal team telling them to cease and desist selling things with his name or likeness - or footage from concerts! So.....TeamClayBigBrother IS out there watching.... I'm guessing this isn't something that just Clay's team does though - guessing it's any legal team of any celebrity. But I don't know that for a fact!

Play - green-headed flies that take chunks out of your skin? Where in the heck are you? That sounds horrible. Here on my mountain we have mosquitoes that look and sound like 747's. BUT....they have these cool bracelets you can wear now, kind of like the rubber ones that show support for various causes, that repel them. I'm thinking I need one for each wrist, each ankle, and a large one to put around my neck! But....the best thing for a mosquito bite is Preparation H - I kid you not! It works immediately! Course leaving the tube laying around on the deck kind of is a conversation starter......

[00lsee]

Claygasm, in my case, the willingness/inclination to express negative or critical things to or about other people is influenced by my family of origin and subsequent life experiences. In my relationships (childhood/marriage), some emotions do not feel safe to feel/express and my instinctive reaction to criticism, harshness, negativity, nit-picking, etc...is to get TENSE, even if it is not directed at me, personally.

Pardon my dysfunction, y'all. I'm doing my damnedest to change.

*********

Yay for successful surgery, ldyjocelyn...get well soon!

Claymatron

Last year when I broke my arm, they gave me Percocet, which I took faithfully, as prescribed, for the first two days and managed to sleep most of the time. The third day, I took just one, got up to go to the bathroom and nearly passed out I got so dizzy and nauseous. Please take it easy, that's potent stuff!!!

Yep. My mother fainted, hit her head on the bathroom doorframe, and required stitches in her scalp. Yeah, best not to stand up quickly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Carolina Clay and playbiller!!!

luckiest1, I loved your story about your son.

[playbiller]

I an a few hundred feet from a bird preserve with marsh, deer and foxes.

here is a link to howto get rid of them with a nice picture, but they are huge with scissor like teeth and will follow you out into the water and land and bite your head - so I go on a hike while repelling them to get away from the area where they are. heck if the flies were not here, i couldn't afford a place down here, it would cost 10 times as much. A few more weeks and they will be gone, this is just peak time.

Congrats on the surgery ldyjocelyn, Always good to get out of a hospital now just get better, miss druggie.

[Iseeme]

Wow - Play, I'll never complain about mosquitoes again...."flying sharks?" Didn't care much for the last option - sitting in your car! Have you thought about building a trap for them? Our local propane distributor sells these machines that sound like hay balers and they emit some kind of "something" that repels mosquitoes. For a mere $998 you can own one - and then pay for the propane as well. And they only work up to 700 sq. ft. I think I'd rather slather repellent on and wear silly bracelets.

I can't/won't/even attempt to speak for Claygasm...but I don't think she meant that you could say anything at any time to anybody. I read her post not quite so literally.....I think she meant if for some reason you don't like Clay's flat-ironed bleach blonde hair that it's okay to say so. That's not being disrespectful as much as just expressing an opinion. But then I guess that depends on where you're coming from in your own life.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE FLOVE JBT hair. I think he looked adorable, handsome, cute, sexy, manly, and just basically hunky with that short hair and those twinkly eyes. And that concert was just so full of snark.... But others prefer different hairdos. Not sure what my point was here other than I wanted to say I loved JBT hair.

I mean for the love of Allah - look at that perfectly perfect profile...

Some don't ever want to say anything at all unless it's positive....and that's great. But if someone does express an opinion and does it in a respectful way....that should be okay as well.

[00lsee]

I love this. Heavy metal monk...62 year old Italian friar proves age/background no impediment to creativity.

There's hope for me yet. LOL

*practices primal scream*

[justclay12]

ldyj, so glad the surgery went well and that you had fun at the concert. That anesthesia is some good stuff. Best sleep I've ever gotten, although the Percocet sleep worked good too. It was also the only pain pill that worked when I had a blocked kidney stone and when you get one of those, you don't want to be awake anyway.

[luckiest1]

Some don't ever want to say anything at all unless it's positive....and that's great. But if someone does express an opinion and does it in a respectful way....that should be okay as well.

Couldn't agree more. I suspect that my definition of "respectful" might not be the same as everyone else's though. Because I've read things that I didn't consider respectful here, as well as on pretty much every other board I've been to. But c'est la vie, I'm still here, aren't I? I'll continue to post in a way that makes me feel comfortable, as I'm sure will everyone else.

luckiest1, I loved your story about your son.

Thanks! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[jmh123]

Luckiest, I loved it too. You write so very well. It's like I was there.

Good Morning Everyone,

Had an extra 2 cents lying around so thought I would throw it into the pile...for me it is simple...I was bullied in grade school and beyond much like Clay was; so I have a lot of empathy for him and because of that it has affected how I post about Clay. I can have a very thin-skin where criticism is involved; even though I know that not all criticism is bad and it shouldn't be taken personal.

But sometimes I do think..."wow, Clay had to take so much criticism in school about his hair, clothes, etc...why should he still have to put up with that from his fans"? Because you know, the boards can seem like high school a lot of the time with all the pettiness; snobbery and cliquish behavior that goes along with it.

Or maybe that is just my perception coming from the high school experience I had...I don't know.

I just know that I have had to learn and I am not always successful to be more tolerant of opinions that I don't agree with and not take personal offense and immediately going into defense mode where Clay is concerned.

And I do think there are fans who enjoy playing devil's advocate and stirring things up; I have seen it happen...one little comment and then they sit back and watch the fandom implode.

This is well-said. Some are definitely more sensitive about critical comments than others, and both sides can learn to understand each other better.

Then there are those, as you say, who like to stir things up.

Kim!

You mean there are people with Oppositional Behavior Disorder on the boards who like to stir the Turd???!!!

Say it isn't so!!!

There's a name for it? Who knew.

Some don't ever want to say anything at all unless it's positive....and that's great. But if someone does express an opinion and does it in a respectful way....that should be okay as well.

And I think it is OK. It's inevitable on a fan board that an opinion expressing dislike for something will elicit posts from those who do not share your dislike and want to say that they like it, whatever it is. Those should not be construed as statements that you don't have a right to your opinion. When someone disagrees with you, they aren't saying that it wasn't OK to say it, they're saying they disagree. There's no reason to regard those comments that someone does like whatever it is you don't like as criticisms of you.

For example, should you say I don't like spinach, some people will say I do like spinach. They're not criticizing you, just saying they do like spinach. If you happen to say this on a green leafy vegetable fan board, you may get a lot of responses like that--that's not because of you; it's because most people were drawn to that board because they really, really like green leafy vegetables.

Whatever there is about Clay that doesn't appeal to someone--hair, eyeliner, clothes, the way he looked as a 19 year old, whatever--chances are there are more people here that do like it than there are who don't. They aren't ganging up on you, they're just joining in the conversation. (Assuming respectful tone on both sides.)

[cha cha trusty]

hello from the beach!!,! access on this phone is iffy at the beach but we are currentl in rohobeth having lunch at a brew pub. having a great time, but will never catch up on the board!

TTFN!

[annabear]

ldyj! :thbighug-1: Glad you had fun at the concert, the surgery went well & you're comfortably recuping at home. :F_05BL17blowkiss: Back at ya!

I'm that I won't be seeing Couchie or Muski again or meeting the infamous eHP in SF... Have fun & try not to get into too much trouble!

Wishing a verra, verra :bday: to CarolinaClay and Playbiller!!

[Couch Tomato]

Sorry you won't be here Annabear. Muski won't be here this weekend either. If anyone else wants to hang, don't stand on ceremony just PM one of us. There isn't any schedule anyway... I'll just be waiting by the phone hee.

I wanted to tell the eHP (cuz I know even if they've left already they all have great electronics and will be able to read this)... just in case they don't know..it's against the law to drive while holding that cellphone up to your ear. You need the equip so you can be hands free. I handle this by not answering my phone while driving. IIRC Solo has the right stuff already anyway.

Hey Chach!!

[djs111]

I think a basic flaw in the premise that people are "choosing" to not be negative is perhaps the inability to understand that everybody has a different mindset. It is almost insulting to say that glass-half-full folks are only choosing to be that way, and are just uncomfortable with saying glass-half-empty. Nope.

If I was to criticize my family and friends they would ask me who died and left me in charge of things. Which is what I would say too. And if they spoke harshly to me about my choice of a partner or whatever, I would likely just stop hanging around with them, life's too short to waste on negativity.

Yay for ldyj and her operation! My similar operation changed my life, in a way - I am no longer terrified that my knee will lock up and hurt like a beeyotch.

Those flies that play speaks of are horrible, they bit me until I was bleeding. I finally got revenge - I used up play's minutes today, wishing her a happy birthday!

Much worse things get said than mere hair-related quibbles. Even so, the complaint seems to be that others don't agree with negative stuff, which really is asking too much. I don't see negative posts getting deleted, I just see them being disagreed with.

Heeee....if anyone wants a lot of agreement on negative posts, they should try Sucks, not a fan board! :-)

A couple of days ago I caught part of a show (Knitty Gritty?) that showed a roving group of knitters who left random knitted sleeves and such on doors and phone lines, etc. I think it was in Houston - is that anyone from here?

[muskifest]

hello from the beach!!,! access on this phone is iffy at the beach but we are currentl in rohobeth having lunch at a brew pub. having a great time, but will never catch up on the board!

TTFN!

OOooh! cha cha! I LIVED in Rehoboth Beach for 7 years when I taught high school English in a town inland from there about 18 miles. I know it's really changed since I was there, though. What's the name of the brew pub? I've probably made some memories there.

[liney23]

jmh said...

Some don't ever want to say anything at all unless it's positive....and that's great. But if someone does express an opinion and does it in a respectful way....that should be okay as well.

And I think it is OK. It's inevitable on a fan board that an opinion expressing dislike for something will elicit posts from those who do not share your dislike and want to say that they like it, whatever it is. Those should not be construed as statements that you don't have a right to your opinion. When someone disagrees with you, they aren't saying that it wasn't OK to say it, they're saying they disagree. There's no reason to regard those comments that someone does like whatever it is you don't like as criticisms of you.

For example, should you say I don't like spinach, some people will say I do like spinach. They're not criticizing you, just saying they do like spinach. If you happen to say this on a green leafy vegetable fan board, you may get a lot of responses like that--that's not because of you; it's because most people were drawn to that board because they really, really like green leafy vegetables.

Whatever there is about Clay that doesn't appeal to someone--hair, eyeliner, clothes, the way he looked as a 19 year old, whatever--chances are there are more people here that do like it than there are who don't. They aren't ganging up on you, they're just joining in the conversation. (Assuming respectful tone on both sides.)

jmh... WORD Especially the bolded part above. I sometimes see someone take offense at someone stating they liked something that they just stated they didn't like and I go... huh??? You explained my feelings about it exactly.

When you're talking about feelings, everyone has their own and no one can tell someone they can't feel a certain way. When you talk about actions, then the best you can do is let someone know how that action made you feel. When you tell someone what they did is wrong they can disagree till the cows come home, but when you tell them what they did made you feel a certain way, there is no argument. Well, some people will argue about anything, but you get my drift, I hope... if not, don't tell me... k?

Going to a seminar this weekend, starting tonight, so might not be around much!

eHP, have a blast in San Fran!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Playbiller and Carolina Clay!!!!

[spikesmom]

Happy Birthday CarolinaClay and playbiller!!

Interesting discussion today... I have just enough crap in my RL that I prefer to be positive about most things in my fandom BUT I appreciate being able to read everyone's opinion... even when I don't agree, often times, it makes me think and that's a good thing! When I see the nasty negativity (which I really don't see here but other places), I wonder about that person because it seems they might have found a nicer way to state their not so positive opinion... JMO and all that jazz... you can give constructive criticism without being downright mean (or hateful) about it... hopefully that makes some kind of sense...

jmh - agree with what you said - often I'll wonder if I read the same posts when it sounds like a disagreement is breaking out - I think it's hard not to be thin skinned when someone states a different opinion than you might have - I know I've had to learn to not take everything so personally. It often times takes me a long time to compose a post and then many times, I won't even post it. I worry too much about my post being taken the wrong way, even though it's JUST my opinion but I don't want to end up in the middle of a disagreement... it's mostly in conversations like this where people might feel I'm picking on them because I don't have the same opinion - and I'm not. I do respect everyone's right to state their opinion, maybe I just miss the days when folks were a little more civil to each other... again, not sure if I'm really getting my point across or not...

ldyj - glad to hear you're doing good!

[treenuts]

Clay is such a real person.

Best statement I've read all day, Fear! I'm sure I have criticised this man at some time over the past two years but I definitly respect and admire him and his tenacity. As well as his very very fine ass I might add!

:00003653: :fest30: :bier:

Playbiller & Carolina Clay

[aikim]

Saturn just called, my car is not going to be ready today as promised...crap...I had my whole day planned out for tomorrow...errands I needed to do.

Spikesmom You got your point across just fine and I agree with what you said.

Kim

[jmh123]

:00003653: :fest30: :bier:

Playbiller & Carolina Clay

I'm just going to steal this and add a little :bday:

So should we do a poll and see how many of us crabs there are? We definitely need a crabby crab emoticon!!

[luckiest1]

Oh, that sucks, aikim.

jmh123, love the spinach analogy! :F_05BL17blowkiss:

[Claygasm]

Yup, we all come from different places and those places determine our perceptions of life around us.

I guess I come from a family and group of friends who are blatenly honest with each other. I think criticism - positive or negative - is very constructive. How can you learn if you don't hear all sides? I want to know, in a respectful way, if someone thinks I have screwed up, look like shit, made a mistake, etc. I also want to know if someone thinks I did great, look great or made a really good decision. I count on the people I love and trust to tell me these things, to give me their honest feedback. I don't always heed what they say, but I always listen. I try to take from the negative lessons to help me improve myself and my choices. If I can't see their point, I thank them and go my own way.

I know I am not someone Clay loves or trusts (damn it!). and we don't have a real relationship (damn it again!). But I guess I figure since I feel strongly about him, I get to say the same things to him I would say to someone I care about.

As for someone taking my words and using them against Clay - guess what. Not my problem. Not my concern. I cannot and will not live my life worrying about someone else's actions. If someone did that, guess what. The onus is on them, not me. I am only responsible for my actions and my words and how I say them. If someone chooses to twist them, that is a reflection on them, not on me.

What makes a message board interesting and fun, IMO, is variety - a variety of people and points of view. Makes for a lot more interesting discussions and more fun - most of the time. It also presents its own set of challenges. Its easy to live in a world where everyone thinks like you, acts like you, comes from the same place as you, shares your beliefs etc. It is also, IMO, boring. Variety is not only the spice of life, but it also makes your life richer.

I love to travel and one of the many reasons I do is to experience different cultures, meet different people. I may like some more than others. I may be able to see myself living in some cultures and not others. But I always learn from them, respect them, and feel richer for having seen them. In a way, that's how I feel about variety on a message board. Although I may not like the variety all the time, I feel it is interesting reading different POVs and I feel the whole experience is a lot more fun and enjoyable for it.

:bday2: PLAYBILLER and CAROLINA CLAY!

[playbiller]

[jmh123]

Oooooo, I like this one! Thanks.